Anyway, this, I trust, isn't going to be a rant about how bad computers are- I think that's nicely obvious. Instead, I am going to celebrate something, what I consider to be amongst the most influential and important developments in the entire history of time. I'm talking here- but of course- about trousers. You may think that's a little odd, and i respect that veiw. However, I think trousers are great. Why, I rarely leave home without at least one pair, And I feel that they have considerably more dignity and gravitas than their close relatives, the shorts. I dislike shorts, for many reasons. Most importantly, I think legs, and in particular my legs, are there for getting you from place to place, and climbing up stairs, and stuff like that, rather than being exposed to the elements in a moment of rash daring. And speaking of rashes, of course, it'shardly wise to go wading through hordes of stinging nettles whist wearing a pair of shorts. Better than nothing, I conceed. Anyway- they have merely one advantage over trousers, namely that when you go a-paddling, the bottom of your trousers don't get all soggy. Because, obviously, they're somewhere around your knees. One considerable point in the favour of trousers, over... oh, I dunno, say... a computer, is that they are really rather easy to use. I can safely say that I have never once brought a pair of trousers that had with them a load of manuals that I didn't understand. And, perhaps more importantly- when they do go wrong, the consequences are very often rather amusing- at least if not for the individual in question, then for any casual observers. When this is juxtaposed with our previous contrasting wossname- namely the computer- we consider the consequences of a computer going wrong, and it's no fun for anyone. At all. I mean, maybe the computer enjoys it, I couldn't possibly hazard a guess at what computers do for fun, but I don't. And I consider that to be the most important part of the whole kaboodle. Rather obvious, when you come to think about it, really.
You know, now that my initial- and, I might add, rather worrying and confusing- enthusiasm for trousers has worn off, I'm finding myself at something of a loss for things to say about them. I mean, there isn't really a great deal one can say in favour of trousers, other than they look more dignified than the aforementioned shorts and are, amongst people like me- that is, males- more socially accepted than say skirts or dresses. Although, heaven knows, things may change. I suppose, though, that 'trouser' is one of those great words, like "squirrel" and "porch" that just sound fantastic.
At this point, I would like, if I may, to make an observation. A complaint, if you will. Anyway, the complaint is: why the HELL won't this program thing let me paste stuff? I mean- that's truly absurd. Which means that I could either painstakingly copy out what I've just diligently written in word, but, believe me, that's not going to happen, or I could ignore it until later and take this oportunity to say- Computer, i hate you with the fires of a thousand firey suns. And, would you believe it! it won't even let me copy this?! what, in the name of goodness gracious, is going on?! I stand amazed. Well, I'm sitting down. But, even so, i'm quite amazed. Well, whatever, I've run out of things to complain about for now, so I'll pootle off, if I may, and antagonise people until I find something better to do. I think it could take a while.
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