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The
Book of Cookies
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Which
are Yummy
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6:1 |
FishGod did then go about his business, though he did fast all morning. |
| 6:2 |
But the fast was not intentional, and availed FishGod little. so he did seek to break his fast. |
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6:3 |
And at this time did a package of cookies appear before FishGod, and he did perceive that they were gifts from the Apes of Justice. |
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6:4 |
Though technically the cookies did not legally belong to FishGod. |
| 6:5 | And so did FishGod indulge in the cookies. |
| 6:6 | For at time the Messiah doth need to forget that he is the Messiah, as at times the sons of man do need to believe that they are messiahs (though in truth they are not). |
| 6:7 | And the cookie was very good, and because he was protected by the Apes of Justice, FishGod was not busted. And he was greatly pleased. |
| 6:8 | Later in the week the Apostates said to FishGod, "Was it not a sin to take the cookies, which were not thine, but did belong to thine neighbor?" |
| 6:9 | And FishGod did reply, "Wouldst thou deny a farmer his crop, saying that it belongeth to the rain and the sun? Or wouldst thou deny a child his body, saying that it belongeth to his mother, who did endure the pain of labor and did weather nausea and cravings for arcane and unholy ice cream flavors? No more then shouldst thou deny a man that which he needeth and can attain, for in a world of happy fish, he who pleaseth himself contributeth as much as he doth consume." |
| 6:10 | The Apostates were unconvinced and Ron did say, "Who art thou, O FishGod, to decide what is thine and what is not? And how shalt thou fairly decide this when thou art tempted by the sweet crumbly goodness of a cookie, which is indeed appetizing in time of duress or with coffee?" |
| 6:11 | FishGod did reply, "That which springeth forth and sayeth, 'Take One' like an open and unattended cookie package is like unto corn which groweth wild and belongeth to whosoever hath a little corn holder, which verily, doth look like a little corn. |
| 6:12 | "But that which sayeth, 'I hath been carefully prepared and thine interference shall ruin me' like an unattended turkey dinner with a quarter or more of the fixin's belongeth to the sons of men, and the servants of FishGod shall not partake of it without permission. |
| 6:13 | "And if a man deceiveth himself and knoweth not what is his, he shall go ahead and partake and see if I care, for he is damned anyway and shall not enter the Sphere of Glory by any means, lest he hideth in a trunk or something, which is risky business. |
| 6:14 | "It is good for a man to take that which hath appeared to meet his needs, for this is a sign of faith. It is likewise sin for a man to sneak about and rob others to satisfy his desires, for this is a sign of faithlessness. |
| 6:15 | "Verily, this law, the Law of Hunger, giveth a man free cookies, and so it is clearly blessed." |
| 6:16 | Amen. |
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