Poetry
return to main page
by GenMaximus110
DECLARATIONS OF AN INSANE MAN

Chemical reactions formulating,
What is to be stimulating.
You think this decision is my own?
It advanced with me as I've grown.
Yet I've not known another way,
So I grasp it and let it stay.
Very comfortable with myself, I am.
Why should I change?  I don't give a damn.
UNTITLED

A strong emotion has come over me,
Nothing this powerful experienced before,
I knew I had to release this energy,
Give it to the person that it was created for.

So with a breath I took that bound,
Plunging myself into a foreign situation,
I prayed for a welcoming response,
Nothing that would bring about confrontation.

As he approached, you could read it in his smile,
The answer unraveled from behind Mystery's door,
That response for which I deeply prayed,
Pressure lifted, Relief free to soar.

Outstretched - his hand searched to thank me,
I accepted, but for me to give congratulation,
For it is he who should be receiving,
This is not about me; but him - my inspiration.
EXPRESSION

Reflecting back upon the reasons why,
Motives unknown to simple passers-by,
Explanations never seem well defined,
To sum up what's in mind.
For I can try to get the point across.
Tragically enough, it gets lost.
All inside that wants to escape,
Only gets to anticipate.

Even though I'm the one to receive and send,
It's okay, I know my own heart in the end.
THE REASON I NEVER CAME DOWN FROM THAT DAMN CEILING

The emotion expressed now, relatively is a byproduct formulated by the events of the present, yet there are such occurrences as to when that byproduct can be rooted so deeply into the core that it can affect the outcome for a continuation lasting much longer than can be anticipated.
UNTITLED

Happiness - a Chariot of variables and instabilities; n'er a fair ride; but thee are at thy reigns, self-guidance en passage through thy boundless path. Time - tis a mere vessel for thee to exploreth; ere it goes en what becometh of it; tis in thine palms; direct it cautiously hence no fear to apply thine imagination. Taketh heed thy opportunity to engraveth that which thou desires. Dareth not to shy away from encouraging Audacity; maketh him hearken to thine demand, for thou canst obtain pure bliss if thou doth not follow thine Heart's intentions.
~A single entity, when let alone to fester for years, without an outlet of expression, builds pressure and creates enough force to weaken and tire its host. And I had fallen under this spell, it hurt so much to keep certain things hidden from those I love, never knowing if I could ever find sanctuary within. But that has changed. As the pressure mounted, and I began to feel myself get pulled down from the gravity of that entity, and I despised it - despised the fact that things could be so much better and I, the only one who could change that. So I took a breath and realized what I had to do, and I accomplished it. And for all this, it was worth it.~
THE CONCEPT OF ATTRACTION

My pleasure and my pain - always you remain
When introduced to your countenance - Chaos went insane
With my chariot of passion - my strength does not control the reigns
As I provoke an attempt to let you go - Reality feigns

The catalyst refuses to elude the imagination
That is the concept of attraction
THE WALL

The green structure
Beaten and bruised
Left to zero recognition
No one seemed to notice
No one seemed to care
That it silently aches to be mended
For the value decreases in the current state
NOT IN THE BATHROOM

You're sweating
And you're breathing
Getting caught with your pants down
While you entertain yourself....

You had such a grin on your face
Why did it vanish?
Can't you get off, even though I'm looking?
It's not like anything changed at all
Except for my feelings towards you
And you never seemed to care before

So go back to your touching
...and your shoving
...and your teasing
I hope you fuck yourself as good as you did me
UNTITLED

Circle this, I said, albeit a round about.
Take the glorious ways around, and then you'll find out,
What lies on the other side, way beyond and far out.
Let me guide you through this holy experience.
NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU

There is nothing more
                   that I desire for
                              burning in my heart's core
                                        more than you

I move myself within the sound
                   of the earphoria I've found
                              so that it may compound
                                         traces of you
REVEL

*Provoke the grandeur
                 -whistle back the decency
                 -move beyond reality

*Remove the support pillar
                 -accept to balance on your own
                 -prove it so that you have grown

*Tempt genetics and fate
                 -express that you're an individual
                 -and that your soul is ever perpetual
RIDE THE WAVE

An ocean with the scent of Spring
Crests over and envelopes this vessel
And yet I do not resist or wrestle
Flowing, I let myself go without cling

Tumbling through the pacifying tide
Its turbulence is not that of distraction
Her gentle voice surrounds me in refraction
Within her, from the rest I may hide

And as the competition takes prisoners in defeat
I'm able to keep a smile while knowing this:
Experiencing her magic is living in bliss
Without it I could not call myself complete
YOU

Lusting over your handsome countenance
---My fingers tremble as I
-----press my hand to my chest
-----overwhelmingly beating because of you

So difficult of being able to contain my emotions
---It's almost necessary for a physical barrier
-----to restrain myself from you

Yet in this struggle I understand
---I cannot act on these feelings
-----It could ruin everything that has been built

And I would not sacrifice this friendship
---And make a martyr of it for vain
-----I appreciate the tangible you give
-----and keep the intangible for myself
ROSETTA STONE
Like evading distant suns while careening
Through unknown galaxy after another
Just as how I decide to live this life
Not troubled by the pressures of a financial debate
I can freely move between obstacles
And truly be one with this course I run on
There is no right or wrong on which path you choose
To each, an own - forever an opinion
If you're content on the cycle or the broken loop
Then it should not be any other way

ROSETTA STONE 2
Glorify this moment
It shall never occur again
When time arrives to look back when
If you refused to embrace the power
Then you cannot appreciate to full extent
Take heed in the present
Justify the ability to inhale
And prove there is no absolute limit
For you are offered just one taste
Before it slithers away into the rejected
Make a martyr of the opportunity

ROSETTA STONE 3
Unlock your fate with the key of desire
For there is no meaning behind the veil
If you canst gaze into the visage
And determine the beauty of its self-worth
Concentrate on the blood that flows through veins
Of the heart that yearns to be heard
You can hear the rhythm of life if you try
Constant and visible through thick or thin
If you dare to listen

ROSETTA STONE 4
A variable magnitude ebbing out towards me
Consumes my presence with a strong aura
Practically demanding I grasp the reigns
Ride this adventure beyond all imagination
It does not expect nor care if I comprehend
Ever the tenacious greed and stubborn attitude
"I shall change you for the better!" it preaches
A baptizing voice, so veraciously calming
Warm to the touch; naked to the eye
It needn't be so stubborn
For I understand before it speaks
Believe me, the feeling is mutual

ROSETTA STONE 5
Labeled as insanity for declaring my intent
For pursuit of the seemingly insignificant
Who pounds the gavel of judgement in such cases?
FAILURE

My bloodshot eyes full of fright
Staring out between the cracks
Of the monstrous hand around my face
Suffocating my sense of living
Confined here on the edge of reality
And as I gaze from where I'm restrained
Just shy a few steps from my goal
Shangri La  - eternal happiness
I'm only allowed to view from afar
And inhale the fragrant of its beauty
But most valuable - to touch and feel
That access is denied and I
Weep here in my desolate prison
Knowing what could've been but never shall
For I lost my will to possess imagination
I'M TALKING TO YOU

Disgusted with the face of everything
I placed into my heart with love and respect
Celebrating my feelings should never hurt this way
I suppose I only have myself to hate for slipping in
Yet human nature to blame the figure of topic
But when I burn this fuel for despising you
This overflow subsides, granting a form of release
Only temporary it be, but it's better than choking
On this passion unrequited I used to have for you
Certainly distant from being mutual and returned
But after this anti-passion burns and smokes away
I'm left with this emotion of hating myself
I hate myself because I never wanted to dislike you
It used to bring me such pleasure having you here
Someone I could find adoreably attractive and to love
Even if I could never 'love' you - I didn't care
You enlightened my way of living just talking with you
But then it started to feel like I wasn't talking 'with' you
Sure words were ascending from your mouth
Yet they weren't for me - just generalizations
So I tried to get you to develope the unparticular
Something I could claim as my own - a gift from you to me
But it seems you don't realize or don't care
That there was nothing more important to me
And now I can't say if I'm just greedy for everything
Or if that should even matter when it comes to this
For it was true and honest love that I felt for you
And it hurt me more than I could ever have imagined
V-NECK

You gave me no option
This eagle has descended
And justified my choice
Granting libery to the party
My intentions were so holy
Yet you...
.....chose not to indulge
Wide-eyed, I take you into vision
-under observation
-passing judging penetration...
......................damnit!  Someone has to!!!

I understand it was never right
But does that make it always wrong?
Take this then...
As however you choose to
It can be yours...
However you choose to
Rick,

I'm letting it go
Or at least I'm trying deathly hard
I know it's not what I ever wanted
But I just can't choose at will
Make the best out of what is sent
Try to learn anything from the experience
That can hold some value for the future
And since I'm analyzing this now
I might as well try to think of that value
.....
As much as it hurts, I've concluded
It's still better when I'm giving
I still treasure those days I did
And even though it seems it was wasted on you
I don't wish it back
Always think of it as a gift from me
I hope you enjoy yourself

Sincerely,

Matthew T.
REDISCOVERING COMMUNICATION

Rapidly tapping my foot on the ground
Anxiously hyper in myself I have found
Letting life consume my presence with sound
Onward I press for new happines, I'm bound

And recalling the days that I did digress
The light-hearted emotions that I did suppress
And when I realized it had become a big mess
Turned it around, life is not to be a guess

And this is how I desire to be
Laughing at mistakes, smiling gleefully
I think I've been punished enough for eternity
It feels much better with this mentality
GEN X

When I see your face
And when I gaze into your eyes
Everything I want to be
In you, I materialize

A spitting image of what is dedication
A grand influence; he's my inspiration
THE TOUCH OF THE ABUSED

We've got nothing to lose
A group of people who through life been used
And we will not tolerate this to continue

Together we must stand fused
This destiny you force we refuse
And no longer the touch of the abused

We are not a substance to be used
We decided that our fate we will choose
And shall leave you as the accused
ALL ABOUT YOU
ALL ABOUT ME

Business begot the disapproval of friendship
Continue playing along, being grounded
Who bloody needs companionship
When you have a life of work at hand?
Smile at me gently
What about that ten minutes?
Don't worry, won't hold it to you
I mean, yeah, you were right
10 minutes - what would we talk about?
Forget I mentioned it
Then again, it was your idea
Which can't help but to make me laugh
Hearing those words extend from you
I never put any regard to it
I think I knew better
But that's okay
MIND SET

Beginning the spiral motion out towards
Evolving another notch unto my belt
Experience the rarely viewed upon
A circumstance of great proportions
Investigating into the so unknown
Somewhere is where we're meant to be, right?
Somebody is who we're told to be, no?
What if we don't meet these expectations?
Don't you dare tell me that i'm not adding up
I'll judge the situation accordingly
And I'll get back to you
AN ASSOCIATE'S OBSERVATION

The greatness of this
The fabrication of...
Whatever happened to the ways it used to be?
How did it slip before us?
Cogs of Fate grinding opposite now
So easily we can point a finger
Yet always pondering just how
Argumentative - our mentality
We were granted ability to empower ourselves
Yet it seems progression is travelling backwards
Towards, not forwards, against a 'desired' gravity
Like fine leather; the ideals here
Luxurious intentions jaded by convenience of time
A constant struggle to keep the condition suitable
In the end ( because it is inevitable )
Like that leather, you become expendable
Retraced and then replaced
A form of a very mysterious way to save face


AN ASSOCIATE'S OBSERVATION part 2

I bear myself a witness to
A change in group behavior attitude
If it's steadfast in this current course
Then deprivation of the original source

I am witness to this foul we bear
Left united in this lack of care
And instrumented into what they disapprove
Struck down when we stimulate a move

Bear a witness, I do myself
Toast my opinion with faith and health
Speak loud with words, my feelings here
Struggle to confide to a deaf ear
SERVICE PATENTED

This is quite something or other
Deepened, I want to share with another
Congratulations I admit to myself
The benefit of good mind and health
That sparkle in a stride or two
A neighbor paradise I've fallen onto
Whistle back the distant past
It's fundamentally necessary to last
Willingly put forth a proclamation
Insanely joyful is my declaration
HAZEL ROSETTA

God, she makes me feel so good
And any time I need it, she would
Don't even have to ask, it's just that way
It puts a warm place in my heart every day
Sometimes I think our position thought is a shame
So much more there, but never will, and no one to blame
It's just I am who I am and always will be
But I hold her close to me for all eternity
dispensing my depression through the form of colored liquid
helps to pacify this beast of intolerance

UNTITLED

The author of my own parable
Face of the familiar patronizing me
I laugh as I weep - misconstrued emotions
All aberrations from what they once were
Indignity and intolerance - a supremecy rule
Hysteria overwhelming my sense of judgement
Stomping my foot on myself; exstinguishing my soul
This is what I have become
Isn't it glorious?

PRONOUNCE!  PROCLAIM!
SHALL NOT REFRAIN!
SELF-DECLARED INSANE!
I BEG, COMPLAIN!

This is what I have become
A PERSONIFIED STIGMA

I can feel the tension being aroused
The pacified beast has been interrupted
Alert to the situation and prepared to commence
A reign of thrashing and tormenting
A turbulence of distortion to the status quo
Alone I cry wondering why this occurred
This unwilled detonation of the foundation
My heart has been flooded with false dogma
Causing me to lash out against humanity
Judging and interrogating the unexplored
Curious in figuring out the hidden identity
Is this a veil I'm gazing into?
Shrouding his very words in mystery
Or does he speak the truth directly?
Either way is passes a chill throughout me
Knowing the face I witness is a lie or
The person I know is not as human as I thought he was
Such confusion and anger felt
I abhor this
SO IT UNFOLDS

I've been procrastinating quite long enough
With dignity, following worthless dogma
The realization has dumbfounded me
Left a blinded and wounded heart
Beating helplessly for recognition
My third eye defenseless and unabled
No longer believing in backyard heroes
This is an end to a revelation
Such longevity in the previous
So difficult to jump stream now
Conformed to the flow of my olden will
Yet forced to pursue and rebuild
But desiring to give in before I begin
Some day - some way - they always say
Anything be possible with strong intent
But the trouble being the one in distress
Is I'm apethetic towards anything constructive
Heeding to advice is not within my priority list
My situation beckons a different approach
One that hasn't been called to attention
And that probably never will
Left to hope it fades over the span of time
UNTITLED

Dancing on the edge of Sanity
My mind is ignorant and my heart is pure with arrogance
No need for further questioning
I'm steadfast in stubborness
THE SHINE IN MY SHOES

Reclined in this position, I find myself
Gazing over sands. I know too well
There has to be more that beckons
Than this hopeful waiting
I sell.

A face
Determines the ghost of who I am.
This countenance, I so desperately embrace.
A lingering entity, so difficult to trace,
Builds foundations of this structural base.


How I descend into pattern astounds me;
In such uncertain a time,
I need to formulate and calculate a rhythm
to predict the outcome of reality.

I cannot forgive myself for entering such a state;
I never realized my emotions as such a debate.
TIME

The flowing ebb
So distant, so receptive
A calculated friendship
And no matter how audacious the host
The parasite remains steadfast
Yet as tenacious as it may be
You can weave your own integrated pattern
Into the fabric and learn to coinside
UNTITLED

Present to me underneath this rigid layer
My inner sight attracted to the subtle
Heeding nothing important in society's view
I can fathom internal beauty and recognize
That this necessary procedure is here
Waiting on a critical decision
What whall it be?
Be it redemption of that subtle
Or rejection to save face?
I CAN NEVER TELL

What was once said,
Ringing true to my beliefs,
It was there.
Along came a period
Where it had been erased from all knowledge,
What was set in stone
Had been vanquished
Through the hands of a lack of trust.
Recent inquisistions
Have fueled a desire
To investigate into it once again,
Trying to spark that interest,
Something I would not necessarily mind,
But there are few complications in the process
That impedes progress,
But I am trying to overcome.
PART I

I am such a fool to think
*that I could have happiness.
*that he would realize the importance.
*that everything would be perfect.

I am such a fool to waste
*my hopes on something so fragile.
*the time in trying so hard.
*my love on something so impossible.

I am such a fool to feel the way I do.
Everything I want seems to vanish into....

Nothing.

Why the hell are emotions so INCORRIGIBLE?



PART II

Drowning in rejection and loathing the outcome.
Experiencing a loneliness that has never been suffered before.
2 million reasons why I love you but you'll never understand.
I'm such a fool to think it mutual what I cared for.
LONG LOST

Buried deep within the confines
In the vault of Secret's labyrinth,
Something passionately burns to express itself.

Yet contemplating what could become,
He knows better than to speak aloud,
Even though it aches to never tell,
It's better than summoning a crowd.

"The idea of confiding hearkens to me,"
Says the lonely soul to himself.
Anticipation of emancipation grows.

He writes this now to make it clear
Exactly what the interference be,
And he knows there is no happy ending
To this troublesome fantasy.

One reading this just might concur
That the writer must be depressed.
When in actuality, events are opposite.
He is simply over-obsessed.
BACK TO THE TOP
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1