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here is a bunch of either... random, funny, stupid or wtf?! quotes... enjoy!
"My Grandmother once told me you have to stay in shape... she started walkin 5 miles a day at the age of 60, shes 97 today and no one knows where the hell she is!"

"The pen is mightier than the sword!!!...and considerably easier to write with..."

"the other night we had gay burglars break into our house...they didn't steal anything though... they just
re-aranged the furniture!"

"maybe there is no hell... maybe hell is a term we people use to describe listening to our grandparents breathe through their noses while they eat their sandwiches!"

"I got a new survey result through an email yesterday...apparently 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population..."

"the one thing that i am desperately trying to find out in life is, why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets???"

"a cure for sea sickness is to go and sit under a tree..."

"moving from england to italy is like oving to a different country!"

"you are about as usefull as a man who got both of his legs blown off in the war at an arse kicking contest!!!"

"my neighbour once asked me if he could use my lawn mower...i said "sure you can!" as long as you stay in my garden!"

"you can always tell German wine from vinegar by what the label says!"


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