Well, I know what you’re thinking: you’ve seen it all. Right?! NO, STUPID! This season, there’s gonna be even more ceiling fan-swinging, flaming tampons, police chases, explosions, and pocky induced haphazardness than you can shake your peter at! Or...maybe we’ll get some new material. Ha! Yeah, right.

Ok, now to get to the goods. AND I DON’T MEAN GACKT’S PRIVATES!

Cleaning day!
Yuki: KEN, GET IN HERE SO I CAN PUNCH YOU IN THE ARMPIT!
Ken: YUKIHIRO, GET IN HERE AND EAT A BAGEL OFF YOUR MOM’S DICK!
Yuki: ...WAAAH!
Sarah: Enough with the caps! And the profanity.
Ken: Now, was that a racial slur?!
Sarah: No. No, it was not a racial slur.
Ken: Okay then. I’ll just go about my way.
Sarah: Yeah, you do that.
Ken: Alright. I will.
Yuki: Out of the way, you’re interrupting my cleaning! *knocks them out of the way with a broom*
Sarah: Hey! *falls against a bookcase thingy*
Ken: Oh, let me help you up.
Sarah: *goes to grab his hand*
Ken: *pulls it away* Haha!
Sarah: *picks up the first thing she lays her hand on and konks him on the head with it*
Ken: *doesn’t even notice. Continues to dust...*
Yuki: Ha! She whacked Ken a good one on the noggin!
Ken: What in the name of all things holy is a noggin?!
Sarah: THIS! *smacks him in the head, knocking him against the same bookcase, and then it opens up to be...a SECRET PASSAGEWAY!*
Yuki: *watches Ken fall in and then the bookcase/door swings shut*
Sarah: ...
Yuki: DUN DUN DUN....dramatic reverb!
Sarah: You never saw nuttin nowhere.
Yuki: Yes I did.
Sarah: BLASPHEMY!!!!! ((jo: THAT’S MY LINE BEECH!)) *Sarah pushes on the bookcase*
Yuki: And where do you think you’re goin’, little lady?
Sarah: To get your friend.
Yuki: Oh, so now he’s my *friend*, huh? Well, what next, my DAD?!
Sarah: Yukihiro. Are you coming or not?
Yuki: Coming, I guess.
Sarah: Then come the fuck on.
Yuki: But how do I come the fuck on? Where’s the fuck? *looks around furiously*
Sarah: Just move! *pulls him in behind her...*

Meanwhile, in the kitchen...

Tetsu: Rollin’ down the street eatin’ pizza...sittin’ on a chair eatin’ pop!
Gackt: Please, Tetsu. Spare us all and stop that hellish singing.
Tetsu: I can’t help it, I’ve got the music in me!
Hyde: You’re gonna have something else in you if you don’t shut up.
Tetsu: Oh, is that so.
Hyde: Yes, it’s so.
Tetsu: Like what?
Hyde: Like my foot.
Tetsu: Silly goose, how’re you gonna get your foot...
Hyde: Oh, I’ll think of something, trust me.
Gackt: Hyde, must you be so violent...?
Tetsu: Yeah, get back on your medication!
Hyde: I DON’T NEED YOUR PILLS!
Tetsu: Gackt, I’m frightened.
Gackt: As am I.
jo: *comes in* Are you maggot meats cleaning in here, or slacking off?!
Tetsu: ...All of the above!
jo: Then I guess it’s time for your punishment.
Hyde: What’s it gonna be this time? Licking the dead flies outta the lamp shades again?!
jo: No...
Tetsu: Aww, man..
jo: I’ve got something better for you this go around, boys! Sarah and her flunkies seem to have hit the road. You’re on living room duty!
Hyde: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo..... Wait, what’s so bad about that?
Gackt: You don’t know?! Hyde!
Hyde: Gackt!
Gackt: Hyde!
Hyde: Gackt!
Gackt: Hyde!
Tetsu: TETSU!
G+H: *stare*
jo: Ok, well anyway, it’s cursed, now get to work. *teleportishness*
Gackt: Cursed. I didn’t know.
Hyde: Ok, let’s go.
Tetsu: Wait!
Hyde: What now...
Tetsu: This is the perfect time to use Ken’s new invention.
Hyde: Sigh. And what would that be?
Tetsu: You know, he invented it for jo’s birthday...
Hyde: ...
Tetsu: A teleporter...
Hyde: ...
Gackt: Banana?
Tetsu: We can teleport ourselves around the house with it. COOL RIGHT?!
Hyde: ERRRRRRRR! Wrong. *goes into the living room*
Tetsu: But...
Hyde: Tetsu, we were two steps away. Get a grip.
Tetsu: Well...what am I supposed to grip?
Gackt: YOUR MOMMA!
Tetsu: HEY! Leave my momma outta this, you greasy Puerto Rican!
Gackt: BLARG! *lunges at Tetsu and they hit the bookcase, falling into the SECRET PASSAGEWAY*
Hyde: Hey you– *turns around and sees that they’re gone* Ok...if you’re gonna try to scare me, then it’s not funny. You can come out...*sees the SECRET PASSAGEWAY* ...of the bookcase. Sigh. I should’ve known something like this would happen. Oh, well... *goes in*

In the kitchen...

Sakura: *comes in the door with a bunch of grocery bags*
jo: *hurries up and pretends she was cleaning*
Sakura: Oh no. Tell me it’s not ‘clean the house’ day...
jo: It’s not ‘clean the house day’.
Sakura: ALRIGHT!
jo: That was a lie.
Sakura: Curse you!
jo: I’ll go, um...put the groceries away, and you can take my job! *throws a bunch of cleaning supplies at him, runs in the living room and starts playing video games*
Sakura: ...sigh. *walks into the living room and throws the stuff on the floor* If you think I’m gonna clean your house, then you’re ...
jo: ...
Sakura: Is...is that a SECRET PASSAGEWAY?
jo: Yeah. Or something.
Sakura: Well...where is everyone?
jo: They all went into the SECRET PASSAGEWAY.
Sakura: Alright. ...So, why do we have to have it in capital letters...?
jo: What?
Sakura: SECRET PASSAGEWAY is always in all caps. Don’t you think it’s weird?
jo: Sakura. I don’t know about you, but I’m real...it’s not like we’re just part of some fan fiction written by some mentally disturbed fan girl.
Sakura: So, what are you saying here.
jo: We’re more than just words on a computer screen! So I don’t know what the hell you mean with your incessant babbling about ‘keyboards’ and ‘caps lock’ and SECRET PASSAGEWAYS!
Sakura: YOU’RE INSANE!
jo: A little, perhaps! *evil laughter*
Sakura: I’m going to the other world! So there!
jo: Well...don’t come back! So THERE!
Sakura: Fine, I won’t!
jo: Fine!
Sakura: FINE! *goes in and shuts the bookcase behind him with a slam*
jo: ...

GACKT! What will happen in the next episode...? Has Sakura lost it?! Where does this SECRET PASSAGEWAY lead, and why won’t jo’s fingers allow her to type it in lower case letters?! Find out as the story continues, with even more random acts of stupidity in the next nail-biting episode!