Saturday, Oct. 4, 2003

         I was very tired and ill with the world today.  I still went to "tailgate" with the gang.  It was kind of sad seeing everyone else drink and smoke and have a rippin' good time.  I felt like a doofus.  But I knew it would be absurd and stupid to do anything to harm the embryo inside---I don't think I can call it a fetus for several more weeks.  I'm about to jump out of my skin to see a real doctor who can tell me for sure if I'm pregnant or not, even though the sticks said I was....I took another test this morning---remember the digital one that said, "SEE LEAFLET" yesterday?  Today it said PREGNANT.  So that was cool.  See, this is the pregnancy test for dumb people---at least dumb people who can READ. :)  I'm surprised it didn't say, press one for Espanol, like an ATM.
          I think I may have freaked my husband out a bit by shedding some tears today---it was just out of being scared and tired...
            Anyway. That was today. I think it's all "hitting home" that our lives are about to change, and no matter how much we dearly dearly want this child, it's FRIGHTENING!
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