Parlance - Sharanya Vemu

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Its time i took things easy in life and moved to a blogger site

http://theeternalsixyearold.blogspot.com

When India Votes .... 

It's with extreme pain and ire i write this .. Triskaidekophobik !! -- the fear of thirteen -at the risk of sounding clichéd I'll still go ahead and use it.. it was a fear I've been fearing about _ The counting ends and a new era is supposed to begin - new era as in a new government , a new set of rulers .

I am not a pro NDA / anti congress citizen here , am just an ordinary Indian techie who's bothered about tons of FDI flowing into India .I really don't care much about the ideologies ,agendas and bla and bla but what irks me the most - the most - is the inability of about crores of Indians zeroing in on an idea to be ruled by a foreigner !!! - now you might say n think ohh!! this one's all about Sonia Gandhi is it ? -- Heck no !!!!!! its about our fallacies in living upto ourselves - being proud of what we are ! -- its about our servile tendencies when we see the white race - and yeah we talk about racism !! we come as a package - the other races need not discriminate us , we are a discriminated servile lot. Yes India!! we are !!! We fail to understand and judge for ourselves - we need a family to save us, rule us oh god !!! we need the Gandhi family ,without which we cannot live - yet at the same time we're pioneers in technology , rocket science , economics bla bla bla .

I get up in the morning see the results and am all upset , UPSET !! and i talk to people around who are all - not so surprisingly -- UPSET !! -- , where have these votes come from ? which India is this that mandated a party to rule the country which until recently had a very tough time solving its internal problems and which went as far as being called "almost extinct" by the political pundits. Now readers am not an avid political enthusiast here and i cannot even understand stuff like the cow belt, the split in percentage of votes the percent increase and all the stuff these psephologists on ndtv talk about ,Anti incumbency factor- ? my Fuckin left foot !! we just need change .. good or bad .. we cant see things being the same !!! I still fail to understand do we guys even THINK when we press that darned button on the EVM ?It makes me realize that the "majority" of us were so awed with Aryabhatta's discovery that they stuck to that IQ Level .


Millions of people , loads of leaders , thinkers , pioneers where have they all gone ?? cant we ever ever dream of being a developed nation . If I were to have my way Vajpayee would lead , Arun Shourie would disinvest and Manmohan would make reforms and there would be the fresh faces like Sachin pilot - the vigor and youth i can associate myself with !- why cant i have my way .. why cant like minded people like me have their way . We cannot !! if we did we would be called partial , biased , inconsiderate . Graded voting is one thing which i always wanted or in the least case -- The right to vote - if you're educated ; if you're a literate .It Just doesn't happen that way - because there are the champions of masses , those who want to make a difference to the villages bla bla they get elected go to the senates and parliaments and on a power trip , and these champions of the masses after they get elected just don't give a FUCK !!! 

What India in its burgeoning stages to make its presence felt globally in terms of being a nation that can be emulated of-- needs Visionaries not champions of masses !!we need people who can make India Shine !!! i've borrowed it from NDA - yeah!! so what ?? it makes me "feel good" - it makes me feel like i want to be here , it makes me smile , the glossy campaigns were at the receiving end , Think of it ... How many of us didn't feel good about the whole thing ? didn't our chests swell with pride , didn't we smile at the big hoarding enroute office on a bright day and think -- yeah!! this is my India and i like it ? ,Alas !!! The majority ended up voting for the India Whining campaigners - Admit it Ladies and gentlemen we Indians want to dwell in self pity a feeling of wanting to feel bad and sigh and say the government hasn't done anything so we go ahead and choose 'em despite the fact that we'll be ruled by a foreigner .When will the leaders and the people realize that Development percolates down and we routed out a government which was just doing that !! Call centers for the Kisans !!! - will that be just a dream now ??

My pride of being an Indian today is hurt .. miserably miserably hurt !! Today when an other country citizen asks me who is gonna be your prime minister , I don't have an option but to look away bend my head down and walk off, And I have this same irritable feeling about the whole thing like am wearing the same underwear which I haven't  washed  in ten days !!!

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Three Guys And a two door car  

I'll tell you a story about - yes - Three guys and a two door car , now that might seem like a normal story after a cursory glance on the title , but people !! take my word .. its anything but  normal .

Not so long ago ( like about a coupla days .. ) in a small town called Westerville in Ohio one Mr. C ( now C is one of the three guys.. ) who was happily driving a big family car suddenly feels this immense need / desire in him which makes him to do a "thing" and that "thing" led to this story ofcourse! .

After that preamble - i'll get down to narrating the story , well .. Now this Mr C goes to his car rental - because C and the other two guys are in Westerville for a tiny tiny eon - it doesn't make much sense for them to buy a car more so when the company pays for the transport, Yeah so where was i ?? Mr. C and the car rental ! yes ! so Mr C goes to the car rental and lays his eyes on a gorgeous convertible , well most of us have this dream of the convertible and a blond next to you so fellow "men" he is not to be blamed at all !! And he realizes that he might 
not actually get the convertible-convertible for his allocated expenditure and a moon roof two door one is all he's gotta settle for - That piece of automobile in that geographic location of the world is called an eclipse - a Mitsubishi Eclipse not a solar / lunar one , i wondered why its named an eclipse but my doubts at a later point of time were dispelled just like the street dogs after they see the municpal dog pickup truck - a la plain-vanilla-no-where-in-vicinity.Anyways now coming back to Mr. C - true to his name "C" was our ( S & N's ) highly qualified chauffer , he doesnt get paid by the hour for his services , mmmm.. not even by the day nor the week . actually none at all :-) .

Mr. C comes back to the office from the car rental all excited , wanting to show his baby (adopted on a temporary basis) and painfully waits for the  time he can get back to the parking lot . The moment arrives at 5:00 PM like everyday.Hearing C's ravings about the car S & N also share the excitement and they all run to the parking lot like a bunch of school children after the school bell ! They look at the stunner in the parking lot,a couple of ooh's and aah's are heard , after all that admiring sessions reality dawns upon S & N , There are only two doors ! two freakkinnn doors !!!! the glint in their eyes now turns to an unknown feeling ( an uneven mixture of fear , anticipation , anxiety and awe) they both look at each other and then at C with this how-the-hell-are-we-supposed-to-get-into-the-car look , Mr C taking the cue and seeing N & S's apprehension grins like a boy just out of the candy store who's got all his pockets and hands full with candy and comes to the other side to tell  them how to get in , S being the tall guy was lucky in a way to get away with lesser ordeal , N being the shortest and the non-chauffeuring one was the only choice for being seated behind - when the door was ajar S & N saw that there was a seat for two people behind the front seats and that seat was like - was like the printer in my office - like you know - its there and nobody knows what to do with it ? still puzzled S & N look at C and C goes on now with the actual illustration of what is to be done .The drill goes like this , we open the door , push the front seat and then push N somehow the same way as we push the front seat into the car and then we completely "eclipse" him by pushing the front seat back in position just when he is in the backseat still trying to figure out what to do with his legs and wondering if he could get some kind of detaching mechanism so that he can just take them out and put them in the boot ! seeing the front seat coming on to him , he quickly puts both the legs on the seat for he cannot risk his legs getting crushed by the oncoming juggernaut - yeah that's the front seat ! .Its S's turn now to sneak into the car - he crawls in with his head first and then gathers his legs and drops them in front of the seat and while closing the door somehow manages to sit like most of the two legged creatures do - And now the major part of getting to the car is over ,S looks  for the seat belt and N hands it over for him from behind - the seatbelt in that wonderful piece of machinery for some reason is exactly in between the front and back seats for the passenger who's next to the driver . When all this is happening C with his candy-store-grin looks at all the buttons and starts pushing them around with a feverish delight and zoom goes the moon roof - which slides back on top and suddenly we get space to raise our hands up and out of the car just in case if we didn't know what to do with them. 

For S & N the luckiest thing was that the office was just a mile and a half away from where they live so they just had to be eclipsed for about a few minutes . Another moment of reckoning comes when they realized that they had to get out of it - This time it was like scampering for lives / breath and freedom for S & N .

S scurries out of the car like a squirrel out of a burrow and then pushes the front seat all the way ahead and N comes out of the car - first his legs dangle out and then his hands push his body out and then his head comes out weirdly and then he is somehow finally outta the car.

p.s : Two door cars are only for two people :-) / All characters in this story are real and not fictional at all <mail me for their names;-)>!

Jus a Small Update'

In Columbus OH , will update the address , ah heck !!! why does one need snail mail anywayz !!! e-mail works the same the phone number is  508-207-7024 , you've gotta prefix a 1 if u're in US or 001 if u're not :-p anyways , things look fine here .. waitin to here from you guys .. i'll hit the sack now .. !!and yes i'll be connected 24 x 7 ! 

Learning

Have you ever wondered why you have expectations ,why you have emotions ,why you get hurt ,why you exult , why you feel joy ?what makes you cry and what makes you smile ? The answer - is simple , you were taught to do this - now who "taught" you all this , the world around you  did -- is this wrong ? well .. if u can be happy all the time it aint , when we're taught things in a school at any age we choose to absorb things which interest us and others we do by compulsion 
cos if we dont we dont get grades and .

The awakening to have the freedom of choice needs to be done right from school , the school needs to be a microcosm of the real world
for the world and the universe around us is what's gonna remain long after we even leave school and we still keep learning from it till the end. think of the subject / course which you never liked per se 
in my case -  chemistry - though i love the ones between individuals - the one i dont is between the subatomic particles .
we should be given a choice to exercise our freedom to learn , lean that which keeps us happy and interested and - that would have a greater impact on our subconscious when we learn from the universe .
All of us were taught that particular course which we really didn't like and we  go thru the ordeal of being aware of it, similarly we learn things form the world which often is a drab but we go thru that because we're tuned / to do so. If  if .. if only it were otherwise where the freedom to learn is given we wouldn't be learning certain things from the world which would make us unhappy -- expectations is one such thing ,aggression (uncontrolled) is another one and the list goes on .

 Imagine a world where the learning is ideally done / chosen from, 
that will rid this world of negative energies and the world and you will be a happier entity .

Think ..............

And learn only what you need to ..... !!!!!

The Realms And Beyond 

What do you think lies in ...
The Realms And Beyond 
of the bright yellow marigold

Its but the purest and undiluted..
pleasure, love and joy unbound 
of the bright yellow marigold

And the unassumingly complete ....
glint and smiles of a life untold 
of the bright yellow marigold

Was just Trying out a new style in poetry ..to spread positivism and remind myself and others that finding little pleasures ( thinking about bright marigolds, pink flamingos and what not .. !!!)in life gets you happiness in huge packages all the time .. jus like those wrapped x'mas presents !! in bright red, purple shining wrappers. 

This 'n' That 

I like this title , seems to say a lot but nothing at the same time too .. that's how everything is - paradoxical , Joseph Heller believed in it (that doesnt give me a reason to !) but after catch 22 i guess am
proselytized to do so !(note: proselytize might sound like some variant of a sleeping pill , or anti depressant, but that's not the case
it is changing ones faith -- the pills do the same too -nature has its ways !!) .. have you noticed , i dont know if you did but there are as many words in the brackets now as there are outside .(explains my fascination to curves .. !!!) There i go again !!! anyways ..i promise 
no more brackets ( i'll try hard not to .. ) ok ok .. i give up .. oh heck its my corner/page/abode !! .

I seem to be digressing from the point(did i have one?) completely and go on ranting about my fascinations , well .. u know .. this 'n' that ..isn't this all about that . ? or all that about this .. ? (if you feel dizzy , nauseating by now you can go out to the loo do this 'n' that and comeback ..)  ok ! no more digressions now , havent been writing much these days , just reading quite a lot though i plan to keep stuff in the book review section am not doing that (lazy..!) caught a copy of zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance something which am flipping my pages slowly through - It requires a lot of mental attention to finer details of the author that's what i think because i come under his -not-the-classicists category , and then there was this book "I moved your cheese" yes you read it right ,one hell of a book if you are the one who likes getting stoned and laughing away deliriously , this takes you there in minutes (sans the stoning stuff of course ! ) , Now this reminds me of getting stoned , how many of us dont like that feeling? - unless ofcourse you are not in a conservative middle east nation where they seem to take things literally.

December cold is just way too much , some people think i am one of those south Indians who haven't seen the north winters , but well what the hell .. its cold anyway .. and like shakespheare( damn !!..i can never spell him right!!) said (or was it David beckham?..)winter chills are oblivious to peoples psyche and geographic locations .December or November the days go by and we're still doin this 'n' that !

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

One Mr. X And a Couple Of Omelettes

If dreams in anyway are some kind of a manifestations of subconscious energies transforming into the future incidents of real life , you will see this book hitting the bookstores soon.

I had a dream last night ! yes.. i keep having many every night but this..this. this.. one was the one which would make me an author , it had the looks of a winner from the moment i dreamt about it ( i always forget to look at the watch when i dream ) anyways the dream was that , i was writing a book with the aforementioned title -- " One Mr. X And a Couple Of Omelettes" -- wonder what i would write and how i would but that sure was the title , now i would only hope that some publisher who had a sequel dream to mine somewhere across the face of this earth would get up shaken in the middle of the night and feverishly search on the internet for this title and come running to me and pay me a royalty of more than 10 million$ (Woody allen are you listening ? ;-)) to get started with it.

Dreams sure are made of damn explosive stuff , if you go to the end of this page you'd see one of my first entries was a dream and the interpretation of it was so damn right .. ;-) wonder what will happen to this one 

So ..Fellow earthlings , dream , and dream for you'll never know when you'd see what you always wanted to see .
And for now am off writing the introduction for "One Mr. X And a Couple Of Omelettes" or did i already ... ? :-)

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

The Inner Child


There are times in the youthful days when existence seems a little draggy and suddenly you start realizing that partying is not fun all the time , and gone or those days when you'd sit on the railings and worshipped thy Venus in all forms and thoughts lingered like wild butterflies in spring . Some call it quarter life crisis and some say you're growing up and you hear things like you're becoming responsible and many a varied versions of that same things which would sometimes make you feel - How much of my life is really over ?

The catch lies in not thinking about getting older but using a different palette of colours to paint the picture yellow and orange over the blues -the culmination would be great !There was a time when you were growing up and all you had was your inner child and no other ego states , you were a child who ran free across the fields , the pavements ,played till your legs hurt but wouldn't know the time till mom yelled your name and came looking for you . Think of it -- life then and life now is no different you were in school 9-5 and you are at work now ,but did you ever realize that energies just multiply over time and are at peak during the youthful days - then why should it be any different from throwin your laptop/briefcase/folders away just like you threw that bag and ran to play , and guess what you have company right at home and moms not gonna shout at you for not finishing your homework , the best part you don't have homework to do even if you do - you dont have to  ! come home running spend time with wife mom and dad , run to friends if you want to .Play with the kids, hold them in your arms run around with them , and you'll begin to see that life hasn't changed !! yes you've learnt about birds and bees and all things that matter , but you were learning when you were in school too.. !! The inner child is the closest one to the soul and the soul loves his company .The one sure way to reach soul sanctification is to live your inner child.

Go ahead live the child in you , hear yourself giggle ,sing on top of your voice hear the unknown which is joy ,bliss , the stream in the woods and the chirping birds. You can try making faces at your colleagues in a meeting room for starters :-) :-P. connect to your soul and spread happiness .... the world would be a better place for you me and everyone.

 

Friday, September 05, 2003

Who  dares to tell the lion that he has bad breath

The squirrel tried ,so the mouse 
and the whole fauna house
somebody has to cross the line 
go ahead and blow the horn.
they wanted to live on the earth
but for the lions bad breath

who would dare , who would dare ? 
will it be the mighty bear
or the swift white hare

he was in bliss relaxin and  restin 
when she went out huntin
the herd the army the cete 
and all of them they met
the zebras pondered
and the monkeys frowned 

who would dare , who would dare ? 
will it be the mighty bear
or the swift white hare

she came and saw all of them there 
threw a puzzled questioning glare 
they told her the matter 
thats brought them all this hour
that it was her lair 
the root of filthy air

who would dare , who would dare ? 
will it be the mighty bear
or the swift white hare

they turned to the bear 
and pleaded the hare 
told them that its only fair
for no one else is as rare
both laughed rollin on the floor 
seemed like they wouldn't care 

who would dare , who would dare ? 
will it be the mighty bear
or the swift white hare


This was the day when i wanted to wake up the lyricist in me , and one of my friends suggested that i should write on "who dares to tell the lion that he has bad breath" .. and now i wonder if he'd ever
want to make suggestions again :-))

The Swooshing train 

I was sitting in the station 
waitin in anticipation 

For that one and only train 

Just like the others who seem to wait 
a lil sure and unsure was the whole knot

for i was one with the multitudes 
So were my fears and dogmas 

there was an unknown march - a hustle , 
And i never heard the whistle 

the scattered masses , lost and bewildered 
looked around , puzzled faces .. 

Lil did they and i knew .. 
the train just swooshed by , swooshed by 
before even i felt .. it was ever coming..


-- Dedicated to John Lennon who said -- life was what happened when i was making plans for it .

Some would say its a bad way of lookin at life where you are not in control of what's happening. though we all love to be tell me how many 99 out of 100 times you were and even if u were.. this is for that one time ! 

Thursday, Aug 21, 2003

Midweek musings

That was the first time i saw her 
she was sipping slowly from her snifter
A million questions paced in my head
if she was alone and her thoughts scattered
i was betting with my thoughts that she must be lonesome 
fingers so placidly rested she was just absolutely awesome 
was so busy watching her ,smiling to myself and writing this ode
when i lifted my head .........................she just vanished !!!!!!!

This was something i wrote last night , realized that one shouldn't wait for long cos things disappear in a jiffy a flash and a blink , for life too is ephemeral.

Thursday, Aug 07, 2003

Life Goes On !

Ever wondered at what pace ?Lets denote the pace with which life goes on as [Lp] and then we have these

[Lp] = (15*(Avg(Bank Balance)) - 15 (15*(Avg(Bank Balance)))
effectively making it -14(15*(Avg(Bank Balance)))

This means that your life goes on at the pace of your bank reserves for the whole month ,an upward trend for the first half of the month and a downward trend noticed later , this very strikingly can be applied 
for every 30/31 days of your life .

Its also noticed that [Lp]

is directly proportional to the Km reading on the speedometer of your vehicle

is directly proportional to the stack of unread newspapers lying on the couch

is directly proportional to the home front tauntings of putting you in the connubial hell(for the single souls)

is directly proportional to the number of times you say "I've see this Fwd before"

inversely varies with [Lp(s)] where [Lp(s)] is [Lp] when you were single
Disclaimer : That's what i was told ;-)

And another behavior noticed with [Lp] is the fact that it comes to an alarming standstill and reaches to perfect clarity when you're sitting on the park bench , a kid comes running to you and says
"Uncle what's the time ?"


In three words I can sum up everything I've 
learned about life: it goes on.
- Robert Frost

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Random thoughts on a not so rainy afternoon

leashed with a thinner-than-thee earphone
with opiate eyes staring at the mocking dumb screen 
trying to unwind my spawn of thoughts across 
on topless skies, endless roads and abysmal seas

stocking piles of randomness in my cerebrum
with sluggish wanton and careless momentum
tied down and blind folded in the fourth dimension
hollow, levitated and sanguine , i was left alone
alone with my random thoughts on a not so rainy afternoon

with all its graceful might and convoluted configurations
enticing me with warmth ,engulfing me in the alleys of unknown
these whimsies of endless frontiers and high speed gales
sped across ,hopped and swooshed like the ravenous reptiles 
taking  me to the still of eternity where nothing is attorn

ignorant of any manifestations ,articulations and all akin
like an orphan leaf with cross currents rummaging my brain
i float and slither and fly and sail and walk and jog and run
with my random thoughts on a not so rainy afternoon.


Was writing this to break the shackles of lifeless idleness between the four walls , and liberate myself revisiting  unknown realms.

Monday, July 28, 2003

Another Meeting

ahh.. !!! Yet Another meeting
For those souls untiring
With voices across the seas
and moratorium of thoughts on lease

Surrounded with some sleepy face
and some unparalleled poise and grace
the words that float in the air 
were to evaporate with blissful flair

of a few smirks and exchanged glances 
formed some brilliant ephemeral parlances
i stared at these walls a zillion times
counted every brick a million times 

this seems to be the eternal paradigm
Another meeting ..  in another room.


Wrote this  in one of the meetings today, just .. couldnt help it !! :-)

Soul Boulevard

On a Rainy Afternoon 
in a City Unknown
Unknown to the Soul
i live a different rigmarole
with Zappa and Morrison 
i had my soul elevation
Just when i thought i had it all 
I hear "purple" blowin down the hall

The Clouds above started pouring down
And i gulped yet another beer down

For the soul rejuvenated with  beats 
i Said -- "Long live Keats "
And i --  penned on and on
Thanking the rain gods divine

Oops !! the Sun Steered of the clouds
And i marched on to the roads.


paying a tribute to the 60's music , And the greatest "young" poet Keats , i lived the day 30th Jun 03 -in -in -in -in a City Unknown ;-)

The Charcoal Artist

I got up this morning , my eyes still recovering from last night , from the shades , the only shades i know of and the only shades i can associate with-- the grays the blacks and the whites and all subtleties 
in between.

There was a time when my studio had "colors" which took a pretty place in there, which i hardly touched and the only thing that kept rolling between my fingers and on the canvas were those charcoals which were my macrocosm , the shades and the strokes of which said a lot , the grays and the contrasting whites as the backdrop -is -- is what my world  is  all about .

Her smile ,the twinkle in her eye, the beautiful rainbow , the old castles , rivulets, amulets, mountains , streams and the skies and all my "reveries" are but manifestations of these shades .. for i cannot find perfection in any other shade other than the shades of a shade themselves.

Yes there would be a contest against what i said but that -- Dear world is the way a colorblind charcoal artist looks at you .   

The Block

Well .. Its been quite sometime since i wrote .. (Almost two months !!) Hmm ..What have i been upto .. Nothing out of the world that kept me so busy that i couldnt write .. Just that  i didnt have the "Right"-"Write" energies , there were many a time when the keyboard went
tik..tock..tick ..tick and all the time it also went <BackSpace> ..<BackSpace> <BackSpace> ..
I sat down to analyze and realized that its insecurities and a sense of fear that kept making me hit the darn backspace so many times .. that's when i realized... i wouldn't let these stop me .
Its not a satori but a sublime thought which vapored to the top as a voice and said "Damn You !!!.. let Go ".
thats all it took to produce this .. To let go and swing myself in my own expressions and my own freedom of thoughts words and myself.
a leviathan block vanished and filled me with gratifying levity. The mantra -- My fellow inhabitants of this mighty milky way
is "Let- go" Let go .. of your darkest fears, greatest insecurities and .. and...everything else , thats when the soul is levitated and gratified too .
(Will reach the soul stage soon ;-))
   

She and the Seasons

I am out there living this life .. every moment of it every season of it .. 
Spring is just her perfect smile 
autumn is when i see her pearls of charm everywhere 
The Rains are but a metaphor for the showers of her love 
Summer is a reflection of Her Sheer Radiance and Rare Brilliance 
Wish i could live .. live all the seasons and forever .. 

No this is with no one in my mind , its with a dewey-eyed optimism of finding her soon ;-)
  

Its been a long time since i posted something .. ahh.. yes!! battling it out with .net these days.

The other day Harish and Myself were discussing About being suspended in the system.

What does this mean to me ?

Being totally detached with things, situations people around me and not let any energy system affect me 
lets call : things, situations people around = {System}

How do i get there ?

There are tested tried ways of meditating, deep breaths and wearing the mindset where you tell yourself that you are non existent, alcohol drugs and a lot of other things which would shut your senses. But how do i do it with no external help ?

The solution  :

I propose something called the non-fixed-gaze i.e. when you're looking at {System} do not look at its physical state and look beyond 
--  look beyond with no strain, see a non existent thing where something is existing without any concentration and let your gaze or stare drift further and further and away seamlessly like a seagull. After a while (the time cannot be quantified , depends on how well you will be able to do it) You'd realize that nothing in the {System} affects you and you are the desired suspended element.

{System} would just not be the physical {System} around you because you'll now be  in a complete free state where nothing binds you to any {System} and you are the non-absolute suspended element.

Let me know if you've tried it. :-)
 

One of those days when you just wanna go out and do something , and all you have is a cubicle and a bunch of thoughts buzzing in your head like a swarm of bumble bees , you cant but write stuff like this .. !!! :-)  i call these ---

Cubicle Compositions

The glass walls and the bright lights
of killed consciences and persistent frights
confined spaces -- did i hear "think beyond"?
openness?? :-)  its the sockets with which you communicate
free will ... yeah sure --> eight hours of accountability 
creativity .. dream on !! incumbency is a daily drone 

Must be saying "Why are u still There ??"
yes i have to . when i think of my daily beer :-)
   

My Universe

Standing at the window , there lies my vista , what do i call her .. ofcourse My Universe -- blushes sometimes , mocks at times .. stares straight, turns away, cajoles and careens .
Hoardings and the lights just like the brilliant stars, trees and the structures -- ahh !!those celestial bodies .
Narrow ?? Guess Not !!! :-)  ..For i know she is all mine .. all mine when i walk ... walk on the stellar roads sweeping her off her feet and espouse her might with all the right .
And i move on ... Standing at another window ........

What's your Universe ????

Bird's Eye View

The colossal consortium of thoughts
Thoughts which drove me to what i want
Thoughts that swayed me to where i am
culminated to that perfect view

I held myself from reaching higher 
Scared because i'll miss my view 
That placid view slid into being
I was quenched in the grandeur
And in perfect beatitude i lay

The brilliant view was but.. a labyrinth

The momentous thought glided in 
A li'l too fast, a li'l too quick
The view faded to the distant unknown 
That roused and wobbled me from my hush 
I looked up to realize that i needed to fly
To fly - swifter, higher and faster
Before i miss my bird's eye view. 


This i wrote to remind myself that the only constant thing there is to this universe is -- Change 

Days

Tucked away in one tiny corner of the world is my day .. my day like an autumn leaf caressing the stream and cruising with it . I was just having some thought conversation on what a day is all about?
does it have any significance ? yes there are some significant days and some not so important days -- they all start the same way , the optimist says another day less to reach there , the pessimist says one more day in life taken away .. the ponderer has his task cut out for the night, the doer uses his ammo in the dusk hours ...These were the thoughts running thru my head when i was taking the day by the 
horns this morning. Its the day which needs to be lived thru ..adding a little more fuel to the next day and the next day and .....'cos its the days which maketh a life

<Jim Morrison>
You know the day destroys the night, the night divides the day, try to run!! try to hide !! break on thru to the other side.
</Jim Morrison>
   

Classifications & The Egg theory 

A theory which stuck me this morning -- The classification of people based on eggs ! yes ..you've read it right -- eggs ! but if you are wondering why it should be eggs , well eggs are the food  am real passionate about , most of you know that ;-), if you don't well ...!!now you do ;-) and for once I've assumed its not a sin to classify people in my own way with the food which i love most ..ok that was too much of 'I' there.

coming back to people , these are the categories 

The EggWhite people:

The austere people who are pretty happy with the plain simple things of life , that type who work for what they want and be satisfied with the immediate results and do not delve beyond.

The EggYellow people:

These are the people who are always on the look out for something more in life ,people who run that extra mile, want  that li'l extra, that inquisitiveness to keep them happy.

The EggWhole people

These people are the contended souls ,satisfied with whatever they have and find wholeness with them, people with understanding about life and a spiritual bent of mind 

You will notice that most of us fall into one of these categories above and we eat that same part in the egg -- the category which we fall into

if you're thinking that there are people who dont eat eggs at all and how do i go about classifying them , i call them the people who dunno what they are missing out on. !! ;-), thank the god for making them ., i know its the chicken which made it.. but well am sure that such beautiful creation of god --- its the egg first.   

Hallucinations 

It was a hallucination
When i saw the smoke slither to her beaming smile 

It was a hallucination
When the snifter reminded me of her tender nape

It was a hallucination
When the malt turned to the sheen of her skin 

It was ...but reality 
When the crumpled sheets spelt yesterday today

This was something i wrote last night (again).. i think a couple more and will move them to another page -- i sometimes wonder what would have manifestations done if there were no words, how nebulous the galaxy  could have been ? feels good to be in the milky way !!! .  

Something i wrote last night 

 It was pretty late in the night 
ridin by myself in the dark twilight
succumbed to the inebriant lure
a bit shaky and a li'l unsure
i looked at the city and asked her
will you take me home ??
it looked away indifferently from me.
then i looked back into her eyes 
and could hear the city say
"Ok fine This one last time .!!"

I keep hearing this statement (rather a hackneyed question) often, and there's just not one answer for that but a truck load of them--from a truck load of them.. the question -- what is life?, I've come across this highly fascinating reply which i could correlate to - the most

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath 
of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across 
the grass and loses itself in the sunset. -Crowfoot, Native American 
warrior and orator (1821-1890) 

Non-Absolute

I had a satori this morning -- most of us seem to be "absolute" about a lot of things, these things ,the entities around us, our perceptions and our notions and many more.

<Dictionary>
Absolute (N):
Something that is conceived to be absolute; something that does not depend on anything else and is beyond human control
</Dictionary>

Whatever we-the humans conceived , even the very meaning of absolute--we say is beyond human control, then what is it ? it doesn't take loads of spiritual/metaphysics reading to figure out that there is nothing absolute in this world. Then what are those we "absolutely-sure" "absolutely-know" about ?-- Nothing !!! -- None at all ..That's why i call Man -- a Non-Absolute himself.

OpenLDAP 

A simple-Non trivial package which took my peace away,learnt a few very important (very obvious) things fighting it out

1>Log files are the most important way of finding out where the problem is , though their locations sometimes or not very obvious this particular file was in a directory called ../test-db/master.log

2>Run the test suite even if make, make depend dont throw any errors  your way 

3>Trust google after you are thru with your basic investigation

Still have to find out the reason for the "c compiler cannot create executables" on Solaris8 - Intel which was stopping the configure part itself and cant stop listening to euphoria's phir dhoom -- very very refreshing number

Dreams...

 <Aristotle> It is plain therefore that this affection, which we name 'dreaming', is no mere exercise of opinion or intelligence, but yet is not an affection of the faculty of perception in the simple sense. If it were the latter it would be possible [when asleep] to hear and see in the simple sense</Aristotle>

I had this dream (nightmare) the other day, let me describe it -- i could see a barren land and a old house and there were two others (dead bodies-- felt like that ---i was one too!! ) with me running in the plane( of the land) and there was a total sense of deja-vu which persisted through out the dream and i knew it was coming to an end when a ghost from inside the house which was sitting in front of a computer swooshes out of the window and holds me by my neck . I get up-- too scared to rethink and analyze it..Wonder what it meant !!.. The remarkable thing was the motion of the other corpses around me when my deja-vu (in the dream) portend me of something wicked -- they just ran around like atoms during a fission

CVS

One more thing i need to keep track of is the two files i need to change after a CVS installation and they are /etc/services and /etc/inetd.conf and restart the services , but on debian its a different ball game -- all you need to do is a $apt-get install cvs and things are taken care of.

Set up this place ( lair?) today - to be the one most quintessential rootage for Me . Myself ..
As i re-embark this primordial expedition which the multitude calls life.