Isnt’ this bizzare? I’m writing episode 26 on the 26th of the month. Wowie... Okay, anyway, back to the fun! I hope you know what’s going on, cause I’m not wasting precious time to explain things. Now, start reading plix.

The interesting part of the story with the Gackts:

Tetsu: *comes running into the nasty ass bar bathroom* Gackt! *looks around feverishly* Gackt, where the hell are you? *slips in a pile of crapola* EW! GROSS!
Gackt’s voice from somewhere seemingly far away: Oh, Mana... hohohooo...
Tetsu: ...Gackt...? *gets up, covered in shit* ...
Mana: Gackt, are you trying to seduce me? *giggle* It’s working...
Tetsu: Oh no...
Gackt: Wait, I think someone’s in here! SHHHH!
Tetsu: It’s too late, you’ve already killed me. *dies*
Gackt: *bursts out of the last stall* TETSU! *rushes over* Oh no! We’ve cut him down in his prime! WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!
Mana: *flips his curly blue hair* You know this boy?
Gackt: I did... *sniff* But..we killed him with the power of yaoi magic...
Mana: *glares at Gackt* I’ve got your yaoi magic, you cheating sonuva–
Tetsu: *wakes up and smacks him*
Mana: Uh! Well, I never!
Tetsu: Look, lady, I don’t know who the hell you are, but you can’t talk to Gackt like that while you shake your weave!
Mana: ...Gackt! I demand you disown having anything at all to do with this freak of nature!
Tetsu: Well, look who’s talkin’! You look like a French whore on her way to a funeral!
Mana: *whacks him with a sparkly blue purse that matches perfectly with his outfit* Yes! I win! *runs away*
Gackt: ...
Tetsu: ...
Mana: *pops back in* You haven’t seen the last of me, you inferior beings! *darts off laughing insanely*
Tetsu: Gackt. You have got to start choosing your females more wisely.
Gackt: Uh...right, yeah.
Tetsu: Now I think you’ve got some explaining to do.
Gackt: ...
Tetsu: I thought you were completely void of personality, and here you are sweet talking some 18th Century escapee!
Gackt: Well, I was walking around in an apathetic daze when I came across Mana and I remembered that my perverted side has yet to escape.
Tetsu: Well, speaking of all that happy horseshit, there’s one piece of your personality out there!
Gackt: Really, is that so, you sexy hunk o’--
Tetsu: Gackt! Get a hold of yourself!
Gackt: Sorry. Perverted is the only thing I know how to be now.
Tetsu: Well, I suppose some things never change... Now, let’s get out there and get back what makes Gackt Gackt!
Sakura: TRUE DAT! WORD!
Tetsu: ...
Sakura: What.. That was the line, right...? ‘True dat, word!’? ..Right?
Tetsu: I was just thinking... the whole teleportation bit is getting so old...
Gackt: I agree. I’m gonna complain to the writer one o’ these days. Who is it, anyway?
Sakura: jo...
Gackt: ...oh. Well, I’ll complain to the director then.
Tetsu: ...
Sakura: ...
Gackt: ...Damn that little bitch!
Mana: *pops in again* Hey, can you hurry this scene the hell up? These damn heels are killing me...
Tetsu: Sorry, Mana.
Gackt: Ok, let’s do it.

TAKE 2!

Sakura: TRUE DAT! WORD!
Tetsu: GACKT! It’s Sakura!
Gackt: Yes, I can see that.
Tetsu: Sakura, where have you been all these years?!
Sakura: Umm...I was only gone for like 1 episode... Tetsu, you’re such a fruit cup.
Tetsu: *looks sad*
Gackt: Sakura, you’ve gotta help us get my personality back. I’m nothing without it.
Sakura: Yeah, that’s true.
Tetsu: So you’ll help us?
Sakura: Tetsu, Gackt... Both of you are beyond help.
Gackt: Ok, that may be true also. But can I make a suggestion?
Sakura: Yeeeaaap.
Gackt: Can we leave this public bathroom?
*some guy walks in*
Guy: Oh, excuse me ladies, I’m sorry! *runs out with that wrong-bathroom-look on his face*
Tetsu: ...So how many times is that now?
Gackt: 76.
Sakura: ...

Somewhere in the “real” world...

jo: Any minute now.
Sarah: Any minute now...?
jo: They’ll wake up. And we can start our new lives! HAHAA–
Sarah: jo, how can you just sit back while Hyde, Ken, Tetsu, Sakura, Gackt, and...umm... oh geez. Uh...Yu..yu..
jo: Yukihiro.
Sarah: Yeah, him. Well anyway, they’re all out there alone in the world!
jo: Technically, they’re not *in* the world, they’re somewhere in some other crazy dimension doing Gackt only knows what.
Sarah: I bet they’re plotting against us right now...sigh. I miss ‘em already. Tetsu constantly bursting into song, Ken always chasing Yukihiro around, skillet in hand...
jo: Yeah, and the way Hyde used to always steal stuff from your purse...
Sarah: What?
jo: Nothing.
Sarah: I also miss Gackt, and the way he used to punch me in the face every time I woke him up...
jo: Yeah, and he was always talking to himself in the bathroom.
Sarah: And fainting...
jo: And...teasing everyone with his HOTTNESS!
Sarah: ...
jo:...
S+J: I MISS MY JROOOCKEEERSSS! WAAAAAAH!!!
Gojyo: *grabs them from behind* Hahaha! Got ‘em!
jo: *elbows him in the gonads*
Gojyo: EEK! *lets go of them*
Sarah: YAY! *grabs the Bazooka!*
jo: Aren’t you supposed to be off in la-la land somewhere, Gojyo?!
Sarah: Yeah, you’re not due up for another-*looks at watch*-15 seconds!
jo: That’s right, on the floor!
Gojyo: ...Get them! *Hakkai, Goku, and Sanzo jump out from behind him and attack*
Sarah: I’d resist, but I can’t say I’m not enjoying this! *gets carried away*
jo: ME TOO! WOOHOO!

And now some more of jo’s favorite part:

(Psst...imagine that for some reason unbeknownst to you..or me... The bar is empty save for Hyde, Ken, and Yukihiro, all of whom are drunk, plus Gackt and Tetsu.)

Tetsu: *shaking Yukihiro by the shirt collar* Yukihiro. Listen to me. WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO?!
Yuki: But...*hic* Tetsu! You...listen..to me. Gackt is right...*hic* there! *points to the real Gackt and then passes out*
Tetsu: *drops him* It’s hopeless...
Ken: I know where he went...*hic*
Tetsu: Where?!
Gackt: ...
Ken: Come’ere...
Tetsu: *leans in*
Ken: Closer...
Tetsu: *gets closer*
Ken: Closer...
Tetsu: *closer*
Ken: Closer...
Gackt: *puts his hand on the back of Tetsu’s head and shoves Tetsu’s face onto Ken’s* There.
Ken: *falls off his chair, passed out*
Tetsu: *looks toward the ceiling* WHHYYYYYYY? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAAAKEEN MEEE?!!!?!?!
Gackt: Well. I was gonna suggest we just get drunk now, but I can see you’re busy having an episode.
Tetsu: *sits at the counter* Sigh...
Gackt: *sits down next to him* We’re all alone in this stupid bar... They’re all passed out. Dumb Hyde, I always thought he could hold his liquor.
Tetsu: How can he hold his liquor if he’s too busy holding his peter?!
Gackt: What?
Tetsu: Nothing... You know, you’re really boring without your personality.
Gackt: I know. All I have left is my pervertedness so the only thing I ever feel is the desire to hump stuff.
Tetsu: *moves down a seat*
Gackt: Ok, so what’s our plan of action.
Tetsu: We don’t have one. Why don’t you think of something, or did you lose your brain? ...Hahahahaa! I made a–
*3 masked burglars burst through the doors*
Tetsu: ...funny...
Burglar 1: This is a stick up!
Tetsu: Uh... we’re closed?
Burglar 1: Nice try, punk! We know you don’t work here! And it’s not like you’re Gackt or the members of Laruku or anything! *raises gun*
Tetsu: Gackt, I just want you to know that I love you. And if we die today, Ken and Yukihiro would want you to know that they shoved your porno movies into the garbage disposal during a science experiment.
Gackt: If I had the ability to become angry, you’d all be in serious trouble.
Burglar 1: Hello, I’m trying to rob you here!
Tetsu: Oh, right, continue.
Burglar 1: Now, go get them!
Burglars 2+3: *lunge forth in an attempt to attack Tetsu and Gackt*
Gackt: *jumps in front of Tetsu and uses his mad karate skills to knock both guys on the floor*
Tetsu: GACKT, YOU SAVED MY LIFE!
Gackt: Yeah.
Burglar 2: *gets up and resumes fighting stance, but his mask falls off and he’s...*
Tetsu: Oh my Gackt! It’s a Gackt!
Gackt: Alright. We found one of my personality traits. Wooooohoo.
Tetsu: Gackt, you have to beat him so we can figure out how to get him back in you!
Gackt#?: You won’t beat me that easily! Remember – I *am* you!
Burglar 3: *stands up* Try beating us both! Hahahahaaaa–*mask falls off and he’s a Gackt, too* Darn.
Tetsu: Wow! What are the chances!
Gackt: Tetsu, I’ll take down these two, and you go after their leader. I bet he’s a part of me, too.
Tetsu: Good thinking, I’m on it! *grabs a bottle of whiskey from behind the counter and smashes it off of Burglar 1's head* YEAH! YOU’RE GOIN’ DOWN, BIATCH!
Burglar 1: ...
Gackt: Tetsu-*dodges a blow*-I can’t beat them without my personality. We’ve got to figure out how to get them back inside me. [insert punctuation marks that would make this seem less gay]
Tetsu: Way ahead of ya! *rips Burglar 1's mask off* OHMYGACKT! You’re...
Miyavi: Tetsu!
Tetsu: Miyavi!
Miyavi: ...No, you Tetsu, me Miyavi.
Tetsu: What are you, some kinda cave man...?
Miyavi: no, I told you: I’m MIYAVI!
Tetsu: OK!
Miyavi: ...
Tetsu: ...
T+M: CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!
Miyavi: Jynx! Can’t talk til I say your name three times! Nyah nyah nyaaaah! *sticks his tongue out and runs away*
Tetsu: ...
Gackt#?: *stops fighting the real Gackt* Alright, the jig is up! We’re outta here!
Miyavi: *stops in his tracks* Not so fast, succckaaaas! *pulls out something with a little button on it and both the cloneish Gackts get electrifried and are now knocked out cold*
Gackt: ...
Tetsu: I don’t get it.
Miyavi: Long story. But you should have told me you were you!
Tetsu: Umm...don’t you have eyes?!
Miyavi: Well, my contacts were screwing up, and with that horrid fashion statement on my head I couldn’t see shit! But you saved me!
Tetsu: um...ok...?
Gackt: *goes over and pokes the Gackts* How do I...
Miyavi: So why are there three Gackts? I hired them because I thought they were the best two Gackt impersonators I’d ever seen.
Tetsu: What do you mean you “hired” them?
Miyavi: Well, I–
Tetsu: WAIT! I don’t want to know.
Miyavi: –usually rob banks for a living, but I decided I’d try a bar this time. Figured a bar room brawl wasn’t something I could handle on my own, hired some Gackt clones to help me, and here I am with Tetsu from L’Arc~en~Ciel! Go figure!
Tetsu: ...
Gackt: So how do I get them back into me?
Miyavi: WOAH! Are we talkin’ about yaoi magic here?!
Gackt: Tetsu, will you please explain to this bean pole what the hell is going on.
Tetsu: Gackt, my friend, I can’t say I know...
Gackt: Sigh. ...Fine. I’ll tell you, but there’s only gonna be periods, so prepare to be bored to death.
Miyavi: I was born ready! ...I was also born spitting nickels!
Tetsu: I believe it.
Gackt: Ok, one day my personality escaped in the form of clones of..me. The end.
Miyavi: Well! Ain’t that a punch in the tit!
Tetsu: ...*starts smacking his head off the wall*

And now a little taste of what’s happening in Dimension one:

jo+Sarah: *hanging over a vat of bubbling lava* AHH–

Annnnd, that’s all yer gettin’. Now it’s time to end this episode. I’m reluctant to stop here, but it must be done, ‘cause I think this baby’s gettin’ a little too long. So, time for the dramatic prequel thingy of the next episode: Gackt explains his predicament to Miyavi, who seems to be able to help them... will they be able to recapture all of Gackt’s Gackts in time to return to Sarah and jo’s house before they get burnt to a crisp? And what’s with all these guest stars?! Just where in the name of Gackt has Sakura gone to?! (I mean, one minute he’s here, next minute he’s gone...)Will Ken, Yukihiro and Hyde EVER rejoin the world of sans-plot-ish fan fiction HELL?! FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON BPASS, WHILE I GO FIX MY CAPS KEY! WAH000TNESSSS!