::[ WRESTLECLASH I RESULTS ]::

Saturday, April 28th, 2001
United Center in Chicago, Illinois

::[Someone somewhere in the United States flips on their television. We see a man and a woman sitting behind a desk. They seem to be talking, but no sound can be heard. Finally the mute button is hit, and we hear them talking.]::

Tom Wilcox: Well, tomorrow looks to be a nice day.

Lori Randall: Yes it does. I can't wait to get outside, strip off all my clothes and lay nude in my front lawn.

Tom Wilcox: That's wond.... wait, what!? Hell yeah!

Lori Randall: Then I'll rub some suntan lotion all over my naked body, and...

Tom Wilcox: *turned on* Yeah! Folks, goodbye! Enjoy the GFWA's WrestleClash I, and have a great weekend!

::[Tom jumps out of his seat and grabs Lori. He bends her over the desk, as the GFWA logo appears on the screen. For once this small town wishes the GFWA wasn't coming on. This was the most exciting news show EVER! But alas, it can't be. There's a small disclaimer for the young folks watching, but no one pays attention to it. Some even wake up their young and FORCE them to watch the GFWA, at least we hope they do that. The GFWA logo shrinks and stays in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. We are then shown clips of the amazing Johnny Street-Lou Nattik rivalry. As those end we get highlights of the Mayhem, Inc. and True Godds, Inc. feud. After that, we get a quick video package on the Jolly Potter-Max Danger feud. And last, but not least, we end with a short, but amazing video on the Jostrodomus-The Butcher history with each other. As that ends, the WrestleClash logo appears on the screen. We then fade into a darkened arena, where fireworks shoot from the ceiling down to the G-Tron. More go off there, shooting off the sides, the top, and there are a couple of spinning ones on the bottom. Even more go off on the small ramp way, then all they way down the aisle they go. Another huge explosion from inside the ring, and blue flames explode from the ring posts. You can see the huge cage dangling from the ceiling above the ring. And just because we can, there's more fireworks. Even outside the arena there are fireworks for the fans who get to watch on another big screen outside the arena... for fifty bucks, of course. Back inside the arena we go, and the pyro display ends, and the lights come up. The cameras start to pan the crowds, revealing such signs as, "Johnny Street is going to burn Lou alive!", "GFWA = Wheel Chair Wrestling", and... no wait, the cameras stay with the guy who is holding the "GFWA = Wheel Chair Wrestling" sign. Several other fans look up and notice that his sign sucks, for lack of a better term. They start to punch and kick the shit out of him, before he falls out into the aisle, bleeding. He is still holding up the sign, and an old lady smacks him in the back of the head with a cane. The grannie whacks him in the groin with it as well, then pushes him down the steps. He gets up slowly, still holding the sign with a huge smile on his face. He is beating by every fan as he stumbles down the aisle. He finally reaches the guardrail just behind our announcers. He holds the sign up for all to see, as King Royce and Randy Boggs turn around. They see the bloody-faced, smiling goof with the most retarded sign ever. They both stand up and pull the sign away from the young man. King Royce looks at it more closely then looks back at the guy. Royce rips up the sign, and the guy has a look of shock on his face. Royce and Boggs pull him over the railing and start to beat him behind the announce table. After several minutes, King and Randy sit back up, straighten their clothing, and look into the camera.]::

Randy Boggs: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to WrestleClash I! We are inside the United Center in Chicago, Illinois, and broadcasting LIVE all over the world on ABC! I'm Randy Boggs, and with me as always is King Royce.

King Royce: That's right, bitches and bastards, I am King Royce, and this is MY show. Don't mess with us, or you'll end up like this guy!

::[Royce lifts the guy's head up from under the table.]::

Guy: Listen to them, they're serious!

King Royce: Shut up!

::[Royce punches the guy in the face again, and pushes him back under the desk.]::

Randy Boggs: We do mean business. And tonight the GFWA means business. We have a huge night of matches planned for all our fans inside this arena, in the parking lot, and all around the world. Ten HUGE matches are scheduled for tonight, with all the titles on the line!

King Royce: Except the Global and Pacific titles. We still have to hold a tournament for those.

Randy Boggs: True, but our fans knew what we were talking about. And just so everyone knows, we are moving from the Playboy Channel.

King Royce: What!?

Randy Boggs: That's right, in a press conference that no one saw, Max Danger announced that the GFWA will be moving Saturday Rumble from the Playboy Channel to the Disney Channel. And to prove that fact, Mickey Mouse is standing by. Mickey?

::[The cameras cut to the backstage area where Mickey Mouse is indeed standing there in front of the WrestleClash banner.]::

Mickey Mouse: Thank you, and yes, the GFWA is being moved onto the Disney Channel. We feel that the GFWA will be great for our family programming, and will bring in new audiences.

::[Suddenly Misfit walks into the shot.]::

Mickey Mouse: And look, here's a GFWA Superstar now! Hey, uh, guy, how's it goin?

Misfit: Fuck you, motherfucker! Fuckin' mouse with the fuckin' ears and the fuckin' squeaking voice!

Mickey Mouse: How dare you!? I don't think we want you on our network.

Misfit: That's cool, because I feel the same way.

::[Misfit then punches the big ass mouse in the nose. Mickey stumbles back against the WrestleClash banner, and Misfit picks up a chair. He whacks Mickey in the head, and just continues to pound on him. Misfit tosses the chair aside and rips off Mickey's head. Inside it's.... Martha Stewart!]::

Randy Boggs: Holy shit! Martha Stewart is Mickey Mouse!

King Royce: So she's the reason why Mickey Mouse went from mischeavious mouse to pussy.

Randy Boggs: That bitch ruined a great cartoon icon!

King Royce: Kick her ass, Misfit!

::[Misfit looks down in shock at Martha. He slowly backs away, as Martha, bloody face and all, stands up.]::

Martha Stewart: No more, Misfit. No more. I have learned my lesson. Now, in order to make your own Mickey Mouse costume, just...

Misfit: Just shut the fuck up!

::[Misfit clobbers her with the chair again, and sparks start to shoot out of her head. It then starts to spin wildly.]::

Martha Stewart: You'll..... be..... sorry!!!!

::[It explodes! Martha Stewart's head exploded! Misfit looks down at the exposed wires coming from the big Mickey Mouse body.]::

Misfit: I knew she wasn't real.

::[We fade back to the arena, where no one really gave a shit.]::

Randy Boggs: Right, well, tonight is going to be huge folks. The Butcher and Jostrodomus step into the squared circle one more time to finally settle their issue.

King Royce: Both are damn cripples. Oh, it's going to be AWESOME!!!

Randy Boggs: Could you be any more sarcastic?

King Royce: Yes, but why waste the energy?

Randy Boggs: Good point. Lou Nattik finally gets his match with Johnny Street for the GWF World Title AND the GFWA Jr. Championship!

King Royce: And it's a Hell Match! Whoo!! It's going to be awesome!

Randy Boggs: Plus, you have Johnny's friend, Vice President Joz as the special guest ref. Now that's not going to be fair.

King Royce: Joz will call it right down the middle, Randy. He can't afford to do otherwise.

Randy Boggs: But that's not all the action we have, but because we are strapped for time, we can't discuss all the others in great detail.

King Royce: Uh, Randy, ABC gave us FOUR hours. I think we can squeeze in little tidbits about all the matches.

Randy Boggs: No we can't!

King Royce: Yes.. we can!

Randy Boggs: That one guy is getting away!

::[King looks around and actually sees that one guy running from the announce table. He gets to the guardrail, and every starts to beat on him. Even the security gets in a few shots. Royce walks over and grabs the man by his shirt. King slaps him and slams him against the guardrail.]::

King Royce: Listen here, you idiotic motherfucker! You stay under that table and give us oral ple....

::[Royce notices that everyone is looking at him with utter distain on their faces.]::

King Royce: I mean, you stay under there and be our personal whipping boys! You do as we say, and you'll get out of here alive! Now, give me a foot massage!

::[The guy runs back under the table, and waits for Royce to sit back down. Once he does, the guy starts to give him a foot massage. Then as the camera moves over to Randy, King starts to get more relaxed. Randy nods his head, informing the cameraman to get a shot of King. He does, and King looks on shocked.]::

King Royce: I told you to rub my feet, not but my.. uh.. penis in your mouth! Now do as I say! *under his breath* uck-say the ick-day. *huge smile*

Randy Boggs: Right, well folks ABC did give us four hours, but after that attack on Mickey Mouse/Martha Stewart, I don't think the Disney people will be too happy with us. So we're going to have to get into all the action real quickly. The worse that could happen would be that they take us off the air, and then you'll just have to wait and buy the DVD or VHS. So... not a big deal.

::[The scene shifts backstage where a cameraman is walking down a corridor, seemingly not filming anything. After a short while, he comes across something quite odd. Somebody has completely blocked the entrance to a room with a very large concrete cube, leaving only the tiniest of gaps at the very top of the door frame, certainly not enough for anyone to squeeze through. Behind the concrete cube, two men are faintly heard, shouting for help, but their voices aren't clear enough to identify them.

Man #1: Help!

Man #2: Some bastards have blocked us in!

Man #1: Get us out of here!

::[The cameraman just shrugs and walks off. Leaving those two men to shout at no one, basically. We head back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: I wonder who's blocked in?

King Royce: I wonder why the GFWA people never gave us personal dick su... er, foot massagers before. It's grrrrrreat!

Randy Boggs: Oh shit!

King Royce: What?

Randy Boggs: The Kellogg's people are going to be all over us for using that line. Damn you King Royce!

King Royce: Well, uh.... oops.

Randy Boggs: Yeah, I guess it's too late now. But it's not too late for our first matchup!

King Royce: What?

Randy Boggs: Nothing, just keeping having your "feet massaged".

King Royce: Ok.

the crow VERSUS shawn springs
[regular rules match, winner gets jr. title shot @ kanadian karnage]

::[MOP's "Cold As Ice" blares over the speaker of the United Center as new Mayhem Inc. member Shawn Springs comes out with his trusty crowbar to kick off WrestleClash. He immediately gets a negative reaction from the rowdy Chicago fans, but Springs shrugs it off; he has other things to worry about. He gets to the ring and shows the fans a gesture of his gratitude towards them with a middle finger, which causes another chorus of boos.

Randy Boggs: What a stupid thing to do here in Chicago.

King Royce: Shawn Springs never said he was smart... just... yeah.

::[The Crow then comes out to "Dead Souls" by Nine Inch Nails. He's met with a mixed reaction, but seems unfazed as he walks down the ramp while never breaking eye contact with Shawn Springs. Springs doesn't waste any time and quickly leaves the ring and runs at the Crow at full speed. The Crow meets him with a drop toe hold to the concrete, which results in a few "oooh's" from the crowd.]::

Randy Boggs: Nice move from The Crow to stop Springs.

King Royce: Damn, that hurts! Quit biting!

Randy Boggs: What!?

King Royce: I meant, damn, that's gotta hurt.

Randy Boggs: What about the biting part?

King Royce: I don't have a clue as to what you are talking about.

::[Crow looks to capitalize on Springs' mistake, so he grabs the Mayhem Inc. member by the hair, takes him down with a snapmare, and immediately applies a chin lock. The ref leaves the ring and makes Crow release the hold and take the action inside of the ring. The bell finally rings, and the match is officially underway.]::

Randy Boggs: About damn time they got into the ring.

King Royce: Right, like the were actually doing anything on the outside.

::[The camera pans to the front row of the arena, and Misfit and Angelica Dawson are seen sitting at ringside.]::

Randy Boggs: What the hell!? Who's seats did they steal?

King Royce: Paul Rubens' and Oprah's.

::[The cameras show Paul and Oprah miffed at Misfit and Angelica. They rush off upset.]::

Randy Boggs: Damn celebraties.

King Royce: Damn Pee Wee and his fat bitch!

::[Crow seems visibly distracted by the presence of Misfit and Dawson. He begins to taunt the two trying to get them to leave their seat, but all he's really accomplishing is giving Springs a chance to recuperate. As soon as Springs stands up, Misfit stands up as well to divert Crow's attention. Seeing an opening, Springs walks back and runs at Crow, giving him a spear in the back. As Crow crumbles to the mat, Misfit sits back down with a smile on his face.]::

Randy Boggs: That's cheating!!!!

King Royce: Starting early with the cheating accusations, aren't you?

Randy Boggs: Hey, I've got to warm up.

::[With Crow down, Springs goes to the outside and grabs his crowbar from the announcer's table, and when the ref isn't looking, Springs walks over to the side of the ring where Crow is at. Crow's head is hanging past the apron. Springs takes advantage of this by driving the crow bar right into Crow's face, instantly causing blood to trickle down from the bridge of his nose. A "bullshit" chant erupts, but Springs throws the crowbar aside before the ref sees it and goes back in the ring.]::

Randy Boggs: Now THAT'S cheating.

King Royce: No, that's taking advantage of the situation.

::[Crow is struggling to get up, but every time he gets close, Springs kicks him in the face, causing the blood from Crow's face to increase. After about five kicks, Crow's face is almost completely covered with crimson. Springs seems to be getting very cocky now. He picks Crow up and sets him up for a spike piledriver, which is executed perfectly. Springs goes for the pin. 1.... Springs lets up and instead picks Crow up again. This time, Crow is whipped in the ropes and is met with a dropkick to his knees, making Crow drop to the ground. Springs flips Crow over and applies an ankle lock submission hold, but Crow luckily gets to the ropes in time forcing Springs to break the hold.]::

Randy Boggs: The Crow was damn lucky to make the ropes.

King Royce: Oh, yeah, that's the spot! Come on, suck it! Suck it!

Randy Boggs: What's wrong with you!? You'll get us sued by the WWF now!

King Royce: I'm cumming! I'm cumming!

Randy Boggs: What!?

King Royce: *realizes he's still at the arena and being seen all around the world* Sorry, just quoting from American Pie.... yeah, that's it.

::[Randy gives King a funny look before looking back at his monitor. Springs gives Crow enough time to stand up. Crow tries to hit Springs with a few jabs, but misses each time because of the state he's in. This only causes Springs to laugh a bit. Crow goes for one last jab, but Springs catches the Crow's arm and delivers a short arm clothesline for good measure. Outside the ring, it looks as if Misfit and Dawson have left their seats and have come ringside.]::

Randy Boggs: Trespassing! Trespassing! Trespassing!

King Royce: They're just at ringside to give Springs more encouragement.

::[Dawson comes onto the apron first to distract the ref with her beauty. She even begins to unzip her hooded sweatshirt a bit. This distraction allows Misfit to enter the ring on the other side and pick Crow up and put him on his shoulders. Seeing this, Springs then climbs the top rope. As Springs jumps off, Misfit drops the Crow and hits Springs with the GREEN MIST!!! Springs drops to the mat trying desperately to clean his eyes out, but before he can, Misfit picks him up and plants him with a DDT. On the other side of the ring, Dawson looks confused and amazed and jumps off the apron and walks toward Misfit. While she's doing this, Misfit picks the Crow up, puts him on the top turnbuckle, climbs it, and delivers a DVD off the top rope to Crow. The Crow lands on top of Shawn Springs and Misfit quickly crawls to the outside.]::

Randy Boggs: Uh, what the hell was that!?

King Royce: Misfit turned on Shawn Springs!! I always felt he was the weakest link of the group.

Randy Boggs: He just joined last week!

King Royce: I know, and he sucked so bad you could tell it even then.

::[The ref turns around to see the Crow covering Springs, so he starts the count. 1... 2.... 3! The Crow wins. Things aren't over yet though, because Dawson is getting in Misfit's face. She looks visibly upset at what Misfit did to a fellow stable member! Dawson goes to slap Misfit, but he catches her hand and pushes her down, causing the crowd to boo Misfit loudly.]::

Randy Boggs: You don't push a female!

King Royce: Well fat and ugly ones you do, but not hot ones like Angelica!!!

::[While Dawson is on the ground, Misfit walks over to the ring announcer sitting next to the announcer's table and grabs his mic.]::

Misfit: Angelica... there are going to be a lot of changes going on tonight regarding me. Now, you can either be with me or against me... the choice is all yours woman...

::[With that, "Proposition Fuck You" by Methods of Mayhem plays as Misfit walks back to the backstage area to a chorus of boos. Ringside, Dawson has got up from being pushed by Misfit. She then enters the ring again to aid for her fallen comrade while looking at Misfit as he walks to the back. Dawson clearly has a very hurt and confused look on her face.]::

Randy Boggs: I wouldn't join him, Angelica!

King Royce: Yeah, come over here and see if you can do a better job than this guy!

Randy Boggs: Do a better job of what?

King Royce: Of sitting under the table... yeah, that'll work.

Randy Boggs: You're acting very strange tonight.

King Royce: No, you are!

Randy Boggs: Riiiiight.

::[The cameras cut backstage where Denise Lopez is on her travels when she spots the Potter group.]::

Denise Lopez: Hi guys.

Abigail Doyle: Hi Denise. How's the acting going?

Denise Lopez: Very well thanks. How's the singing?

Abigail Doyle: I've nearly finished writing my first album.

Denise Lopez: Good.

Jolly Potter: Hey, don't want to be a killjoy or anything, but this isn't Entertainment Tonight. This is WrestleClash. The big daddy of wrestling events. Where careers are made and the men are sorted from the boys. WrestleClash, where success means you will become a legend, a figure of honour throughout history.

Neophytou: And the day where Max Danger and his wife will want to forget.

Jolly Potter: You see, Maxie and Wide-Box hatched up a plan to get our Jessica, and yes, he got her. But that's when he pissed us off. He's got our wrath, and tonight he'll get our fury. Tonight myself and our Jessica will give Danger and his slutty missus what he truly deserves.

Fake Jessica: Wide-Box, you kept me captive because you were scared. You were fearful of what I could do behind the scenes. Tonight I will unleash my physical prowess and you are now fearful of what I will do to you in the ring.

Denise Lopez: You guys are awfully confident considering Max Danger is an evil genius and you will be fired should you lose.

Jolly Potter: Denise, it doesn't matter what plans Maxie has made. He can bring in the Army, the Navy and the Air Force, it won't matter. He can even bring in Garth, Tansji and Star Struck if he sees fit. Hell, he can even grab hold of Hugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub for all I care, I REALLY DON'T GIVE TWO SHINY SHITS!

Jolly Potter: Because we have one focus. Beating Max Danger like only his old prison inmates have ever beaten him before and get our GFWA contracts back in the process. And we will do it, because that Denise... That is The Potter Promise.

::[Jolly Potter and company walk away from Denise as we fade to Max Danger's office. He's standing there in his wrestling gear, and beside him is Jessica. She's wearing tight blue spandex shorts with "Sweet Ass" written on the ass, and a blue sports bra.]::

Max Danger: Look at them, they are so confident. But they don't know exactly what they are in for.

Jessica: And I'll show that bimbo that she can never fully be like me.

Max Danger: I'm sure you will. And Potter, let's see how good you can wrestle with one arm. Star Struck...

::[The camera pans over to see Star Struck sitting in a chair.]::

Star Struck: Yes.

Max Danger: Just one last thing before it's all over... take out Potter's arm.

Star Struck: Sure thing, and when I'm done with that, I will capture the Omega Title!

Max Danger: Yes you will.

::[Star Struck walks from the room, as Max sits back down in his plush chair. Jessica sits on the arm.]::

Jessica: Where's Garth and Tansji?

Max Danger: I haven't seen them all day.

::[We fade back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: Jolly Potter is confident.

King Royce: But not after Star Struck does his business.

Randy Boggs: If Max weren't such a pussy, he'd do it himself.

King Royce: How dare you talk about our great President like that!? You should be shot!

Randy Boggs: Yeah, that would be great! That way I wouldn't have to work with you anymore!

King Royce: Yeah, that would be great! That way I wouldn't have to work with you anymore!

Randy Boggs: Are you mocking me?

King Royce: Perhaps, what are you going to do about it?

Randy Boggs: Punch you in the face.

King Royce: Yeah right.

::[Randy actually punches King in the face.]::

King Royce: Ow! Motherfucker! Why'd you hit me?

Randy Boggs: I said I was going to, so I did. Get over it.

King Royce: Jesus that hurt.

::[The scene opens up on the words "EARLIER TODAY". Johnny Street is walking around backstage until he comes to Angelica Dawson's dressing room. He takes an envelope out of his pocket, and slides it under the door. Johnny looks around, and then leaves.]::

Randy Boggs: WOAH!

King Royce: Good choice Johnny. BEAT her... don't beat her.

Randy Boggs: Ewww...

::[The scene now switches to Angelica Dawson walking down a hallway, and she opens her dressing room door. Finding the envelope, she opens it and reads the note inside. She kind of smiles as the scene fades.]::

Randy Boggs: That was earlier today.

King Royce: Nah shit. It didn't just say it on the damn screen.

Randy Boggs: Why must you curse so much?

King Royce: Why must you be so gay?

Randy Boggs: I'm not the one having my penis sucked from a guy under the desk.

King Royce: Yes you are.

Randy Boggs: *looks down* Well it would seem as if you are right. Let's just get into our next match.

contract battle royal
[over the top battle royal, winner gets gfwa contract]

::[All the participants are in the ring and ready to go. Suddenly "Pain" by 2pac starts to play. The place erupts as Payne steps through the curtains with mic in hand.]::

Randy Boggs: What the hell is he doing out here!?

King Royce: Probably to talk.

Payne: Now, I'm not scheduled to be here tonight, and I actually quit the GFWA for one week. Well, I say that week ends tonight, so I'm here. Now, inside that ring we have some of the recent developmental GFWA talent, and so old stars. I'm just here to see whom I'll have to kick the shit out of once the Global Title tournament starts.

::[Inside the ring, all the men are going at it. Angel whips James Tannon to the ropes. Payne pulls the top rope down, and James goes tumbling to the outside. Payne picks up Tannon and rams him into the ring steps.]::

Payne: Nope, you suck. Now get outta here!

::[Drew Hostile and Christopher Matthews are battling against the ropes. Drew has Matthews reeling, before charging at him. Matthews ducks and flips Drew over the top rope. He lands on the apron, and turns Matthews around. He rams his shoulder into his gut, and goes for the sunset flip. Payne, however, holds onto his leg. Drew turns around and curses at Payne.]::

Payne: Hey, don't get pissy with me. I'm an ultra-eventer!

::[Drew just scoffs and turns back around. He is nailed with a big right from Matthews, and almost loses his balance. He comes back with a knee to Matthew's stomach, and suplexes him out of the ring. Payne catches Matthews as Drew celebrates. Payne puts Matthews back into the ring, and Drew turns around. He shouts at Payne, who just shrugs and tells him to turn around. He does and Matthews dropkicks Drew off the apron and into Payne's arms. Payne runs with Drew and tosses him head-first into the ring post. He falls to the ground, thus being eliminated. Matthews extends his arm out to Payne to thank him. Payne accepts it, then pulls Matthews out over the top rope. Matthews is pissed, but Payne solves that by giving him a low blow and DDT on the concrete.]::

Payne: I didn't do it to help you, I didn't it to prove my ultra-eventer abilities!

::[Arkham and X-Fighter are in the corner. Arkham almost as X-Fighter out. X-Fighter gets a thumb in Arkham's eyes. He goes to punch Arkham, when Payne jumps onto the apron and turns him around. He snaps X-Fighter's throat across the top rope, and into a flapjack from Arkham. Arkham goes to the ropes, and Payne grabs his foot. Arkham jumps up, and Payne climbs back onto the apron. They get into a shouting match, when Dexter Dunn walks behind him. Payne steps aside and Dunn flips him out and over the top rope. Dunn starts to celebrate when Payne grabs him. He's about to eliminate Dunn when X-Fighter charges. Payne pushes Dunn aside, and drops down on the apron, pulling the top rope down with him, eliminating X-Fighter. X-Fighter jumps back up and is leveled with a clothesline from Payne off the apron!]::

Payne: I figured you had learned your lesson about messing with me, but I guess not.

Randy Boggs: Man, Payne is just dominating and he's not even in this match!

King Royce: He's fighting a bunch of jobbers.

Randy Boggs: Yeah, but jobbers that the GFWA supposedly wants or wanted or something.

::[Angel, Chris Hunter, and Damien Slone are slugging it out in the center of the ring, when Payne slides in with a mic in hand. He gets real close to the action.]::

Payne: Hey, weren't all three of you actually GFWA "superstars"? Man, things sure do change quickly around here.

::[They all three stop their fighting and see Payne laughing at them. They form a quick alliance and form a strategy. Angel and Slone get to each side of Payne, while Chris stays right in front of him. Slone and Angel charge at Payne. Payne just rushes forward and clotheslines Hunter, causing Slone and Angel to run into each other. Payne then grabs Angel by the hair and tosses him over the top rope and to the floor. Slone shakes the cobwebs free and rushes at Payne. Drop toe hold from Payne. Hunter back up and Payne hiptosses him onto Slone! Hunter rolls into the corner, as Payne lifts up Slone. Payne waves goodbye, then clotheslines him over the top rope. Hunter comes from the corner, eats a death valley driver for his troubles. Payne grabs Hunter and just tosses him from the ring.]::

Payne: And you were the Television Champion? Jesus!

::[Payne then sees Drake Komodo climbing the corner. He gets to the top turnbuckle when Payne drops the mic and runs into the ropes. Drake crotches himself, and Payne climbs up top. Payne sets Drake up for a superplex. Payne decides differently and front suplexes Drake from the top rope to the floor! The crowd is just going nuts as the bell sounds. The ref lifts Dexter Dunn's arm in victory, as Payne turns around. He walks up to Dexter.]::

Payne: What the hell are you doing!?

Dexter Dunn: Celebrating my victory.

Payne: What victory!? I'm still standing here aren't I?

Dexter Dunn: Yeah, but...

Payne: But nothing, you have to eliminate me before you win this match.

Dexter Dunn: I still get my GFWA contract though, right?

Payne: Yeah, but don't you want to get an earlier chance to injury me for our match next week?

Dexter Dunn: I.. I.. guess so.

Payne: Well, maybe you should have acted on that, instead of talking.

::[Payne kicks Dexter in the stomach, catching him by surprise. Payne lifts Dexter up onto his back and holds his arms out. Payne then rushes to the ropes, and sends Dexter flying to the concrete. Crucifixion from inside the ring to the outside! A "Holy Shit!" chant begins, as Payne looks out at Dexter.]::

Payne: Dunn, you're going to be the first roadblock I crash through on my way to the Global Championship!

::["Pain" kicks up again, as the fans are going crazy for Payne. Payne jumps out of the ring, and walks past all the fallen bodies on the outside. He heads up the ramp and to the back with the fans chanting his name.]::

Randy Boggs: Looks like Dexter Dunn gets the GFWA contract, and Payne next week in the first round of the Global Title Tournament.

King Royce: Looks like it, Randy. Hope Dexter heals quickly, because that Crucifixion to the concrete floor had to hurt.

Randy Boggs: Payne is proving why he is an "ultra-eventer".

King Royce: God, he's so childish. "Ultra-Eventer", that's so super-fantastically gay.

Randy Boggs: Riiiight.

::[The camera opens up backstage, where Kensi and Jubei are arriving to prepare for their important No.1 contendership match with the Gold Diggerz. In the background the fans can be heard cheering as they catch their first glimpse of the popular tag team. Both members of Japan Air reach their locker room, and Jubei is about to open the door when he notices something has been stuck to it. He pulls off a note and reads it out aloud.]::

Jubei Iwakura: Huh? "Your application has been recieved; your interview will take place this evening." What the hell is this?

Kensi Hibiki: (nervously) Well...ah....hmm...must be some sort of practical joke!

Jubei Iwakura: (not convinced) Hmm, I'm not so sure...and let me tell you this Kensi, if this costs us our match, then my God are you going to get a kicking!

Kensi Hibiki: (even more nervously) Hey hey, it's cool ok, it's cool!

Jubei Iwakura: Yeah, it better be....

::[The camera cuts back to the commentary table as Jubei and a nervous Kensi head into their locker rooms.]::

Boggs: What the hell was that all about?

King Royce: I don't know Boggs, you're supposed to be the brains around here! Damn, did I just say that?!

Randy Boggs: Hahaha, on national TV too...

King Royce: I hate you Boggs. I really mean it.

Randy Boggs: Cool, now let's start our next matchup!

kris knight VERSUS kriminal
[extreme rules match, winner gets extreme title shot @ kanadian karnage]

Randy Boggs: Well into our next match-up. Here we have Kriminal taking on Kris Knight of Mayhem Inc. with the No. 1 Contendership to the Extreme Title on the line.

King Royce: Yes, but you have to remember, Kris Knight is simply not an Extreme wrestler, what makes anyone think he can pull this match off against a man like Kriminal?

Randy Boggs: He may not be an Extreme wrestler in the sense but you've seen the attacks by Mayhem Inc. in the past, if they show up who knows what will happen, with them in his corner Kriminal has a challenge on his hands.

King Royce: True, but the fact still goes that Knight ISN'T an Extreme Wrestler, if there are no surprise appearnces from Mayhem Inc., I think Kriminal has it won.

Randy Boggs: Ok well let's get to the ring!

::[The Mayhem Inc. theme "Proposistion Fuck You" begins to blast over the PA System. Out walks Knight along with Manager Knight-Out to a chorus of boo's. Knight just shrugs it off before continueing his way to the ring. As he hits the ring his music cuts off and is directly followed by "Take It" by ICP. The fans give a mixed reaction, mostly cheers however as Kriminal makes his way from the backstage area with Sarah, as well as his three thug friends. They walk down the ramp and the three thugs just stand there, staring at Knight-Out, as Sarah walks to Kriminals corner, and Kriminal enters the ring. Immediately he is pounced on by Knight.]::

Randy Boggs: Knight getting an early start here, where's the weapons?

King Royce: Well Knight won't want to get involved with weapons, but I'm surprised Kriminals friends haven't brough guns or something.

Randy Boggs: Maybe they'll shoot you by mistake.

::[Knight pounds on Kriminal with some fists and then picks him up into a vertical suplex posistion, then he drops him straight on his back. He follows up with two quick elbow drops and then a running leg drop. Knights picks up Kriminal and whips him to the corner. He runs in but is caught in the face with Kriminals boot. Who, in turn, runs out to clothesline Knight. Knight ducks and nails a neckbreaker and then goes for a quick cover...1....kick out by Kriminal. Knight immediately applies a headlock on the ground.]::

King Royce: Does he really think he can beat Kriminal that early?

Randy Boggs: Well he sure wishes he could, now he's just wearing him down while thinking of what to do next.

::[Knight holds the move until the fans begin to get behind Kriminal. He works his way to his feet and then nails Knight in the gut with two elbow shots. He runs against the ropes and nails a diving clothesline. He gets up immediately, as does Knight, who is caught by a standing side kick by Kriminal. Kriminal goes to the outside and reaches under the ring. He pulls out a trash can and a 2x4. He throws in the 2x4 but the trash can is taken away by Knight-Out at ringside! Kriminal turns around and gets in his face. Krim turns around to get back in the ring but is caught with a baseball slide by Knight, who then throws him back into the ring.]::

Randy Boggs: Knight and Knight-Out must have a plan, they're making this hardcore match, not very hardcore.

King Royce: Yeah Boggs, no shit. Anyways that's the only way Knight can win, he's not an extreme wrestler, remember?

Randy Boggs: I was just pointing it out.

King Royce: Shut up.....uh oh Knight-Out better run.

::[Yep, Kriminals three thugs are walking over to Knight-Out who backs goes to the opposite side of the ring. However the trio splits and heads right towards him. The ref see's the two thugs walking around at Knight-Out and jumps out, causeing the third thug to jump in the ring with a trash can, WHACK! Right over the head of Knight, the thug jumps out and the ref back in. Kriminal gets back to his feet as does Knight, Kriminal grabs the 2x4 but Knight hits him with a drop kick as he turns around, sending the 2x4 flying out of the ring. Knight then picks him up and nails a T-Bone suplex, and then follows it up with a single crab.]::

Randy Boggs: Again Knight having lots of luck so far keeping this from getting to hardcore.

King Royce: Except that Trash Can a minute ago, that had to hurt.

::[The ref checks with Kriminal who refuses to tap. He works his way to the ropes and GETS THEM! Wait this is No DQ it doesn't matter. Kriminal is in pain and Knight eventually lets go. He picks up Kriminal and hooks him in a Tiger Suplex, but Kriminal knocks him with a back kick to the groin. Knight struggles over as one of Kriminals thugs tosses him the 2x4 that flew out of the ring earlier. Knight turns around, still holding his groin, and WHACK directly over the head with the 2x4, which breaks in half. Kriminal is then thrown a chair, a roll of barbwire, and a table. He sets up the table and then wraps the barbwire around it. Knight slowly gets to his feet but is caught with a chair to the skull. He then sets the chair down and picks up Knight. He hooks him up and nails a brainbuster directly onto the chair....1.....2.....kick out.]::

Randy Boggs: Long two count as this match finally gets a little hardcore.

King Royce: Yeah, the 2x4 was pretty cool, but I want to know what's going down with the table.

::[Kriminal picks up Knight and rakes his head across the barbwire which is on the table, causeing Knight to bust open bleeding. Krim and Knight both get on the table and Kriminal hooks Knight for the Kriminal Offense! He goes to hit it but one of the thugs pushes the table over!]::

Randy Boggs: What the hell?!?!

King Royce: I think Kriminal is asking the same question.

::[The thug reaches out and under the ring, and pulls out some gasoline and a tortch! He pours the gasoline onto the table and lights the tortch, and then lights the table on fire. Kriminal takes Knight to the top rope and hooks him for a top rope Kriminal Offense through a flamming barbwire table. But out of nowhere Knight turns around and hooks him in a Northern Lights Suplex and sends Kriminal through the table! Kriminal rolls on the floor getting the fire out as Knight struggles to get to his feet. Holy Shit chant starts.]::

King Royce: HOLY SHIT!

Randy Boggs: Yeah that's what they're saying.

King Royce: And they're right did you just see that?!?!?!

::[Knight and Kriminal both slowly but surely get to their feet. They begin to throw fists at each other in the center of the ring, with Knight getting the upper hand. He whips Kriminal to the ropes which are pulled down by Knight-Out and Kriminal falls out of the ring. Knight follows and picks him up immediately. He suplex's him onto the steel ramp. He follows it up with leg drop, then picks up Kriminal and hits a Michinuko Driver onto the ramp, he pins him 1......2......thr..kick out! Knight is furious as the ref holds up two fingers. He goes back to fighting though and punds Kriminals head into the steel. Knight then picks him up and drags him up the ramp. He knocks his head into the Titantron before the two disappear backstage. As the match shows up on the titantron, Knight is pounding Kriminal into the garage door in the parking lot area. Knight then goes to shove his head into it but Kriminal gets a foot up onto the garage, blocks it, and slams Knight into the door. He then walks over and picks up a shovel from a barrel. He whacks it over Knight and the shovel end breaks off. 1......2.....thre....KICK OUT!]::

Randy Boggs: How the hell did he kick out of that? He's not even an extreme wrestler?

King Royce: No kidding, I thought Kriminal would have killed him by now.

::[Kriminal wastes on time in pounding on Knight with huge fists. He picks up Knight. He drags him into the indoor parking, and see's some cars. The men brawl onto a limo. Knight begins to fight back and.....ALL KNIGHTER NECKBREAKER....he has him set up for his finisher when out of nowhere Kriminal reverses and nails the Kriminal Offence on top of the limo! 1.....2......3!!!! KRIMINAL WINS!!]::

Randy Boggs: Well he did it....Kriminal wins. Maybe it's just not Knight's kind of match.

King Royce: You could be right, but either way Kriminal get's a title shot at Kanadian Karnage against the winner of the Misfit/Jason Corlett match later tonight.

::[The screen shows "EARLIER TODAY", and you see the door of Bronx's dressing room. It opens, allowing you to see the room completely trashed! Johnny Street walks out, proud of himself, and walks away like nothing happened.]::

Randy Boggs: Bronx had harsh words for Johnny in an interview earlier this week, and now Street is showing Bronx a little something.

King Royce: Shut up.

Randy Boggs: Just trying to recap...

King Royce: Well, don't.

::[Now the scene shows Bronx walking into his dressing room, and then him running back out with a baseball bat. He looks around for the man responsible, but finds nobody, so he walks back in.]::

King Royce: Hey, guess what?

Randy Boggs: What?

King Royce: That happened earlier today!

Randy Boggs: Screw you.

the gold diggerz VERSUS japan air
[regular rules tag team match, winner gets tag title shot @ kanadian karnage]

::[The Gold Diggerz are seen standing in the ring, preparing for the arrival of their opponents.  Then, "Welcome To The Jungle" Begins to play, and out comes Japan Air. They dive into the ring, as the crowd shows their approval. The bell rings as Kensi heads to the corner.  Ice comes over and attacks Jubei with forearm shots to the back, bringing Jubei to his knees.Ice now lifts Jubei, and pushes him into the ropes, and whipping him accross the ring.  Ice runs to the opposite ropes, and, when approaching Jubei, Ice leaps in the air, connecting with a clothesline on Jubei's neck.]::

Randy Boggs: Whoa, The Gold Diggerz looks to really want that title shot.

King Royce: That's what every tag team wants.  The Gold Diggerz are no different.

::[Jubei is now thrown into the neutral corner hard.  He bounces out of the corner stumbling for a few steps.  Ice let's Jubei walk into him, then picks him up and gives Jubei the inaverted atomic drop, sending Jubei back in the corner.]::

King Royce: I hope Jubei don't have any long term parental plans.

::[Ice goes to the opposite corner, and poses to the crowd for a second, then running into the stunned Jubei, with a tackle.  However Jubei, at the last second, hops up onto the second turnbuckle, and lets Ice ram shoulder first into the post.  As ice bounces back, Jubei jumps off with a double-axe handle smash to the head of Ice.  Both men are knocked down. As the ref begins his 10 count.]::

Randy Boggs: Whoa, Jubei, with an act of desperation manages to escape that predicament.

King Royce: Yeah, he also knocked out Ice.  This doesn't look very good.

::[Ice begins to move first, and squirms toward his corner.  As Jubei heads to the ropes to help him up.  Jubei makes it to the second rope and hauls himself up, and he begins to lean on the top rope, which appears to be the only thing keeping him up.  Ice, now makes the tage and Frostie is in.  He sprints at Jubei.  And dives in the air.  Jubei ducks and back body drops frostie over the top ropes, and landing on the floor on his back. Jubei begins to follow the ropes over to Kensi.  Ice enters the ring, just as Jubei falls down, with his arm outstretched....he makes the tag, and in goes Kensi.  Kensi, leap frogs over the ropes into the ring, but he does it with a dropkick, knocking down Ice.]::

Randy Boggs: There's no denying the action in this match.

::[Kensi picks Ice up and whips him into the corner, he then gets on the second rope and shows his fists to the crowd.  They begin to cheer as Kensi begins to nail ice with right hands..1..2...3..4.  the crowd counts along.5..6. Kensi begins using both hands, just wailing away on Ice's face.]::

Randy Boggs: The capacity audience has lost count of Kensi's onslaught here...

King Royce: That's because they probably can't count past 6.

Randy Boggs: Oh Brother...

::[Kensi continues to hammer ice in the corner, but out of nowhere, comes Frostie with a double handed smash to the back.  Knocking Kenis down.  Ice, walks over the top rope and heads back to his corner as Frostie unloads on Kensi.  Frostie now, picks Kensi up and bodyslams him into the mat.  Forstie now with great speed goes to the outside and hops up to the top turnbuckle.  He yells some profanity at some fan at ringside. Then attempts a 450 Splash.  But Kensi gets his knees up, and Frostie gets hit directly in the gut.  Kensi flip sback to his feet.  Frostie rolls back 360 degrees and landing on his feet. Kensi runs at him, but Frostie side steps him, and gives him a knee to the gut, Kensi falls over Frostie's knee and lands on his back, on the mat.]::

Randy Boggs: It seems like Japan Air can't get any momentum in this bout.

King Royce: Yeah, which is why Gold Diggerz will be going on to face the champs at Kanadian Karnage.

Randy Boggs: Don't count out Japan Air.

King Royce: We'll See.

::[Frostie garbs Kensi's hair and picks him up, then he brings him over to the corner...where Ice is waiting.  Ice now gets the tag in.  Ice with the obvious power advantage picks up Kensi with ease, in a gorilla press slam position, and just drops him on the top rope. Kensi's stomach bounces off the rope and he falls back on the matt.  Now Ice, going up top.]::

Randy Boggs: Oh my God, Ice is now heading upstairs.

::[Kensi shows no movement as Ice gains balence.  Ice now dives off the ropes with a splash.  It connects, nearly destroying the remains of Kensi's ribs.  The ref now makes the count...1...2...3...NO!  Jubei jumped in and made the save.  The ref follows Jubei to the other side of the ring while Frostie comes up to get some double-team action. Jubei struggles to get past the ref, as Ice gives Kensi a Backbreaker, but is holding Kensi on his knee.  Frostie now is on the top turnbuckle, he shoots off, and lands a leg drop on kensi's neck.  Kensi's neck goes through a somewhat whiplash motion.  As Ice leaves the ring, and the ref turns around to see Frostie pinning Kensi.  1..2...Nope, Kensi gets his foot on the rope.  Frostie looks frustrated and picks up Kensi.  Kensi is dazed now, as Frostie once again goes up top.]::

Randy Boggs: This looks like the Frost Bite....

King Royce: It's Over, Japan Air is finished.  This match has been totally dominated by Gold Diggerz.

::[Frosite jumps off the second rope hoping to achieve the Frost Bite, but to his surprise, Kensi isn't there.  Frostie lands face first on the matt.  As the crowd begins to cheer, after a long time of constant boos.  Frostie gets up and looks around.  He looks in the corner to see Kensi crawling his way to the ropes, gives inches from Jubei.  Frostie runs at him and tries to grab him, but Jubei makes the tag.  He hops up onto the top turnbuckle, and jumps at Frostie.  he lands in the seated postion on Frostie's shoulders.  Then he leans back, and turns it into a huricurana. Jubei holds it for the pin. 1..2, kickout at the 2 count.  Ice walks in the ring and launches a clothesline at Jubei, but jubei ducks and kicks Ice in the midsection, Jubei backs into the ropes and whips himself at ice, jumping in the air, and throwing a punch.  ice, wobbles back to the opposite ropes.  Jubei tries it again, he runs at the ropes throwing the big fist again, this time Ice falls over the top rope and to the outside.  Jubei now grabs Frostie, and gives him an albert bomb{Sky High}.  The Jubei signals to the crowd, and picks up Frostie.  He Nails the Gouki Driver on Frostie.  As ice and Kensi are battling near the brodcast position.  Kensi lays right hands into the jaw of Ice knocking him back.  He nails a haymaker right on Ice's face, knocking Ice onto the announce table.]::

King Royce: Hey Guys, get away from here, we don't speak spanish.

::[Kensi jumps off the apron at Ice.  But Ice gets his hand up and catches Kensi, and Chokeslams him on the floor.  but he doesn't see in the ring, that Jubei has pinned Frostie.1...2...3!  It's all Over and we have a winner.  Japan Air.]::

Randy Boggs: Japan Air is going to Kanadian Karnage.

King Royce: Lucky bastards.

::[Japan Air has left to the back with the fans chanting their name, and already anticipanting the showdown at Kanadian Karnage between Japan Air and Devilz Darkside. But back in the ring, Frostie and Ice are getting to their feet. Suddenly, "Proposition Fuck You" by Methods of Mayhem hit. The boos start up immediately and through the curtains comes Misfit. Behind him is another man. He's bald and just has this look of a psycho on his face. He is dragging a man in a black hood. Misfit and the other man head down to the ring, as the fans are already chanting "asshole!".]::

Randy Boggs: What the hell is the evil genius doing out here?

King Royce: Being called an asshole, I know that much.

::[Misfit jumps into the ring and pulls a mic from his back pocket. He walks over to the Gold Diggerz, who are now up. The other guy jumps into the ring with the hooded man, and stands behind Misfit in the corner. Misfit looks into the Gold Diggerz's eyes, then holds up the mic.]::

Misfit: You know guys, you were brought into Mayhem, Inc., because we thought you could bring more gold into the group. And by that display a few minutes ago, you have proven you aren't ready for the big time. Yes, you may be good athletes, with a bright future. It's too bad that that future will not be with us!

::[Misfit bonks Frostie in the head with the mic, and Ice is shocked. He grabs Misfit by the throat, and that weirded out guy comes up from behind him and low blows him. Misfit and the other guy grab Ice and hit a double stunner! Frostie comes charging at Misfit, who hiptosses him into a backbreaker from the other guy! He goes and grabs two chairs and tosses them into the ring. He and Misfit each pick one up, and wait for Ice to get to his knees. He does and they sandwich his head between two chairs!! Frostie pulls himself up against the ropes, and Misfit tosses a chair at him. Frostie catches it on instinct, then has the chair superkicked back into his face from Misfit's friend, I suppose. They pick up Ice and toss him out of the ring, as the fans are not happy. Misfit picks the mic back up.]::

Misfit: Worthless bitches! It looks like we will have to take matters into our own hands. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Madrox! My new partner in mayhem. He is the one who has been torturing Wyrd.

::[Madrox drags the hooded man to the center of the ring, and removes his hood, revealing Wyrd. He's cut up and bloodied from all the beatings.]::

Misfit: Now, Bronx, if you want your buddy back, just come on out and get him. That is, if you have the balls!

::[Misfit and Madrox stand over Wyrd as the crowd starts to chant for Bronx. "Bow Wow" by Lil' Bow Wow then hits and the place explodes. Out from the back comes Bronx running. He gets a ringside when we see Chaos jump over the railing from the other side. Bronx slides into the ring, as does Chaos, just behind Misfit and Madrox. Bronx charges at Misfit and Madrox, when they step aside and Chaos just completely destroys Bronx with Nailed[spear]! All three men start to stomp away at Bronx. Misfit picks up the chair and places it around Bronx's injured leg. Madrox climbs up top, as Chaos holds Bronx down. Madrox leaps off the top rope and double stomps the chair!! Bronx is in a lot of pain, as Misfit picks him up and blasts him with a chair, busting him open. Bronx stumbles backwards and into the Last Call[tazzmission]!! Chaos keeps it locked on until Bronx passes out. Chaos releases the hold and stands next to Misfit and Madrox.]::

Misfit: I don't guess you saw him coming, did ya? Hahahaha!! Now, Wyrd, my good pal, what did you think of that?

::[Wyrd is out of it and stares blankly at Misfit.]::

Misfit: Well, would you care to join him in the hospital?

::[Madrox bashes him in the back of the head with a steel chair! Chaos, Misfit, and Madrox all start to stomp away at Wyrd, before he falls out of the ring and to the floor. Misfit picks the mic back up.]::

Misfit: Now that done with those chumps, it's time to take out the garbage!

::[Madrox rams a steel chair into Chaos' stomach, then lifts him up for a powerbomb. Misfit climbs to the top rope, and nails Chaos with a crossbody block as Madrox slams Chaos to the mat with a powerbomb! They continue to stomp and punish him with the steel chair, until he's left a bloody mess in the center of the ring, right next to Bronx.]::

Misfit: Ya know, I never really liked you Chaos. So now try and survive without Mayhem, Inc!

::["Proposition Fuck You" kicks up as Misfit and Madrox jump out of the ring. The boos are so loud you can't hear yourself think or fart. Misfit and Madrox just soak it all in, as they head through the curtains. Bronx and Chaos are bloodied and unconscious in the center of the ring, when a referee comes running out. He slides into the ring and calls for the bell.]::

bronx[champion] VERSUS chaos
[television title match]

Randy Boggs: It looks as if the TV Title match is going to start now.

King Royce: Don't you just LOVE Misfit? He's so fuckin' awesome!

::[The ref stands between Chaos and Bronx and begins to count. 1.... 2..... 3..... the fans are not wanting it to happen this way.... 4..... 5.... a "Bronx!" chant starts to spring up.... 6..... 7...... 8..... both men are still down a bleeding badly..... 9..... T....]::

WrestleClash I Results, Part 2 ]::