In order to make up for the disappointing unfunniness (and yes, that is a word) of last time, jo plans to make this the funniest damn episode you’ll ever piss yourself over! YA HEAR!
Well, anyway...it’s finally summer in Bpass world, and Gackt has left the household. Surprisingly, he seems to have been the life of the party, seeing as things are now boring as frig... As they await his return, no one can seem to find anything to do, and when boredom sets in, well...boredom makes people do crazy things. Maybe it will make crazy people do...normal things?
Playing 'Drug Dealer'! Yaaaay!
Sarah: ...
Yuki: *wink wink*
Sarah: Hahah! Nice one Yuki, I’m the sheriff!
Yuki: Damn! Shot down by the man...
Sakura: Yukihiro, you really suck at this game.
Yuki: And I suppose you’re the master...?
Sakura: Weeeell...it *is* what I do for a living...
Sarah: *shudder*
Yuki: ...what was that for?
Sarah: Oh, I just find it hard to believe sometimes that I’ve got a drug dealer living in my house...
Sakura: *Your* house?
Sarah: Yes. This is *my* house.
Yuki: Yeah, I’ve always thought - why don’t you guys have, like...parents or anything?
Sarah: Yukihiro?!
Yuki: What?
Sarah: Shut up!
Meanwhile...
Hyde: This pool is totally bitchin’. *floating around jo and Sarah’s pool in a tubey thing, wearing big sunglasses*
Tetsu: Damn straight.
Ken: *comes running out the door and across the porch* CANNONBALL!
Tetsu: Ken, no! It’s only 2 feet deep!!!!
Ken: *splash* OWWWWWW!!
Hyde: ...
Down by the mailbox...
jo: *camped out by the mailbox with a PS2, FF7 and a box of pocky* sniff....sniff....I smell...THE MAIL TRUCK! *hurls herself from the tent and chases the mail truck down the street*
Later at dinner...
Sarah: Did you ever think that maybe the reason your CD isn’t coming is because you chase the mailman away every time he tries to deliver it
jo: Don’t you take that tone with me, little missy!
Sakura: Hey, that’s my line!
Yuki: You should be buying our CD, anyway! Not *the pillows*, no one even knows who they are, and if you ask me, they–
jo: *throws a steak knife and it sticks in the wall *right* next to his head*
Yuki: Woah...now that is some mad skill. Great shot!
jo: Are you crazy? I missed.
Hyde: Anyway, I don’t think she needs to buy our CDs, Yuki. I mean...she’s got us, isn’t that right?
Tetsu: Yeah, and we’re the next best thing! *thrusts his fist into the air*
Ken: No, Tetsu, actually we’re...the first best thing.
Tetsu: Oh! *thrusts his fist into the air, this time while holding a fork...potatoes fly everywhere*
Ken: NOW LICK IT UP!
Tetsu: *sob*
Later, in the middle of the night (DURING A THUNDERSTORM!(like always))...
Ken: *sleeping on the couch* ...SNORE!
Tetsu: AH! *wakes up from sleeping on the floor* Damn Ken... *slams a pillow on his face*
Ken: Gackt...oh, Gacktttttt.t.....mumble mumble...
Tetsu: ...Disturbance acknowledged. Now exiting the household. *takes his pillows and blankets towards the door, opens it, hears a clap of thunder and turns around to go back inside...as soon as he closes the door, he hears someone banging on it* What the sex?! *opens it*
jo: Tetsu...IT’S OUT THERE! *cling*
Tetsu: What are you talking about? Don’t tell me you...left the mailbox?!
jo: Yeah, well, it’s raining and all. I figure the mail probably won’t come in the middle of the night, anyway.
Tetsu: So what was all that...about the...”It’s here!”
jo: I said “It’s out there,” not “It’s here!” Sheesh. Get a hearing aid. *walks past him into the living room, getting everything wet*
Tetsu: sigh... *closes the door*
jo: I think I’ll stay out here with you and Ken. Don’t wanna get my room wet.
Tetsu: Yeah. Hyde’s in your bed, anyway...
jo: He is?! *runs into her room*
Tetsu: *closes her door and puts a chair in front of it* Heheh...the master strikes again...
jo: *muffled cursing* Tetsu, you lied to me!
Tetsu: ...
jo: I can’t believe you - hey, pocky!
Tetsu: Please, no applause, just throw money...*trips over Hyde and falls on Ken*
Ken: WHAT THE FRIG IS GOING ON?!
Hyde: My spleen!
Ken: Oh, Tetsu. It was just you, dancing around and talking to yourself.
Tetsu: ...oops...?
Hyde: *snore*
Tetsu: *stare*
Ken: We’ll just ignore that.
Tetsu: Right. *from somewhere in the distance they hear an unearthly, blood-curling scream*
Ken: Ok, that was scary!
Tetsu: Hold me!
Ken: Hey, where’s that Yukihiro?!
[jo: Sorry, forgot to put him in here...]
Yuki: Here I am!
Tetsu: Did you hear that?!
Yuki: No, I wasn’t here, damn you!
[jo: I SAID SORRY!]
Tetsu: Quit popping up, you’re supposed to be in your room!
[jo: going...]
Ken: Anyway...Wake up Hyde!
Yuki: But...why?
Ken: Don’t question me!
Yuki: Why not? ...oops, I mean... sorry, won’t happen again.
Hyde: What’s going on...*yawn*
Tetsu: Good, he woke himself up.
Hyde: I had the weirdest dream that Tetsu was dancing around the room talking to himself and then he fell over me...onto you, Ken!
Tetsu: That IS a weird dream. *hears another scream*
Hyde: Oh lord, what was that?
jo: Did somebody say LARD?!
Tetsu: No.
jo: You won’t get rid of me this time...
Sarah: *walks into the living room and turns on the light* Hey, what’s–
Everyone: AH! *scatter like roaches*
Sarah: ...I’m...alone...in the dark...?! *dives under the couch* AH! *flies back out from under the couch*
In the basement...
Yuki: Damn me, damn you, damn it all!
Ken: Hey, you’re the one who ran down here, I just followed you!
Yuki: But the basement...of all places!
Ken: Like I said...your fault.
Yuki: Hey, where’d you get that flashlight?
Ken: It’s my flashlight.
Yuki: Yeah, but where’d you get it?
Ken: Shut up.
Yuki: Ok. So...why do you suppose we’re wandering around like this? Like we’re lost or something? This house isn’t exactly a mansion...
Ken: It’s dramatic, Yuki. Don’t you get it? It wouldn’t be funny if we just...y’know, sat around doing nothing.
Yuki: I guess you’re right. But I really don’t...uh, find it that funny...
jo: Hey. Watch it, buddy.
Yuki: EEP!
Ken: How does she do it?!
Lost in the kitchen...
Hyde: Cupboards...they’re everywhere...wait a minute, I can’t see, it’s dark in here...*trips* OW! Damn you jo! Bad story... Why do *I* have to be lost...in the dark...alone...
jo: You’re right.
Hyde: ...
jo: You’re way too cute to be lost and alone. I think it’s plot twist time! I’ll send me with you. *glomp*
Hyde: Great...
Lost in jo’s room...
Tetsu: Where am I...oh lord, help me... *feeling his way around* What the...is this...underwear?! Oh dear god! I must be...in the basement, crawling around in the dirty laundry pile! But this doesn’t feel like the carpeting in the basement... *hits his head on the wall* Owie... hey, my watch has a light on it! ((Since when do I wear a watch...?)
(jo: Since I needed a way for you to realize that you’re in my room!)) Hey! Quit messing with my mind! Wait a minute...I’m in your room?!?!?!?!?!? Oh. Not so bad. *walks over to turn the light on. Trips and falls face first in the cat litter box!* MMMMM, CHOCOLATE!
Sarah: Tetsu! YOUR FACE! IT’S SHITTY!
K+Y: *come running up the stairs*
Yuki: HELP! I’m stuck in a plotless fanfic of craziness! *sob*
Ken: *falls and starts having convulsions*
Sarah: Who will save us from this PERIL?!?! PERIL, I SAAAAAY!
jo: *walks in, turns on the light* Hey, guys, what’s crackin’?!
Hyde: *point* IT’S HER! She’s making all this happen to us!
Tetsu: LET’S GET HER!
jo: Hmmm...I’ll consider running.
Ken: *lunges at her*
jo: I’LL DO IT! *runs far, far, away, to her mailbox camp*
Hyde: We lost her...
Yuki: Damn...
Ken: I say–
Sarah: Hey, we didn’t lose her! We know where she is! C’mon, what are you waiting for?!
Ken: Like I was saying...*glare* I say we form an angry mob!
Hyde: Hmm...I think we can do that.
Tetsu: Sounds good to me.
Yuki: I’ll get the burning stakes.
Sarah: Alright. I’ll get the uh...the bait!
Hyde: What’s the bait?
Sarah: umm...
Tetsu: Hmm...well, she likes...
Yuki: She likes...
Sarah: She likes...
Ken: Quit beating around the bush. She likes him! *grabs Hyde*
Hyde: NO NO NO I WON’T GO!
Tetsu: Hyde, do you want to avenge the death of your friends or not?!
Hyde: But you’re alive!!
Sarah: Not after this he isn’t. Now go stand in the yard.
Wow. Things sure went crazy towards the end here, now didn’t they...Hmm, what might happen in the next episode? Does it only get crazier from here?! And what the durg happened to Sakura? Did jo forget about yet *another* character, or is there some surprising and clever plot twist involving said drug dealer... *evil laughter*