One friggity frig day Tetsu was walking down the street. Of course. These stupid things always start out like this...
Ok, he was *roller skating* down the street. Roller skating isn’t walking. So, anyway, he wa - *roller skated*, until he came to a broken down old house. He’s really quite slow, ya know, cute but dumb...so he went inside. He tripped as he tried to walk up the stairs in skates. The same way he’s hit his head many times before...
Well, getting back to business, when he got inside, he heard a TV, so he followed the noise. He soon found Ken sitting in front of a broken down old television set. Smoking crack.
Tetsu: Ken! You lied to me!
Ken: ...
Tetsu: And all this time I thought you were at the grocery store getting tampons!
Ken: Muahahahahaaaa....Tetsu, do you even know what tampons are?
Tetsu: Well...no, but I do know that you’re supposed to be at the store. Now. Getting them.
Ken: Well, let’s just say that I...lied.
Tetsu: Yeah, I already said that.
Ken: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. *stupid grin*
Tetsu: Gr....
Ken: Awww, what’s the matter Tet-chan? Are you getting angwy???
Tetsu: ...Ya think you’re cool doncha? Ya smoke crack, doncha?! *point point*
Ken: Crack? I smoke a lot of things, buddy, but crack isn’t one of ‘em.
Tetsu: Oh yeah?! Well...well...I’m telling HYDE!
Ken: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo................
Tetsu: *tries to skate away and trips on a loose floorboard, slamming his face on the wood* My face! My beautiful face!
Ken: *explodes with laughter*
Tetsu: You’re just mad because...because I’m the cute one! *takes off skates and gets up and runs away*
Ken: Geez...what’s with him?
Meanwhile, back at Laruku HQ - which happens to be none other than jo and Sarah’s huge basement, supped up to look like a really fancy and cool mansion...
Hyde: Got any 4s...?
Yuki: Hmm...go fish.
Hyde: *is about to go fish when Tetsu bursts through the door. And his face is really dusty*
Tetsu: Ken smokes crack you guys!
Yuki: Uh-huh. I’ll make a note of it.
Hyde: *staring at the table, where the cards were...until he accidentally
knocked them on the floor* I....I...the...
Yuki: Hyde... You gonna live?
Hyde: I MADE A MESS! I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY!!! I’LL CLEAN IT UP! DON’T HELP ME! *dives to the floor*
Tetsu: I’m serious, you guys! *closes the door and goes over to Yukihiro* I saw him doing it!
Yuki: Yeah, well, it’s been pretty obvious...
Tetsu: You mean...
Yuki: Yeah. It’s pretty much...old news.
Tetsu: But - he - I mean–
Yuki: He was hanging around Sakura a lot after he broke out of jail, right? Well what does that tell you? *strange eyebrow movements*
Tetsu: But...Hyde and Sakura were inseparable, and Hyde doesn’t do drugs. There’s virtually nothing wrong with him...
Yuki: Oh, don’t worry, Hyde got something else out of it...
Hyde: *frantically grabbing the cards off the floor, panting like crazy. Gets them all, then hits his head on the table when he tries to get up, falls to the floor, the cards spilling all over...again*
Tetsu: I guess you’re right...
Yuki: Yukihiro is always right.*tries to look cool*
Tetsu: *looks scared* Please stop.
Yuki: Oh. Sorry.
Hyde: I did it! *comes out from under the table with the cards and sets them down.* Now, to get normal. *pulls out a cigarette, lights it up and takes a puff. Looks cool and hott.*
Tetsu: Yeah, it’s true. You’re pretty messed up, Hyde.
Hyde: I’m...what?! *bursts into tears*
T+Y: *spontaneously combust due to cuteness overload*
Then, all of a sudden, a radio appeared and Yukihiro turned it on. Not surprisingly, the news guy was talking about crime in the neighborhood.
News guy: A bank was ro–
H+T+Y: Sakura.
Hyde: *sigh* I told him to come hang out with us today... I told him “You stay out of trouble,” that’s what I told him...but did he listen? Of course not! I try to be a good parent! I try to–
T+Y: *stare*
Hyde: What?
Tetsu: It just gets scarier by the minute...*whisper* Yukihiro, do something!
Yuki: Listen, if it *was* Sakura, then we have to go bail him out, right?
Hyde: I guess we will. Just this once. Next time he better listen to me and...blah blah blah blah blah blah....
Tetsu. Um, right.... Now–
Yuki: To the Yukihiro-mobile! AWAY!
Hyde: Woah there, buddy, I’m pretty sure it’s called the Hyde-mobile.
Yuki: You’re wrong, my friend... *Yukihiro-mobile*. C’mon, say it with me now–
Tetsu: You guys are both crazy. It’s the Tetsu...thing...y. Yeah.
Yuki: ...
Hyde: *sigh* Let’s just take the bus.
Tetsu: But old ladies will stare at me!
Yuki: Yeah, well, maybe if you’d *mumble mumble* then it wouldn’t be a problem...
Hyde: Quit fighting! Don’t make me turn this..er...basement...around!
Tetsu: Okay, now that Hyde’s insanity is official, let’s go.
*everyone stands around blinking*
Tetsu: Um...you guys? What are...tampons?
H+Y: *fall over in a pokemon-esque manner*
Will they ever realize that Ken has a drug problem? What exactly *is* wrong with Hyde? Will poor Tetsu ever figure out what tampons are? And what about Sakura - is it really him in jail?! Find out - on the next episode of Backstage Pass! WOOHOO I’M IN IT!!!!! ...oh, woops... Sorry. Get a little over-excited sometimes, you know how it is.