an ode to no one/writing/untitled 01

you held the door and i could have smiled
i should have smiled
i could say that you came back for me, just to see me
when we looked at eachother, i lied and said there was something
i know you know about me

i'd like to have a deep conversation with you
and use words i'd have to look up in the dictionary first
and impress you with my non-existent wit
and show you all the things i should have painted

i remember this feeling, stretched from the inside out
i am a girl, and i am in doubt
i should have smiled

it was awkward enough, with the wind in my face
and my hair flying everywhere
and i was embarrassed enough

i should have smiled
and savoured the moment

but i'll remember the look on your face
when you should have said something
like a person at a bus station, 'how about that weather', you'd say
and if i were a different person, i'd say 'gorgeous, isn't it'
and if i was somebody else, i would have smiled

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