| Ah Heng's Diary |
| Page 12 of 12 |
| Date: 24th Nov 2005 Wah seh... it's been so long that I have not updated this diary. Anyway nothing much really happened. The major thing is that I have closed down Sports Update Pte Ltd... Sigh... what the FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But then it is necessary because it has become a liability. We can't continue it further. Now is guo yi tian suan yi tian. I have even completed the NUS Reasearch Assistant job wo updating this diary, found some friends on Xanga, and try to find out more about the future. I have decided to publish a book, but first, I must do my own research. I want to make a name for myself, that is the fastest way. Can I can I...? Started to take hm... sigh... and also use fema. Walao fema is really very strong... making me unstable in the head... I also dunno what happened. Will there be any life-threatening side effects? I dunno... But then have to try to know... Sigh... I have been doubting myself too much... really. Sometimes my mood just swings from here to there, not becos of the hm, but bcos of of some unknown reason... Nb... i dunno what happened since that time... I dunno what has happened to my body... I wanna move out... this is very important... I cannot stand home anymore... I wanna move out I wanna MOVE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Date: 10th April 2006 Jia lat... this diary is becoming obsolete as I update my blog more and more. But then of course, all my secrets are in here, how can i ignore this beloved diary just like dat? So long has passed since my last entry... 4 months plus? So I have also been taking hm on and off since 4 months ago? Walao... hard to believe lah, but true. Anyway, I have been very very satisfied with the results so it shall remain then. Fema as well. Attended Bruce's wedding, saw SY and LH again. SY seemed very much thinner and xiao shou alot... I think somehow life's pressure must have got into her. LH is pregnant and would be a mother soon... still as proud as ever. Life seems not going well for them, but so be it. In fact, I'm happy that they are not happy, and I think I dont want to have anything to do with them from now on. I realize that my thinking has changed so much over time, and I am no longer entrapped in the paradigm of desires and fantasies. Found a really relaxing job that has no pressure and can take things easy. But the only flaw is that it's FUCKING BORING lah... and really really BORING. I dunno, maybe i'll stay for one year and that's it, unless they offer me a PhD later on. But then now I am earning an income, I can do fucking lots of things that I can't do previously. I wanna fulfill all the things that I have been thinking of doing for a long time, and buy all the things dat I want. I want to show them that you have made a very wrong choice by being 'you yan wu zhu'... heh heh. Another thing... Is the dehiscence of the Cosmos near? I dont know, but it seems that everyone is improving and moving towards their manifestations. All is well... |
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| Date: 29th May 2006 So many things have happened... Especially after I met JM in real life and really fall for her deep. Chat with her, she brought me lunch, and then we had our first quarrel before we reconciliate again... So many things have taken place within a span of one month... hiaz. Now I dunno what will happen in the future... will she become my girl? Sigh... But one thing is sure, I am thinking of her more and more as the days go by. What TZ, what MI, all gone into emptiness liao, as I think of her now. Finally had the photo which was taken on Bruce's wedding day. Realize dat TZ is gone with the wind liao... haha... and to think that it was one of my greatest weakness in so many years. Perhaps by meeting JM has cleared up most of my thoughts, but now I have another weakness to handle... and it won't be easy =/ Another matter, I keep wondering whether I should really really cont to take hm and fema annot. Sigh... I really dunno... The signs are sooooo confusing now. WATAH!!! As what my Dimei would say. |
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