After we ran out of mind-altering substances with which to amuse ourselves, things got boring. Again. So, while everyone else went out to try to find something other than coconuts, Ken and Yukihiro were slacking off, as usual.

Yuki: 98...99...100! Ready or not, here I come! *comes down the ladder and runs into the forest*
Ken: *jumps out from behind a ginormous tree* BOO!
Yuki: GASP! EEEK!
Ken: *falls to the floor in a fit of uncontrollable laughter* Yukihiro! You scream like a girl!
Yuki: I do not! That�s a lie, and you know it!
Ken: *gasping for breath*
Yuki: That�s it. I don�t wanna play hide and seek with you anymore! I�m going to find the others...
Ken: *still laughing*
Yuki: *storms away*
Ken: *dies*

Meanwhile...

Sarah: There better be a lot of me in this episode, or I�m gonna get really mad, ok?!
jo: Yeah, yeah...
Hyde: I wanna�
Tetsu: *grabs him by the collar* Don�t say it...
Hyde: *cries*
jo: Hey! Who said you could make him cry?!
Sarah: *whisper* Being out here has caused Tetsu to go completely mad...
jo: Yeah, I know! The guy�s off his rocker!
Sarah: sshhhh!!
Tetsu: I�m what?! *drops Hyde*
jo: I said your hair looks nice.
Tetsu: Oh. Thanks!
Hyde: Ow.
Gackt: *walking up ahead with Sakura* What the sex is that?
jo: Sex?
Sarah: What...?
Gackt: I said, what the sex is that?
Sakura: Yeah, what the sex is it? *points*
Tetsu: Sex? Where? *looks around*
Gackt: Come see!
jo: *shrugs and runs up to the clearing; they�ve reached the other side of the island and are at the shore* Well, genius, it looks like a really big cruise ship.
Gackt: Oooooh! Of course!
Sakura: Makes sense.
Sarah: ...
Hyde: ...
Tetsu: ...

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Tetsu: *goes crazy trying to find a tampon to light on fire*
Sakura: Hurry, they�re getting away!
Tetsu: *throws the flaming tampon at the ship. Everyone watches it fly over the water...*
Sarah: Well, so much for that idea.
jo: Sigh...we�ve got no way of letting them know we�re here.
Hyde: Damn it! I wanna go home!
Gackt: We know...
Tetsu: Oh well, I tried.
Sakura: True dat.

Everyone sits down by the shore and watches the ship float away...then it blows up, sending debris flying at them! They hurry up and dive out of the way BUT THEY ALL DIE! Hahahah, just kidding! If they died then what would these things be about?! They�d be about Ken and Yukihiro! And that is a big no-no.

Tetsu: *from the bushes* ...
Sarah: Is it over?!
jo: That was fun!
Hyde: That was... Tetsu�s fault!
Tetsu: What?
Sakura: That can�t be. There�s no way he could�ve thrown that thing that far.
Tetsu: Yes I could! Look at these biceps!
Sarah: *falls over laughing*
Hyde: Well, Tetsu, you�ve killed thousands of people, now what are you going to do?
Tetsu: ...I�m goin� to Disney World...?
Gackt: TAKE ME WITH YOU!
jo: I�M SCARED!
Gackt: ... I mean...I wanna get off this stupid island...yeah, that�s it. Yeah...
jo: Gackt, you know you wanna get your picture taken with Mickey!
Gackt: Ok...maybe I do...
Tetsu: Hello, a boat just exploded, can we get with the program here?!
Hyde: Oh, so you do care?
Tetsu: Maybe I do!
Sarah: Quit fighting, we gotta get outta here!
Sakura: What? Why?
Gackt: So we can see my puppy dog!
Sarah: No, I mean we have to run! NOW!
Hyde: She�s lost it!
Sakura: Where�d it go? *looks around*
Sarah: GR!
Gackt: Oh, keep your panties on! *teleports everyone back to the camp*
Sarah: Thank you. -_-
Gackt: Any time.

A big explosion suddenly shakes the world, knocking everyone to the ground. Flaming debris flies past overhead...

Hyde: Ok, now I really wanna go home!
jo: What the sex was that?!
Sarah: Don�t you mean...what the fuck?
jo: Same thing.
Sarah: Oh...I get it now... Well, anyway...that was the BOAT EXPLODING!
Gackt: Really?!
Tetsu: Wow...Sarah, how did you know it would happen?!
jo: She must be a psycho!
Hyde: No, that�s you.
jo: *blink*
Hyde: And everyone else on this god forsaken island!
jo: ...Somebody needs a hug!
Hyde: No, someone needs a loaded shotgun!
jo: Really? Who?
Sarah: Let�s just go...
Sakura: I�m all for it!
Tetsu: Well, I think if we could do that, then we would have by now...
jo: Duh!
Sarah: Well, if Gackt can teleport us from one side of the island to the other than I think he can take us OFF THE STUPID THING!
Gackt: Oh yeah...I forgot I could do that!
Sakura: ...
Gackt: What�s with the dots, huh, Sakura? You got a problem?
Sakura: Maybe I do! You wanna make somethin� of it, Vampire boy?!
Gackt: You wanna take this out side?!
Sakura: We are outside!
Gackt: Then let�s go!
Sakura: Let�s go, nigga! C�mon, you wanna piece o� this?
Gackt: You can�t beat me, you crazy mofo!
Sakura: Oh yeah?! Well, [censored] and [censored] cuz you [censored]!! So BOO-YAH, BIATCH!
Gackt: That�s it! *pulls back his fist*
Hyde: *grabs it* violence is not the answer!
Gackt: Hyde, my love, wait for me while I rid the world of this scum�
jo: *grabs some popcorn*
Sarah: Gimme some!
Tetsu: Hey, look guys! It�s Ken�s rotting corpse!
Everyone: *looks*
Tetsu: What happened to him?
Sakura: *pokes him*
Ken: AH! What�s going on?! Where am I? Who am I?!
Hyde: Ken! You have amnesia!
Ken: Oh, I�m Ken. I can�t believe I almost forgot my own name...
Sakura: Well, you know what they say - crack kills!
Ken: ...I forget why I almost died here...
Sarah: ODing?
Ken: Probably. Oh well. *gets up* Now, what are we doing today?
Hyde: Um...where�s that other guy? What�s his name again...
Tetsu: Uh...gimme a second...it�s umm...
Gackt: Hmm...Y...Y...it begins with a y...
Sarah: Yu...Yu...ki..yukihiro!
Sakura: Yes, that�s it!
Ken: Well, anyway, he ran into the forest. Who really cares?
jo: Heh, not me!
Tetsu: Me either.
Sarah: Definitely not me, let�s get the hell outta here.
Hyde: yay!
Gackt: Yay!
jo: Don�t say yay, you�re scaring me...
Ken: What? We�re leaving? How long have I been asleep?!
Sarah: 3 years...
Ken: Woah...I�m like, an old man now!
Sarah: That�s right...
Gackt: Ok, let�s leave! Everyone grab on!
jo: *glomp*
Gackt: ...
Hyde: Hurry up!
Gackt: Right...*teleports them back in front of Sarah and jo�s house*
jo: I�m home!

And finally, we�re back home to the HQ! YAYNESS! Well, we did leave Yukihiro there, but, as formentioned, we don�t care! He�ll be back soon anyway...right?

Be sure to stay tuned for the next episode of Backtstage Pass - it get�s cornier and funnier every time, or your money back!

[the end!]