Willow was brooding, she couldn't help thinking about him. She had thought her heart had forgotten, or at least healed a little, but when he had come to check on Buffy it had stirred everything up again. She had realized how much she loved him when he was taken from them. He had lost his soul, become Angelus, and all she had been able to think about was getting him back. Even if he was with Buffy, at least he would be alive, and well, and the thought of his soul stuck somewhere in the ether made her want to cry. So when she had found Miss Calendars disk with the translated curse on it, she had insisted on performing the ritual. She didn't care about how it would effect her, she just needed him back. The first attempt failed, Kendra was killed by Drucilla, Buffy was accused of the crime and Angelus had managed to open the portal from Acathla. Sat in her hospital bed she'd performed it again, and it had worked, she knew, she felt something go through her, and as Cordy had put it
"the orb did that cool glow thing".
He never returned to them though, and later after they'd learned that Buffy had gone, they realized she hadn't been in time and she'd had to kill him anyway. She had been in hell, her world collapsed, she couldn't cope. She knew she had Oz, and the feelings for Angel would never be reciprocated, but she had hated every second of his time in hell.
But Buffy had come back, and Angel had dropped from hell, and she was so happy, her best friend home, and her love back in this dimension. He'd avoided her though, and it hurt like crazy. She'd missed him so much and he avoided her. She didn't know why, or what she'd done to make him hate her. When Buff had told her he was leaving her heart broke, but she couldn't show it, so she was there for her friend, and did her crying in private, when Buffy had said,
"I think horrible is still coming, right now its much worse, right now Im just trying to keep from dying"
She had thought
(Im right there with you buff, right there with you)
Then he'd gone, walked away after killing the Mayor, not said goodbye, not looked back, and her heart broke all over again.
She'd been searching for a spell to anchor Angels soul for months, ever since he'd come back, then one night she'd sat and thought about it, and realized that it was already anchored. He achieved total happiness the night he decided to greet the sun, because it snowed on him, proving that he was needed on this planet. He must have realized but he still left, and he never even told her, the one who had anchored it aswell as giving back to him in the first place. Jesus that had hurt, like no pain she'd experienced, he hadn't trusted her enough to tell her.
She was miserable, he was off being happy with goddess knew who, she wanted to share in that happiness, but he didn't want her. She was miserable!
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