Die Hand Die Verletzt

Author: Erika

Email: [email protected]

Fandom: Smallville

Disc: Smallville belongs to WB, Superman and all its characters belong to DC Comics, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster.

Rating: PG.

Beta: Pollyanna and Jose.

Summary: AU. Dark Future Fic.

Note: The sequel to “Two Fathers.”

http://www.geocities.com/carlajanep/Erika/EEpart00.html

~oo00oo~

Liar.

Liar. Liar. Pants on Fire.

The children's rhyme Clark learned years ago echoed in his mind. Clark burrowed deeper into Lex, his arms coming around the older man, while he rested his face along Lex's shoulder. Clark breathed in Lex's scent; their scent mingled and meshed together, a combination of sweet and cum.

Clark didn't know if he could do this or if he should. Breaking up with Lex had never been an option but as Clark shifted in the bed and stared at the ceiling, he realized sometimes one was not given options.

Lex would understand, later, that what Clark was doing was right. Necessary. Forgivable.

A part of Clark wondered if Lex had somehow guessed that something was about to happen, that this would be their last night together. Perhaps the desperation Clark had sensed earlier in Lex had been a way for him to convince Clark to stay. The only ones who knew of his decision to break up with Lex were his parents, who agreed that Clark needed to momentarily break ties with those whom he loved and go out and explore the world. Discover more about himself, his powers and abilities. His alien heritage.

But before Clark was ready to leave Lex, he just needed one more night, tasting Lex's skin, feeling Lex's next to him, claiming Lex.

Clark gently trailed kisses along Lex's throat, his hand moved to caress Lex's back; his body promising so much even while it lied.

Clark lied with his hands, his mouth, with every touch. Every whisper, endearment was soon to be a broken promise. Just one more touch, taste, before this ends Clark thought as he swallowed Lex's scream, as their bodies moved as one.

~oo00oo~

Nearly three years had passed since Clark had left Smallville, Metropolis, and Lex. Three years that at times had seemed to him like three lifetimes.

His parents had grown old during that time and his friends who had been university bound were almost near graduation.

Clark flew over to the Museum of Arts in Metropolis, his eyes scanning for the occupants inside, in particular for one man.

Lex was standing in an open courtyard, holding a glass of wine, looking slightly bored. Lex frowned and looked into the distance. He then straightened as though he sensed that he was being observed. Lex glanced about and when their eyes met, he stilled.

Lex lifted his wine glass and then tilted his head to the side. His eyes were cold, giving nothing away as Clark descended to the ground a few feet in front of him.

"Smallville," Lex spoke, "it's been a long time."

"Lex." Clark didn't want his life to be filled with regrets because of the one action that had cost him everything, he was here to amend, to get back into Lex's good graces.

~oo00oo~

From a distance Clark watched as Lex thrust hard into another faceless debutante. Clark clenched his fists in anger. He couldn't seem to turn away from the scene.

That night, at the museum, Lex had refused to listen to Clark's reasons: instead, Lex had gone back inside the building, leaving Clark behind and had returned to his date.

Ever since that encounter, Lex fucked someone new each night. Man. Woman. It did not matter to Lex. Not in the way it mattered to Clark

Lex arched into that welcoming heat, his mouth pressed along her throat, his hand coming to clasp her hand, staring intently at her, catching her cries with his kiss and in the end shivering, shaking, their disentangled bodies moving and Lex finally coming to rest next to her, his arms wrapped around her, lying there whispering her name, "Lois."

~oo00oo~

The year 2010.

Clark could not believe Lex had moved into the Mansion. Had moved back to Smallville. It seemed Lex no longer craved the spotlight of Metropolis but instead sought the tranquility offered by the small town to raise his family, safe and sound.

His parents had called him with the news, hoping to prepare him, hoping that time had allowed Clark to forget Lex but they were wrong.

Clark stood above the crib, watching as Lex's son, Julian, raised his small arms. The baby gurgle with delight, his small black curls surrounded his pale face, and light blue eyes watched Clark intently.

Somehow along the way, the child had lost one of his white mittens his nanny must have made him wear to stop him from scratching his face. The infant's fingers open and closed seeking contact, something to hold.

Clark lowered his hand into the crib and watched as Julian closed his small hand around Clark's index finger. A small leg came up as the child cried in delight. Julian tugged at Clark's hand, shoving Clark's finger into his mouth, sucking at it, then letting it go, moving his hands and legs up and down, silently conveying, "Pick me up!"

Clark wiped his hand dry along his cape, watching the child. Minutes passed and the baby yawned, turning his head to the side, no longer interested in Clark.

It would be so easy, Clark thought as he picked the child up, adjusting the squirming infant in his arms. It happened all the time. Babies died in their sleep. It had even happened to Julian's namesake. A tragedy for sure but Lex would move on, for Clark was certain that this was the one thing that tied Lex to his wife. This child. Tied Lex in ways that Clark could not, even though he had tried to cut those ties.

Clark lifted the child closer to him. As Clark bent his head, his lips opened to encompass the infant's nose and mouth. Small fingers grazed his face and Clark inhaled, listening intently to the child's heartbeat, remembering back to another time, another place when instead of taking a life, he had given life to the child's father. Ashamed, in shock, Clark almost dropped the infant who was still breathing.

He looked down at the innocent face. Lex's son. He had almost killed Lex's son.

Clark put the baby back into his crib, sickened at his actions. Lex would again be his, of that Clark was certain but not like this. Not like this.

Hearing voices down the corridor, Clark flew out of the mansion back to Metropolis. Back to the safe cover of being Clark Kent, mild reporter, gracious son, all-around American boy.

~oo00oo~

Ten months later.

"Superman!" the public screamed, "Save me!"

But who would save Clark?

He was tired of playing the saviour, the guardian to people unwilling to save themselves. Why sign a peace treaty? Superman would protect us. Greenhouse gases, no need to worry, Superman will fix that.

Superman! Superman! The masses cried and a little bit of the humanity in Clark died each time.

He kept thinking back to the night, months ago, in Julian's room, still horrified at what he had almost done, how close he had come to crossing the line. Every now and again, Clark would drop by the mansion unobserved and watch as Lex picked up his son, tossed him in the air, catching him in his arms. The last time he had been there, the child had began to walk and Clark had witness its first steps, as it had woggled toward Lex, falling to the ground in-between steps, picking himself up and again heading for its father.

The love in Lex's eyes. The pride.

In the distance, someone screamed for help. Clark turned toward the cry. An avalanche in Switzerland, a gas explosion in Maryland, train derailment in France, an oil ship sinking in the Bearing Strait endangering the wildlife, and Clark flew.

~oo00oo~

His parents lay dead. Car accident. Hit by a drunk driver. There was nothing he could have done, the Sheriff informed him. They had died on impact but Clark knew that was a lie. His father had died immediately after the crash but his mother had lingered, calling on her son to save her but he had been too busy in another continent, far away.

And now he was alone.

No parents.

No Lex.

Nothing.

~oo00oo~

The year 2012. Smallville. Luthor Mansion.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Lex demanded, when Clark suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Shouldn't I be asking you, Luthor?"

"Fuck you," Lex answered as Clark closed the distance between them.

Clark licked his lips and for a moment he expected Lex to back away but instead Lex stood his ground. No more games. They were too old for games.

Clark's hand reached out to cup Lex's chin, while the other smoothed the contour of the other man's face, feeling his slight shiver. A thumb pressed upon closed lips, seeking entrance. Feeling the flicker of a tongue upon his fingers Clark found himself moaning, pushing Lex to the ground.

"Clark," Lex gasped aloud when his lips were finally released. "We can't. We can't," he repeated.

Clark ignored him until finally Lex hands reached out for his, Lex's body arched, welcoming the heat. Then Lex panted, bucked, and pushed against Clark.

Released, Lex quickly stood up tidying his clothes all the while observing Clark, warily.

And Clark could not stop wanting to feel his body next to Lex. He reached out again ignoring the desperate voice, the pleading voice begging Clark to stop. Clark ignored everything but his own need.

They were soon interrupted by the sound of small footsteps approaching, the door opening and a child's voice asking, "Daddy?"

Clark had found himself almost growling at the child. Not now. "Get," he warned.

Lex pushed Clark aside, smiled at his son, reassuringly, and picked up the two-year old toddler.

"Pj's," the child said as he tugged at his clothes.

"How did you get downstairs?" Lex asked his son, who turned and pointed to the open door, to his mother, Lois, standing there, watching them.

"Get them out of here, Lex." Clark warned, as Lois approached her family. Clark stared at the now picturesque scene in front of him: protective husband, loving wife, and their beautiful child.

"Lex?" Lois asked ignoring Clark, concentrating instead on her husband.

Lex touched her face tenderly and smiled. "It is all right. I need you to take Julian upstairs," Lex paused. "Wait for me there."

"But ..." Lois glanced quickly at Superman, Clark, and then back to Lex.

"Lois, please. I'll explain everything later." A quick kiss exchanged between husband and wife, a few murmured words to his child and Lex watched, as they walked away from him to the staircase.

Moments passed before Lex turned back toward Clark.

"What is this really about, Clark?"

"My parents are dead."

"I know."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"No. Clark, I'm sorry they are gone but this does not change things," Lex explained gently.

"It could if you let it." Clark insisted.

"I have a family, Clark. And Lois does not share."

"Neither do I." Lex backed away from him, shocked.

"Repeat that again," Lex asked swallowing hard.

"You heard me, Lex. Neither. Do. I."

"I see." Mouth set on a hard line. Lex's eyes now cold.

"If I remember correctly years ago you chose your parents over me. In fact you chose this," Lex indicated to Clark's Superman outfit, "over me and now that I have rebuilt my life you want me back." There was anger in those words.

"I didn't ..." Clark began.

"...think," Lex finished for him. "You probably thought I'd end up a bitter man, waiting, waiting for his love to come back to him, to rescue him from his madness. Well, Clark, it seems I have exceeded your expectations."

"Lex." Clark reached out.

"No."

"Please," Clark whispered but there were too many lies, half-truths, too much hurt between them.

Lex just ignored Clark and stared blankly into space. He then walked out of the room and headed toward his office. Clark followed.

Inside the office Lex opened the safe hidden behind a painting. He took out a small metal box.

"You remember this, Clark?" Lex asked politely as though they were discussing the weather. He opened the box and the object inside glowed.

Clark backed away. His eyes turned cold. He would not be denied.

~oo00oo~

Clark had not thought ... he had just assumed things would turn out differently. Staring at Lex's lifeless corpse, Clark stepped back. There was blood on his hands. Lex's blood. Oh, god.

Lex.

Smiling. Flirting. Laughing. Clark remembered the touch of Lex's lips, the feel of his hands, the softness of his skin. Human and so fragile. Remembered Lex at twenty-one to Clark's fifteen. His first love. Real love. All others before or since had paled in comparison.

Clark bent down and wrapped his cape around Lex's cold body. At first he had wanted to head to his parents' home, the farm, where they had been buried after the car accident that took their lives, but that was no place for a Luthor. For Lex, who had never gotten along with Clark's father, Jonathan.

And while a part of Clark revolted at the idea of burying Lex anywhere near the mansion, the satanic cathedral that had seemed to feed the darkness inside his one time friend and lover, Clark remembered that two years ago the Luthor burial plot had been moved from Metropolis to Smallville. It somehow seemed fitting for Lex to finally come to rest next to the one person who had loved him unconditionally, his mother Lillian.

Clark pushed the soil aside, the black soil clinging to his hands and laid Lex's body next to his mother.

"Forgive me," Clark whispered, trying to forget the blue-gray eyes that had stared at him accusingly, then widened in shock and glazed over, lifeless.

~oo00oo~

The year 2022. S.T.A.R.Labs.

Ten years had passed since Lex's death and Clark still carried the guilt within him. Each night his conscience cried out, "Your fault!  Your fault Lex died!"

Clark had been angry that day, wanting to lash out at the world. His parents lay dead and nobody seemed to care that the one thing tying Clark to his humanity was gone. Clark was alone. All alone and Cassandra's prophecy was fulfilled.

In the lab, Clark looked over at the monitor, showcasing the news conference given by Lionel Luthor on the grand opening of a new manufacturing plant in California. Next to him stood his heir, Lex's son, Julian.

The child was now twelve. He had his mother's hair and his father's eyes and he wore a small necklace around his neck. A necklace that had once belonged to Lana. A piece of the meteorite that had killed her parents. And now Lex's son wore it for protection.

Clark was not surprised that there was no sign of Julian's mother, Lois. Official word was that she had never recovered from Lex's death but in the end, Clark suspected, she had been no match for Lionel. 

When Julian was born Lionel had tried to bring Lex back into the fold, wanting access to his grandchild. The perfect heir, but Lex had not been so eager to play into his father's hand or so willing to be his tool. Fatherhood had changed him. Marriage had changed him.

The child looked up at the cameras. Blank stare. This too was Clark's fault.

He should have let things be, should have let Lex go on with his life but a part of Clark had resented the fact he had been replaced, forgotten by Lex for the Lane woman.

Years of seeing Lex in the society pages smiling at his wife had only increased Clark's anger and then Lex's son had been born. More pictures of the perfect American family. Happy. Successful. World at their feet, while Clark laboured catching criminals, dirtying his soul, dying a little each day, bearing witness to the inhumanity in man.

His star dimmed, while Lex's glowed bright and his anger grew until one day Clark was provided with the opportunity to question Lex, to venture into the mansion. Back to where it all began.

"Superman?" called Doctor Kitty Faulkner bringing Clark back to the present.

"Is everything ready, doctor?" She nodded and directed Clark toward the chamber. It had taken ten years, but S.T.A.R.Labs using Kryptonian technology had finally been able to build the time travel device. The machine would allow Clark to travel to the past, to undo the things he had done. To save Lex. To relive his life.

Ten years of waiting, hoping, and praying for this one moment.

Clark walked up the machine and brought his hand up. It was scanned. "Welcome, Kal-El." The computer voice said as the doors opened and Clark stepped inside the chamber. Only a scan of his palm prints would trigger the device to turn itself on, any other attempts to enter would just lead to its destruction.

Finally, finally, he could fix things. Change things back to the way they ought to be. Used to be.

That day, ten years ago, in Lex's office, Clark had pushed Lex aside and unknowingly caused his death. He had used too much force and Lex had been thrown against the wall so hard that the family painting hanging above had fallen, the glass shattering. Clark had lifted the portrait away from the crumpled body only to discover that a small piece of glass had embedded itself in Lex's throat. Even as he tried to staunch the bleeding Lex's blood pressure had dropped and he had bled to death.

"I'm ready," Clark called out.

Lights blinked all around him and then there was silence.

~oo00oo~

The year 2001. Smallville.

Fifteen-year old Clark is standing on the bridge, looking over the railing, down at the water. He hears the sound of tires screeching. Clark turns and is hit by the fast approaching car. Both boy and car go over the metal railings and into the river.

Once in the water, the roof of the car is torn open and Clark reaches out for the occupant trapped inside.

Now safe on the riverbank, Clark performs CPR. "Come on! Don't die on me!"

Coughing slightly, weakly, blue-gray eyes open. They stare up at Clark. "I could have sworn I hit you."

And Clark breathes.

God.

It worked.

Clark smiles down at Lex, knowing that this time everything is going to be all right.

It just has to be.

~oo00oo~

Author's Notes:

Livia issued a challenge to write a Smallville story based on a title of an X-File episode. I picked the title Die Hand Die Verletzt, German for "The Hand that Wounds" -- a phrase uttered during the "prayer" in the teaser.

Other stories based on the challenge can be found here:

THE SMALLVILLE X-TITLE CHALLENGE

http://www.debchan.com/livia/smallville/xtitle.html

~oo00oo~

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