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| The cow begins to follow me home, and I wonder how I�m going to break the news. I won�t have to, however, because my father is out front trying to pull his boat and trailer to attach to his truck. |
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| We walk up the lawn, so I can introduce him, when suddenly the cow makes a nice sized pie right there in front of us. I�m shocked and mortified. My TV star guest has crapped on the lawn, right before I can introduce her to my father. My dad stands there, unimpressed. |
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| The cow tries to make amends by helping my dad attach his boat. She picks up the hitch and begins to drag the boat the wrong way. I point out her mistake, so she turns to head the right direction. |
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| Before I can assure my dad of what a help this cow will be, the trailer gets toppled by a large root from a tree in my front yard. We stand there a while, and I know that my dad is not going to have this cow stay. |
| I CAN'T MAKE UP STUFF LIKE THIS. Chapter 3 |