deardiary03

    Madison awoke the next morning and headed off to school as usual. The day went normally, but when she arrived back at home, it was a totally different story. She turned the handle on the doorknob and walked in to find her whole family, crying in the living room. Her mouth fell open as she took a seat on the floor.
     "What happened?" Madison asked in a whisper. Madison looked at her mother who began crying even harder into her father's shoulder. Hayden pulled himself up off the couch, tears streaming from his green eyes and walked out of the room. Madison followed him down the hall and opened up his door.
     "What's going on Hayden, everyone is scaring me." Madison said her eyes widening.
     "Mark...he died, he's dead." Hayden answered solemnly, tears running down his already stained cheeks. Madison's knees fell out from underneath her body letting her land roughly on the ground. Tears immediately began flowing from her eyes.

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***September 17th, 2000:
    Dear Diary,
The past day has been hell. I just wish things could go back to the way they were. I know it's too soon to tell if we will ever be happy again, but right now it seems unlikely. Everytime I walk past his bedroom I breakdown. Last night I slept in there, it made me feel like he was still there. Seeing all of his stuff, his guitar, his bedsheets still smelled like him. Halfway through the night I was joined by Jake. Losing Mark has been the most horrible thing I have gone through, but it has really bonded me with Jake, Hayden, and Wayde. But I will never be as close to me as Mark was. The autopsy results came in today: overdose on a drug, maybe ecstacy. Ecstacy laced with something that caused a reaction, stopping his heart. That's all I can write now.

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    "Maddy, wake up. We are leaving in an hour." Hayden said leaning over his sister's bed shaking her awake. She rolled over and threw the covers off her head.
     "I can't go. I can't see him lying there I can't. And then crying in front of all those people. No." She said tears forming in her swollen red eyes again. Hayden moved over next to her sliding his arm around her shoulders.
     "Ok, well just think about it." Hayden said hugging her and walking toward the door, "Please come, you need to say goodbye."

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*** September 18, 2000:
    Going to Mark's funeral was really hard. Seeing him lying there, pale, DEAD was the most horrible sight in the world. I keep seeing the image in my head and it makes things worse. What makes things harder is the fact that I will never have another conversation with him, never watch another movie with him, never yell at him to turn down his guitar again, never hear his laugh EVER again. I never realized how attached I had grown to Mark, but he was my closest brother, and I took him for granted. Hopefully in a few days things will settle and some normalcy will come to this house. And hopefully my crying will cease, even a little. Until then...