jo: Welcome, BPass fans!
Sarah: I’m Sarah -
jo: And I’m jo! Duh!
Sarah: And we will be hosting this episode–
jo: This *wonderful* episode...
Sarah: What?
jo: Forgot the wonderful.
Sarah: That’s ridiculous, just shut up while I talk...
jo: HEY! If jo writes WONDERFUL on the cue cards, then Sarah WILL SAY WONDERFUL GODDAMIT!
Sarah: GR! Sigh... Well, here’s some WONDER-FUCKIN-FUL bloopers!
jo: Better. Much.

---

Sakura: Word ta ya mama, G!
Director: CUT!
Sakura: What? That was good, right?
Director: The line is... ‘Word’.
Sakura: Oh. Woopsie!

---

Ken: CAN’T YOU SEE YOUR CONSTANT FIGHTING IS TEARING US ALL APART?! *rips off his shirt*
D: Cut... There’s no need to get naked.
Ken: Sorry, I got carried away

---

Tetsu: Let’s go retarded.
Gackt: *falls over laughing*
Tetsu: What?

---

Yuki: What are we holding?
Ken: Our peeners... HAH! I said peeners!
Yuki: It’s not a word!

CUT!

Yuki: What are we holding?
jo: Gackt’s penis!
Ken: Hey! Hello? My line!
jo: Heheheheeh.
Gackt: ...

Cut...

---

jo: Those were a few bloopers. They weren’t very funny, but, sadly, they were the best ones.
Sarah: That’s correct. They were just a cover up for what this special episode really is...
jo: In order to be excited about our 20th episode in previous episodes, we needed to disguise it as an episode of all bloopers! But, in actuality, this is...
Sarah: Oh, the tension is mounting in my nipples! @w@
jo: Ok, well you just keep that to yourself..
Sarah: Right.
jo: This is really.... *DRUM ROLL, YUKIHIRO!* A ‘behind the scenes’ episode! YEAH!

And now... Behind the scenes with the cast of Bpass!!

---

*Tetsu is running around like crazy, torching the set* Tetsu: Hahahaha! Burn! BURN TO THE GROUND, YOU HELLISH SET, YOU! I’LL NEVER HAVE TO DO ANOTHER GRUELING SCENE OF THIS SHOW EVER IN MY LIFE! FREEEEEEDOOOOOM!!!!!

---

Ok, I want you to forget that you ever had that little peek behind the scenes. Again, we’ve lied to you. This is actually a ‘The Making of...’ show. Enjoy!

****

***Camera zooms in on jo, sitting in an orange director’s chair, while a catchy little tune plays in the background***

jo: Welcome everyone, to The Making of Backstage Pass. I am the director of this epic series, the wonderful, beautiful, talented, brilliantly brilliant...jo. Also known as j03y, j zero three y, joseph, radical jo, j0 t3h r4d!k4l 0|\|3, jo the great, the great jo, the really great jo, the wonderful jo, and, of course...‘that one weird girl with the glasses’.

You may...or may not...be wondering where I got the inspiration for this show. Well! Who really cares about that, right? You’re here for the action. I can see it in your eyes.

On today’s special 20th episode, we will be walking you through the making of episodes 12 and 13, possibly two of the most obscure episodes ever to escape jo’s mind. In these, there is no Gackt! Possibly the only flaw. As we all know, Gackt is bish-o-licious, hott, sexxy with 2 x’s, and a whole lot of other words that - in a secret and ancient language known as Fangirlish - mean you wanna do him. But anyway, he’s not in this one. Get over it.

****

Yuki: At the beginning of this particular episode...myself, Sakura, and Sarah are playing a card game called ‘Drug Dealer.’ It’s actually a lot of fun, but see, the director made a mistake here. You actually need at least 4 people to play. But...it was only the three of us. But, she’s only human, and–
jo: What?
Yuki: What...what?
jo: Umm...did you say...I made a mistake?
Yuki: Umm...yeah.
jo: And you said...I was...human?!
Yuki: Yes...
jo: CRINGE!
Yuki: Ok, ok, sorry! Just get the hell out of my inner feelings sequence!
jo: Glare. GLARE, I SAY! *walks away backwards while glaring*
Yuki: Sigh. See? That is what I have to work with. Everyday. When I got the call, I was under the impression that she was...a good director, but... *sigh* I soon realized–*gets hit with a shoe and is knocked out cold*

****

Sarah: During this...episode, episode 12... we um... we finally touched upon the fact that... jo and I don’t have parents. Now, don’t get me wrong - we have parents in real life, but...well, you know. Having your parents around just kind of, uh, ruins the whole... ‘hot jrockers live in my house’ thing.

[cut scene]

jo: *throws a steak knife and it sticks in the wall *right* next to his head*
Yuki: Woah...now that is some mad skill. Great shot!
jo: Are you crazy? I missed...

[cut scene end]

****

Yuki: *still out cold*

****

jo: For this scene...it took a couple of tries. I did put a knife in Yukihiro’s head, um, more than a few times, but....y’know, he’s already retarded, so... *nod* We eventually hired a professional, anyway.

****

In the making of this particular episode, several stunt doubles were required to create the best action scenes. Observe!

[cut scene]

Tetsu: Where am I...oh lord, help me... *feeling his way around* What the...is this...underwear?! Oh dear god! I must be...in the basement, crawling around in the dirty laundry pile! But this doesn’t feel like the carpeting in the basement... *hits his head on the wall* Owie... hey, my watch has a light on it! (Since when do I wear a watch...? jo: Since I needed a way for you to realize that you’re in my room!) Hey! Quit messing with my mind! Wait a minute...I’m in your room?!?!?!?!?!? Oh. Not so bad. *walks over to turn the light on. Trips and falls face first in the cat litter box!* MMMMM, CHOCOLATE!

[cut scene end]

Now, that may not seem very dangerous, but we simply couldn’t *pay* Tetsu to slam his face in a litter box.

****

Tetsu: The Tetsu doesn’t...eat...cat doo-doo. *cringe* ... *adjusts sunglasses and fluffs purple boa*

****

Hyde: I tried to get him to do it. Told him it would be funnier that way. But...he never listens to me. It’s just like the time he bit my shoulder on stage. I says to him, I says ‘Tetsu...

3 hours later...

Hyde: And that’s how I met Santa Claus.

****

[cut scene]

Yuki: HELP! I’m stuck in a plotless fanfic of craziness!

[cut scene end]

****

Ken: During episode 12... at the end, we finally realize that it’s jo who is writing this fan fiction, therefore it’s her fault, so we decide to..form an angry mob. My idea. I play the smart one...of course. And...it’s actually quite comical...when uh, in the following show we decide to fight over the keyboard. Genius idea.

***

Episode 13...

jo: This episode is when things get good. The gang...chases after me, and my tent - the one I camp out near the mailbox in - is a secret lab. Heh, another one of my great ideas...

[cut scene]

Ken: OHMYGOD! AN OWL!
Tetsu: WHERE?!
Ken: *pulls out his autograph book* I can’t believe it’s a real owl....
Can I have your autograph? Right here next to Gackt and my dad... Hey!

[cut scene end]

Tetsu: If you’ve ever watched a horrible little show called ‘Jimmy Neutron’ then you’ll know where jo got this idea from. Ken tends to say this...a lot. In case you don’t get it, it’s implying that Gackt’s autograph and his dad’s autograph...are in the same handwriting...so...Gackt is his dad.... But not really.

****

Gackt: Contrary to popular belief...I am not Ken’s father.

****

Sarah: jo gets a lot of the ideas for these stories....from all these different places, shows, umm...me, of course... The jokes could come from shows like Family Guy, Spongebob SquarePants, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, umm...Futurama, maybe... It’s really eclectic. The original verison of the “jokes” may not be that funny, but really - what isn’t funny when some hot Japanese guy is doing it?

****

[cut scene]

Sarah: WE BE BLACK!

[cut scene end]

****

Sarah: That one came from...our friend Sonja. She is really hilarious. We were in a chat room for...African Americans. But...we’re not black, so she tried to make it sound like we were, and...that came out. Sometimes, I really feel that it would be an advantage, for the people who watch the show, to...to really know us. My sister and me. Because so much of it all comes from inside jokes. We’re the brains behind it all.

****

jo: Yes...there are a lot of inside jokes. That’s why I think...our ratings are lower than...well, than they should be.

....

jo: And, uh, *I* am the brains.

****

[cut scene]

Ok so then we were all like BOOM yeah we came down on that bitch and we used Hyde for bait and she was all like OH HYDE I LOVE YOU BE MY KING! So we said oh no ya don’t Ken is writin it now so BOO-YAH yeah that’s what we said then we put her in the hole and went back to the house yeah she was screamin all night long. But we just threw stuff at her and she stopped and she couldn’t fly out or nothing because I AM WRITING THIS STORY!

[cut scene end]

****

Sakura: I really enjoyed having Ken do a part of this episode. I liked the idea of how it got switched around from one person to the next...while everybody fought over the keyboard... And at the end, I got it.

***

[cut scene]

Ken: What if...gulp...
Hyde: Yeah, what if GULP?!

[cut scene]

****

Yuki: *still out cold* ... SNORRRREEE....

****

Ken: I think...that I totally rocked with that keyboard. I mean, in my opinion, I should have had it the whole time. In my opinion, I should be the director of this show! In my opinion, it’s–*gets hit with a shoe* ...Well, ow, dammit, ow!

****

jo: *hurries back to her seat...not wearing shoes...* Well, it’s been real. Now that you’ve seen behind the scenes, you can...well, actually, this sucked, didn’t it? Oh well...enjoy the credits. They HAVE MORE BLOOPERS! XD Heh, just kidding. They don’t. Really.

****