thebeginningoftheendofTCG

So, I drove The Crazy German home. He invited me in. I�ve wanted to discuss my job dilemma. The Crazy German said that he finally had some time to talk to me about it. I was excited and ready to dive into my story, when he pulled out pictures he had taken in New York. Don�t get me wrong, I was happy to look at them. Some of them were very well done. You�ll understand later as to how that pertains to the story. We finished looking at the pictures, and he said, �alright, what is happening with your job�. So I explained the return to school, move to the city mumbo jumbo. The conversation kept spinning off into other sub-conversations. Out of nowhere he told me that he knew sooner or later the bedtime was going to become an issue. He said that I wouldn�t understand because I don�t �care� about my job. But for him one of his priorities is making sure he has enough sleep so that he can be the best The Crazy German he can be at work.

I was pretty drunk from Big Daddy�s dinner party. I was a little over sensitive, but I felt like he was blaming me for being up so late. First of all, he asked me to come in and stay over. He asked me to look at picture from New York, and he said that he had time to talk to me about me life changes. I think that if he was so concerned about his precious sleep he shouldn�t have scrambled off into so many sub-conversations. It would have been easy enough to just say, �Stephenie you are 22 you can do what ever you want, I believe in you yada yada yade�. Before he announced the �I knew the bedtime thing was going to be an issue� I had no idea he was even sleepy.
I felt that he was upset with me and I felt obligated to justify why I was wasting his time. I explained that it wasn�t my intention to come between him and his priorities. I told him that I have a lot of respect for him and I just wanted his opinion. I also added that because I was in California, then Michigan, and he was in Indiana, and then New York, there hasn�t been a great time to discuss this with him. (this is where it gets sticky)

I completely offended The Crazy German by saying, �there hasn�t been a great time to discuss this�. He said, �Stephenie I can�t believe you, this is a conversation we should be having three years from now. Not one that we should be having after only a few weeks. Now you are saying I don�t make enough time for you. You have so many expectations of me. I can�t be what you want me to be I can only be The Crazy German�

My caveat:
That is NOT what I meant at all! I was simply trying to explain that I wasn�t keeping him awake because I don�t care about him or his career. I was just saying that I didn�t realize in that situation it wasn�t appropriate to discuss my life goals. And, the only reason I did was because we haven�t had any time together.

I tried to explain but that just made him more upset with me. I put my arms around him and pulled him closer. Set his head on my chest and stroked his hair. I said I�m sorry and that we both should just go to sleep. He was really upset and didn�t want to sleep. He said that to be with him I would have to understand that we need to argue. I told him that argueing was fine but I didn�t want him to be upset with me. He said that he was upset with me but that was all part of it. I let that comment go and continued to stroke his hair, while apologizing profusely. It didn�t matter, he was awake and ready to fight.

I suggest that maybe having a little sex with me would make him feel better. He thought that was a pretty good idea also. But just as feta makes everything bedda, he thought I should give him a little head and then let him have sex with me. So I roll over and pull off his underwear and went down like a DC-10. He took off my clothes and said, �this is very unfair, why are you doing this, I don�t want to have sex with you�. So I said, �that�s ok, we don�t have to. If you didn�t want it why did you ask me to go down on you?� He said, �Well at first I was kidding, and then it felt good�

I wasn�t really ok with that. My feelings were hurt. I mean why wouldn�t he want to have sex with me. So I rolled over. I and said, �OK, just give me a kiss on the forehead and we�ll both go to sleep.� He said no, so I was really upset. I said, �You can�t even kiss me good night, that is to intimate for you, I can put my mouth on your penis, you can�t even kiss my forehead?� He said no, and explained that he is very stubborn and there are going to be times I�m not going to get my way. To which I replied, �I�m very stubborn too, I�m leaving�. So I stood, up and staggered over to my clothes and shoes. I was completely drunk. I didn�t realize I was so drunk while I was laying down, but man oh man when I stood up��..drunky McGee and the all stars!

The Crazy German agreed that I should go. Which drove me absolutely fucking crazy. (I wasn�t sure if he realized that if I walked out that door, I would never see him again. And I want to see him again. So I really wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt) as I was literally falling out his bedroom door, I stopped and said, �No! I�m not going to risk my life because you are a fucking idiot (I don�t believe I actually said that, but God how I wish I had) and crawled back into bed. He said, �What if I want you to leave?� I told him he didn�t have a choice. So he got back into bed.

I waited until he was sound asleep, but then I couldn�t hold it back any longer. I need to cry. So I pulled the blanket over head, turned over on my stomach and sobbed into the materess like a little girl. The Crazy German was giving off, �I�m gonna wake up soon vibes�, so I calmed myself down. He fell back into a deep sleep. I was feeling a bit more clear headed and I really didn�t want to wake up next to him in the morning so I snuck out. (P.S. fucking hard wood floors) As I was unlocking the back door The Crazy German popped up behind me. He said, �so you are leaving.� In the clearest, I haven�t been crying voice I could muster up I said, �yeah, I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow, I think I should get home�. So he got dressed and walked me to my car. I walked around my car and went to unlock the door, he leaned up against my car and said something. I don�t remember what because I was in a drunk/sleep coma at that point. Whatever he said it must have been beautiful because moments later he was hugging me. I went with back to his house, he kissed my forehead and we both finally fell asleep, with him spooning me.