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When we last left our wayward travelers, they were speedin' away from home into the "unknown" (AKA Dairy Queen).
Ron: You know, maybe we should've thought about this earlier, but we don't have any money other than what's in our pockets and the little we have in the bank.
Gym: Oh, I wouldn't worry about money. I've got a little nest egg set aside for fun splurging.
Ron: Oh yeah? How much?
Gym: $450,000 give or take a thousand.
Ron: *loses grip on the steering wheel* WHAT! DUDE! WHERE'D YOU GET THAT KINDA MONEY!
Gym: Oh, I've been selling pot out of our apartment for years now, didn't you know?
Ron: Wait, you've been selling drugs, illegal substances, IN MY HOME!?
Gym: Oh, did I say "pot"? I meant "Girl scout cookies..."
Ron: Whew, okay, you had me worried there.
Gym: ...laced with weed.
Ron: Okay you know what, don't tell me anymore because when the cops come I wanna be able to fall back on plausible deniability.
Gym: Do you have any idea what that means, or did you just hear it on TV?
Ron: I heard it on TV. One of those cop dramas, the really violent one with the bald cop that is corrupt and beats the hell outta people, what's it called?
Gym: Friends?
Ron: Yeah, that's it. That Rachel is one evil woman. *Yawns* Dude, I've been driving for like 8 straight hours and we still don't have a destination yet. What saw we stop and get something to eat, or at least, something to keep me awake.
Gym: You could just let me drive ya know.
Ron: Do you remember what happened last time you drove?
Gym: That totally wasn't my fault. I blew the horn as loudly as I could, but the car didn't move!
Ron: ...That's because it was parked, in a garage, with the wheels off and the garage door closed!
Gym: Yeah, whatever. Anywho I'm not hungry yet. But if you stop at a gas station, I can hook you up with my special drink. I call it the "Caffeine Heart Puncher," 'cause after you drink it it feels like you got punched in the heart by Mike Tyson.
Ron: Tyson boxes now? I thought he just ate ears.
Gym: I think he boxes on occasion. Pull over here at this service station and I'll go inside and get the ingridients.
*Gym rushes inside and returns about 10 minutes later with a dark, bubbling concoction in a plastic bottle."
Gym: Alright buddy, drink it quickly before it melts through the bottle. I'm gonna go pee.
Ron: Uh, I can HEAR the caffeine from over here. *Yells at Gym* What's in this thing? *chugs the bottle*
*Gym returns*
Gym: DUDE! How much of that did you drink!
Ron: Er, the entire bottle, why is that bad?
Gym: You were only supposed to have half of a bottle cap! How many fingers am I holding up? *holds up five fingers*
Ron: *squints* 37?
Gym: Oh man, you're about to go on the trip of a lifetime. Maybe you shouldn't drive.
Ron: !!!!!So what exactly was IN THE FREAKIN' STUFF!!!
Gym: Just a few innocent items. Mountain Dew, Coke, Tea, Red Bull, Ice coffee, oh and a secret ingredient.
Ron: ...What was the secret ingredient!
Gym: ...crack.
Ron: MANWHATTHEHELLISWRONGWITHYOUICAN'TBETAKINGCRACKANDDRIVINGANDSTUFF!
Gym: What? Slow down man.
Ron: WHATDOYOUMEANSLOWDOWNI'MNOTTALKINGFASTI'MTALKINGNORMALMANTHATSTUFFWASPOTENT!!!!!
Gym: Now you're seeing why a serving is only half a cup full. I think we need to pull into that hotel over there and let you sleep this off.
Ron:
GREATHOTELSAREGREATILOVETHEMTHINGSTHEY'REALLTALLANDSTUFFANDYOUKNOWWHATISAWADUCKONCE!
Gym: Uh, yeah, exactly. What say you let me drive?
Ron: FINEGOAHEADI'MGONNAGOONFOOTI'LLMEETYOUTHERE!!!!!
*Gets out of the car and runs towards the hotel*
Gym: Ron! You can't run to the hotel, it's gotta be like six or seven miles off! The only reason we can see it is because it's so tall..ah forget it.
*20 minutes later, Gym arrives at the hotel*
Ron: HEY BUDDY WHERE YA BEEN, I'VE BEEN HERE FOR LIKE 18 MINUTES!
Gym: You ran seven miles in 2 minutes!
Ron: WELL, IT GOT KINDA TOUGH WHEN THE TRUCK HIT ME, BUT YEAH, I MADE IT. WHAT SAY WE SEE IF THESE BASTIGES HAVE SOME ROOMS OPEN. IF NOT, I SAW ANOTHER HOTEL ABOUT 20 MILES DOWN THE ROAD WHEN I RAN PAST THIS ONE BY ACCIDENT.
Gym: ...I think I'll see if they have some tranquillizers here too.
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Chapter 1 - Enter the Gym
Chapter 2
Bob and the Demon
Other Works
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