The takeover took place November 20, when Mr. Yourman arrived at the island.
"I am here to take over the world." he said. Obviously no one had told Mr. Yourman that Hawaii is not the entire world.
Mr. Yourman then announced that his new takeover would secede from the union to form its own country. He accomplished this by first kicking out all the native Hawaiians. amd then bringing in his own bureacracy, which included the appointment of several movie theater officials to run the country.
But, how do Americans feel about this hostile takeover of American lands, by an American nonetheless?
"I think it's great," said Mike Hunt, "those damn Hawaiians have been threatening us too long, just like them damn Iraqis." When informed that Hawaii was part of the United States, Mr. Hunt replied, "oh... well, in that case, nuke 'em."
Some people support Mr. Yourman's actions.
"We need more shit like this," said Geoff Schaefer, "we need more hostile takeovers of states." Of course, Geoff Schaefer was appointed to a leadership position by Mr. Yourman.
At a press conference, President Bush commented on the situation. "Hawaii was an important state. Ever since the days when we found gold there, there, in the icy cold, when whats-his-faces folly was proved wrong, it's been somewhat good to the securty of the US, even when Russia was gettin' all feisty, it was there." ?Among the utterly confused crowd was a questioner who suggested that president Bush had confused Hawaii with Alaska. Mr. Bush took no more questions and ended the conference.
Other political figures have.commented on the situation as well.
Considering this takeover a "threat," governor Schwarzenegger of California has called for a millitary attack on the island.
"If the army doesn't do it, then I will!" he said.
Despite the controversy, Hawaii has made no attempt to do any harm to the continental United States, and has not had a negative effect on the economy.
When asked for comment, Mr. Yourman responded with, "I'm just happy that I have my own helicopter pad."
We're all happy for you, Dave.
-Geoffrey Schaefer