deardiary05

    Madison woke up in the middle of the night crying. She wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand and walked across the hall to Mark's room. She always went there when she had nightmares. Madison quickly crawled underneath the bedspread and bumped into another body. A large groan suddenly came from the bed. Madison jumped out of the bed in fear.
     "Maddy, it's me." Hayden mumbled sitting up and leaning against the wall. She sat back in the bed and cuddled up next to her brother.
     "Hayden...I miss him." Madison said meekly letting a few tears escape her eyes. He pulled her into his chest and hugged her.
     "I know...we all do."
     "Why did he have to be so stupid. Damn it, he never did anything like that before. He got a little scared and went and did something dumb." Madison cried.
     "Things like that don't happen very often. Not very many people die from taking that stuff. He just got unlucky." Hayden hushed her in almost a whisper.
     "We all got unlucky."

                ***                        ***                      ***

***September 30, 2000:
    Tonight Jared took me to the drive-in in his truck where we met up with a bunch of his friends. I think we saw a Heath Ledger movie but I'm not sure. Jared and I spent most of the time with each other. I like him so much! It takes my mind away from everything back at home when I am with him. Later...

***October 6, 2000:
    I went out with a bunch of friends tonight and went to a party. It was really fun. The house we were at was huge and had a giant hot tub and big screen tv. These people I am hanging out with are really awesome. They are soo nice and a lot of fun. When Jared dropped me off here he told me he loved me. It's been a while since I have heard that from anyone! I am going somewhere again with him tomorrow too.

***October 7, 2000:
    Jared to me to a really nice italian restaurant and then we stopped by another party. His friends really know how to have fun. We stayed there until almost three in the morning. I had sex with him. It was really akward being the first time for me, but I don't regret it. It was enjoyable though. If my brothers found out they would probably kill him so I am not telling anyone. Until Later...

***October 13th, 2000:
    I went out with Jared twice this week and we made love again. But now he seems to be acting distant. I don't know what I did but he hasn't called me in three days. Today is Friday and he didn't even ask me to go anywhere with him. I am starting to think that I had him right before, that he was only using me. But I think he taught me a little something too. He taught me that I am wanted and that going to parties and doing things like that aren't 'bad,' they help keep my mind off all the shit that goes on here at home, or should I say what doesn't go on here at home. I haven't seen my mom in 5 days, and before that I saw her in the middle of the night walking out of the bathroom crying. Dad moved out. He said things just weren't working out, whatever that means. He said that he would probably be back, that he and mom just needed some time to get their minds back to reality. But if he doesn't want us then we don't need him. I haven't seen him in about four days. I can't wait till the next party. I need to get out of this house.