The World's Worst... General
by Paul Hooper
After our look at incompetence in the Air Forces of the world I think
it is time that we turned our attention to the Generals that command the
Army. Now I have two contenders for the the post of The Worlds Worst General.
With out a doubt the leading contender is Major General Ambrose Everett
Burnside of the Union Army during the American Civil War. No advantage
numerical or tactical, was so great that 'Burn' as he was affectionately
known, could not throw it away in seconds.
During the Battle of Antietam, Burnside had 12,000 troops at his disposal.
He overcame this advantage by ordering to march in single file across
an exposed bridge on which 24 confederate guns were trained! Only later
did he bother to find out that the water was only waist deep and could
have been forded without danger at any point!
Two years later Burn planned to dynamite a trench along which his men
could advance in safety into the middle of the Confederate Camp. As the
dust was clearing the infantry ran in only to find that they couldn't
climb out again at the other end. The Confederates were more than surprised
to find the whole enemy force trapped at their feet in a six foot pit.
On hearing of the manoeuvre President Lincoln said: "Only Burnside
could have managed such a coup, wringing one last spectacular defeat from
the jaws of victory."
Our second contender is also from the Americas. General Antonio Lopez
de Santa Anna fought during the Mexican-American War 1846-48. He lost
every battle he fought despite modelling himself closely on Napoleon.
At the age of twenty he attended lectures on Napoleon and for some years
adopted his hairstyle and dress. This despite the fact that that Napoleon
was short and fat and Santa Anna was tall, skinny and only had one leg!
Furthermore he lacked all of Napoleon's strategic gifts. In one inspired
' surprise attack' he dressed all his troops in enemy uniforms. The resultant
chaos was ended when half of Santa Anna's army was routed by the other
half and the rest were mopped up by the Americans for the loss of only
26 killed!
During skirmishes with the Texans in the 1830s, Santa Anna was taken
prisoner by them. In a move of tactical brilliance the Texans provided
him with a horse and sent him back to his own army! Nine months later
on 20th April 1836, showing the calmness of a great commander, he set
up camp at the San Jacinto River overlooking a wood where the Texans were
known to be hiding and ordered his troops to take a siesta. At 3.30pm
his whole army was wiped out or captured in only eighteen minutes! Santa
Anna himself was enjoying a deep and refreshing sleep from which he was
only roused by the marauding Texans. Realising that his entire army was
be routed, he didn't help matters by shouting " The enemy is upon
us!" and leaping on a horse he rode away!
Our third and final contender is also from the Americas. General John
Sedgewick spoke his last words at the Battle of Spotsylvania in 1864.
As he led his men out of the trenches he yelled: "Come on men, they
couldn't hit an elephant at this dist.................".
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