JULY 31, 2003: NOT SO SATISFYING
Well, that ache continues, and it isn�t surprising. I am fat and back ache tends to come to those who are. It also helps that as a youngster I fell of a horse in the middle of nowhere and succeeded in landing flat on a slab of concrete! A few years later I fell out of a moving vehicle and no ore than two days after that, unable to walk properly, I tripped over a wire, banging up my foot and back in the process. For years I was not able to stand straight now walk long distances of the pain in my back would become unbearable and spread to my leg. My foot on the other hand spent years feeling like it should be broken! Argh, the pain of those years, the only thing really making them any better would be getting pregnant. Yessire, it fixed my back up pretty good.
But now it aches to hell again, and it wasn�t all worth it because all that exercising yesterday and being careful what I ate, I gained a kilo. It is starting to get me down. I am thinking about going low carb again but it just isn�t as much fun. I will do some aerobics in a minute hoping that a little exercise may help my back. First I am going to do a horoscope entry, separate so I can find it when I want. Cheers.

238 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 0925HR. COMMENT.

LONG TERM INFLUENCES
Temporarily paralyzed *** Valid during many months: This can be a period of confusion and uncertainty in which your life direction becomes unclear. Even if you have previously felt that you knew what you were doing and why, now you may encounter circumstances that force you to question your assumptions. Your will may seem to be temporarily paralyzed, and you won't have your usual energy. In fact this influence can coincide with times of low physical vitality and low psychological energy. For this reason you should avoid unnecessary physical stress and follow good health habits to maintain strong overall resistance to illness. But it is much more likely that this influence will result in disorientation, as alluded to above. You may experience disappointments in your work, career or even in your home life that make you feel defeated and dispirited. But you must not sit back and allow this reaction. Certainly you may suffer defeats during this time, but these defeats occur only when you do something that is not a true reflection of yourself. Because your total energy as a human being is not behind your actions, you don't push through with the vigor that would guarantee success: hence your failure. You should avoid several types of activity during this time, because your insecurity about yourself will make them turn out badly. First, this is not a particularly good time to become involved in spiritual or mystical sects. Your sense of self needs nourishment and growth, not denial. You are not yet ready for that, and the teachings of such groups are likely to confuse you and retard your development as a human being. Similar warnings apply to the study of the occult in general. Second, avoid risky or speculative ventures, because your sense of reality is too weak to appraise the risks accurately. Besides, you are likely to be swindled. If you are having trouble in your work, avoid the temptation to change jobs now. Later, when you understand your needs better, you may be able to make the change. Any new job you start now would not be an improvement over the present one. Transit selected for today (by user): Neptune Square Sun activity period from end of April 2002 until end of November 2004.

The right moves *** Valid during several days: This is a very pleasant influence, although you may not feel it very strongly. But if you know it is coming, you can act in certain advantageous ways during this period. However, you will have to take the initiative, which you may not want to do, because one effect of this influence is to make you feel very pleasantly unambitious. It may be difficult to rouse yourself to action. Therefore this is a good time for a relaxing vacation or any other kind of good time that doesn't require much energy. This influence favors relationships, romantic and otherwise, because you are able to project warmth and friendliness more easily than at other times. You are attracted to other people, and they are attracted to you. Sometimes this influence can signify the beginning of a major love relationship. At the very least you feel like flirting and drawing in people who are similarly inclined. If you have to make a good impression on someone, this is the time. You are much more able to feel the subtle nuances of relationships, which helps you make the right moves. On top of that, your feelings for other people are sincere, which they recognize and respect. You will be attracted to pleasant and beautiful surroundings at this time and more than usually repulsed by ugly and sordid conditions. You may very well feel compelled to do something about such conditions if you encounter them now. Financial affairs usually run quite well at this time. Money may come your way unexpectedly and if so, you will probably be tempted to spend it on something frivolous. Follow your own conscience! Transit selected for today (by user): Jupiter Sextile Venus activity period from 26 July 2003 to 5 August 2003.

A calming effect *** Valid during many months: This very positive influence could have a beneficial or even downright balmy effect on your life. If you can actively work with this influence its positive aspect could have long-lasting effects on your mind and body. This influence makes it easier for you to access the hidden pain which most of us suffer at some time in childhood or adolescence, making it so much part of the human condition. You can now reach a deeper understanding of both the causes and the consequences of such pain. You may discover needs that have remained hidden or unacknowledged, helping you to admit and accept them. You don't try to hide your weaknesses and are prepared to admit to your vulnerabilities. This willingness will help you to discuss painful past episodes with a close friend or therapist without feeling sorry for yourself. During this time you can better accept old wounds, possibly being able to mourn in a way that seemed impossible up until now. You can make peace with shadows from your past and neglected sides of your nature, which will make you more natural and relaxed. By revealing your feelings and wishes to others you can have new experiences which your behavior up until now has prevented you from having. Transit selected for today (by user): Chiron Trine Chiron activity period from mid of January 2003 until mid November 2003.

"Crazy" *** Valid during many months: This influence will create tensions and sudden changes in your personal and emotional life. Every little tension that you have suppressed over the last several years will suddenly seem to surface and demand to be released in some way. In your close relationships, such as to parents and partner, problems that you have been ignoring may reach the point that you have to deal with them. In an intimate relationship, this influence can have the effect of either you or your partner suddenly breaking away and seeking a relationship elsewhere. But that would happen only if the tension between you has been very severe and neither of you has been doing anything about it. In any case, you may have to make some changes in the demands you have been making upon each other. Your domestic life may be the source of considerable upsets now. There may be accidents in the home, a sudden need for house repairs, or other sudden problems on this front. Certainly this is not a good time to buy a home, because what you look for now will not reflect your usual needs. If you are forced to buy a new home or to change residence at this time, go ahead, but be very careful. The energy of the influence has already worked itself out by disrupting your previous home and forcing you to move. In general, you are seeking more emotional freedom at this time. If you can, change your existing relationships so that they embody what you are looking for. Otherwise, if you seek out new relationships, your personal life may be more disrupted than you want. Men in particular should be wary of this influence, because their attitudes toward women may be rather unstable now, which can result in upsetting relationships. Whatever you do, you will probably find that your emotional wants and needs are not consistent with those of the people around you. Others may think you are "crazy" (not clinically insane, of course), because of your actions at this time. But this is only a temporary period of instability, during which you will come to a new understanding of your emotional needs. Transit selected for today (by user): Uranus Square Moon activity period from begin of April 2003 until end of December 2004.

Be cautious *** Valid during many months: During this time you should watch the affairs of your life very carefully. Situations will arise suddenly that can be extremely productive and beneficial if you recognize them in advance or extremely difficult if you do not. Events happen so fast that you will not have the usual time to figure them out before you act. If you act too quickly, you may find yourself out on a very unpleasant limb, but if you don't act quickly enough, the chance is lost. Consequently this influence can produce both sudden losses and sudden gains. As a general rule, however, you would be well advised to be cautious. The opportunities you miss by acting slowly may not be worth the risk. This is a gambler's influence, and many people respond to it by taking very long-shot risks. It makes you want to gamble, but it does not make you especially lucky. In your relationships the theme of freedom will be emphasized. You may become restless and want to be free of an excessively restrictive relationship. You are inclined at this time to break away from secure situations and leap out into the unknown simply for the sake of the challenge. However, it may be that someone else will struggle to break free from your influence. Someone who has been with you a long time and has seemingly been satisfied may suddenly want out. But this is not likely to happen unless you both have been feeling a strain in your relationship, although you may not have chosen to recognize it until now. If you have been putting up with a tense and strained situation but not getting any benefit from it, you will break free of the tension now and probably experience an enormous sense of release. Even if you don't want to let go of the situation, you will probably be happier once it has gone. Transit selected for today (by user): Uranus Opposition Jupiter activity period from end of February 2003 until end of January 2004.

Wonderful opportunities *** Valid during several days: This influence indicates the beginning of a new cycle of growth and progress. However, it is often the focus of exaggerated expectations. You may expect sudden windfalls, great wealth or luck, and all kinds of wonderful opportunities. And these things do happen sometimes with this influence, but most people should expect more subtle, but equally useful effects. Events now, such as meetings with persons or even changes in your psyche, open the way for you to become wiser and more mature and to have a broader understanding of the world. At this time you will reach out consciously and unconsciously and ask more of the world, but at the same time you are willing to give more to the world. This influence can make you feel either more demanding or more giving toward others, but you are not likely to get much out of it if you think only of what you can get. The law of conservation of energy in the universe says that you can transform the energies in your life from one form to another, but you cannot create them out of nothing. This influence represents a time when you should see whether you are doing that in your life. Concretely, you can expect persons who are good for you to come into your life. Or circumstances will arise that give you increased freedom or an opportunity to do something that you have never done before. Educational opportunities may come to you at this time, or a chance to travel. Sometimes this influence does in fact bring about financial advantage, but you should not sit around passively waiting for it to happen. Transit selected for today (by user): Jupiter Conjunction Jupiter activity period from 24 August 2003 to 2 September 2003.

Calling a halt *** Valid during several weeks: This influence does not make you mentally aggressive, but you will probably feel quite good. The only area of tension will be your personal relationships. Use this energy to have a discussion with a loved one about the state of your relationship. You may discover that the two of you do not agree in as many ways as you thought. But if you speak in a spirit of compromise, you should have little difficulty in reaching a working agreement. If you proceed from a position of inflexible righteousness, there will be disagreement and discord that could sever communications for some time. Your attitude is very important. If you attend a social gathering, have a good time, but exercise restraint. Take note of how much you have indulged yourself and call a halt at a reasonable time.

Recognition *** Valid during many months: This influence will present many opportunities for achievement. At this time you will be able to strengthen many areas of your life so that they can withstand adversity later. But you have to take control of this moment. Nothing will be given to you without some effort on your part. You will have to exercise considerable care and responsibility and pay attention to what others require of you and the commitments you have made to them. This is not a "lucky" influence in the ordinary sense of the word, but it can be exceedingly fortunate for you, if you work hard to make it so. Recognition by others, particularly persons in authority over you, may come now. At this time you have more patience and perseverance than usual. You are able to work in a disciplined and careful manner and make your work enduring. This is an excellent time to tackle difficult and demanding projects. Even your health is better than usual, but that does not mean that you should abuse it. Instead, you should be building up your strength. In the not-too-distant future you will need your good health, so don't waste it now. This is a time of successful preparation for climaxes and periods of crisis to come. How well you are able to deal with the future depends largely upon what you do now. Transit selected for today (by user): Saturn Sextile Sun activity period from 3 September 2003 until beginning of June 2004.

Psychological explosions *** Valid during many months: With this influence you can expect rebellious and explosive energies to enter your life. You may begin to chafe at the restrictions on your life and break free of them, or others may rebel against restrictions that you have placed on them. You are likely to be in a fighting mood toward anyone who says that you cannot do something. You will act more impulsively and fly off the handle at the slightest provocation, especially if you usually tend to hold everything in. You want to assert yourself, and you are not terribly concerned about the obstacles you come up against. One manifestation of this influence can be a new fondness for taking risks. You take chances and do things that don't have much chance of working out. Subconsciously you may be trying to prove yourself by pulling off a "long shot" or making a big splash if you fail. But this can also lead to accidents and injuries, if you are rash. Sometimes you can suppress this feeling of rebellious self-assertion and make your life go on as if nothing were happening. But this is not a good idea, because the energy does not go away. If you suppress it, the result is some kind of physical illness that does not seem to be your fault. This influence signifies that you need to make changes in your life that will allow you to be more self- assertive than you have been. This influence may also affect your relations with other people. If others feel the need to be more assertive with you, let them state their case and then try to come to some accommodation with them. If you allow others to be themselves with you, it will be easier to be yourself with them. Trying to live according to your old plan is not likely to work out very well at this time. Psychological explosions are expressions of unresolved tensions that should have been handled before when there was less energy behind them. Even now it is not too late to handle them, if you are willing to be flexible. You may have to make truly revolutionary changes in your life, but you will benefit in the long run. Transit selected for today (by user): Uranus Opposition Mars activity period from begin of May 2002 until beginning of January 2004. Courtesy of: Astro.com

916 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 0933HR. COMMENT.

VIOLATED
I feel so, violated. Someone has used my toilet. So my toilet is an outdoor one (though just near the kitchen, so not too bad, but I didn�t realize until the day I moved in) and I went out to use it a moment ago to find someone had used it. I assume is is my landlord because he lives next door and all that, but really. How do I know? No, there was nothing floating, but I obsessively put the lid down when I am finished and when I went out there not only the lid was up, but the whole damned seat. I need to get out of here. Really. I just need to find and answer.

119 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 1028HR. COMMENT.

Name: energy
I like the pink and green. It feels very girly and soft, the kind of thing that make one happy to be a female as a guy would feel forced to pretend to not like it.