�Grand address,� said Lady Macbeth with her hands on my back, �and a grander dress.� We laughed like children. I love Lady Macbeth; she makes me feel free (I should then love R too - he too makes me feel free).
I was ready to go home at 2:30, but deliberately waited till 3:00. Perhaps I wanted to show off my sari to him. He came at 3:00 precisely. At least, he is punctual, I thought. He roamed about in the portico with his hands in his pocket. then he saw me and stared, and came up to me. �I say, oh goodness - why a sari? It is beautiful.�
�Hello,� I tried to be aloof. But I couldn�t. I told him about my speech, and he listened in rapture. �Oh, I was always a failure on the stage. Say, do you act, too?�
�Not now,� I said. I felt free and light. A burden was off my mind. If he wanted to be friends, I�d be too.
�You are looking very nice today,� he said slowly.
�Never say that to me again,� I warned him. One of my classmates called out to me, �Geeta!� I didn�t know what to do, so I told him, �Listen, my name is really Geeta, not Meera.�
He nodded with a twinkle in his eyes, and said, �You little crook! why didn�t you say so that day?�
�Meera is a better name,� I excused myself. When I came back, it was almost time to go home. He said, �Blue suits you.�
I asked him about his designation, and he replied, �I�m an admiral.� I was thrilled, but he was joking again. I said his jokes were stale ones. He told me a lot about himself. That mod. girl was his stepsister; that he had a stepfather.; that he was afraid of awfully mod. girls - or so he said - the car was his father�s; the mobike was his own; that Geeta was a nice name; that he had a brother too who was in Bombay, learning to act; that he would be in Lucknow for two months at the most...
Then we both went away. He came on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, after that, when I could be free 2:30 and stayed till 3:15. That Pammi, as he called her, used to stare at me in the library with a very surprised expression in her eyes, but no one dared to tease me about having a boyfriend. We always kept standing here and there, never did the idea of going into the waiting room occur to us. He never said anything which would frighten me - except once, when he asked me if I could go to �Ganj with him. I refused pointedly, but instead of being offended he said, �Just as I thought.�
I felt happy and secure. What a lot of sunshine he had brought into my life! I had never felt so happy since three years. And he never seemed to notice my kurta and dupatta. He spoke a lot about the ships, the navy life, the discipline, the parties, and ragging. I asked him if he drank. �Yeah,� he said, then saw my disgusted expression. �you see, you have to do it there. But I never do it here.� And strangely, that reassured me, because as long as he was sober here, I�d have a very decent friend in him.
One day I asked him why he was interested in me, and not in other girls who were better than me in all ways. �What ways?� he asked. I said I was short, fat, bookworm, dud, poor in comparison and couldn�t cook any food compulsorily. He was indignant. He was indignant. �What do you mean? Do you think I�ll fall flat on my nose for a girl like my stepsister or like her friends. They -they don�t know what to wear. Always going out with some new chap!�
�So what?� I said. �They are pretty...�
�And you are not? Oh, all right. Do you want me to tell you like other chaps that I admire your eyes, your lips, your face, your complexion, your hair?�
I had never expected such a strong retort. I withdrew into myself, because I was hurt. He saw it, and became jovial again. �You are a little terror, little girl. Shall I tell you that you are an elephant or a rhinoceros?�
�Don�t call me a little girl, please. I don�t want any kind of personal comment from now on.�
�Big girl then... But don�t ever underestimate yourself like that.�
The next day he brought a photograph of himself with five other young fellows - all in white dress, looking very handsome indeed. looked at it for a long time while he told me who was who. The he said, �Do you believe now, that what I am what I say?�
I was astonished that he knew that I didn�t believe him at all the time. I saw his eyes sparkling with satisfaction. �You are a very young girl as yet, and I am a wicked old pirate.�
He put me at ease at once by his frank laugh. Then he said that he would be in the city for one week more - said it very seriously and sadly. �Can you wear a sari next Tuesday?�
I said I�d try, because I felt he was feeling estranged.
Get your own Free Home Page