◊ Here's something on the lighter side, with a side-order of sociology and relevance. At work, I sit near a couple of women who don't have enough to do. They spend most of the day sharing the details of their middle-aged suburban lives with anyone within earshot, somewhat like bloggers without an Internet connection.

Today, one of them was describing the perils of her live-in boyfriend, who sustained a nasty cut to the head after a slip in the bathroom yesterday morning. He went to work but started bleeding profusely at dinner, so they shared a harrowing evening in the local emergency room. After being patched up and released from the hospital, my office mate drove her man home, grilling him along the way. "Why didn't you get help earlier", she asked. His reply: "No one wants to hear about my problems." To which she rejoined: "Oh, shut up!"

OK, let me make it clear where I'm coming from here. I'm a guy and I understand what the wounded housemate was saying. I found his girlfriend's reply to be mildly ironic and unintentionally humorous, of the "you can't make this stuff up" genre. However, many of you female types out there probably understand and sympathize with the woman here. OK, that's cool. But let's drop back for a quick lesson in how men are socialized, and thus why we do stuff like that.

As children, boys are taught (in hundreds of little ways) that being tough and stoic is good. It's one of those sociological things that you usually don't notice until someone points it out. As you might have learned in Sociology 101, most sociological things have a reason behind them, and it doesn't take a look much farther than the current headlines to figure out the reason for a man's reticence in sharing his emotions. Obviously, since time immemorial, human society has seen the need for boys to prepare for war. And going to war requires that the biggest emotional crisis, i.e. the urge for self-preservation, be put on hold.

So, women of the world, next time you feel perplexed about your man's emotional dryness, take a look at the evening news. You'll see rather quickly why society brought him up to be that way. Regrettably, war is still a huge part of our daily lives.

P.S. Back around Christmas, a bunch of the ladies at work were marveling at a candle holder with a sound chip in it that played a jazzy, sultry saxiphone version of "Oh Danny Boy". They were joking amidst themselves about the romantic moods that could be cast with this unique little gift. I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, wondering if I were the only one to appreciate the irony that "Danny Boy" is a father's lament at sending his son off to war. ◊
posted by Jim at 8:14 PM    0 Comments    Leave a Comment