Hooked on nicotine, by Thea van Doorn. So when did I get hooked? Well it was a long time ago. I think I was about fourteen . I was working with a group of woman, Girls, my age and up, we sewed all day making clothing. Being together each and every day,we lunched together,and laughed together,we became good friends. Most of them where smokers. It being so very fashionable to smoke cigarettes, we all smoked and I was not going to be left behind. Every body that was a some-body smoked. There where advertisements all over town,you could not turn around or you would be reading how relaxing it was, how it would calm your nerves, and how educated and modern it was to smoke cigarettes. Being starved for reconition I wanted to be sophisticated, I wanted to belong and soon fell into the trap of having a cigarette with my lady friends. It made me feel so very grown up. I had never had a cigarette in my life, I had no money to buy them, so the hot stinking things, had to wait. I was the oldest of seven children and the money I was making went to my parents to help making ends meet. The very first time my friends offered to share a cigarette with me ,I accepted. It felt good to say ,"don't mind if I do", heck I was not going to admit I had never had a cigarette. I was totally surprised at the awful taste the cigarette had, I most certainly was not going to let them know that the cigarette had the most awful effect on me,so I made up a story of how I had the flu. When in reality it made me dizzy as a cat , I felt like barfing . I snorted and coughed until the mucus came out of my nose holes. This went on for a few weeks then finally one of the woman,who had been very generous by passing the cigarette on to me , said in a loud voice," It is time you start to pass some of your cigarette's around". I blushed and went into a quick lie about forgetting mine and would bring them along the next day. Tomorrow came to soon for me, I felt rather ashamed to admit I had never bought cigarrettes in my life. I had never even been inside a tabacco shop. Now I had to buy some smokes for the girls, in order to stay friends and to be in the gang. I had no money and I could not pretent again that I had forgotten. So come lunch time, I took myselves to the outdoors. I sat on the lawn with my brown bagged lunch , I did enjoy the sunshine, but oh, was it lonesome. I missed the woman ,the friendship ,the feeling of belonging ,the sharing. I cried a little as I wanted to be with the gang so badly, I did not want to feel this lonely ever again. Come the weekend I got my dollar pocket money. Wandering how much the cigarettes would cost, I stepped inside the tabocco shop. The clerk looked kind, of strange at me, she was not use to being asked how much for a small pack of cigarettes. I bought a pack and it cost me my whole dollar, but now I could go and give some back to the woman, I thought where my friends, and that made me feel better. I still thought I could drop the habbit just lIke that. I did not think that I was already hooked on nicotine or to put it in other words ,that I had a new boss in my life. No one ever told us how bad it was for your health or the effect it would have on the rest of your life. There where no warnings about health ,some would tell you it did not look to nice to see the smoke come out of your nose,no one cared about the smell and the stink and if they did they would not tell you. Today you do know about how bad it is for the lungs ,about the cancer and other health matters. You can't smoke in the theaters, hospitals, or restaurant,nor any business or shops. You will find No smoking signs every where you go. The best signs are the once that tell me ,THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING, they give me the feeling that it was my choice not to smoke. It would never occur to me to make you feel uncomfortable, just because I fell into the trap and the claws of nicotine. If I had know then what I do know now , I never would have paid the price, I might have been a loner but I would have been a healthy Loner. NO IT IS NOT COOL TO SMOKE, but please do not dictate to me about smoking. Why am I not quitting ? Not a fair question to me , silently I have tried and am still trying. Each time I fail, I have to admit that nicotine is my boss, it is a devil not easy to deal with. If you have not started yet ,then I will promise you this , I will pray, You never will, in return please pray for me that I will lick this nicotine habit and someday will be free of this devil. For those who did quit and manage to beat this habit, my praise and the pat on the back. I WISH I WAS IN YOUR SHOES,LET ME KNOW YOUR SECRET. |
| welcome to my story The Nicotine trap. |
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