| How to attract someone of the other gender Part 2: for females (most is compiled info. from Public TV) |
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| Webmaster: John Gelhaus Click here: [email protected] |
| This page revised 11-28-05 |
| Blond. A lot of men DO prefer blonds. Hair color is trivial, but what attracts males to females & females to males when they 1st meet is often trivial. It's much more important to have good character & not worry about your hair color... Besides, some guys prefer ladies with bright blue hair. The blond preference is ONLY for the average guy. But if you want to go with just the odds, blond is the color. After being noticed & the guy gets to know your personality, hair color... has much less importance. If you don't like it that hair color matters, that's O.K.; I also wish it didn't matter, but research shows it does matter. If you have good self esteem, confidence, personality..., these might also be noticed by many people. Emphasize the blond. Wearing a black shirt or sweater will provide contrast that brings out the light coloredness of long, blond hair that is on the black shirt/sweater. (Black is also slimming, & I think I just invented the word "coloredness.") Suggestions for the non-blond. You could color your hair blond. If you think it shouldn't matter what color your hair is or want to stick with your natural color because it's natural & not fake & you're a natural-&-not-fake-kind-of-person, that's your decision--but you're not increasing your chances of getting noticed. If your hair is blond, stay blond. If your hair is a dark blond, you could color it a lighter blond. If guys are attacted to your dark hair, it might not make sense to become blond. And you're right if you think that hair color shouldn't matter; it shouldn't matter, but it does matter. Slender. If a women has an average sized waist compared to her hips, & if another women has a smaller than average sized waist compared to her hips, almost all men will think that the smaller sized women looks better (as long as other factors such as face, hair, age... are the same.) Even if the smaller sized women doesn't have blond hair & doesn't have quite as pretty a face, she will still be seen as overall more desirable. If a women has a small waist & another women has a smaller waist, the one with the smaller waist will look better. And yes, if a women has a very small waist & another women has a very, very small waist...well, you know the rest of the story. What to do if you're not slender (or better yet, very slender.) Get slender; you don't have to be Einstein to figure that out. Eat fewer calories (notice I didn't say eat less, I said eat fewer calories.) Excercise more. There are good ways to diet & bad ways; you might want to seek a professional's guidance. There is a difference between being healthily slender & being unhealthily slender; anorexia is an unfortunate extreme case, but even without being anorexic, your figure can still look only so-so even if you're very slender--without good excercise, you won't look fit with toned muscles; some slender people are flabby (flabby isn't good.) Wearing dark colors with small prints will aid in looking smaller. Wear thick soled shoes (looking taller makes you look proportionately more slender.) How to emphasize your slenderness. If you're around women who are somewhat larger waisted than you; you'll look relatively smaller waisted; but be carefull about being around very large waisted women at a time when you want someone to notice you--the man might look at the group & think, "This is a fat group with fat ideals," & not be interested in any of the members of that group (women of the same attractiveness usually hang out with each other.) Be around other slender women so men will think, "She's a member of the slender group;" (this is especially important if you're just barely slender;) but if all of the other women in the group are more slender than you, you'll look like the relatively "not-as-slender" one. Wear a belt when wearing either a loose dress or when wearing a long, bulky shirt; it'll help to show that there is a slender waist there (if there is air between your waist & the dress or shirt, people will find it more difficult to figure out if that space is air or if it's you.) Wear tailored outfits (jackets, shirts...) that are tapered in at the waist. Long hair. When looking at a person, men don't like to be confused as to whether the other person is male or female. If you have long hair (in this culture,) this helps to show that you are female. Sure, there are men with long hair; but if they have a beard or are shirtless, it's obvious they're male. How long to grow your hair. It's difficult to have hair that's too long. Recall singer Crystal Gayle--very popular & pretty with hair down to here (& she isn't even blond.) Have you EVER heard a guy say that any woman's hair is too long? Give up attitudes that exclude others. These would be the attitudes of not prefering men who are short, younger, not wealthy, don't make as much money as you, too light skinned, not very healthy... Just because your genetic code, based upon 100s of 1,000s of years of evolution, has given you preferences, it doesn't mean you can't heroically overcome them. But I can't stand the thought of compromising on my firm 1st choice preferences of the man being tall... Take a relaxation class; do yoga; imagine your life with no partner & childless as the decades go by; be brave--muster up the courage to be interested in a man 4 years younger... Smell good. The sense of smell is more emotionally evocative than any other sense. There are 40 million nerves from the nose to the brain's ofactory center. This center is surrounded by the limbic region which controls emotions & has a key role in memory. (I read this on the Internet, so it must be true.) Optimize your aroma aura. Don't bother with phermones; there is no evidence they work; a man's sense of smell doesn't work that well (if it used to work that well 1,000s of years ago, it's been lost.) Wear perfume. But there are so many from which to chose! How do you chose? Find out what the men like, not just what smells good to you. When you're at a store with a group of people, purposefully go near the fragrance department; get numerous perfume bottles together, and ask the men which ones they like the best--you'll get an answer right from the horses mouth, I mean nose. Go to the shampoo shelves, pop open different kinds, & have the men tell you what smells best. Pretty face. Acne isn't good; smooth skin is highly desirable. A small nose & small ears look good. High, fairly prominent cheekbones are a plus. Having a forehead that goes up fairly straight is feminine (rather than the very slanted, Neanderthal look.) Also feminine is having a wide mouth. Have hair with body to it. I look like a Neanderthal; what can I do? Wear bangs that poof outwards towards the top to hide your Neanderthal forehead. What else can help? Get a nose job. Have your hair cover at least part of your ears. When you get the idea to put your long hair up into a bun, think twice (if you still have the idea to put your long hair up into a bun, think thrice;) what men like less than a woman with short hair: a woman with long hair who puts it up in a tight bun (with the hair near the forehead pulled tightly back against the scalp.) Oh, sure, it's cooler that way in hot weather, but what do you want, better regulated temperature or guys being attracted to you? Also, use bright red lipstick; use it all the way to the very corners of your mouth to make your mouth look as wide as possible. Good with kids. Part of your job of being a potential wife is to be seen as a good mother. What if you don't think you're good with kids? If you're not good with kids, get good (or else emphasize your ability to do gardening, sewing, cooking, organinzing... so that he'll know you'll be good in those indirect ways for kids.) Age. Men like younger women (which works out well 'cause women like older men.) What you can do to look younger. Have your ears partially covered with your hair or a hat. Get nose surgery to make your nose smaller. Don't be in the sun too long, or your skin will wrinkle prematurely. Stay fit & energetic. Elbows & walking. Walk with your elbows slightly in; you'll have the manly walk of John Wayne if your elbows are pointed away from your sides. What else you should know about men. Giving directions (geographically.) Men's brains are set up to use N-S-E-W directions more than women's brains. Say the name of the road, what direction to travel, how far to travel on that road (miles or blocks,) the name of the next road & the direction to turn onto that road. You can also give names of roads right before that one (to know the road is coming up) & the name of the road after it (in case the wanted road is gone past.) A meal: a win-win situation. Cooking a meal shows you can care for people, including future children. It gives you a chance to use your language skills & communicate with him. Is a man's heart through his stomach? Partly. It's a good activity on a 1st date; it's a good way to get to know each other (it's difficult to get to know each other if you're watching a movie.) Object oriented. Men tend to be more object oriented & less language oriented than women. If you give him an object as a gift, it doesn't have to be expensive; gadgets & age appropriate toys will be appreciated--men can be very young at heart. Some of it has to do with the ways their brains are set up (it's in the genes.) Men like to fix things; maybe you have some things that need fixing (of course, amature "repairs" sometimes turn out worse than before the "repair.") Theories as to why these things are so: It goes back to cave people days. Oh sure, there are recent environmental factors & current cultural "fashions," but the human brain evolved over 100s of 1000s of years, if not longer. The survival of ancient people impacted which genes were passed along to future generations; genes have an impact on how we think & act, including this toipic. As to why men prefer blonds, I have no idea. When men were attracted to slender & very slender women during the time of cave people, this helped to assure that in the event of a crisis (of which there were probably many,) the women could move quickly in the short & long run (literally, "run") to escape danger. If the women didn't escape from the tiger, warring strangers, or rock slide, she couldn't take care of current children, & couldn't be the future mother of any men; her genes & those of her current children might not be passed on. If a man was attracted to a large-waisted women, there was also the possibility that she was already pregnant; this didn't bode well for having children to carry on the genes of the new man. Even young boys like to play with Barbie dolls; Barbie is proportionally very slender (& has long, blond hair.) Women have more fat--I mean lipids--than men because women need enough calories to get through 9 months of pregnancy; during cave people days, this was especially important for survival during times when food was very scarce; even when a women isn't pregnant, there are still more lipids everywhere. Men would notice people more with long hair from a distance. If women were more likely to have long hair because they didn't hunt in the thick woods where their hair could get in the way, then men were more likely to walk over to women if they saw their long hair from a distance. Acne shows that you're too young for the guy to be serious about you; women who were very young had (& still have) a higher chance of giving birth prematurely; a prematurely born child is prone to being underweight, having undeveloped lungs, & a greater chance of death. Men who avoided such women had a higher chance of having their children survive & carry on the man's genes. Having bright red lips shows the man that you are healthy. If eyesight were severely damaged, a person during cave people days would find it harder to survive or take care of kids; men who preferred women with prominent cheek bones (protective of the eyes) were more likely to survive & bear children & carry on that preference. Unhealthy people sometimes have unhealthy looking hair (no body to it, blah.) Women have attitudes that exclude a lot of men because their genes are telling them to pick the best men for the survival of themselves & their children. But the "survival/no survival" fear is based on antiquated conditions. You exclude short men because 250,000 years ago, tall men were more likely to be big & strong & in authority, so they were more likely to defend you & your children adequately as well as provide necessities for your family--which increased chances of survival & the passing on of that "tall" preference in your genes. The same logic applies to your preferences of not wanting younger men (who were less likely to have proven that they can provide & defend,) unhealthy, not wealthy,... Very dark skinned women today usually aren't interested in light skinned men; maybe that combination didn't help to strengthen the species. Very light skinned women today are usually interested in dark skinned men; maybe that combination helped to strengthen the species. The extremes of discrimination by women (& I mean EXTREMES) shows that women are much more selective in choosing a mate than are men; if these extremes weren't manifest along the 100s of millennia, the human species might have become extinct by now. So, thank you very much. But the world is much different now. (Read that last sentence again. And again.) You can relax your standards & the species will still survive. So what if the guy isn't taller than you!! You can intellectually keep your anxiety in check--it won't eliminate this automatic response, but it can help. If you marry the short guy, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT as far as height goes!!!--even though your genes are telling you otherwise; you know your genes are telling you something when you feel uneasy with the thought of a short man, younger man,... Many women probably don't have what it takes (the will power...) to overcome what their genes are telling them; the power of the genes is very, very strong. When the men were out on a hunt, they covered large areas & needed a good sense of direction to get back to the cave. They'd travel in various directions & circle around when hunting--they couldn't just retrace their steps & depend upon landmarks. That's all for the theories; they're just theories, not proven. And shouldn't you be doing something with your hair instead of sitting in front of a computer screen? To be continued. |
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