| From now on, if you have a problem send it to my advice column. Dr. Phil = Dumbass |
| I am in shock. SHOCK, I tell you. I turned off my beloved playstation for only a few moments and caught a glimpse of the Dr. Phil show. I threw up soon afterward. Dr. Phil is a credited doctor and could very well be devoting his time and effort into people who NEED it. On the show when I saw it, however, was a man and his wife. They had a problem SO severe that they had to fly to wherever the hell Dr. Phil is to get his expensive, professional opinion. You see, this man's wife wants him to shave off his mustache. The man however doesn't feel like shaving off his mustache. I quote this man: "Well I always kinda wanted to shave it off, but I guess I needed a little push." Are you vomiting yet? Now, I can't deny that this man does have serious problems. This man's real problems, however (Stupidity and baldness) weren't even addressed! First of all, why wouldn't you shave your damn mustache? Did you really need a doctor to suggest it?! She's your wife! Who the hell else are you supposed to look "good" for? Once you enter a relationship, the remainder of your social life is pretty much damned, so you might as well do what your wife wants. Damn, if I had a girlfriend (a hot one) I'd shave my ass if she asked me too. Following frivolous orders is a good way to get head in a relationship. (Note, I did not misspell the word "ahead") I can't believe somebody actually PAID for that kind of advice. (I think they do, anyway. . .) Have you ever had a girlfriend that kicked your ass? Now that's a significant problem. There was this absolutely GORGEOUS girl that I dated for a while, the only flaw (in my eyes) in our relationship was that she was capable of pounding me into a puddle. Because of this, I had to spend aboiut 2 hours a day suffering under endless weight trying to increase my muscle mass. That's right, I hid under my bed popping steroids. Anyway, eventually I DID reach my desired strength, and finally regained my self esteem. I was ready to show my girlfriend how strong I had become, but by that time, I found there was some silly law about not beating the hell out of your girlfriend. Damn it. . .The world we live in. . . The point is, that some people have REAL problems. I wish I had somebody to tell to simply sucker punch my girlfriend while I had the chance. . .but NO! I had to solve that problem myself. (I become bitter) I hope I've spread my view. If you havn't caught on to my point, go see Dr. Phil and ask him to solve your ass-hood. |
| 6/10/03 |