Before this marvelous episode begins, let’s have a word from the director/producer. ...That’s me, ya stoops. Well, the last time I sat down and wrote the previous episode was...I believe sometime just before school started. Hence the whole ‘Back to school special’ thingy. But I mean, who really wants to celebrate the return to torture? Not me. So now, here it is, October, and the day after my birthday. (As can be seen, the last episode never got finished so the only logical thing to do was to have everyone die. But it’s all a joke. We’re alive, don’t worry.) It’s been a while, but I don’t think I’m too rusty. We’ll see what changes now that jo is 16! Read on...

[NOTE: While jo’s birthday actually falls on October the 22nd, this particular episode was written from January 6th - 7th, 2005 because jo’s compooper decided to take up smoking crack. I’m gonna start putting the dates on these things.... Anyway, enjoy.]

~Jo’s Birthday Special~

Hmm...I think we need BIGGER LETTERS!

AWESOMENESS!!!!!!

And now, the entertainment:

jo: WOOHOO! My 16th birthday! TIME TO GET DRUNK!
Sarah: Uh, I thought that was what you do on your 21st birthday.
jo: Yeah... I guess.
[MESSAGE FROM THE SURGEON GENERAL: Don’t drink and drive! Well, hey, if you’re only 16, don’t drive at all! Until you get your licence, I mean. And don’t drink either...if you’re only 16, that is... So, who the hell is this “Surgeon General” guy, anyway?]
Sarah: What was that?
jo: What? I didn’t hear anything. *looks around*
Sarah: ...
jo: Sarah...are you hearing messages from the Surgeon General again?
Sarah: ...no...
Yuki: *busts in the door* GUESS WHAT!!
Sarah: What?!
Yuki: How should I know?!
jo: ...
Yuki: ...
Sarah: ...
jo: So, what did you get me for my birthday, Yukihiiiiiiiiiro?
Yuki: Uh...nothing if you’re gonna say my name like that.
jo: I’m not.
Yuki: Ok, then, I got you...uh... THIS FRYING PAN!
jo: *smack* NO! BAD YUKIHIRO! BAD!! ...That’s right, get in your cage. You can sit in there and think about what you’ve done.
Yuki: Arf arf arf *runs away with his tail between his legs*
Ken: *appears* Now see what you done did?!
Sarah: ...
jo: What did I done do?
Ken: I dunno.
Sarah: So, where is everyone else? And since when can you teleport, Ken?
Ken: Since I got my latest invention up and running.
Sarah: That’s scary.
Ken: Yeah! You should see your electricity bill.
jo: What?
Ken: Nothing.
Sarah: Ok, why are we wasting time? Let’s just get right to the fun, shall we?
Tetsu: *teleportation* FUN? WHERE?!
Hyde: * teleportation again* Fun! I wanna have some fun!
Gackt: *and one more time...* I’m here for the party! AND I AIN’T LEAVIN’ TIL THEY THROW ME OUT~!
Ken: Gackt?
Gackt: Yes?
Ken: Don’t ever sing country music again.
Gackt: Amen.
Ken: ...
Sarah: Ok, let’s recap. Everyone just teleported magically...into the kitchen. Ok, very bizarre..
Tetsu: And for my next trick–OW! Hey...who hit me? I PITY DA FOO’!
Sarah: OH DEAR GOD! I FEARED THIS DAY FOR SO LONG–THE DAY TETSU THOUGHT HE WAS MR. T! AND NOW...IT’S HERE!
jo: Time to run!
Hyde: To the party!
Ken: To the party!
Gackt: To the party!
Sakura: *appears* To the par-tay!
Yuki: ...Must you always be different?
Sakura: Sorry.

AND NOW THE PAR-TAY~! W00TNESS <33333

Then jo realized that she didn’t have any ideas for this episode, so she decided all she wanted for her special day was to...

Well, it’s been real. Kind of. I mean...we started out with Tetsu roller skating to the crack house and now we’ve somehow managed to crawl our way to Tetsu as Mr. T. And this is the end of the first season of Backstage Pass! SOB! But never fear, MORE CRACKERS ARE ON THE WAY! I mean, EPISODES! YAAAAAY.