The Making Fun of My Friends Section
Step 1: Download the song Growing on Me by the Darkness
Step 2: Listen to it and imagine that it is referencing the way Jeff feels about Mary-Margaret.
Step 3: Listen to it and realize that they are singing about an STD
Step 4: Realize it is amazing how well it works either way.
Okay, that's it. I have decided to institute an moratorium on making fun of that relationship. But just like their moratoriums, it probably won't last until lunch.
Sorry, needed one for the road. I think I need new things to make fun of my friends for. But just for old times sake, let's reference some of the old standbys one last time (this is also part-shorthand for the Beer Hunt Column):
Alex
4-16-04 - The Tonkawa Incident
4-15-04 - Sarah's Guest Column
4-14-04 - Luke's Guest Column
4-13-04 - Easter Beer Hunt
4-12-04 - Susan, Kevin, & Michelle
4-11-04 - Alex's Relationship Levels
4-8-04 - Top 5s
Archives
1) Accordian - Madvillain
2) Mad World - Gary Jules
3) Ever Fallen in Love - The Buzzcocks
4) I'm Good Now - Bob Schneider
5) Beautiful Girl - Pete Droge
6) Hey - The Pixies
7) Cry to Me - Solomon Burke
8) The Killing Moon - Echo and the Bunnymen
9) Jellybones - The Unicorns
10) The Good Old Days - The Eels
his Jewishness
his predilection towards young girls
his cockiness
Blake
Drunk Blake
The fact that he's the best closer since Rollie Fingers
The fact that there is very little to make fun of about Blake
The fact that he is still neurotic despite the fact that there is very little to make fun of about him
Hari
his height
The fact that he is the best closer since Antonio Alfonseca
The fact that he compliments girls so much that the rest of us look bad
BelligiFez
Jeff
MMM
His lack of any memory when he drinks
His fondness for girly drinks
The fact that he can be a slut
Kev
His dry spell
His one-track mind
The fact that I have dated his sister...twice.
The fact that he always looks for a life lesson in every little event (actually kinda endearing)
Rob
His fidelity
The fact that he was the "Jeff of Durango"
The fact that girls find him irresistible
Even though he can be painfully unfunny
The Making Fun of Myself Section
So with those laid out there for the last time (I have some land I want to sell you), here are the Top 15 things to make fun of me about.:
1) I have small penis. If I were in Boston, they'd call it "wicked smahhh"
2) I used to own a pink Hypercolor shirt and two brightly colored silk shirts. They were in rotation.
3) I'm losing my hair. I'm thinking we are about a year away from the final head shave.
4) I owned a New Kids tape in fourth grade.
5) And now I'm a music snob. Methinks I doth protest too much..
6) The whole bed-wetting incident. Always a fun story for all.
7) I have a weakness towards exes. I think my last non-ex hook-up was in June 2003.
8) I'm a fattie. I need to work on that one...
9) I'm a vegetarian...and a boy. Lotta people think those two don't go together.
10) I have no real career path. Sure I'm in law school, but you guys don't really think I'm serious about that, do you?
11) I have a lisp. New female acquanintences often assume I'm gay.
12) I'm hairy. Some of are less far along in the evolution process
13) Mardi Gras, 2001. Thanks again Blake, Rob, and Liz. Doubt I've repaid that debt yet.
14) I'm a crappy friend. Sure, I'm there if its important or you really need me in a pinch. But if not, I'll sell you out in a very public way
15) I write a web column. Have you ever met a single cool person who does that?
