| Disclaimer: I don�t own these characters, I don�t pretend to know all the ins and outs of Law & Order � I�ve just started watching it & I�m picking it up as I go. But the story & ideas are mine� please don�t sue! I W a n t L o v e A Jack/Nora story by Rhonda* �I want love, but it's impossible - A man like me, so irresponsible - A man like me is dead in places - Other men feel liberated. I can't love, shot full of holes - Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold - Don't feel nothing, just old scars - Toughening up around my heart. But I want love, just a different kind. I want love, won't break me down, won't brick me up, won't fence me in. I want a love, that don't mean a thing - That's the love I want, I want love. I want love on my own terms - After everything I've ever learned - Me, I carry too much baggage - Oh man I've seen so much traffic. But I want love, just a different kind. I want love, won't break me down, won't brick me up, won't fence me in. I want a love, that don't mean a thing. That's the love I want, I want love. So bring it on, I've been bruised - Don't give me love that's clean and smooth, I'm ready for the rougher stuff - No sweet romance, I've had enough.� Part Eleven � Travelling Wednesday 26th June Nora took one last look at the brochures in her hand; Paris, Naples, St. Tropez, and threw them in the bin. It didn�t look like a vacation would be on the cards this year at least not yet anyway. She looked around the apartment, how clean it all looked, everything perfect for once, and why, because they weren�t going to be there. Jack had spent the last fortnight calling old friends and acquaintances trying to find anyone who had some clue as to where Laura might be. One thing was for sure, she wasn�t in the city any longer, he�d spent every night for a week at that bar where he last saw her, jumping every time the door opened, but there was no sign, he didn�t expect there would be. In the end one of his old friends had come through telling him where Laura had last been seen, in Elmira. He�d made up his mind to take some well earned leave and drive over there, stopping at every motel and service station on the way if he had to. He had to know, living in limbo wasn�t a pleasant experience. But of course there was no way Nora would let him go alone, so she�d hastily booked two weeks vacation, besides she didn�t trust him driving that bike in a rage, something was bound to go wrong. They would take her car, she would drive, and he could be the map-reader. �Everything�s ready, I don�t why you had to take so many clothes anyhow.� �Two weeks is a long time to be living out of your car.� She closed the bedroom door and once again checked all the lights and power sockets were switched off. �Don�t worry it will still be here when you get back.� �I know, I�ll just miss things, I hate sleeping in strange beds.� �Even with me?� She laughed and picked up her bag and car keys. �How are you feeling?� �Ok, at the moment, nervous I suppose even a little excited.� �Me too. Jack even if she turns out not to be yours after all this, you won�t feel too bad will you?� �I guess I could just look at it as a vacation if things don�t turn out. Sorry we couldn�t go somewhere abroad.� �I never said anything about it.� �You think I didn�t notice the pile of brochures you were collecting, we�ll go soon I promise, your choice.� She smiled and kissed him taking his hand. �Shall we go then?� �After you.� He held open the door then securely locked it after them. * * * * * It felt good to be alive on a day like this, the sun was blazing, the sky was pure blue and there was a light breeze in the air. Jack was singing at the top of his voice to Frank Sinatra and they had the hood on the car down as the sped along through the deserted roads. �Sing along Nora come on, get into the spirit.� He nudged her before taking a drink of the water she had thought to bring. She laughed. �No, somebody might hear, I�m not much of a singer.� �Nora there�s nobody here, we�ll be lucky if we see another living person today, they�ll all be at the beach.� She laughed again. She knew he was only being this way to hide the nerves, she supposed it was easier to pretend they were simply on vacation rather than what could turn out to be a life changing event. �Oh alright, skip to track 11 though.� �Yes driver.� He obeyed and forwarded the C.D. She started singing along and realised he�d stopped and was staring at her. �Hey that�s not fair, I�m not singing alone. Making me look like a fool.� �I�m sorry alright.� He started the track again and tapped the beat out on the dashboard, �Come fly with me, let�s fly, let�s fly away�. He was so out of tune, in fact they both were, but it didn�t matter. �I hope there�s a service station soon I�m starving.� He shouted above the noise of the wind and music. �Me too, see if you can find anything on the map, if you succeed I�ll treat you to dinner.� He laughed. �Ooh warm sandwiches and fizzy drinks.� �That�s the joy of service stations isn�t it - don�t forget the candy.� He opened the map again and began frantically trying to find out where they were. * * * * * �So what, we�re lost, is that what you�re trying to tell me?� �Afraid so.� �You do know I only have two weeks leave right.� She smiled and leant back in her seat. �Ok, enough with the jokes, it�s too late to go anywhere else now, we�ll have to stop here.� �Hand me the map, you go book a room and I will find out where we are and plan us a route, that way we shouldn�t get too lost tomorrow right.� �You are quite perfect.� He leant forward to kiss her but she held her hand up. �Mmm, flattery won�t make me forgive your incompetence. But you can kiss me anyway.� �You�re a hard woman Ms. Lewin.� He kissed her. �I wish you wouldn�t call me that.� �It�s your name.� He laughed as he got out of the car. �It�s the way you say it, Ms. Like I�m a leper or something.� �Well what would you like me to call you? I could go all sweet and do the honey thing if you like.� He bent down at her door. �Or you know be cool and just call you woman like the kids do.� �Then I would have to kill you. Now go book the rooms� honey.� �I�m on it woman.� He called quickly walking away. Nora opened the map up and tried to work out why one page had a four at the top and the next one a sixteen. She smiled to herself, perhaps she should navigate tomorrow and Jack drive. She folded it back up and threw it on the other seat, she couldn�t believe it was still so hot. She rubbed the hair that stuck to her forehead and pulled down the mirror, she didn�t look fantastic. She attempted to make herself look a little more presentable and was searching in her bag for something for her lips when she noticed somebody watching her. It was a man. �Can I help you?� He came closer to her and bent down at the side of the car. �Are you alone ma�am? I can keep you company if you like.� �I�m fine thank you.� �Come on, let me buy you a drink.� �I don�t think that would be a good idea, I�m with someone.� She waved toward Jack coming back across the car park. �Ok, I�m sorry.� He stood up. �Shame though.� He walked away. �Are you alright, what he did want?� Jack asked opening the car door. �Oh nothing, just asked me for a drink that�s all.� She closed her bag and tried to shake off the feeling of uneasiness. �Did you get a room?� He nodded his head. �What�s that look for then?� �Well let�s just say it�s not the top class establishment you�re used to.� �I don�t care as long as they have running water, I desperately need a shower and somewhere to lie down, my back is killing me.� �I�ll get the bags.� * * * * * Nora felt much better, she�d had a nice long soak in the bath, was wrapped in her dressing gown that smelt distinctly of home and was munching on strawberries. She�d also taken the map to pieces and was now putting it back together properly. Jack emerged from the bathroom with a towel round his waist. �I feel so much better.� He collapsed onto the bed next to her. �What are you doing?� �Planning our route.� She looked sideways at him over her glasses. �So we don�t have any more mis-haps.� �Well we can�t all be good at everything can we.� �I�m only joking.� She squeezed his leg. �So where did you get the strawberries from?� �Cost me a fortune, it was the only thing I could find that looked fresh, apparently there�s a local farmer who brings them in.� �Well thank you they�re wonderful.� �Hmm I noticed you�re getting through them.� �I�m sorry, I forgot you.� She took off her glasses and twisted herself round to feed him. �Ok, open your mouth.� �Now there�s an offer I can�t refuse.� �Behave.� She fed him a strawberry. �Good aren�t they.� �Very nice.� He pulled her down and kissed her. �But that�s nicer. How�s your back?� �Aching.� �Would you like a massage?� �I�d love one.� They sat up, Nora in front of Jack resting her head against his chest and beginning to fall asleep as he gently rubbed her shoulders. �Nora, what if we don�t find her. We could visit every holiday inn here and still not find them, there�s no guarantee she hasn�t moved on.� �Still plenty of time left.� �I know but it seems strange, almost like we�re doing this for no reason. We have no real idea where we�re going or what we�re looking for, it seems so futile.� �Jack if you don�t want to do this I�ll understand. We can turn around tomorrow and go back and forget all about it. Only you and I need ever know.� �I�m not sure, I think I need to see it through.� �Then that�s what we�ll do. Like you said we�ll stop at every service station and bar along the roadside if we have to.� �Thank you, I don�t think I could do this without your support.� * * * * * Thursday 27th June It was raining when they woke and the air humid and dull. Jack was first up and made coffee with the menial facilities. He put Nora�s mug on the bedside table and stood by the window sipping his own. ��What time is it?� She groaned burying her head in the pillow. �Nearly nine. Looks like it�s going to be a miserable day; this place doesn�t look much better in the daylight.� �You�re not encouraging me to get out of bed.� �Sorry. How did you sleep?� �Terrible, I told you I hate strange beds. I noticed it didn�t bother you.� He sat on the edge of the bed. �Are you hungry yet?� �A little, I�ll have a shower and get ready.� �I might go for a walk.� �Ok, I�ll meet you downstairs for breakfast.� Jack drained the rest of his coffee and left and Nora dragged herself to get ready. Hopefully they�d stay on track today and visit the remaining holiday inns. She couldn�t imagine living like that, moving from place to place, and never having a real base. It was those very things she�d worked so hard for all her life; she loved her job and she worked damned hard at it. She enjoyed the comfort of her home, the restaurants she could afford to eat at, the clothes she could buy. Perhaps some saw it as being materialistic but why shouldn�t she have those things she�d worked for them. It wasn�t as if she didn�t care about anything but possessions; she cared deeply about her family, missed them most of the time especially her niece Emily. She spent time with her friends, listened to them but most of all tried to appreciate what they brought to her life. She supported campaigns, gave money to charity. She loved Christmas and birthdays and believed in big celebrations. So this was what her life consisted of, she had no right to judge how Laura or anybody else lived theirs, but she was only human and she couldn�t help but wonder how anybody could be happy, truly happy, with no kind of stability in their lives. But then she knew nothing about this woman, Jack hadn�t told her much. They�d dated for a while and then suddenly she�d ended it and disappeared � the reason why seemed more than apparent now. * * * * * Nora didn�t usually drink tea, but this morning she�d felt like a change, Jack had still not returned and she was sat alone reading the morning papers waiting. The noise of the busy inn was somewhat comforting when you were sitting alone. �Morning gorgeous.� She looked up to see the man from the night before and shook her head. �You don�t give up easily do you.� �Not when I see somebody like you.� �Do you take charm lessons by any chance?� She folded the paper up and took another drink of her tea. He smiled; she had to admit he was attractive, fairly young � possibly in his thirties, thick black hair, dark eyes and from what she could make out a good body. She allowed herself the distraction for a minute and then sat up straight and formal to put him off. But he only leant across the table to her. �So tell me, that guy you were with last night is he just a friend or more.� �More, so you really should go.� �I see no wedding ring, no engagement � which means to me that you�re still available.� �Well what if I told you I�m not?� �Then I�d either leave or hang around until you agree to have a drink with me.� Despite herself Nora smiled and looked down at her folded hands embarassed. �Look I�m very flattered.� �Ah, that means I stand a chance.� He was smiling at her again, a hint of danger in his eyes, there was a time she would have accepted his offer, he was certainly charming and persistent. Was she flirting with him? She averted her eyes and watched the waitress pouring coffee and thought of Jack and oranges and closed her eyes. �Look I�m sorry I can�t. Please, just�no.� �Ok I�m sorry I don�t want to cause any trouble.� He stood up. �But hey if you ever find yourself single again � remember where I work.� She smiled to herself as he walked away, he worked there how strange, she forgot people must run these places, living on a highway. �If you�re ever single again� goodness it seemed like years since she�d lived alone, ate alone, slept alone � she missed him now if he was out with friends for the night or working late and slept in his office. How strange to become so attached to somebody in such a short space of time. Perhaps that�s what happened when you got older, you found love and you grabbed it and rushed through it in case it went away too quickly and you found it was your last time. But now going through all this with him had slowed it down, freeze framed it if you like and for the first time she�d really begun to think about what it meant to be with him. And she�d come to the conclusion that there really was nothing more important in her life, nothing more valuable than knowing you were loved. * * * * * Nora leant on the doorframe and watched Jack soaking in the bath; he looked like he was sleeping, his breathing was deep and even and she could see his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Yet she knew he wasn�t ok, there was a sense of disappointment in the air. They�d visited every holiday inn and bar they could find and still no sign of Laura and he�d been silent since she suggested they stop for the night and travel back tomorrow. Gone was his bravado; his singing in the car and continuos jokes. She�d not mentioned the man from breakfast, she didn�t think there was too much of a point, he was too preoccupied anyway. She crept away from the door and pulled on a cardigan to go downstairs. There was a small shop attached to the Inn and she bought two bottles of wine, chocolate and some playing cards; it was going to be a long evening. When back in the room she found out some mugs and filled two and took them into the bathroom, Jack hadn�t moved an inch. �Here � it�s not a vintage but it�s wet and alcoholic.� �Thanks.� He tried to smile but it was weak. �Sorry I�m so miserable.� �Hey don�t worry, I know why remember.� She moved to go back to the bedroom. �Don�t leave, stay and talk to me for a while.� �Alright.� Nora fetched a chair from the bedroom and sat next to him. He took her hand and squeezed it. �Thanks for being here.� �I haven�t done much.� �It�s been enough.� She picked up the box of chocolates from the floor and offered him one and this time he really did smile. �You know me too well.� �I bought cards too, thought we could have a game or two later.� He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it seemingly studying the texture of her skin with his thumb. �Would you like a bath?� �I might after you�ve finished.� �No I meant with me.� �With you?� She laughed. �You really think we�ll both fit in there?� �We can try.� He sat up and made a grab for her waist. She jumped up. �Hey, at least let me get undressed first.� * * * * * They were lying in bed; Nora�s head resting on his chest as his hands stroked over her arms. They�d left the blinds open and now the storm had cleared the night sky was clear and they could just make out the stars from where they lay. �I suppose in some way I wanted to find her so I could have the chance to be a Father again. You were right when you said Kate and I were distant; we are, too distant. Plus I feel guilty; if she is mine then I should be helping to support her, I don�t even know her name.� �I know.� �Have you never wondered what it would be like to have children?� �Wondered yes. But when I was younger I always thought I�d be married when I had children. And then as I got older and my work took over I just gave up on marriage and children with it.� �I suppose most of us hope for that, the perfect family life. Doesn�t always work out though.� �You can be so naive when your young, I always thought it was only the young who fell in love but now finding you and feeling like this at my age, when its so unexpected.� �But welcomed.� �Very welcome; I keep thinking something has to go wrong, surely I can�t have a job I love and you and be this happy without there being a catch.� He kissed her head. �I suggest we just enjoy it and face any problems as they arise, and tomorrow we go home and get back to normal.� �Are you sure? You�re ready.� �I�m not giving up, not entirely, but it�s not fair to drag you round here and put our lives on hold just aimlessly searching. We�ll go home first thing in the morning.� * * * * * Part 10 Stories Part 12 |