Godzilla 2000
AKA
Godzilla 2000: Millennium
(1999)
Staring:
Godzilla
Orga
Premise: For some reason, a group of idiots known as the Godzilla Prediction Network decided it was a good idea to be chasing around the giant behemoth known as Godzilla. GPN has taken on a new recruit, a whiney reporter named Yuri who just wants good photos of the monster, bringing their employee rate to an all-time high of THREE! The other two are Shinoda and his daughter Io, who, according to their high standards, dub their new reporter friend an "imbecile" (though, one would have to be in order to just drive toward the destruction of a rampaging lizard).
They are not the only group hunting down Godzilla. The Crisis Control Istitute, led by Shinoda's nemesis Kataguri, works with the military to destroy the creature (at least these guys have the smarts to bring defense). While searching the depths of the ocean, CCI discovers a meteorite well over 60,000,000 years old. They attempt to raise it, but something within it awakens and the giant rock bursts to the surface and heads straight toward Godzilla.
Boy, G sure is popular these days. People want to study him, kill him, now even giant space rocks are hunting him down. Now that means your special!
The military is already engaged with Godzilla, but the creature just walks straight through their defenses...just like he always does. Do the Japanese ever learn? At first you don't succeed is one thing, but to keep failing at something you've sucked at for 45 years is another. It's kind of like how Uwe Boll keeps making movies because he thinks he has talent.
Anywho, the Japanese get shitcanned again, and now it's the giant flying rock's turn. Surprisingly enough, it has better success, mostly because there's an uber-cool UFO inside istalled with a kickass laser beam. Godzilla goes down for the count and retreats to the bottom of the ocean. As the sun goes down, the UFO begins to lie dormant.
While CCI attempts to contain the UFO, Shinoda collects pieces of foam rubber...er...I mean, Godzilla skin tissue for annalysis. Shinoda strikes a deal with Kataguri to study the sample in CCI's labs, and discover Godzilla has a unique regeneration process (yeah, it's called Stitching-the-Suit-Back-Together), and is able to revive dead tissue in a matter of minutes. Shinoda calls the process Regenerator G-1, proving he should have no right to name things.
Meanwhile, Yuri discovers an outside source has been hacking into her computer. Shinoda takes a look at it, and other than discovering tons of files devoted to lesbian porn (defensively she states "*cough* Yeah, that's not mine. Whoever hacked in there must have...um...uploaded it...or something." ::shifty eyes::), they discover that whoever hacked into it downloaded from her Godzilla files.
The sun rises and the UFO breaks free of it's constraints and the proceeds to rampage Tokyo (it's the hot place to destroy, baby!). As the sun sets again, the UFO goes dormant once again atop City Tower. Upon annalysis of the craft, they discover that it is sucking information from the computers, solving the mystery of Yuri's computer ("They must have a thing for hot girl-on-girl action, am I right?" Yuri still persistantly states).
Godzilla, like Rocky Balboa, is always ever so persistant for a rematch after going down once. He rises in Tokyo Bay and heads straight toward the UFO. Godzilla shows the POS alien junker that he has a little heat beam of his own and blows the thing to shit, but not before the UFO steals samples of Regenerator G-1 from Godzilla's body in order to create it's own monster.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's hot monster-on-monster action!
"I'm not a lesbian!" shouts Yuri. "I'm not an imbecile either! Get off my back!"
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