| The Flatulent Times Opinions/Editorials |
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| Human Rights? What are They? By Geoffrey Schaefer |
| Attorney General Ashcroft doesn't give a shit about human rights domestic or foreign. We all know he wants to take away EVERY SINGLE LIBERTY we have here in the U.S., but I though at least he'd have the decency to respect human rights. I was wrong. I shouldn't have faith in conservatives. Ashcroft is now attacking the Alien Tort Claims Act, which has helped non-citizens get reparations for violations of human rights and treaties for over 200 years. Hitle- ahem... I mean Ashcroft now wants to basically do away with this law that has been used extensively especially since the Holocaust. "It's a historical relic" he said, not realizing it's imortance in modern politics. So here we go again, Republicans fighting against any attempt to push for human rights. Those motherfuckers. For me, it proves that the conservatives aren't in it to help people. Any idea that maybe the war in Iraq was an attempt to overthrow a vicious dictator is gone in my mind. We're in it for the money. That's why we're not giving the Iraqis the self rule we promised. We want to build it up with McDonalds and the Gap. And we can't forget the oil, Halliburton will have it's hands on that the moment it gets the chance. So, goodbye yellow brick road, this isn't the magical Oz we'd like to think. Then again, we're not in Kansas anymore. Welcome to the U.S.A., home of the exploiters, land of the rich. |
| SARS Rocks! by Geoffrey Schaefer |
| What's with everyone giving SARS a bad name? I have SARS and I think it fucking rules. The thing is, SARS isn't all that bad. It's like pneumonia, but cooler. Sometimes you don't get enough oxygen in your blood, and you start feeling dizzy. It's awesome! It's like doing drugs, except, uh, it's not drugs. My biggest problem with the SARS craze, though, is the way the media portrays it. They're so damn negative. The death rate isn't THAT high, the media seriously needs to calm down. Stop bitching about me being an asshole, I'm just kidding. SARS has brought out a very important issue that I feel I must address. The media's overexageration of EVERYTHING!!! Goddamn, those bastards make it seem like SARS is the end of the world, it's the next black plague, run to the hills before the Chinese infect you! It's absurd. Of course we need to be more precautious, but we can't live in fear all the time. Goddamn. They do it all the time. 9/11, Anthrax, Hurricanes, chicken fuckers, if there's a problem, by golly they're going to milk it for all it's worth and beyond. Now Toronto is a "dangerous" place because a few people there got SARS. People need to understand that this is the media's job: to create hype, and ironically, we can't take them too serioulsy. |
| Everyone Loves a Good 'ol Tax Cut! by Geoffrey Schaefer |
| Voodoo economics. A.k.a. lower the taxes on the working and middle class slightly while giving a huge payoff to the rich, the Bush boy's idea of stimulating the economy: by decreasing Federal revenue in a time of deficit AND war. Don't you just love America? In Player Piano by Kurt Vonnegut, Doctor Halyard wonders what it was like at a time when any fool could become president and actually have to RUN the country. He should be here today. How the hell do the Republicans plan to revive the economy by lowering taxes. "ooh, it's going to 'trickle down' the the lower classes," bullshit. That's what Reagan said, and it sure as hell didn't work for him. Some conspiracy theorists suggest that the Bush boys want to kill the economy, so to justify the cutting of Federal Social programs. This may hold some truth, but this is a bit too much for me. So what do I think? Republicans are dumb. It's simple. The Republicans are morons. They think simplistically, "hmm, we like buissness, so let's get an economic plan that helps buisnesses while making the public think that it's helping them!" They call it "supply side economics," I call it bullshit. The problem is that they've convinced themselves that it's a good thing. They're living in a fucking fantasy world. No, Reagan wasn't Jesus reincarnated, he was the goddamn devil, I tell ya! What the fuck did Reagan do to HELP the U.S.? "Ooh, he restored the prestige of the presidency," that's not good enough. He could have caused a nuclear holocaust with his aggressive foreign policy, fucked the economy with his tax cuts while fighting the already fatally wounded U.S.S.R. Wait, this sounds familiar... "Supply side economics," don't work. We're in an ever increasing deficit, just like under Reagan. It's time we learned from the past. |