Guess what everybody!?!?!?!?!?!?! Well, today’s Sarah’s birthday. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY - *gets shot by Sarah*

And now a special episode of Backstage Pass dedicated to the late Sarah. *sniff* What... she’s not dead? Well now you’re just talkin’ crazy talk.

Ok, an episode of Backstage Pass dedicated to the late jo, shot by Sarah. ...What?! OH FINE!

An episode of Backstage Pass dedicated to the late jo who was shot by Sarah whose birthday is today...

OH WHATEVER!!!

TIME FOR SOME GOOD OLD YUKIHIRO-AND-KEN-STARTING-THE-SHOW-GOODNESS!! WOOHOO!!

Yuki: Hey Ken? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a -
Ken: THIS MANY! *grabs the lollipop and throws it at Yukihiro’s head*
Yuki: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *runs away crying*
Sarah: Ahhhhh, just like the good old days. Ken torturing Yukihiro... Yukihiro running away crying...
Ken: Whadya want, woman?! Can’t you see I’m busy here?!
Sarah: *notices that he is trying to sell crack to Ruki*
Ruki: *shifty eyes*
Sarah: ...
Ruki: YOU AIN’T SEEN NUTTIN NOWHERES! *jumps out the window*
Sarah: But I thought users never sold...
Ken: It’s a long story.
Sarah: What? Are you saving up for my birthday present?
Ken: Umm.... suuuuure.... let’s go with that.....
Sarah: Well you’re a little late, my birthday’s today!
Ken: Uhhh.... look over there!
Sarah: Oh as if I’d fall for that, you’re just gonna run away cause you didn’t get me anything -
Ken: Look, it’s that Tatsurou fellow!
Sarah: What, where?!
Ken: AND HE’S TOTALLY BUTT NAKED!!!
Yuki: *runs in the room* WHERE?! *looks around frantically*
Sarah: *also looks around frantically*
Ken: POOF!
Sarah: ...Ken, you didn’t go anywhere, you just said poof -
Ken: *disappears*
Sarah: OH MY GOD, KEN’S AN ALIEN!
Yuki: Please tell me you’re not just figuring that out?!
Sarah: Well, I.... I mean.... yeah!
Yuki: I want my money back! There ain’t no naked guy in here!
Sarah: ...
Yuki: ...
Sarah: ...Yukihiro... I suggest you back out the room slowly at first, picking up speed as you gradually realize how humiliated you are... and I will agree to keep this our little secret....
Yuki: ...Right... *runs away*
Sarah: Sigh. Some birthday I’m having. *turns to leave but slips on an old crusty lollipop......*

***

Yuki: Hmmm... I have the weirdest sensation that someone just stepped on that lollipop that I found in the corner of Ken’s secret lab today.... Oh well. *skips away. ...SKIPS. HELLO YUKIHIRO SKIPPING! NOT GOOD! SCARY!*

***

Sarah: My plastic hip! This is gonna hurt in the morning! *grabs the table to pull herself up off the ground but hits a button that causes the floor below her to disappear and she falls into another room in Ken’s lab* Oh crap.... I think I just went down Ken’s laundry shoot... Oh no, I bet I’m laying in a pile of his dirty underwear RIGHT NOW! *scrambles to her feet and starts running around until she runs into a wall. The lights suddenly flicker on and she realizes it wasn’t a wall but actually... Tatsurou* ...
Tatsurou: Who are you?!
Sarah: [starry eyes]
Tatsurou: What are you doing down here?!
Sarah: [/starry eyes] What’re YOU doing down here?! This is Ken’s secret laboratory... thingy...
Tatsurou: I know! He pays me to guard it.
Sarah: Guard it? From what?
Tatsurou: Intruders! Like YOU!
Sarah: So that’s why he’s been selling his stash... to pay for you!
Tatsurou: Huh? He sells crack for oreos?
Sarah: What?
Tatsurou: Never mind. Say... you don’t have any oreos... do ya?
Sarah: Yeah, I just keep a thing of oreos in my shirt...
Tatsurou: REALLY?!
Sarah: No, you idiot, I was being sar -
Tatsurou: WILL YOU MARRY ME?!
Sarah: [starry eyes] YES!
Tatsurou: YAY! Now gimme some oreos!
Sarah: Umm... I’ll give you all the oreos you ever dreamed of if... you can help me get outta here.
Tatsurou: Sorry, no can do. There’s no escaping - *widens his eyes and makes scary wooshing noises while waving his hands around* Keeeeeeeen’s Laaaaaaab!! WOOOooooOOOoooooOooooo!!!!!
Sarah: ...
Tatsurou: What?
Sarah: Did he pay you to say that, too?
Tatsurou: No, I just like to add my own special effects to life.
Sarah: Ok. Anyway. Ummmm.... GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Tatsurou: I told you, there’s no escaping -
Sarah: *smacks him* I said get me outta here! I don’t wanna spend my birthday locked in.... a... basement with....
Tatsurou: Heh?
Sarah: Oh my god, I’m locked in a basement with Tatsurou. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Tatsurou: Yup, it’s just me and you down here.
Sarah: [starry eyes... again]
Tatsurou: Oh, and Yukke of course.
Yukke: *materializes out of nowhere* Hi!
Sarah: ...Ok, my birthday is ruined.
Yukke: Aw, you no like Yukke?! *cries*
Tatsurou: QUIT BLUBBERIN UNLESS YOU WANT YER DAILY BEATIN’ EARLY, BOY!
Yukke: *sniff* Y-yes, s-s-sir...... *sniff*
Sarah: Um, while we’re at it... How come you’re always so abusive to him?
Tatsurou: WHAT?! How’d you know about my abusive relationship with bowl-cut boy?!
Sarah: Yeah, that’s the other thing I’ve always wondered. What is WITH that bowl-cut? I mean... it’s like.... THE bowl-cut.... THE *ULTIMATE* bowl-cut... I mean what the fuck?
Tatsurou: You know, I’ve always wondered that, too...
Yukke: It’s just one of life’s mysteries.
Sarah: Yup. Like what makes Jell-o jiggle.
Tatsurou: Mmmm, Jell-o...
Sarah: ...
Yukke: Look everbody!
Tatsurou: Jell-o....
Sarah: What is it? *goes over to the weird-looking control panel that Yukke has been playing with*
Yukke: Ken made a door that can take us anywhere.
Sarah: Wow, just like on Doraemon!
Tatsurou: Mmm, Doraemon....
Sarah: Now I can get outta here!
Yukke: Wait, you mean to tell me that if you had a door that could take you ANYWHERE, you’d use it to go up a floor in your own house?!
Tatsurou: MMM, HOUSE! *starts chewing on the wall*
Sarah: I suppose you have a point there. Hmm, where do I wanna go... It is my birthday, I should treat myself. *pushes Yucky outta the way and types in random integers, then walks through the door*
Yukke: *follows her* Wait for me!
Tatsurou: *stops chewing on the house* Hey, you get back here! You haven’t had your daily beating yet! *follows*

*they appear outside a big house somewhere in Japan*

Sarah: Where are we?!
Yukke: We’re here.
Tatsurou: Mmmm, here.... *starts licking the concrete*
Yukke: Hey, quit that! *starts poking him with a stick*
Sarah: Hey, somebody’s coming!
*all jump behind the wall thingy surrounding the house*
Mao: *comes out in his pajamas, walks over to the garbage and throws the garbage bag in*
Sarah: MAO! *jumps out and runs over to him*
Mao: Oh no! I’m so embarrassed! You saw me taking out the trash in my pj’s! *starts having... “spasms”*
Sarah: Oh Mana, this is the greatest birthday present ever!
Mana: *appears* You wrang?!
Sarah: No, be the not-talking Mana!
Mana: Oh, but I get so tired of being silent... I WANT TO BE HEARD!
Sarah: Aww, c’mon, it’s my birthday, Mana!
Tatsurou: Mmm, Manaaaaaaa... *starts gnawing on Mana*
Mana: Get this thing off me! *tries to run away but Tatsurou just chases him around Mao’s yard*
Sarah: Mao! We have the door! THE DOOR!
Mao: What?! Who are you and what do you want with me! Please, I have a family!
Sarah: No you don’t.
Mao: Well... I might... SOMEDAY!
Sarah: ...
Mao: Ok, you got me. Now... what the hell are you talking about?
Sarah: That door from Doraemon, the one that takes you everywhere! IT’S HOW WE GOT IN YOUR YARD!
Mao: Hmm, is that so?
Sarah: Yes. And I know how much all crazy you j-rockers want access to that door, I’ve read too many EXPECT RUSH interviews to be fooled -
Mao: Wait, it’s how you got here, right, but how do you get back to it from here?
Sarah: ...Well...
Mao: ...
Sarah: I dunno! I’ve never watched Doraemon, it’s before my time!
Mao: Neither have I! Us j-rockers just made a pact that we’d all pretend we’d seen it! WE’RE ALL FAKES! *bursts into tears*
Sarah: There, there, it’s ok.... everyone knows....
Yukke: *stops chasing around Tatsurou who is chasing around Mana who has taken up chasing a butterfly* I’ve seen it!
Sarah: Really?!
Yukke: No.
Sarah: ...
Mao: ...
Yukke: Hahahahahaaaa!
Mana: *stops* It’s ok, everyone! We all know I have magickal powers and can take annnnnnnyone annnnnywhere they wanna go annnnnnnytime they wanna go there.
Taturou: MMMM, butterfly! *eats the butterfly*
Mana: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY ONLY FRIEND!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!?!??? *collapses dramatically*
Sarah: Damn it! Our only way out just fainted.
Mao: *jumps on Mana* Wake up you crazy broad! GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Sarah: MAO! Snap out of it, you live here!
Mao: Huh?
Sarah: THIS IS YOUR YARD!
Mao: *looks around* Oh... so it is! Haha, seeya suckers! *twitches into the house and looks at them from inside through the window blinds, laughing crazily*
Sarah: Geez, one minute my birthday is great.. The next minute it sucks.... can’t it just make up it’s mind?!
Yukke: *poking Mana with a stick while Tatsurou forages for nuts and berries in the bushes*
Sarah: Well Mana’s here.... Tatsurou’s here... I’m in Mao’s yard.... I guess things aren’t SO bad....
Mao: *suddenly sitting on his porch in a rocking chair, rifle in hand*
Sarah: ...
Mao: Get off my property, you crazy kids! *shakes fist and fires wildly into the air*
Sarah: Mao, you’re losin’ it!
Mao: I already lost it! *shoots at them*
Sarah: AH! Grab Mana and let’s get outta here! *runs down the street followed by Yukke who is trying to drag Tatsurou away from the grass he’s eating and also drag an unconscious Mana along the sidewalk*
Sarah: *stops at the street corner, panting* Well, this is just great! I’m spending my birthday on a STREETCORNER!
Yukke: Well, at least you feel at home, right?!
Sarah: ...
Yukke: Sorry, I couldn’t resist... Hey look! A limo!
Limo: *drives up and the tinted window rolls down to reveal Gackt sitting inside*
Sarah: Gackt! What are you doing here?
Gackt: What’s it look like I’m doing? I’m riding around in my big, fancy, shiny limo.
Sarah: But why aren’t you back at your house? You shouldn’t leave all those bad-boy rock stars there alone. I mean, you know how they can get, what with the Ruki, and... Miyavi, and such.
Gackt: Well, I needed a break from all the.... ya know... cooking, and cleaning... and... crack-dealing...
Sarah: Ken’s at it again, eh?
Gackt: Yup. So what are YOU doing out here? Why is Mana passed out, and who are these pimples?
Yukke: HEY! Watch it, buddy!
Gackt: Oh yeah, whatcha gonna do about it, shroom-do?
Yukke: THIS! *is about to punch Gackt when the limo drives away at 90mph while Gackt laughs insanely*
Sarah: GR! You just chased away our ride home! Now we’re gonna havta WALK to Gackt’s house!
Yukke: So?
Sarah: We don’t even know where we are!
Tatsurou: Hey, that limo has pretty darn good acceleration...
Yukke: ...
Tatsurou: Mmmm, cars.... *walks out in the street and tries to eat the cars, cars swerve everywhere to get outta the way, major crashage ensues*
Sarah: Dammit! Get him and let’s get outta here before the cops show up! *runs away followed by Yukke who again has to drag the dead Mana and crazed Tatsurou*
*stop running in front of a house that looks suspiciously like Mao’s because it is Mao’s*
Sarah: Crap, we went around in a circle...
Mao: *comes out on the porch* Didn’t I tell ya’ll to stay of my property! Go on, git!
Sarah: Mao, stop pretending to be an old redneck and let us in! We’re running from the law!
Mao: Heh? What for?
Sarah: Tater Tats ran out in the street and well... the rest is history. Now let us in!
Mao: Well... ok. But under one condition! You never tell anyone about seeing me take out the trash in my pj’s... *looks around to make sure no one’s listening*
Sarah: Don’t worry, I’m good at keeping secrets.

***

Yukihiro: Hm, I have the strangest feeling that someone, somewhere, is talking about my secret love for Tatsurou.... oh well! *skips.... SKIPS... yeah, I don’t think we need to go through this again.*

***

Sarah: Yucky, get Mana and c’mon. *all run inside Mao’s house as sirens sound in the distance*

[to be continued]

Gackt! WILL SARAH AND YUCKY AND TATER TATS AND MANA BE TAKEN.... DOWNTOWN?! WILL MAO GO CRAZY AND TRY TO KILL THEM?!?!! WILL GACKT COME BACK TO SAVE THE DAY?! WILL NONE OF THAT HAPPEN DUE TO ME NEVER FINISHING THIS EPISODE?!?!!??! (I’ll give you a hint: the answer is yes) STAY TUNED FOR MORE BPASS SUGARY GOODNESS!!!! HAPPY 16TH, SARAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

episode 40 plz
return plz