After a seemingly endless island adventure ends, the 8th grade retards...well, actually there’s only one 8th grade retard, but anyway...everyone is gathered round the basement/headquarters during a driving rainstorm...playing poker.
Sakura: The name of the game is...
jo: Texas Hold ‘Em!
Sakura: You heard the lady.
Tetsu: Hey Sarah, got any 3s...?
Sarah: Texas Hold ‘Em, Tetsu...
Tetsu: ...go fish?
Sarah: Nooo....Texas Hold ‘Em!
Yuki: What are we holding?
Ken: Our peters.
Gackt: What?
Ken: Nothing.
Gackt: I’m onto you, Ken... *glare*
Ken: ...what?!
Gackt: *coughGorillaMancough*
Sakura: Hey, don’t fight, kiddies!
jo: HYDE!
Ken: Ahh...must you screech like that?!
jo: Sorry...I think Hyde’s a little hard of hearing, though... *whisper* he’s getting old, you know? And anyway, he went upstairs like 20 minutes ago...
Gackt: He might’ve got lost...
Ken: Right...
Gackt: Let’s just play...
Tetsu: ...go fish?
5 minutes later...
jo: hehehehh...suckers! *pulls all the chips towards her*
Ken: That’s it, I need a break. *lights up a cigarette*
Yuki: Do you guys hear that...?
Sarah: They call it thunder ‘round these parts.
Yuki: Not that...
jo: Like Tetsu always says: when you hear voices, don’t tell anyone about it...
Yuki: They’re not voices!
Sakura: I think they make medicine for that.
Yuki: It’s not voices or thunder...
Ken: Will you quit being so mysterious, Yukihiro...
jo: Yeah, what’s your malfunction?
Yuki: I...
Everyone: *leans in closer*
Yuki: I...I see American people...
Sarah: Ahahahahah. That is so funny. Yukihiro, you are a regular riot.
Yuki: I’m serious!
jo: Oh yeah? I don’t see any American people!
Sakura: *holds up a mirror*
jo: OH DEAR LORD!
Gackt: I think I should go get Hyde.
jo: I think I should go with you!
Gackt: I think not.
jo: *cries*
Sarah: Heheheh...
Gackt: I’ll be back.
Ken: Hey, bring me a beer!
Gackt: *glare*
Sarah: Hahah!
Tetsu: ...go fish?
Sarah: ...
10 minutes later...
Sakura: How the mighty have fallen...look who’s rakin’ in the cash now!
jo: I’ll make my comeback...
Sarah: No you won’t! I always win poker!
Tetsu: GO FISH! *throws cards at Sarah*
Sarah: ...
jo: Ken...get the tranquilizer...
Ken: I’ll calm him down...*lights a blunt*
Sarah: NO! *smacks it out of his hands, it flies into a pile of garbage bags and they light up like a gasfire*
Yuki: This reminds me of when I used to be...an outdoorsman.
jo: A who?
Sakura: I thought you were just a hobo...
Yuki: Hey, watch it! If I remember correctly *I* took *your* place little mister!
Sakura: ...*sticks his tongue out at him when he turns around*
Everyone gathers around the bonfire.
jo: This is more fun than playing cards!
Tetsu: GO FISH! *grabs Sarah by the hair and tries to slam her head off the ground*
Sarah: AH! JESUS CHRIST!
Ken: Well...in all my day...
Sakura: Let’s ignore it.
jo: Entertainment!
Yuki: Dinner and a show! Minus the dinner.
jo: Yeah, where is Gackt anyway?
Yuki: ...Dinner...Gackt...I don’t see the connection...
jo: Yeah, you wouldn’t... Well, I think I’ll go join the fun - I mean, find Gackt...and that other guy.
Sarah: GASP!
jo: What? Just kidding...
Tetsu: GO FISH! *frothing at the mouth*
jo: Alright that’s my cue. *leaves*
15 minutes later...
Tetsu: Me cave man! You cave woman!
Sarah: No, me Sarah! You–OW! Will someone get him?!
Ken: *watching*
Sakura: Sorry, it’s just so entertaining.
Yuki: What can I do? I’m just a lonely monkey...
Sarah: Tetsu! SIT!
Tetsu: *cries*
Sarah: No, don’t cry!
Tetsu: *knocks her backwards*
Sarah: Alright, cry.
Yuki: *smacks Tetsu with a garbage bag full of clothes* The beast is slain!
Tetsu: Go...fish... *dies*
Sarah: Sigh. Thanks Yukihiro, I owe ya.
Yuki: Just doin’ my job, ma’am.
Sarah: Riiiight...
Yuki: So, who wants to tell ghost stories!
Yukihiro starts telling a story and by the end everyone seems to be falling asleep...
Yuki: And then...*holding a flashlight up to his face as if he wasn’t scary enough already* And then... it was KEN!
Everyone: *blink*
Yuki: ...IN THE SHOWER!!
Sarah: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Ken: What?! I thought you said this was a true story...?!
Yuki: It is...
Sarah: Yukihiro, I’m scarred for life.
Yuki: Then my work here is done.
Sakura: Are you kidding? That was pathetic! You couldn’t scare a baby bunny with that story!
Tetsu: Bunnies?! *sits up*
Yuki: *knocks him out again*
Sarah: Yay.
Sakura: Well, maybe I should go tell those retards to get the frig back down here...
Sarah: No, I’ll do it. You’ll just scare them away.
Sakura: Ok, I - hey...
Sarah: Be back soon! *runs upstairs*
Yuki: That’s what she thinks...
Ken: What?
Yuki: I said, that’s what she thinks!
Ken: Um...I’m lost.
Sakura: Me too.
Ken: Is this one of those... “outdoorsman” things...?
Yuki: sigh...don’t you get it? Can’t you see what’s happening?
Ken: Um..no. Why don’t you fill us in, Mr...*muffled laughter* “outdoorsman”...
Sakura: heheheh...
Yuki: Why doesn’t anyone take me seriously!
Tetsu: GO FISH!
Yuki: *stare* Anyways...on with the horror-esque dialogue...
Sakura: Right, please continue.
Yuki: Alright, it’s really very simple: they’re disappearing one by one...
Ken: ...who?
Yuki: Everyone! Hyde was first, then Gackt went to get him, and when he didn’t come back, jo went up...then Sarah just left...She’ll never come back.
Ken: Yukihiro...I know this is hard for you, but...get a hold of yourself!
Yuki: *grabs his thing* Now what?
Sakura: I’m surrounded by idiots...
Ken: They just went upstairs! It’s only upstairs! They’ll be back!
Yuki: Oh no they won’t...that’s what they want you to think...
Sakura: Ok, how about I go upstairs, and bring everybody back down with me. Will that cure your insanity?
Yuki: NOTHING WILL CURE MY INSANITY!
Ken: Let’s go.
Sakura: Right.
Yuki: You mean..you’re gonna leave me down here with...*gulp* ...him? *looks at Tetsu*
Ken: We’ll be back.
Yuki: No you won’t! *grabs their legs*
Sakura: Yuki, it’s wonderful that you have such an...active imagination, but you must realize that...
Ken: You’re 34.
Yuki: LIES! ALL LIES!
Ken: *frees from his grasp and runs upstairs, followed by Sakura*
Yuki: It was nice knowing you guys...*turns around and stares at the unconscious Tetsu* Sigh...
20 long minutes later...
Yuki: I told them not to go...I told them to stay down here...Now me and Tetsu are the only ones left...and that really sucks! He’s crazed!
Tetsu: *waking up*
Yuki: Uh oh...I knew I shouldn’t have been talking to myself...*backs against a wall*
Tetsu: Yukihiro? Is that you? *squint squint*
Yuki: You’re...normal?
Tetsu: No.
Yuki: Gulp.
Tetsu: Of course I’m not normal, what do you think?
Yuki: I mean...you’re not going on about...go fish...right?
Tetsu: Are you out of your gourd, Yuki?
Yuki: A little.
Tetsu: Where is everyone...?
Yuki: We’ll never see them again...
Tetsu: Lemme guess, they keep going upstairs, one by one, and they never come back?
Yuki: How’d you know...?
Tetsu: Tetsu always knows. *flips hair*
Yuki: O..k...um, well, what should we do then?
Tetsu: Go upstairs, of course!
Yuki: Are you sure?!
Tetsu: Duh! *grabs Yukihiro and runs up the stairs. They get to the top of the stairs and where the door should be there’s a portal*
Yuki: Do we go in?
Tetsu: Well, since everyone else is probably in there, we might as well..
Yuki: True. Let’s do it.
They step in and find themselves...on a deserted island.
Tetsu: ...
Yuki: ....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Suddenly, Yukihiro...wakes up! Ooooh, what an unexpected twist...
Yuki: Well, that was a quierd dream. Oh boy, 3 am! Time for pocky!
The end, and it wasn’t very funny but that’s because jo is hardly bored right now. Oh well...there were a couple laughable moments. I guess. But anyways...be sure and tune in for the next episode...blah blah blah...