deardiary04

***September 25, 2000:
    Today was my first day back at school. I thought going to school would get my mind off Mark, but it made me remember him more. My fellow students insisted on filling me in on the rumours of how my own brother died and wanted me to explain what really happened. If that wasn't bad enough, all of my teachers explained to my classmates not to bother me because of my fragile situation. But my brothers have become extremely bonded to each other through all of this. My parents however seem to be gone all the time. They leave early in the morning and usually don't get home until nine or ten at night when they go to bed without saying a word. I don't even hear them talking to each other. This family used to be fairly close. Family dinners, talking, now: nothing. It seems like I am all alone. Even my friends are really distant. I don't know if they are afraid of saying something that will upset me, but they hardly acknowledged me at all today. I pray that tomorrow will be better.

***September 26, 2000:
    Today my friends still ignored me, but everyone else seemed to consider my brother's death old news, which in my book was a good thing. Jared brought me home today. I know how I talked about him before but he talks to me, he doesn't treat me differently. And he is really sweet. I think he really does care about me. It feels nice to be cared about by someone. It's 8:30 pm and my brothers went to a movie so I am home alone. I think I am just gonna crash early.Later.

***September 27, 2000:
    After school Jared took me out for ice cream with some of his friends. It was a lot of fun. They were all really cool people. When Jared brought me home he kissed me. I really like him, and I'm glad I gave him a chance. Things are starting to look up again. If my old friends don't want me around anymore it doesn't matter, I have new friends!

***September 28, 2000:
    Jared took me with him to his friend, Kerri's house after school today. We all just had a good time playing pool and watching tv. There was a little alcohol involved but it made everyone funny. Jared kissed me again and told me I was beautiful. Him and his friends are so much fun to be around. I can't wait until we all do something together again.

***September 29, 2000:
    School was the usual, when I got home Hayden was already asleep and Jake and Wayde were out somewhere together so I changed into some cute clothes in time for Jared to come pick me up. We went over to his friend, Heather's house for a big party. When I got there I told myself I wasn't going to drink anything but Jared talked me into a peach wine cooler. After that I helped myself to two more. We were all just listening to music and laughing when Jared took me upstairs. We made out on a bed for a while but I stopped him when he tried to remove my shirt. He said it was ok and took me home. He is a really understanding guy. He asked me out again for tomorrow night. I can't wait!