|
"Oh, umm, teehee, you go Angel, go on" "No Willow its okay, you go" "No Come on,"
He took an un-needed breath and began...
"Right, here goes, Willow, tonight, you could have died, and I know you know that but it hit me, you could have died and I`d never have told you how I felt about you. When Doyle had the vision, I went ballistic, I left straight away, at 3pm, in the afternoon, I was so worried about you, the thought of something happening to you makes me want to break down and cry, I could have lost you and I just cant take the chance that something like that happens again and I never told you."
He waited for her to take it all in and looked away for fear of the rejection and revolsion in her eyes. If he`d carried on looking at her face he`d have seen the complete and utter look of disbeleif and hope.
"A..Angel...I dont know what to say, I mean..."
Before she could finish he interupted and said,
"I know you dont feel the same way Will, I just had to let you know, I couldnt bear looseing you" "ANGEL..For goddesses sake will you let me finish..Gawd, right, here goes. Angel, I ..I need you too, I thought I`d never get to tell you, never get to hear if you cared about me too, I was so scared, so damn scared and you werent there to help, but then you came and everything was alright, do you know how much that means to me." "Willow, Little one what are you saying?" "Im saying Im in love with you" "Im in love with you too, Willow, I left because I was in love with you..I..." "Thats a damn funny way of showing it Angel, you left, you didnt say goodbye even, my heart broke, and I couldnt greive, not properly, I went through it alone, cos you ended up breaking my bestfriends heart aswell so I had to be there, hear her cry, and all I wanted to do was collapse, the pain was immense, I hated you for a little while you know, but I couldnt stay angry at you, I loved you" "Willow Im sorry, I didnt..I thought it would be easier, I spose for me, I could see I was hurting you by pushing you away and I couldnt do it anymore, I was so close to comeing to you and telling you everything, but I couldnt hurt Buffy like that, or the others, they bearly trust me as it is, what do you think they`d have done if they`d found out I was harbouring feelings for you?" "I know Angel, but you hurt me, you LEFT"
She was crying now, tears rolling down her cheeks and pooling on her chin, every sob went straight to Angels heart. He HAD left and he HAD hurt her, he wished he could take it back, make the decision again, but it was too late. He just hoped he could repair the damage, now he knew how she felt about him, he couldnt let her go.
"Willow, sweetheart, Im sorry, Im so sorry, I didnt mean to hurt you, I love you, I just thought it would be for the best, I nearly caved at one point, Do you remember when faith poisoned me?" "Ye..yes.." "Well when you came in to check on me you thought I thought you were Buffy, I didnt. I knew it was you, I couldnt leave. At that moment I couldnt leave, I just wanted you to hold me and I needed to tell you how I felt, then you thought I was delerious so I just let you beleive it" "Oh, Angel, I wanted you to know it was me but I just thought you were deleriouse"
Willow looked at him and decided to go for it, he needed to know she knew everything.
"Angel..I know, about your soul, that was what hurt the most, I risked my life to give it back..TWICE..and its permenet Angel, I know its permenet I worked it out, and I know you worked it out, and you didnt tell me, you just left. I risked my life and you just left. Thats part of the reason I wanted to be able to hate you. You didnt trust me enough to tell me. Goddess that hurt"
Angel sat there slack jawed, She knew, and she`d never said anything, to anyone. He was so sorry for hurting her.
"Willow, I love you Im sorry, I didnt mean for you to hurt, but, I love you" "Yeah, but are you sure, Buffy was sposed to be the love of your un-life, what changed that?" "You did, when I came back from hell, you took me in, took care of me, and I realised what a beautiful woman you are, and how careing you are. I just couldnt help falling in love with you. Buffy and I could never be together, not really, and I didnt love her the same way anymore" "Angel, I will not be a concelation prize behind the Slayer, Im not settling for second best again, I did that with Oz, and look how that turned out" "Will, the mutt never deserved you, and you are NOT second best, your first, you`ll always be first with me"
"I love you Willow Anne Rosenbourg" ""I love you too Angelus, Keiran, O`Brien"
"How did you find out my full name?"He asked shocked, and a little ammused. "Im a nosey inquisitive busy body, thats how" she said grinning at him.
"I love you," "I love you too"
* * * * * * * * * * * |
|