::[ SATURDAY NIGHT RUMBLE ]::

Saturday, April 21st, 2001
Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

::[The Playboy bunny logo appears on the screen. It shinks into a small logo in the lower right hand corner of the screen. We see a shot of Max Danger's office door, with the gold name plate. We cut inside where Misfit is seen sitting in a chair across from Danger, who's behind a large oak desk. They are discussing something which cannot be heard. Each man then smiles, and stand up. Misfit hands Max an envelope, and he opens it up. You can see the green of the money. He smiles, then opens a drawer and pulls out a piece of paper. He hands it over to Misfit, who has a huge evil grin on his face. They nod to each other as Misfit walks out of the office.]::

::[We fade to black and the Saturday Night Rumble logo. The opening video starts up and the fans watching on television all around the world are getting pumped... hopefully. As the video comes to an end, we open inside a dark arena. Suddenly fireworks go off in every direction and the Rumble theme music blasts throughout the arena. The fireworks display lasts several seconds longer. When it comes to an end, the lights come, and every last paying customer is on their feet. They hold up their signs, and scream at the top of their lungs. The cameras start to pan the crowd, showing a sea of signs. None of which are original or funny. So we just focus on on the big chest on a blonde in the fifth row. Nice. We stay there until she lifts up her top, revealing her massive melons for all to see. The crowd goes apeshit over it when we cut over to our stunned announcers.]::

Randy Boggs: Oh... my... GOD!

King Royce: Jesus! That was awesome!

Randy Boggs: It's like being at a N'Sync concert!

King Royce: Wha!?

Randy Boggs: Nothing. Hello fans, welcome to Saturday Night Rumble on the Playboy Channel! We are coming to you live from the Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin! I am Randy Boggs and joining me again this week, as he does every week, is King Royce.

King Royce: Whoo! That was the ONLY hot chick in Milwaukee, and we got to see her gigantic tits!

Randy Boggs: Whoa! You can't say tits!

King Royce: It's the damn Playboy Channel, Randy. We can bring out nude Playboy Playmates if we damn well please. Ya know what? I think we should do that every frickin' week! That would be so awesome.

Randy Boggs: Yes it would, but this is a wrestling promotion and a wrestling show. We aren't about tits and ass.

::[Just then two lines of beautiful women walk out on the the stage and ramp and start to dance for the fans.]::

King Royce: Explain that.

Randy Boggs: Uh, they are just... uh, here to warm the crowd up.

King Royce: Ok, and now image them topless.

Randy Boggs: Ok.

King Royce: The crowd would really be warmed up then!

Randy Boggs: Uh, yes they would.

King Royce: Cover your crotch up man, I don't need to see that.

Randy Boggs: Oh, sorry.

::[Randy grabs his cowboy hat(!?) and places it over his crotch.]::

King Royce: Where the hell did you get that cowboy hat?

Randy Boggs: The western store.

King Royce: Why?

Randy Boggs: Because WWF's Raw is currently the highest rating cable show and the WWF is the world's most popular promotion, right?

King Royce: Yeah, so?

Randy Boggs: Well, Jim Ross wears a cowboy hat during his broadcasts.

King Royce: So you think their popularity is because he wears a cowboy hat?

Randy Boggs: Exactly.

King Royce: And you are what we would call a moron.

Randy Boggs: That's what you think. I've just been told that right now more people are watching than ever!

::[Randy turns to King, who is now doning his own cowboy hat.]::

King Royce: I always knew it was the hat!

Randy Boggs: Well, that and we have half-naked women. But in any event, we have a great show lined up for you folks. Bronx will once again put his Television Title on the line, this time against Ricky Hunter.

King Royce: Bronx has been on a roll since winning the title from the other Hunter, Chris, and doesn't look to be slowed down anytime soon. I'm going with Bronx to retain the title.

Randy Boggs: That's a good possibility. In other action, Devilz Darkside will defend the Tag Team Titles against number one contenders, South of the Border. And the special guest referee will be Kensi Hibiki, while his partner, Jubei Iwakura will be the Special Enforcer.

King Royce: Things don't look good for Devilz Darkside. Japan Air is going to try and screw 'em, I know it.

Randy Boggs: Yeah, just like they STOLE Kensi's half of the titles when he got injured.

King Royce: Don't have a clue what you're talking about.

Randy Boggs: Didn't think so, that's why I prepared this footage.

::[Actual footage of Kensi being injured at the hands of Devilz Darkside are shown. Then them claiming the titles for their own.]::

King Royce: Doesn't prove a damn thing.

Randy Boggs: Huh? You just saw it with your own two eyes what went down!

King Royce: Riiight, and how do I know you didn't doctor this footage?

Randy Boggs: What would I gain from doing that?

King Royce: Fame at the expense of Devilz Darkside, the GREATEST tag team in GFWA history. Fuck Japan Air. Fuck Seattle Sound. Fuck Team Sunkist. Devilz Darkside is where it's at.

Randy Boggs: Team Sunkist? They never won a match!

King Royce: On the contrary, Mr. Piss-Pants. They won at a house show before debuting in the GFWA.

Randy Boggs: Who'd they beat?

King Royce: Jose' Jose' and Dave Dixon, ya know "Dollar Short".

Randy Boggs: If Max and Simeon DIDN'T beat those guys I'd be ashamed.

King Royce: Are you saying the GFWA's greatest jobbers sucked?

Randy Boggs: Uh, yeah, they were jobbers ya know?

King Royce: Good point. Speaking of jobbers... uh... yeah.

Randy Boggs: Smooth transition jackass.

King Royce: Fuck you!

Randy Boggs: Speaking of fucking, Jason Corlett...

King Royce: You fucked Jason Corlett?

Randy Boggs: If you'd let me finish, please.

King Royce: Sorry, go on.

Randy Boggs: Jason Corlett has fucked over Mayhem, Inc. after departing the group last week, and this week takes on Chaos of Mayhem, Inc. in an extreme rules matchup. Looks to be interesting.

King Royce: That transition was a stretch, but I'll give it to ya. Yeah, Corlett and Chaos won't be pretty... I guess.

Randy Boggs: And the Omega Champion, Syn, teams up with rival Ricky Green to take on rivals J.J. $tudd and Star Struck.

King Royce: Wow! Splendid! I can't wait! I'm going to take a nap.

Randy Boggs: Uh.... okay, but you'll miss some of the best athletes tonight.

King Royce: Just wake me when the hot bitches get out here.

Randy Boggs: They've been out here for nearly ten minutes!

King Royce: Oh yeah!

Randy Boggs: Dumbass. And in tonight's main event, Payne, The Crow, Johnny Street, and Lou Nattik battle in a four-way with Kan as the special guest referee.

King Royce: Street all the way.

Randy Boggs: The Jr. Champion does look on the verge of something big, especially with his alignment with Vice President, Jostrodomus.

King Royce: Speaking of alignment, what is up with Misfit and Max Danger exchanging money and paper? How as that, eh?

Randy Boggs: Not bad. But I dunno what's up with that. The Evil Genius Misfit has been looking at Mayhem, Inc, and looking to improve it. Maybe this was the first step in doing that.

King Royce: Maybe. Plus, he's been missing personal appearances and such all week. He's got something planned, and it's probably something big.

Randy Boggs: Well shall see in time.

::[The cameras shift backstage where we see Jessica Barrett-Dox walk up to Star Struck, with her back to the camera.]::

Jessica: Hello Star Struck.

Star Struck: Hello Ms Barrett-Dox. How radiant you look to day.

Jessica: Thank you. Flattery will get you everywhere. Congratulations for a job well done in kidnapping that imposter bitch who thinks she’s me.

Star Struck: No problem.

Jessica: I think you should be rewarded. But there is one last task before you will be.

Star Struck: What’s that?

Jessica: I’ve heard word that Ricky Green is waiting on someone in the parking lot. If you take him out, then I’ll give you a title shot.

Star Struck: Yeah?

Jessica: Yeah.

Star Struck: Wicked. What title?

Jessica: I’ve not decided yet. I’ll think about it while you get to work.

Star Struck: Cool.

::[Star Struck walks off as the camera fades back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: Looks like Star Struck is back to doing the dirty work for Danger and Jessica.

King Royce: Could be worse jobs. I mean, he is getting paid a hell of a lot of money.

Randy Boggs: True, but after awhile he'll have everyone after him. Danger won't be to blame for anything.

King Royce: And that's what makes him such a great business man.

Randy Boggs: I guess you're right.

King Royce: I know I'm right.

::[The Camera cuts backstage to where Ronnie Johnson is standing by.  "Mr. Extreme" Jason Corlett walks by and is about to walk straight to his locker room when Ronnie stops him.]::

Ronnie Johnson:  Mr. Corlett, I was wandering if I could get a few words with you?

Jason Corlett:  Yeah sure man but make it snappy, I have something to do.

Ronnie Johnson:  Ok sure thing.  First off I want to know your opinion about the Mayhem Inc. and Tru Godds Inc. feud?

Jason Corlett:  Well I already addressed this in my promo last night.  But I will say it again.  I was only against Bronx and the TGI's because I was in Mayhem Inc.  Right now I'm hoping to side step the feud and let them fight it out.  I have my eyes set on other things.  After I take Chaos out tonight, I have one more member of Mayhem Inc. I need to deal with.

Ronnie Johnson:  Well, since your on that topic who is that other member?

Jason Corlett:  No offense Ronnie, but your a dumbass.  It's Misfit, if you haven't noticed he's the extreme champ, and I'm the number one contender.  The Extreme Title has my name on it and I plan on taking it from Misfit.  So after I take out Chaos tonight, I want Misfit at Wrestleclash.

Ronnie Johnson:  WRESTLECLASH?!?!

Jason Corlett:  Yes dumbass, Wrestleclash.  I'm hoping ot make it my GFWA PPV debut and since I'm debuting, why not make it for the extreme title I deserve. You see Ronnie I am already the most extreme individual on this planet, therefore I am the extreme champion already in that sense.  The only thing I need is the gold to prove it.  Misfit if you have the balls, then step up to the plate, I'll get a title shot eventually, if you turn down the challenge your just delaying your fate.

Ronnie Johnson:  One more question if I may, you seem confident about your match tonight with Chaos, don't you think you may need to concentrate a little more on this huge monster?

Jason Corlett:  Shut up dumbass.  Chaos isn't as good as he looks, he strikes fear into a opponents and if your scared then you will lose.  Thats how he wins. But me Ronnie, I'm not scared of the oversized fairy, I'm going into the ring tonight and whooping his ass all over the Bradley Center!

Jason Corlett:  One more thing before I leave, Mr. Danger, I'm not sure if you heard me last night in my promo but let me make the offer again.  If you ever need someone taken out, call on "Mr. Extreme," because the only way to take someone out for good, is to take it to the F*CKING EXTREME!  And Max, I am the only man in GFWA who can do that.

Ronnie Johnson: (as Jason walks away)  There you have it folks, the words from "Mr. Extreme" himself, challenging Misfit and offering his assistance to Max Danger!

::[RJ looks around and sees The Butcher. He turns towards him asking for an interview, but The Butcher runs away. RJ stops and scratches his head.]::

Ronnie Johnson: Guess he didn't see me. Oh well... Hey! There's a member of a ring crew! I'll see what he's got to say!

::[RJ takes off towards the ring crew guy, who looks horrified. RJ starts to ask the man a question when the scene shifts back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: Poor RJ, even the ring crew doesn't want to talk to him.

King Royce: Hope he hasn't purchased a house or anything, because with Denise Lopez back, we don't need him anymore.

Randy Boggs: Oh, I'm sure Max can find something for him to do.

King Royce: Yeah, like wash his wife's dirty underwear! Haha!

Randy Boggs: I though she didn't wear underwear?

King Royce: Oh, that's right. And here comes the hard-on... NOW!

Randy Boggs: You sick bastard. Use your cowboy hat to cover it up.

King Royce: No, use yours!

Randy Boggs: That was a retarded comeback.

King Royce: I know you are, but what am I?

Randy Boggs: A dumbass.

King Royce: Shut up, Richard.

Randy Boggs: So is this "Quote Movies" day?

King Royce: I guess. I've got Pee Wee and Tommy Boy out so far, I think, maybe more.

Randy Boggs: I'm sure there will be more. Maybe you'll spout off a couple during our opening match!

angelica dawson VERSUS shawn springs
... regular rules match ...

::[The crowd starts to get their signs ready, because they know the camera will absolutely show their sign for ten seconds on the G-Tron. "Danger" by Mystikal blasts through the arena speakers and the crowd comes to their feet. They start to boo Angelica as she walks through the curtains. Ok, so it's the women who boo and the men who whistle and shout for her to take it off. Angelica gets to the bottom of the ramp, when a man reaches over the railing and cops a feel. Angelica pulls the man over the railing, and punches him in the nose, then knees him in the groin. She pushes him back against the railing before sliding into the ring. "Danger" fades out as Angelica stands in the corner.]::

Randy Boggs: Angelica looks ready to go, King.

King Royce: Did you see her knee that man in the groin?

Randy Boggs: Brutal, eh?

King Royce: No, he's one lucky son of a bitch!

Randy Boggs: Uh, right.

::[Angelica paces around the ring when "Cold As Ice" by M.O.P. starts to play. Through the curtains walks Shawn Springs. The response isn't positive, as the fans boo him. More so than they did Angelica, but that's only because the men loved Angelica. Everyone hates Shawn. Or do they? Maybe they are playing hard to get? Uh.... no, they hate him. Shawn stops by the injured man at ringside, and kicks him in the nads too, but not getting much of a reaction. It's just cooler coming from a female. ANYWAY, Shawn jumps onto the ring apron, and poses. He jumps over the top rope, and meets Angelica in the center of the ring as "Cold As Ice" fades out, and the ref signals for the bell to star this match.]::

Randy Boggs: Shawn Springs and Angelica are staring deeply into each other's eyes.

King Royce: But they aren't in love, they just want to beat each other senseless... unless they are in love.

Randy Boggs: I wouldn't think so, but stranger things have happened.

King Royce: Yeah, you did get laid that one time. I guess goats count, right?

::[Enough of that nonsense. Angelica and Shawn lock up in the center of the ring. Shawn backs Angelica into the corner. The ref gets between them, and Angelica punches Shawn in the jaw! Shawn comes back with his own, but Angelica ducks. Angelica stomps away at Shawn in the corner. Angelica whips Shawn from the corner and across the ring. Angelica follows Shawn in. Shawn stops himself from going into the corner, and back elbows Angelica. She goes down, and Shawn grabs her legs. Slingshot by Shawn and Angelica hits the top turnbuckle hard. Shawn with a hand full of ass and pulls Angelica over for the pin attempt. 1.... kick out!]::

Randy Boggs: Not enough to beat this cagey woman!

King Royce: Right, I'm just watching to see if she pops out of that top!

Randy Boggs: And who hasn't been laid in awhile?

King Royce: Yeah, yeah, I need to good one night stand. You think Angelica's available?

Randy Boggs: Only one way to find out.

King Royce: Yeah, go ask her.

::[As they continue to talk, the match goes on in the ring. Shawn is delivering some hard, hard knife-edged chops to Angelica, as the fans "Whoo!" after each stiff shot. Shawn lifts Angelica to the top turnbuckle. He sets up for and nails the superplex! Shawn floats over for the pinfall, but Angelica hooks his legs! 1.... 2.. kick out! Shawn was almost pinned. Shawn jumps up, and knocks Angelica back down with a clothesline. Shawn lifts Angelica to her feet and hits a vertical suplex! 1.... 2.. kick out! Shawn brings Angelica to her feet again, and whips her into the corner. Shawn charges in, but misses the splash. He stumbles from the corner, and Angelica hits a bulldog! 1.... 2... kick out!]::

Randy Boggs: Angelica with a bulldog to regain control.

King Royce: I'd love for her to be in control of me.

::[Angelica with the side headlock on Shawn. He pushes her off to the ropes. Shoulder block takedown by Shawn. Shawn to the ropes, and steps over Angelica. Leap frog attempt by Angelica is countered with a powerbomb by Shawn! Shawn lifts Angelica back up and hits a sitdown powerbomb! 1.... 2..... kick out! Shawn picks up Angelica and takes her down with a side russian leg sweep! Shawn jumps to the middle turnbuckle. He drives his elbow into her throat! 1... 2... kick out!! Camel Clutch applied by Shawn!]::

Randy Boggs: Some nearfalls for Springs, but he hasn't been able to put away Angelica yet.

King Royce: But this Steiner Recl... I mean, camel clutch will put her away!

Randy Boggs: I thought for sure we'd have Scott after us. Good save.

King Royce: Thanks.

::[Shawn has this locked on real tight, when the fans start to boo heavily. Shawn is confused until he looks at the entrance way. Walking towards the ring is the Evil Genius, Misfit. Misfit is halfway down the ramp, when Shawn releases the hold. He walks over to the ropes and starts to shout at Misfit, who's basically ignoring him. Misfit stops by the still injured man, and helps him to his feet. The man thanks Misfit, then gets a hard elbow in his nuts! The man doubles over and Misfit rams his head into the guardrail! Shawn is still yelling at Misfit, when Angelica crawls over. School-boy rollup by Angelica! 1..... 2...... 3!! Shawn kicks out, but it's too late!]::

Randy Boggs: Angelica Dawson wins with the ole school-boy!

King Royce: She had a hand full of Springs' little Springs'... or something. SHE WON!

Randy Boggs: That hat is doing something to you.

King Royce: Probably so, but it equals ratings, so I don't care!

::["Danger" only plays for a few seconds when Misfit climbs into the ring. He grabs a mic from some old man who carries around mics for everybody. No one knows where he came from or why he's there. Everyone is afraid to ask, so they just let him be. Anyway, Misfit walks to the center of the ring, when he spots Shawn Springs standing in the corner. He looks ready to attack, but Misfit just holds his hand out. The fans instantly start to boo, and yell for Springs to not shake his hand.]::

Randy Boggs: A handshake!? What is this, sportsmanship!

King Royce: Hell know! We can't have any of that shit here!

Randy Boggs: I think it should be against the rules!

::[Spings looks around at the fans, who already know what he's going to do, despite their protests, so they just look elsewhere, hoping for another flasher. They get no such thing, as Springs reluctantly shakes Misfit's hand. Misfit then pulls away and holds the mic to his mouth.]::

Misfit: Don't worry about the lose, Shawn. Everyone loses sometimes. You'll win some in due time. But speaking of losers, Jason Corlett has the nerve to challenge me? Ha! That's just laughable, Jason. What makes you think you are on my level? I am the GFWA Extreme Champion. What are you? Nothing! But you were once something, and could someday be something. But since you took the intiative to leave Mayhem, Inc. you have done nothing but sign your own death warrant! Mayhem, Inc. is now better off without you though. We will no longer we known as the stable filled with former Deuce stars. The only ones left in the group are the ones who deserve to be. Our weakest links, Gods and Monsters and Jason Corlett, are gone, and we have a few open positions. Now, don't think that just anyone can be a member of Mayhem, Inc. No, they have to have something special. They have to offer us something no one else can. And one of those men is Shawn Springs.

::[Shawn looks stunned, and yet delighted.]::

Misfit: But Shawn, you will have to prove yourself in due time. But first... Angelica, take him back to meet with the rest of the group. Knight and Chaos are waiting in the locker room.

::["Proposition Fuck You" by Methods of Mayhem kicks up, as the boos are loud. Misfit drops the mic and stares out at the fans booing him and throwing things at him. A few even fart in his general direction. Angelica and Shawn jump out of the ring and head up the ramp. Misfit gets one leg through the ropes, before stopping. He gets back into the ring and picks the mic back up as we fade to commercial.]::

***** COMMERCIAL BREAK *****

::[We fade back from commercial, with Star Stuck wondering around the parking lot looking for Ricky Green. He is getting agitated, and even starts to call out his name. He walks into the shadows, where he gets jumped on. Two men deliver numerous punches and kicks, which sends Star Struck sprawling to the floor. They pick him up, and whip him into a car, back in the light and setting off the car’s alarm. The two men emerge and they are… THE JOLLY POTTER AND NEOPHYTOU!]::

Randy Boggs: Jolly Potter and Neophytou are here, King!

King Royce: Arrest them! They are trespassing! Danger fired them last week!

Randy Boggs: He told them to come, though, remember?

King Royce: Nope.

::[They grab hold of him and do a double suplex on the concrete. Star Struck slowly and groggily gets back up. Neo, as quick as a flash nails The Blur, which sends him sprawling onto the hood of the car. Potter climbs up, and nails a Clayhead, denting the car and Star Struck’s head. Abigail Doyle and the fake Jessica emerge from the shadows. Potter and Neophytou hold a barely conscious Star Struck, and the fake Jessica gives him an almighty slap that echos throughout the parking lot.]::

Fake Jessica: That’s for kidnapping me you worthless puppet. All Jessica has to do is click her fingers, well I just proved that two can play that game. You mess with us again and what you get will be ten times worse.

::[Potter parts by throwing him through the windshield, causing Star Struck to bleed profusely.]::

Jolly Potter: And that’s The Potter Promise you jackass! Come on, we’ve got a meeting with Danger and Wide-Box.

Abigail Doyle: You know in Bridget Jones’s Diary where Bridget quits and tells her boss she’d rather work wiping Saddam Hussein’s arse?

Jolly Potter: Yeah..?

Abigail: I think we should say something similar…

Jolly Potter: Abi, we’ve already been fired. We can’t quit.

Abigail: Not if we’re reinstated.

Jolly Potter: No, if we’re reinstated revenge will be far sweeter if we stay than to tell him we’d rather kiss Adolf Hitler’s arse.

::[We in no way condone kissing Hitler's arse.. I mean ass, I'm American damn it! Back to the show!]::

Fake Jessica: And that’s saying something.

Jolly Potter: Come on, let’s find out what fate has in store for us…

::[The group walk off in the direction of the arena as the scene shifts back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: I don't think Danger is going to be too happy with what went down, King.

King Royce: No, really? I figured he'd love Star Struck being beat shitless by Potter and Neo. I mean... just fuck it, Danger is NOT going to be pleased.

Randy Boggs: Darn tootin'!

King Royce: *just ignores Randy's comment* Remember when we used to have cool commercials?

Randy Boggs: Yeah.

King Royce: What happened to those?

Randy Boggs: Probably the same thing that happened to the Dodo... they became extinct.

King Royce: Well, we should bring those back. They were at least something the fans could look forward to on our shows.

Randy Boggs: You aren't a very positive guy, are you?

King Royce: When you haven't had sex in seven years and just hate life in general, you aren't going to be very positive, ya know?

Randy Boggs: Sorry I asked.

King Royce: You should be, now I'm just more depressed.

Randy Boggs: Well, maybe Misfit can cheer you up, because he's been standing and waiting in the ring for awhile now and looks to have more to say.

::[That he does, as he lifts the mic up to his mouth and begins to speak. Nothing is heard. He tosses the mic aside and curses. That old man jumps into the ring and hands Misfit another mic. Misfit tips the man a twenty, and turns his attention back to the loud boos of the fans.]::

Misfit: I figured since I was out here, I might as well do everything at once. So, Jason Corlett, get your ass out here now! We aren't going through all that counting or I'll come back there and get you, or any of that other time-wasting shit. Just get the fuck out here, because I'm not leaving until you do!

::["Alkaholik" by Xzibit kicks up just as soon as Misfit finishes his sentence. Through the curtains walks Jason Corlett, who gets a pretty damn good sized pop from the crowd. He stops at the top of the ramp.]::

Misfit: Get your ass in this ring!

::[Jason shakes his head no, and stands with his arms crossed looking down at Misfit.]::

Misfit: Very well.

::[Misfit pulls out a piece of paper from his back pocket.]::

Misfit: You see this, Jason. This is your contract. This is what I bought off of Danger earlier today. I now OWN you! Danger doesn't own you, the GFWA doesn't own you... Mayhem, Inc. and I do! That means whatever I says goes! So get your ass in this ring, because your match is next! Chaos, come on down and beat this bastard within an inch of his life!

::[Jason Corlett starts down the ramp when "Voodoo Child" by Jimi Hendrix hits. Chaos walks thorugh the curtains, but he's not alone. Behind him are Knight, Angelica, and Shawn Springs. They rush at Jason, who stops and stands against the rush. He fights off Angelica and Springs, but it overtaken by Knight and Chaos. They ram him up against the guardrail, and double suplex him on the ramp. They all four take turns stomping, punching, and just out-right kicking his ass on the outside. Finally they roll him into the ring and at the feet of Misfit.]::

Misfit: We need a ref out here... NOW!

::[Out runs a ref, who signals for the bell as he rushes down the ramp.]::

chaos VERSUS jason corlett
... extreme rules match ...

::[The ref slides into the ring, as the four men continue to assault Jason, even pulling out a chair and beating him senseless. They lift Jason up in the corner, and he starts to make a comeback. He knocks Springs down, then Angelica. A low blow takes care of Knight! Nailed[spear] by Chaos knocks Jason out of his boots! Chaos lifts up Jason and starts to pound away in the corner again. A big uppercut knocks Jason down! Chaos walks away from Jason, and picks up the chair. He charges at Jason, who kicks the chair back into Chaos' face! Jason grabs Chaos for the Exreme Impact[reverse northern lights suplex]!! Misfit spits the green mist into Jason's eyes!! Chaos with Total Chaos[diamond cutter]!!! 1..... 2.... 3!!!]::

Randy Boggs: What a load of shit! Jason was royally fucked over here!

King Royce: Want some cheese with that whine?

Randy Boggs: I can't have dairy products.

King Royce: Oh, well, whatever.

::["Proposition Fuck You" starts up again, as Mayhem, Inc. all get into the ring and stand over Jason Corlett.]::

Misfit: Just remember, Jason, we own you!

::[Misfit tosses the mic down, as Mayhem, Inc. head towards the back as the fans toss trash, chairs, old women, and sperm samples at them. Ok, maybe not old women, but definitely sperm samples. They walk through the curtains as the ref checks on Jason.]::

Randy Boggs: Misfit is going to get his, you just wait and see!

King Royce: No one is going to do anything to Misfit. He's just too damn good.

Randy Boggs: That was close.

King Royce: What? Oh, the whole Triple... uh, that guy from that other promotion. That's twice already.

Randy Boggs: I know, you are going to get us sued.

::[The scene cuts backstage where reporter Denise Lopez is waiting for and interview with the Commissioner and the Vice President. She waits patiently until GFWA superstar Jose' Jose' walks by. Bored, she yells out his name to get a possible interview with the famous and most popular GFWA jobber.]::

Denise Lopez: Jose' Jose'! Can I have a word with you?

::[Jose' Jose' turns around and looks at her with a smile. He looks up and down her exquisite body with that retarded smile on his face. Denise Lopez still doesn't know that he doesn't speak a word of English, let alone understand it.]::

Man's Voice: Don't stiffen up on her man!

::[Both Jose' Jose' and Denise Lopez turn around to find The Butcher standing there with a large grin on his face.]::

The Butcher: Denise Lopez! You're the first person in the GFWA I look for and the last one I find. How was the movie business?

Denise Lopez: Oh it was wonderful!

The Butcher: Well, I'm glad to see you back and ready to get those great interviews you always get.

::[Denise Lopez is sort of thrown off guard by The Butcher's actions. Usually the first words out of his mouth would be some lame ass complement that would lead up to him asking her out. Jose' Jose' just stands behind them smiling into the camera acting like he's been smoking marijuana or something.]::

Denise Lopez: So... a... where is Vice President Jostrodomus? Aren't you two supposed to have some sort of big announcement?

The Butcher: Denise, you have to understand that Joz is young and immature. He's playing a man's game and yet he has the mind of a child. He's probably out robbing some corner store or something like that. Kids these days. Why don't we get the show on the road and just start this thing without him.

Denise Lopez: From what I understand the Global Championship is vacant right now and many are wondering how the GFWA is going to handle the situation. Many have said that they are worthy of the Championship and that the belt should be just simply handed to them.

The Butcher: Denise, the GFWA doesn't believe in just handing belts to wrestlers. You have to work for the chance to be called a Champion. I'll agree that there are some people that are worthy of the title but the Front Office believes that this matter should be dealt with a special way so that the most worthy wrestler obtains the gold.

::[You see Joz walk around the corner. Instantly he spots Butcher and a grin comes over his face. He walks up to Butcher and Denise and interrupts...he laughs as you hear Butch start to say something.]::

The Butcher: Well... well... well... here comes the little hooligan now. What's been keeping you, Joz?

Jostrodomus: I was entertaining your sister.

::[The Butcher has a confused look on his face because he doesn't have a sister.]::

The Butcher: Riiiight. Well I was telling Denise here about the Tournament we're going to have for the Global Championship.

Jostrodomus: We're? What...do you have a feather up your ass or something Butch?

The Butcher: Feather up my ass... what?... Nevermind! Back to the tournament. Everyone in the GFWA is going to participate in it. There will be a few matches at WrestleClash and then we'll have more matches on other shows. Don't you remember, Joz? Denise, I can see that somebody enjoyed their 4:20.

::[The Butcher quietly points to Joz.]::

Jostrodomus: Yeah Friday night is kind of a blur and all Butch.  I can see it was another night where you didn't get laid, but then again..what's the streak at now? 38 years? 40 years? What is it? I hate to ruin' your fun, but I wasn't smoking...but I sure did a lot of drinking *gets cheers from the fans* Aww shut the fuck up you lousy bastards...you wouldn't know good beer if it jumped up and fucked your women in the ass.

::[Denise is disturbed and The Butcher just shakes his head and lets Joz's words pass by him.]::

The Butcher: Denise, I also don't want to forget about the GFWA's NEW title! *the crowd gets excited* It will be called the Pacific Championship! I don't know why it's called the Pacific Championship though. You know Max...his mind is almost as boggled as Joz's here.

Jostrodomus: *rears back to punch Butcher, but doesn't* I'd hit you Butch, but your just lookin' for an excuse so I'm not the VP. So I won't...is there anything else you'd like to bore me with?

The Butcher: Yeah I've got more you bastard. The first round losers of the Tournament will be put in a Battle Royal for the Pacific Title. That sound good you fudgepacker?

Jostrodomus: Fudgepacker? Butch...must you talk about yourself?  Your a 40 year old virgin...while I'm 24 and get it whenever I want. Hey Butch...I forgot one thing...remember how I said I wouldn't hit you?

The Butcher: Yeah, what's your point?

Jostrodomus: I never said Johnny wouldn't...get this fucker Johnny.

::[Johnny Street comes around the corner and clocks Butcher with a steel chair. Butcher goes down as Denise gets the hell outta there. Street holds the chair up high and slams it into the knee of Butcher...and again as you see Joz laughing the whole time. Street throws the chair on Butcher as Joz spits on him. And the two walk away as Jose' Jose' continues to smile and stare into the camera as we shift back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: A tournament to determine the new Global Championship sounds awesome! And everyone is involved!

King Royce: They should just give the damn thing to Johnny Street, he's the only one that deserves it.

Randy Boggs: Right, well Payne would probably have something to say about that. I mean he has been headling shows lately, and garnering quite the fan following.

King Royce: He's a goof.. er, gook... no, goof is right. We need a level-headed champion. Johnny is that man.

Randy Boggs: No matter our opinions, our next champion could be anyone! And so could our next Pacific Champion. Weird name for a title, no?

King Royce: Yeah, but it'll work I guess. What else would they call it, the European, Intercontinental, Canadian, Mexican, or Australian title? I don't think so, Pacific works, so get over it.

Randy Boggs: Whoa! Calm down buddy. I didn't mean to get you all riled up. It's just a belt name, nothing to get all defensive about.

King Royce: You'd be defensive too if it were your idea!

Randy Boggs: Oh, so you got to name the new title. But why Pacific?

King Royce: Because I wanted to name it that.

Randy Boggs: Nice reasoning.

King Royce: There's more to it than that.

Randy Boggs: Care to elaborate?

King Royce: Sure. We are GLOBAL Fantasy Wrestling Alliance, correct?

Randy Boggs: Uh, yeah.

King Royce: Well, the Pacific Ocean is also the biggest body of water in the world. Plus Japanense wrestling is quite popular and a very good form of entertainment. And they are on the Pacific Ocean.

Randy Boggs: Ok, I'm with ya so far.

King Royce: Right, so I wanted to give the title a little of that Japanense flavor without actually calling in the Japanese Championship or something. Well that and because I was looking at a globe and that's what my finger stopped the spinning globe on.

Randy Boggs: Oh, ok. Well, it's a good name.

King Royce: Thank you.

::[The camera fades to the backstage where you can see Bronx's dressing room door with his name on it. It's a nice purple door. It is home of the Bucks, ya know? Just then Ricky Hunter comes up from the bottom view of the camera. He stands up straight and looks at Bronx's door, then back into the camera. Ricky then pulls out a black marker from his pants. And then Ricky's eye brows go up and then back down and he turns around and starts to move his arm and then he turns around about two minutes later. Then he moves to the side and now on Bronx's door it says "Bronx" and in black marker it says "sucks dick" and then Ricky starts to walk away laughing. The camera fades back to King and Randy]::

Randy Boggs: Uh.... right. We don't have children on our roster do we?

King Royce: Nah, nothing but mature adults, Randy. We'd never have anything but.

Randy Boggs: I think my IQ dropped twenty points by just watching that last bit of... whatever it was.

King Royce: So you are down to, what, a sixteen IQ?

Randy Boggs: Shut up.

::[The cameras cut backstage again and we see Max Danger's office door. No lewd comments on his... yet! Buwhahahahaah!! Sorry. Anyway, Star Struck walks into view and knocks on the door. The door swings open and you see Jessica Barrett-Dox. She has a look of disgust on her face as Star Struck walks into the office. He takes a seat on the other side of Max's desk, and we finally see what Jessica didn't like. His face is covered in blood and he's fuming. Max spins around in his chair... several times, before stopping and facing Star Struck.]::

Star Struck: I was tricked!

Max Danger: I know, I saw it.

Star Struck: Well, what are you going to do about it?

Max Danger: I've got something up my sleeve. Don't you worry.

Star Struck: Well, I want Potter and Neo... soon!

Max Danger: Don't worry, you'll get them in due time. Just be patient. So why are you really here?

Star Struck: I need you to look over something. It's a contract for a match. Just look over it, and sign it if you want. It's not necessary, but I would love it if you did.

Max Danger: Ok.

::[Star Struck hands Danger a paper, and he looks over it.]::

Max Danger: I can do this.

Star Struck: Really!? Awesome!

Max Danger: But of course, you must do something for me as well.

Star Struck: Anything! You just name it!

Max Danger: Just stick around and I'm sure something will come up.

Star Struck: Ok.

::[Star Struck sits back in his chair, as Danger starts to sign the contract. Star Struck is smiling as Danger signs it. We fade back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: I wonder what the contract was for, King?

King Royce: A match of some sort, but against who and what type of match, I dunno. I just name belts, Randy, I don't read contracts.

Randy Boggs: Well folks, don't you go away, we have plenty more action ahead. But first some... commercials.

***** COMMERCIAL BREAK *****

::[We come back from commerical, and the camera opens up backstage, and the cheers of the crowd can be heard as we see GFWA tag team legends Japan Air stood backstage with Dave Hadder. Kensi is a sleeveless refs jersey, while Jubei has a pair of shades on and a black t-shirt which reads "ENFORCER". Stood next to them is interviewer Dave Hadder. Dave waits for the crowd to quieten down before raising the mic.]::

Dave: Ok, Japan Air, last week you made your GFWA return in style, putting Devilz Darkside through flaming tables. Kensi, this week you've be made the special guest referee for the South of the Border vs. Devilz Darkside table match! With all due respect - can we expect you to be unbiased in this match up?

::[Kensi pauses and smiles as the crowd be heard to chant "KENSI KENSI!" in the background, before turning back to Hadder.]::

Kensi: In simple terms Hadder , yes I can - want to know why? Because to me and Jubei here, it doesn't matter who has the tag titles out of South of the Border and Devilz Darkside. Both of these teams stinks up the house. Both of them have been beaten by Japan Air and both of them will be beaten again! So tonight, I'm going to be calling it straight...down...the...middle. Isn't that right Jubei?

Jubei: Yes it is Kensi. You see, one half of those tag team titles rightfully belongs to Mr. Kensi Hibiki... he never lost it in a match, instead Devilz Darkside STOLE it...beat us down, thinking we'd be out of action for good...but we've taken the most insane bumps in any federation, anywhere, and emerged walking. Devilz Darkside of all people should know that...and soon, we're going to reclaim our rightful property!

Kensi: Believe Dave - I'm going to take it upon myself right here and now to challenge the winner of the South of the Border - Devilz Darkside match to put their titles on the line against truly the greatest GFWA tag team of all time - Japan Air - at the forthcoming Wrestleclash PPV! All we need is your agreement, so we can give Danger the papers to sign - so if you've got the balls, then BRING IT ON!

::[The crowd erupt into cheers and Kensi smiles widely in triumph. Jubei checks his watch.]::

Jubei: Uh oh, looks like our match is due to start any second now...better get moving...

Kensi: Ok... catch you later Dave...

::[Kensi and Jubei leave the scene as the camera cuts back to the commentary table.]::

Randy Boggs: What a proclamtion King, Japan Air only just recovered from severe injury at the hands of Darkside, but they're itching for another title shot! Could it be that the legendary Darkside/Air feud has yet another chapter?!

King Royce: And I thought they'd gone for good....those two Jap idiots! Why couldn't Devilz Darkside put them out of comission for good?!

Randy Boggs: Will you stop!

King Royce: For a cookie, maybe. A fortune cookie that is. Hahahahaa!! I kill myself.

Randy Boggs: And you'll be killed if you keep this shit up.

::[The camera cuts backstage where Jason Corlett is shown walking around with a steel chair in hand. He's absolutely pissed, when he sees JJ $tudd walking into the arena. Out of nowhere "Mr. Extreme" Jason Corlett jumps out and smashes him with a steel chair, JJ stumbles and Jason pulls back again and cracks him over the head, sending him to the ground.  He picks him up but JJ fights back with rights and lefts, then slams Jason's head into the brick wall.  Out of nowhere Jason's friend Nate appears and cracks JJ with the barbwire baseball bat.  Corlett then gets back up and smashes $tudd's head against the brick wall in return.  He then picks him up again and throws him onto the hood of a car, then climbs on after him.  He grabs him in a vertical suplex lock and holds him in the air.....he then drops him with a brainbuster sending his head through the windsheild.  Jason gets up in his face....]::

Jason Corlett:  Hey JJ....JJ?  Can you hear me?  It doesn't matter, but Starstruck might be mad when he finds out that you won't be able to make it for your tag match with him....boy you better borrow a pair of balls and pick yourself up when your able to move again, and get your ass to the ring, hell you were going to get it kicked anyways, I'm just helping out. Now I've gotta find fuckin' Danger!

::[With that said, Jason gives a small laugh before leaving with Nate and heading in the direction of Danger's office. We cut back to the two huggable and lovable announcers.]::

Randy Boggs: Jason Corlett is pissed at what went down earlier and took out his frustrations on J.J. $tudd.

King Royce: No, that actually seemed premeditated.

Randy Boggs: Maybe so, but it was all still out of frustration. He went further than he probably would have in any other situation.

King Royce: How the hell did you come up with that!?

Randy Boggs: I dunno know, just assumed I guess.

King Royce: So you just made an ass out of you and me. Thanks a lot!

Randy Boggs: Sorry. I'll make it up to you by having the Tag Title Match NOW!

King Royce: Wow! Really!? It's not like it wasn't already planned for now!

Randy Boggs: Hey, it's the best I could do in my position.

King Royce: Yeah, whatever, just go fuck yourself.

Randy Boggs: If I could I would, but I can't, and believe me, I've tried.

King Royce: You scare me.

devilz darkside[c] VERSUS south of the border
... tag team titles match ...

::[The fans begin to get restless as the Japan Air logo appears on the G-Tron. "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N Roses then hits and the place absolutely goes NUTS! I mean, seriously, not a soul is sitting or not screaming. EVERYONE is jumping up and down and screaming as Kensi Hibiki and Jubei Iwakura walk through the curtains. They stop at the top of the ramp, and pose for their fans, who go even more ballistic. The duo heads down the ramp, and actually slaps hands with the common fan. That's something that no one has seen since... since... a long time ago, I think. Anyhoo, Japan Air jump into the ring, and two huge pyrotechnics shoot into the air. Japan Air pace around the ring, as "Welcome to the Jungle" fades out.]::

Randy Boggs: The fans LOVE our referee and enforcer, King.

King Royce: Damn gook[*I honestly have never heard that until The Big Show said it on Raw, and I'm sorry if by saying that I offended anyone by saying it again*] lovers!

Randy Boggs: What the fuck did you just say!?

King Royce: Uh, goof lovers.

Randy Boggs: Cursing is all fine and well, I can live with that. But racial slurs like that are not going to fly. Not even on the Playboy Channel.

King Royce: I'm sorry.

Randy Boggs: Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if they beat your ass for saying that. And ya know what? They should, as should everyone else from the orient. I mean, they are just from a different country. They are humans like the rest of us. You don't have to treat them any differently, and they don't expect to be.

King Royce: Dude, I'm sorry. It just slipped.

Randy Boggs: Well don't let it happen again.

::["Come Out and Play" by Offspring starts to play as the fun-lovin' men from across the border, Tito and Papi walk through the curtains. The fans go wild for them too, but not to the extent they did for Japan Air. South of the Border walk to the ring, with championship hopes in their heads. The high-flying Mexican duo jump into the ring, as Jubei jumps out of the ring, and Kensi checks Tito and Papi for foreign objects. "Come Out and Play" fades out, and "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC kicks up. Through the curtains walks the GFWA Global Tag Team Champions... Devilz Darkside. The response they get is unheard of. NO ONE has been booed as loud as they are right now, but yet they respect them. Devilz Messenger and Hellz Angel mock Japan Air, but pretending to slap hands with the fans on the way to the ring, drawing even more heat. The champs stop at the edge of the ramp, and smile and wave at their long time advisaries, Japan Air. Devilz Darkside look at each other, then pound fists. They turn around, and see South of the Border flying through the air from the top ropes! Hellz Angel catches Tito, while Devilz Messenger catches Papi! They ram them into different ring posts, then hit stereo fall away slams, sending South of the Border into the guardrail! Kensi calls for the bell, and jumps out of the ring. He orders Hellz Angel to get into the ring, as Jubei tells Devilz Messenger the same thing.]::

Randy Boggs: South of the Border tried to get the early advantage, but Devilz Darkside wouldn't allow that.

King Royce: And what's this shit with Japan Air forcing them to take it into the ring.

Randy Boggs: Those are the RULES you racist bastard!

::[Devilz Messenger starts out with Papi who's pressed and dropped onto the top turnbuckle! Messenger grabs Papi and rams his head into the top turnbuckle nine times. He goes for a tenth but changes his mind, because the fans were actually counting along. So he stops him inches short, and just pushes him to the canvas. That draws major boos, and Hellz Angel is tagged in. He whips Papi into the corner, and climbs to the middle turnbuckle. Angel with hard rights to Papi's skull. And despite themselves the fans count along. Angel gets to nine, and stops as well, drawing more boos. Angel jumps down from the turnbuckle, and starts to drive his shoulder into Papi's gut! Angel with some stiff elbows to the throat and jaw now. Angel grabs Papi's arm and goes for the irish whip. He hangs onto Papi's arm and yanks him back into a clubbing lariat, that nearly knocks him out cold. Angel grabs Papi by the hair and drags him to the corner, where Messenger is tagged back in.]::

Randy Boggs: Devilz Darkside is just playing with Papi right now.

King Royce: They are the champs, they can do that.

::[Messenger grabs Papi and sets him up for a vertical suplex. He lifts him up and holds him there for nearly a full minute, before driving his head straight down into the canvas with a brainbuster! Papi is dead! Messenger grabs Papi by the hair, but it's just dead weight. Kensi leans down and slaps Papi's face to see if he'll respond. Nothing. Kensi jumps and is about to call for the bell with Messenger spins him around.]::

Devilz Messenger: Don't you even THINK about ringing the bell! Unless you want to wind up back in the hospital!

::[Kensi and Messenger stare intensely into each other's eyes, before Kensi relents, and says the match can go on. Messenger just smiles, and tags Angel back in. He drives a knee into Papi's skull, and starts to hammer away with some vicious rights. Angel lifts Papi up off the canvas and onto his shoulder. Angel takes off running, and plows Papi in the corner! Papi is set up in the tree of woe, and Angel backs up to get a running start. Angel takes off running, and Jubei gets Papi out of the predicament by lifting his head up, and Angel slides under the bottom rope and crotches himself on the ring post!! Messenger jumps off the apron and goes after Jubei.]::

Jubei Iwakura: You touch me, and I'll strip you of the titles!

::[Messenger stops dead in his tracks, then looks up. Tito comes flying off the apron with a somersault cross body block! He takes Messenger down! Tito starts to pound Messenger's forehead with some rights. Messenger counters by poking Tito in the eye! Tito staggers around a bit, as Messenger clears his head and rights himself. Messenger grabs Tito and lifts him high above his head. Tito starts to kick and gets free. Tito pushes Messenger into the ring post! Tito then runs to the guardrail, leaps onto it, then leaps back off with a dropkick to the back of Messenger's head! Messenger stumbles forward and falls into the ring steps!]::

Randy Boggs: Devilz Darkside thought they had things under control, but South of the Border is coming back!

King Royce: With help from damn Japan Air! It's not fair!

Randy Boggs: Life's not fair... bitch!

::[Tito climbs onto the apron, as Papi slowly, and I mean SLOWLY crawls towards the corner. Angel is back to his feet, but still holding his... danger area. Angel falls back against the ropes, and gets his arms wrapped into the ropes. Kensi, Jubei, and the fans are LOVING it! Papi is still far from his corner, so Kensi grabs him and drags him to the corner. Tito tags in, and he dropkicks Angel in the face! Tito stomps and punches away at the tied up Angel! Tito goes outside and grabs a steel chair. He comes back in and lifts it high above his head. He goes to nail Angel when Kensi takes it away. Everyone is shocked. He explains that it'll be a DQ if he uses it, and Tito is a bit pissed. Tito says something in Spanish that Kensi doesn't understand, but a fan in the front row translates, and let me tell ya, it wasn't complementary. So Kensi frees Angel when Tito is helping Papi to his feet. Tito turns around and Angel boots him ring in the face! Whiplash City! Angel picks up Tito and tosses him over the top rope and to the cold, concrete floor!]::

Randy Boggs: What the hell!? Kensi freed Angel from the ropes. Why!?

King Royce: Because it was the right thing to do, Randy and you know it.

::[Angel walks over to the ropes, and sees Tito out cold on the floor. Angel climbs to the top turnbuckle. He stands tall, and Papi uses all his strength to jump into the ropes. Angel crotches himself again, this time on the top rope! Angel falls back into the ring, and stands up in the corner, holding himself. Papi charges at Angel. Angel flips Papi onto the top rope. Papi then hits a corkscrew moonsault on the now rising Messenger on the outside!! Papi jumps up and the fans go crazy! Angel jumps out of the ring and spins the celebrating Papi around. Angel kicks him in the stomach, and sets him up for a powerbomb! Angel doesn't stop Papi at all, and continues back with him. Papi goes face-first into the ring steps! Papi is dead as the holy shit chants start up.]::

Randy Boggs: Jesus! Angel just snapped there for a second and KILLED Papi! He's not getting up from that.

King Royce: That.... was.... awesome!

::[Even Kensi and Jubei are impressed with that one. Tito gets back to his feet on the other side of the ringside area, but stumbles around. He falls against the guardrail, and just tries to catch his breath. Kensi is trying to restore order, and actually begins a ten count. 1..... Angel checks on Messenger, who must have been hit hard in the head on that corkscrew moonsault, because he's got a blank stare going. 2........ 3...... Tito falls against the ring apron. 4...... Angel climbs onto the apron. 5........ 6....... Angel is back in as Tito gets one leg on the apron. 7....... 8....... 9....... TE..... Tito rolls in at the last possible millisecond. Angel grabs Tito by the back of his tights and lifts him to his feet. Angel lifts Tito up for a back suplex. Tito flips through, and dropkicks Angel in the back. Angel falls against the ropes, and Tito rolls him up! 1...... kick out! Angel back up, but Tito ducks his clothesline! Backslide from Tito! 1.... 2.. kick out!! Tito catches Angel's big boot, spins him around and gets a small package! 1...... 2.... kick out!!! Angel and Tito back up, and Tito is whipped to the ropes! Back body drop from Angel! Tito lands on his feet! Coyote Kick[superkick] from Tito!!!! It staggers Angel. Tito turns and runs to the ropes. Messenger slides back in, as Tito bounces off the ropes. Tito is caught by Devilz Darkside! Hellraiser[double uranage] from the champs!!!! Angel covers! 1..... 2.... 3!!!!!]::

Randy Boggs: Devilz Darkside have retained their titles.

King Royce: And it was easy as pie.

Randy Boggs: Easy? You call that easy?

King Royce: Yep, DD didn't even break a sweat.

::["Highway to Hell" starts up again, as Devilz Darkside celebrate over the fallen Tito. Kensi jumps out of the ring after handing the champs their belt, and meets up with Jubei at the bottom of the ramp. They start up the ramp, when Messenger brings two tables into the ring. Angel sets Tito onto the top turnbuckle, as Messenger does the same to Papi. The champs climb up to the top, and set up for top rope powerbombs. Japan Air stops after they hear the fans calling for them to help South of the Border. They turn around and see what's going down. Devilz Darkside point to Japan Air, and say that this will be them, and they leap off the top ropes! They go crashing through the tables with sitdown powerbombs on South of the Border!!! Japan Air rush to the ring and slide inside! Japan Air and Devilz Darkside stand toe to toe and eye to eye, as the arena is just stoked.]::

Randy Boggs: My god! Devilz Darkside put South of the Border through tables, and for no good damn reason!

King Royce: They are sending a message to Japan Air. Don't get in their way, is pretty much the gist of it all.

Randy Boggs: Well, right now in that ring, staring holes into each other are the two greatest tag teams ever to step foot into a GFWA ring. I can't wait for one final showdown between these two teams.

King Royce: Devilz Darkside will wipe the floor with 'em.

Randy Boggs: We shall see, King. We shall see.

::[As they continue to stare each other down, medics rush into the ring to aid Tito and Papi. We fade backstage with them being loaded onto stretchers, and Devilz Darkside staring down Japan Air. We see Ricky Hunter walking down the hallway. Then it cuts to another camera where you can see Max's wife Jessica Barrett-Dox walking down the hallway. Then it cuts to one camera view and you can see Hunter and Jessica walk by each other. Ricky turns his head back first to check out Jessica and then Jessica turns around to see what Hunter is doing and Hunter turns his head back quicky. Jessica smiles and then starts to walk away. Hunter turns around again and looks at Jessica. Hunter nodds his head as the camera goes back to King and Royce.]::

Randy Boggs: Ricky Hunter was checkin' out Max's old lady.

King Royce: While I don't blame him, he probably should have waiting until there wasn't a camera around. Now Max will make him pay for goaking at his wife.

Randy Boggs: Well, Jessica didn't seem to mind.

King Royce: Yeah, well Jessica is extremely beautiful, and she knows it. She likes it when guys check her out. But she also knows Max will put the hurt on them for doing so, so she encourages it.

Randy Boggs: I guess so. Well, we'll be right back folks, but now it's time for some more commercials.

***** COMMERCIAL BREAK *****

::[We fade back from commercial, and Misfit is seen in his locker room with the rest of Mayhem Inc.  The door to the room is wide open and it looks as if the group is studying tape.  Could they really be analyzing their oponents?  Upon further examination, the group are watching "The Crow" featuring the late great Brandon Lee.  Just as the movie ends, the GFWA's Crow walks by, which causes the whole group to snicker.  Crow looks baffled, but walks away.]::

Chaos:  Can we say gimmick infringement?

Misfit:  Nope, I'm thinking we can say that a certain someone in the GFWA has no fucking orginiality!

Angelica:  I tell you what it is...he's prolly riding Max Danger's jock...that's why he's here.

Misfit:  What ever it is...he's an annoyance.  I don't want to see him...he bugs me!  I mean look at him.  It's as if he has no sense of reality...the dipshit thinks he's Eric Draven!

Chaos:  But his name is Derrick Crave...

Misfit:  Coincidence?  I think not!  Shawn...here's your second test...go take that fool out!

::[Shawn Springs then gets up, grabs a crow bar and leaves the locker room after the Crow! We fade back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: Looks like The Crow is going to get his first taste of Mayhem, Inc.

King Royce: Shawn Springs is having to prove himself tonight, and by taking out The Crow he will have done just that.

Randy Boggs: The Crow can usually sense when someone is after him. He's done it before, he can do it again.

King Royce: He's not Spiderman, Randy. He doesn't have Spidey sense, or whatever. Jesus, he's just a guy who can HEAR when someone is following him. If Shawn keeps quiet, he'll take Crow out without any problems.

Randy Boggs: Spiderman's cool though.

King Royce: Yeah, but that's hardly relevant here.

::[Jostrodomus and Johnny Street are backstage laughing about kicking The Butcher's ass. Then from behind them comes The Butcher with his famous Bag of Goodies and his pink vibrator. He smacks Johnny Street upside the head with the vibrator and Joz turns around. The Butcher smacks Joz with his Bag of Goodies and the contents spill all over the floor. Butch hits Johnny with a Christmas tree stand and it bends over his head. Then The Butcher kicks Joz in the face and picks up another Goodie which happens to be a computer screen. He plans to smash it over Joz's head but GFWA Officials grab him and separate both him and Joz as Johnny Street runs off dazed.]::

The Butcher: Joz, I'm going to get you sooner or later you punk ass!

::[The Butcher and Joz each have like eight guys holding them back from each other. President Max Danger strolls into the scene with his cane. He looks at both Joz and Butch and sees the hatred in their eyes.]::

Max Danger: What's the meaning of this?

The Butcher: That ass had Johnny Street beat me with a chair. You're dead, Joz!

::[Jostrodomus tries to get to The Butcher.]::

Max Danger: Guys...hmm...I'll let you two beat the crap out of each other but NOT tonight. You'll have to wait until WrestleClash and then you guys can do what ever you want to each other. Yes, the Commissioner versus the Vice President. What a match! Damn why didn't I think of that before? Take these guys away so that they cool off. I'm such a genius!

::[GFWA Officials start to move the Vice President and the Commissioner away from each other as Max Danger walks off repeating that he's a genius.]::

Jostrodomus: Butch, you're a dead man come WrestleClash! You're gonna be SO smoked!

The Butcher: *with a smile on his face* I'm going to get you, Joz....I'm going to get you before WrestleClash! Not even that self-righteous bastard Max Danger can even protect you until WrestleClash! Then I'm going to break you at the Pay-Per View...you can be sure of that!

::[Security finally gets Butcher and Joz a safe distance apart as we fade back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: Holy shit! Former World Champion vs. Former World Champion! Commissioner vs. Vice President! The Butcher vs. Jostromodus! Holy fuck shit on a stick of dynamite! That will be one hell of a contest!

King Royce: Yeah, that's all we need. An old battered and beaten commissioner against an one-legged overrated vice president. I mean, I like Joz and all, but damn, he's got one leg! He can't wrestle.

Randy Boggs: It's amazing what hatred, adrenaline, and love for a sport will make you do. This will be a great contest, and it will be the pinnacle of their careers.

King Royce: Whatever, I'll care when then pull of shooting star presses and the like.

Randy Boggs: There's more to matches than high-spots, King. You of all people should know that. You watch puro for crying out loud!

King Royce: Puro!? What the hell!?

Randy Boggs: Uh, Japanese wrestling. You said that's part of the reason why you named our new belt the Pacific Championship.

King Royce: Uh.. yeah, that's right. But I haven't actually SEEN puro first hand. I've heard stories though.

Randy Boggs: My god. You're pathetic.

King Royce: Yeah, and I don't care. I got to name a title and you didn't. I mean your jealousy is obvious, and was to be expected. But damn, just get over it, ok? You're just pissed you couldn't name it the Homo-erotic Championship. Sorry Max didn't go to you to name the belt.

Randy Boggs: I hate you, King.

King Royce: I'm glad, I don't want you to pine for me like you do N'Sync and those other boy bands.

Randy Boggs: So I like their music. They have great voices. Sue me for liking boy bands!

King Royce: If I could legally do so, I would, but alas I can't, so I won't. I'll just listen to Max speak.

Randy Boggs: What!?

::[King is a frickin' psychic or something, because just then "Born of a Broken Man" by Rage Against The Machine starts to play. The boos start immediately. Through the curtain walks Max Danger, the President of the GFWA, with his cane in hand. He stops at the top of the ramp, and waves to the fans booing him before heading to the ring. He climbs in, and is handed a mic by the old man. Max lifts his cane up and is about to hit the old man, but he turns around. Max quickly puts the cane back down and smiles at the old man. The old man watches him intently as he climbs out of the ring. Max turns his attention elsewhere, like the flasher in row six. Nice breasts, by the way.]::

Max Danger: It's great to be back in Detroit, Michigan, baby!

::[Man, the boos are deafening after that one. Max soon realizes his "mistake" and smiles.]::

Max Danger: Oops, I forgot, we are in Milwaukee. Yeah, like I care either way. Anyhoo, I've got some things to get off my chest. No, not your chest.

::[Another flasher in the upperdeck. Good eyes, no? Anyway, Max is about to get to his actual point.]::

Max Danger: Jolly Potter, you think you're clever don't you? Using the fake Jessica to trick Star Struck. You used her to lure Star Struck to the back where you could ambush him. Can't fight face to face, eh? Well, I wouldn't think someone from Europe could, so it comes to no suprise. But Potter, since you are fired from the company, what you actually did was trespass. You aren't allowed here with tickets and/or a backstage pass. You have neither, but I won't call the authorities. That is, if you get your ass, I mean arse out here now!

::["Pure Pleasure Seeker" by Moloko instantly kicks up. Through the curtains walks Jolly Potter, Neophytou, Abigail Doyle, and the fake Jessica. The get a massive pop from the fans. They slowly climb into the ring, and Potter gets a mic from the old man as well. He walks up to Danger.]::

Max Danger: Back up now, this ring is big enough that we don't have to stand so close. I need breathing room, ya know?

::[Potter doesn't move.]::

Max Danger: Very well. Potter, I have decided to give you another chance. I think you deserve one. You've earned a second shot at the GFWA. But there are two conditions. One, you cannot come into contact with any of the other GFWA wrestlers. Meaning you can't talk to or attack anyone, besides me. But if you touch me, well, you won't ever be allowed back in the GFWA. The second, you have to team up with the fake Jessica at WrestleClash to take on myself and my wife, the real Jessica. If you win, you get your old contract back, as does your little party here. If you lose, well I'll have everyone who dislikes you take turns beating on you, before kicking you out of the GFWA for good. What do you say?

::[Without thinking it over with anyone else, Potter answers.]::

Jolly Potter: You've to a deal.

Max Danger: Good.

::[Danger smiles and starts to leave the ring, when he stops. He turns back around with a huge evil smile on his face.]::

Max Danger: I'm almost forgot. You have to compete tonight too. You and the fake Jessica against Neophytou and Abigail. Oh, and I'm the special guest referee. And it's right now!

jolly potter and fake jessica VERSUS neophytou and abigail doyle
... mixed tag team match ...

::[Max signals for the start of the match, as the four stand in the ring just staring at each other not knowing what to do.]::

Max Danger: Come on now, you don't fight, you don't get your contracts back! Come on now, let's go!

::[Abigail and Jessica get to their respective corners, as Neo and Potter stand in the center of the ring, with Max looking on and smiling. Neo and Potter shake hands, then start to circle each other. Potter lunges at Neo, who falls to the mat. Potter covers, but Max just stands there. He grabs a mic as Potter and Neo sit up.]::

Max Danger: Hell no! You have to wrestle, otherwise you are gone! So wrestle damn it!

::[Potter and Neo get to their feet and shake hands again, knowing they have to do this. Potter and Neo lock up. Side headlock from Potter. Neo pushes Potter to the ropes. Potter takes Neo down with a shoulder block. Potter goes to the ropes, and steps over Neo. Leapfrog by Neo, and as he comes down, Danger puts his cane in the way. Neo goes down in pain. Potter turns around and gets in Danger's face, who just shrugs it off as he did nothing. Potter kneels down to help his friend, when Danger cracks the cane across the back of Potter's neck! Danger then picks up the mic.]::

Max Danger: Ok guys, come on down!

::[Through the curtains walks Star Struck, Garth, and Tansji. They quickly jump into the ring and start to beat on Potter and Neo. Danger tosses a chair to them, and they use it freely. Danger looks on with satsifaction. Garth puts a chair on Neo's foot, as Star Struck climbs to the top rope. Double stomp on the chair!]::

Randy Boggs: This was all a setup!

King Royce: Damn right! Pillmanize his ass... er, foot!

Randy Boggs: This isn't right! We need help out here!

::[Garth and Tansji set up a table on the outside and bring Potter onto the apron. Double chokeslam by Danger's bodyguards, and Potter goes crashing through the table!! Danger looks on laughing his ass off when the fake Jessica and Abigail climb into the ring. They back Danger into the corner, who's still laughing his ass off. They got to hit Danger, when Star Struck grabs them. He pushes them into the bodyguard's arms. Garth hits the fake Jessica with a head and shoulder tazplex! Tansji with a jumping tombstone piledriver on Abigail! Star Struck helps Danger up, who's is still laughing as the ring is littered with trash.]::

Randy Boggs: This is just henious! Someone get some help out here!

King Royce: This was awesome!

::["Born of a Broken Man" kicks up again, as they are booed out of the arena. Danger and the others jump out of the ring and head to the back, being bombarded with everything from beer to foam fingers to women's underwear. Huh!? That's not a very effective weapon, but cool to know they would throw them at Max and Company, no? Anyway, they walk to the back as the medics rush to Jolly Potter, Neo, Abigail, and the fake Jessica's aid.]::

Randy Boggs: First South of the Border gets taken to the hospital, now this.

King Royce: They deserved it.

Randy Boggs: Bullshit! They did nothing to warrant this attack! This was so uncalled for! If this weren't wrestling everyone of them would be going to jail right now.

King Royce: Good thing it's wrestling then, eh?

Randy Boggs: Just shut up before I kick you ass!

King Royce: Hey, I'm not the one who beat the hell out of the woman you secretly love.

Randy Boggs: How did you know I loved Abigail!?

King Royce: I... uh, didn't. I just said that for the hell of it. But now everyone knows.

Randy Boggs: Oh well, I guess it's best it's out in the open anyway.

King Royce: No, not really.

::[The cameras shift backstage where Misfit his shown walking down the hallway with a video tape in hand. He comes up on a door that reads, "Bronx... sucks dick". Misfit just sighs at that, and pushes the door open. He walks right in, and all of True Godds, Inc. stand up. Misfit just tosses the video tape on the floor. He looks around the room, then walks right back out, leaving TGI with confused looks on their faces. Bronx walks over and picks up the tape. He puts it in the VCR and turns on the TV as we fade back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: I wonder what's on that tape!?

King Royce: I wonder how drunk and/or high Misfit was to just walk in the True Godds, Inc. locker room like he did.

Randy Boggs: He has no fear, King. But he's still one stupid bastard for doing it, no matter his fear level.

King Royce: I know I would have had a weapon or backup or something.

::[The cameras cut backstage again, where a bloodied J.J. $tudd is shown staggering around outside. He leans up against the back doors, still out of it from the Jason Corlett attack. JJ then enters the building, and bumps into Chaos. JJ, not knowing who or what he bumped into, continues forward. After a few steps, Chaos knocks him down from behind. Star Struck then walks into the scene, and sees his partner later tonight being beaten on. Star Struck debates whether or not to help, then decides to, knowing he'll have better chances later with JJ, than without. Star Struck takes two steps, when he's bashed over the head with a steel chair. Chaos hears this and turns around. He smiles, and walks off screen saying something unhearable. We fade back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: Chaos just took down JJ, and someone else took out Star Struck.

King Royce: There's no telling who that could be. Maybe an old friend or something coming to aid his buddy? I dunno.

Randy Boggs: Probably just someone from Mayhem, Inc. The cameraman just couldn't get a shot of him/her in time.

King Royce: Maybe so.

::[We fade backstage again where Bronx and the rest of True Godds, Inc. are watching the television, or rather the tape Misfit had dropped off. The camera focuses in on the screen. It is of Wyrd, who Misfit kidnapped last week and gave to some unknown man. Wyrd is being tortured, but you can't see by whom. The tape features various different ways Wyrd was tortured. Bronx then shuts off the tape and stands up.]::

Bronx: Come on, we've got to ask some questions.

::[The rest of TGI stand up and follow Bronx out of the room, with The Gold Diggerz bringing up the rear. We fade back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: There's no telling who Misfit gave Wyrd too, and what he'll do to him next.

King Royce: Well, looks like Bronx and the others are going to get some answers, or at least try to get some.

Randy Boggs: I'm not seeing that happenining, King.

::[We fade backstage again, where Garth and Tansji are shown helping Star Struck into Danger's office. They sit him down in a chair, when Max spins around in his seat.]::

Max Danger: What happened to you?

Star Struck: I was going to help J.J. $tudd out... when I was hit from behind by someone.

Max Danger: Why would you help J.J.?

Star Struck: Because he's my partner later on. I figured I'd be better off with him than without him.

Max Danger: I wouldn't even worry about that match. You've got your Omega Title shot at WrestleClash. I'm sure Butcher will alter it in someway, but you'll still get your shot. So just go into the match wanting to injure Syn and Ricky Green... and J.J. for that matter. Just do what it takes to give yourself the advantage for WrestleClash.

Star Struck: Sounds like a great plan.

Max Danger: Of course it is.

::[The door then comes open, and it's Jessica Barrett-Dox, wearing her short as hell North Carolina blue skirt, and tight-white t-shirt. She walks over to Max and sits on the arm of his chair.]::

Jessica: Guess what, honey?

Max Danger: What?

Jessica: Ricky Hunter finds me quite attractive.

Max Danger: How do you know that?

Jessica: Because I passed him in the hall awhile back, and I saw him checking out my ass.

Max Danger: Well, it is a great ass.

Jessica: Exactly, but that's not really the point. I think he was having nasty thoughts about me.

Max Danger: I think most of the guys on the roster do. But to make sure they don't... Star Struck. Star Struck!

::[Star Struck shakes his head and looks at Max. He was apparantly distracted by Jessica' beauty.]::

Star Struck: Yes sir?

Max Danger: Would you be so kind as to pay our dear friend, Ricky Hunter a little visit? And teach him that quick glances are alright, but staring is just rude.

Star Struck: Yes sir.

Max Danger: Well... GO!

Star Struck: *shakes head again* Uh, yeah, right on that sir.

::[Star Struck gets up and says "Wow!" to himself. He walks out of the office, as Jessica and Max continue to talk. We fade to some killer commercials too. Some about how to get a sexual transmitted disease from a horse, and how to give it to goats and llamas. There's a whole book on the subject, but the commercial is pretty informational. And I'll just fade to commercial now.]::

***** COMMERCIAL BREAK *****

::[ Click For Part Two ]::