I am here to give the Punks a place in the Nashville spotlight that Bikers and Hippies have already had.
I am here to help give any and all Punk Rockers who are hung up on ex-girlfriends/boyfriends a musical outlet where they can keep their credibility, and not castrate themselves by starting emo bands.
I am here to assure the Pennsylvania Coal Miners, the drunken Kentucky Bluegrass Pickers who don't like wearin' suits (damnit), and the native Nashville street kids who are TRUELY Country that their voices are about to overpower the industry that has abandoned them for pressed-shirt-wearin' "good ol' boys", and we will show no mercy.
I am here to get back at various ex-girlfriends by telling the world about them.
I am here to beg OTHER ex-girlfriends to take me back in the form of song, so I don't make an ass of myself on their
I am here to offer Anti-Government Militia-Type Confederate Hillbillies, who don't yet have a voice in "All-American" Country Music Radio, hope for the REAL voices of America.
I am here to express the assurance to various backwoods Southern Revival Churches (ups to the Serpent Handlers!) that someone OUTSIDE your religion shares your belief that the whole world is pretty much going to Hell.
I'm here to assure all my Firearms-skilled Redneck Comrades that if you believe it's up to YOU to defend your home and family, and not the Cops, you have an advocate.
I am here to become just enough of a cult icon so that SOME DAY, some really hot girl who I've never met before names her baby after me. That'd just be kinda cool; you gotta admit.
But MOST of all, I'm here to give Kieth Urban a much-needed swift kick to the genitals while shouting, "THIS ONE'S FOR JIMMIE RODGERS" on the streets in downtown Nashville, to the surprise of shopping tourist onlookers.
GOD BLESS AMERICA, and thank you for your time.
All disillusioned Hillbillies come join the fight!