Hurt
                              

        How could you do nothing when u see me fall .
          how could you love me but i feel like youve left me
          why do you let me feel despair and hopelessness
          why do you let me crumble everytime i stand ,
          why do you make me so weak
          why am i so numb to the pain now ? why is this normal
          this isnt how it should be i dont need to feel this way
          i know you love me but i feel so alone
          another bad day gone by im wasting this life , these bestdays
          of my life and you let me be sad , depressed , hurt and
          confused.
          Is it even your fault am i wrong or am i right
          why cant you talk to me , tell me why ?let your
          deepest secrets be known to me
          why do i have to go to the enemy for answers .
          do you leave me because i brought this on myself? i just want to feel
          your love again , some one to talk to . i know you wont ever be too busy
          i know you wont ever turn away . i know all it takes is one step for
          me to see your face . but i cant lift my face to you now
          you know how i feel , this is me crying out to you , please answer me
          tonight . i cant feel this way forever , but ive fallen so far . can i ever
          come back up again.
          The crown i wear is old and tarnished , a dull gold
          nothing one of your children wears .. but iv'e thrown it in the dirt so many
          times . So many times i dont want to know you . ill swallow my pride ,
          say im sorry ..... but how long till i change , can i change ?
this weight bearing down on me ,
so much i cant see
the light at the end , no more
i come back to a house not a home
if home is where the heart is
i have no home
lies lies lies
i cant beleive anyone
cant trust you
fuck you
my life is nothing to you
you tell me not to have one
you say die . kill yourself
you know nothing of reality
death is closer than my next breath
god questioned
its all coming down around you
ill never beleive
youll never see me in the real light
expressionless face
no name face
im going insane
inane ,mundane.
life
,flows by
im dying inside
im dying inside
im nothing
im nothing
im fucked and im coughing
i drink to pain and wake up in pain
i close my eyes filled with tears but it doesnt go away
your screams down the hall
are so loud
you dont hear my screaming
my soul black as pitch
black as the vile
i bleed in a ditch
and you dont see
you dont feel .
bleeding is living
blood spilled is the key
but i dont know just how long i have left
all this hurt and hopelessness ive kept
inside stuffed down
i wont come ballin out

  help me hurt me save me leave me
Home
A perfect mould that ill never fit into
maybe thats why you never look at me
well sorry im different to what your used to
well fuck you , im me dont try to change me
A perfect image of beauty but look again ansd tell me are u beautiful insider
you wear superficiallity like a suit or armour
when will you realise theres nothing left in those shallow waters.
i see you every morning
you light up th darkest shade of grey
but im starting to wonder if it will always be this way
You make me feel so loved inside
When your arms wrap round me
you kiss my forhead , your smell surrounds me
And at night when its cold and all i can hear is screaming i think of how ill see you in the morning
And a
smile changes my shadow in the dark
But do i fill your world to ? i love you but love is mutual or dead. i suppose ill know when you say its over but until then ill love your hugs and you kisses even more

You dont know it now everything i felt, weight lifted
im becoming myself ,veil of  apathy and depressed comes off
Now that he's gone
its just you and me  and my faiths creeping back knife in the draw instead of in my hand
The waste felt in me something he didnt see  But now he's gone
Im Free
The silence is usually to much to bear but this time its golden
The wine is much sweeter My face glows much brighter
Im where the grass is much greener
The music doesnt have the drowning sound i used to hear
Im free

i keep falling falling back into you
i keep falling back into you
taken by the feeling ripped apart by the hurt
you push me down to be first
left wasted with this after taste
remorse and regret fills my head
i feel nothing but waste bleeding is believeing
but i believe its just a lie
pushed into conformity
your just one in a crowd
dont be scared to look inside
.............and find nothing there
   wasted for you
     im watching
      im waiting

everything is a blur ive torn myself apart for you again
if only you could see these scars, the pain that keeps me sane
all these feelings for hate in me all these things wished to be
to know you , to know me
love is pain love is lust
love keeps no record of wrongs but you have a list in your room
pull me out of this  i just cant take it
suffer in silence im dying
pushing me up , dragging me downits all the same to you but you hear no sound
i guess i dont car anymore my eyes turn from blue to grey i fall and pray


                          
   fall on my knees
                               fall on my face
                               ill find my place

Now your gone
smile in the dark
untitled
despair, run over
fall
perfect
hurt
the constant whirrings of my mind ...
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