i know its been a long time since i updated but ya know how it is i dont exactly have as much time as other ppl do i mean between my grams sitch and the whole phone tied up thing i dont have time anymore...it was cool for awhile to keep updatin and stuff but now i dont have that much time so its no longer fun like it used to be its more of a task...oh well i think itll be ok...
in other news today...lol...weather is bad i hate bad weather it freaks me out...its like scary and shizzle, i hate it, absolutely hate it...well other than the weather my grams is braindead and her son keeps putin off the inevitable and wants to put her in a nursing home even though she always said she dint wanna be put in one...i dunno i dont get a say in it all i know is its gonna be a long drive to get to the nursing home and my mom juss wants her to go into hospice so "god can take her" we all know i dont believe in god but i do believe that my grams astral soul isnt gonna come back as much as i want it too... its a long story on that one its my lovely beliefs...not gonna go there...well i could explain but ud all think im mentally unstable so i dont feel like explainin... well someday ill write it all down and stuff but as of the timing right now, i dont think so nobody really cares...my grams wants to be buried next to my gramps but i dunno thas a really long ways away...i dunno i mean i know where the plot is and its in the same cemetary as my gramps and her parents and her brother that died as a baby and her son, and like a ton of other ppl she knew...i dont want her to die but i know its better than her body staying alive making her return as it needs her too and then her leaving again to be with all her other loved ones that left there bodies already...i hope i can project so i can see her again i miss her soo much...
well i think ive said enuf bout all that...me and bry are doin really good this time its alot better this time than the previous 10 or 11 i mean this time were spendin time together and all so i think its gonna work out for the best...at least i hope it will i couldnt stand to live without him...well i think ima go im really hot right now and i have alot of other work i have to do... *Muahz&Hugglez*
August 4, 2002
well i went to the nursing home yesterday to see my gramsy and shes doin soo much better im soo proud of her looks like i was wrong after all huh...well onto other news...i dont feel like spendin alot of time on here tonite im bored and tired and achy all over...i cried earlier but i had fun today it was a really good day i spent the whole day with Bryan, whom i love with all my heart and mind, i dunno what i would do without him, he saw me cry which i must admit kinda intimidates me cuz now hes seen my weakness which really kinda freaks me out cryin is a massive weakness u dont let ppl see u cry esp not someone that close to u like that...well ima get off this stupid site builder its annoyin....................................WHO LOVES KITTY?!?!?!............................................sorry its an Andy thing...anyways im out.....*Muahz&Hugglez*
September 29, 2002
well i decided to get on here and update since its been way over a month. yes me and bryan are still together. we in a way had sex but since it was my first time he only had it in for a few seconds cuz it hurt like a bitch but still. i mean i dint wanna say anything because i know he wants it and all but still. when it hurts that bad u juss have to say sumpin. i hope i dont scare any of u virgin chix away or nuthin but im juss statin the truth. it hurts like a bitch!!!!! just let him play with u its more fun.... then u gotta play with him and all too though. its not all that bad i actually think its fun!!!!!!! hehe!!
my dad knows i smoke now. i mean he dint tell my mom and hes kinda cool with it but i mean its not like its horrible. i been in school too long now its been like 6 wks i think im not for sure though.i might be takin tuesday off. depending on when were gonna do poinsettas at tech. i dont wanna do em cuz i heard from a bunch of second year students that the stuff u have to use on em smells really bad and i dont deal well with bad smells. well ima get off now im tired. ill try to keep u all updated on my life for those of u who actually care. i mean i know its not interesting or nuthin but thx anyways. love yas!!!! *Muahz&Hugglez*
