Gojira
Godzilla, King of the Monsters
(1954)
AKA

Godzilla

Staring:

Godzill
a
Premise: Fishing boats have been disappearing off the coast of Japan.  Rather than blaming the usual cause of sailors going from port to port, looking for women, find a shady hooker that kills them in their sleep before stealing their wallets (I'm not speaking from experience, I swear), they decide to investegate the open sea in search of what's been happening.

Of course, you send a boat to a spot where another boat disappears, what do you think is going to happen?  It disappears.

The inhabitants of a small island named Odo are the only witnesses to the accounts, and this time the Japanese get smart and send a helicopter instead.  The residents of Odo claim the destruction of the ships was caused by the mythilogical sea demon Gojira...

"What's that name?  Godzilla?"

"No!  Gojira!"

"Bah.  What a stupid name.  I like Godzilla better."

"Gojira!  Gojira!  Gojira!"

And from that moment on, the creature was known as Godzilla.

Anywho, that night on the island, a giant storm hits, accompanied by giant footsteps and a massive bellow.  Like any intelegent people featured in a 1950s movie, when you have reason to believe a giant monster has surfaced, you chase after it.  A second expedition to Odo is sent via boat (morons), and this one actually survives the journey (you're still morons).  They investigate a series of radioactive footprints on the island, as Odo sounds their Godzilla alarm (the prototype for the Japan's required kaiju siren in the future was just a bell and hammer).  "Grab your torch and pitchfork!  RIOT TIME!  Let's chase the motherfucker back to the Jurassic...HOLY SHIT!!!!!  RUN AWAY!!!!"

The giant 50 meter tall beast known as Godzilla rises it's head above a hill, witnessing the first Japanese evacuation caused by a kaiju in history.  He laughs at the puny humans and wonders back into the sea thinking to himself "Japan...I think I like it here."

Because Japan has a strict no monster policy, they send a group of Navy boats to Godzilla's oceanic dwelling to bomb the living hell out of it.  This only succeeds upon awakening Godzilla from his slumber, and Godzilla is not a morning person.  Eventually arising from the depths, Godzilla attacks Tokyo Harbor, trashing the place with ease.  But his party is short because he is still groggy, he decides to finish his nap and attack the next morning.  "This is too much fun.  I gotta make a habit out of this."

The people of Japan use this time to build a series of electrical towers around their city (and you wondered how the cities kept rebuilding after each rampage, that's how good their construction companies are.  They get the job done, damnit).  Godzilla arises the next night, and confronts the towers surrounding the city, and tears through them with the greatest of ease.  Godzilla proceeds to lay ruins to Tokyo.

Meanwhile, an american reporter shouts descriptions into a tape recorder because he is too mentally retarded to escape the city with the rest of the civilians.

Godzilla does his thing and returns to the sea, leaving the people of the world wondering just how the hell they can defend themselves from such a creature.  The answer lies in the laboratory of Dr. Sarizawa, who may have just discovered the most dangerous weapon on the planet...

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