Brian:

 

            We all gathered in the waiting room. Everyone except Nick and AJ Dr. Martin had called us in because he had something to tell us. Something important. After an hour of waiting, the doctor finally graced us with his presence. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but Lauryn lost the baby,” Dr. Martin stated to me, a hand of sympathy resting on my shoulder.

            I stared at him in disbelief. “Why do you look so confused?” Dr. Martin asked.

            “I didn’t know she was pregnant,” I answered.

            “Well then, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. It’s a special thing to be shared between the mother and father,” Dr. Martin said.

            “But I’m not the father,” I replied, my eyes focusing on Kevin. Everyone gasped in shock.

            “Brian, what do you mean?” Howie asked.

 

Kevin:

 

            “I’ve never slept with Lauryn. But someone I know has,” Brian stated, his eyes boring into me like hot pokers. “You sonofabitch!” Brian screeched, charging me and ramming me into a wall.

            “What?!” Shea screamed in confusion as I struggled to push Brian away.

            Brian backed down and exhaled loudly. “Don Juan’s been poking my girl for a while now. Ain’t that right, Cousin?” Brian sneered.

            “I’m sorry, Rok. It just sort of happened. We fell in love. You can’t control who you fall in love with,” I explained.

            “Maybe not, Kev. But at least some people have the decency to control themselves. Not everyone acts on love!” Brian retorted.

            I blocked out the rest of what Brian said, and sank down into the nearest chair. ‘I was going to be a daddy,’ I thought to myself.

 

Brian:

 

            I sat by Lauryn’s bedside, my mind seething. I wanted her to wake up so I could yell at her for lying to me. For betraying me. For sleeping with my cousin. I sat and sat, but she didn’t stir. “Brian,” a quiet call came from the door. “Do you want to get some coffee?” Shea asked. I rose to my feet and joined Shea at the door. She took my hand and together we walked to the cafeteria.

 

Kevin:

 

            I walked around the hospital garden, my mind swimming in a pool of babies. Lauryn was going to have my baby. Something I’d wanted for a long time. I was 28 years old. I should be married with two or three kids, not prancing around the world singing about love to girls half my age. I should be with Lauryn. Now and for the rest of our lives.

            I could see myself cradling that tiny baby, a baby with a tuft of red hair like its mother, like I had seen so many other fathers do. Fathers that I was envious of. I loved what I did, but fatherhood had been a dream of mine since I was young, and now it’s taking a backseat to the Backstreet Boys. Management says it’s bad for our image and can hurt our sales. Fuck the image! Fuck the sales! Fuck the Backstreet Boys! I want out! I want to ask Lauryn to make me the happiest man alive and be my wife. I want to make babies, lots of babies, with her. I want to finally settle down and raise a family.

 

Nick:

 

            I unlocked the door to my Tampa home, hoping to rid myself of every thought of Shea. But as soon as the door opened, I caught a faint whiff of her perfume. Even after months on the road, it smelled of her. I set my bag down in my room, and went to shower. Shea’s toiletries still sat on the counter, another reminder of the love I’d lost. Her clothes still adorned my closet. My bed still smelled like love.

            I turned on the radio and the chords of Don’t Wanna Lose You Now filled the room. All of it was too much to take. I ripped all of Shea’s clothes from the hangers, tossing them to the floor. I tore the sheets from the bed, and chucked her lotion at the bathroom mirror, shattering it.

            I sank to my knees in the pile of Shea’s clothes and screamed into the ceiling. “SHEA!” I buried my face in the pile and inhaled deeply. “Shea,” I croaked.

 

Shea:

 

            “Brian, please don’t be too hard on Lauryn. She probably didn’t even know she was pregnant,” I said quietly.

            “She was still sleeping with Kevin! My cousin! My blood!” Brian retorted, his voice growing louder with each passing word.

            “I know. And it was wrong of her and Kevin not to tell you, but at least now you know. She’s going to need a lot of support when she wakes up. Not the guilt of having an affair placed on her by you,” I explained.

            “What would you know about it, Shea?! You and Nick are perfect together!” Brian snapped. I felt the tears stinging my eyes, threatening to fall down my face. I turned my head so Brian wouldn’t see my tears, but I’d forgotten about my bruise.

            “Shit, Shea! What happened to your cheek?” Brian asked, reaching out and touching my swollen, bruised cheek.

            I winced under his touch, and he took his hand away. I took a deep breath and began to explain how well I knew the consequences of an affair. “Do you know why Nick isn’t here?” I asked Brian. He shook his head slowly. “It’s because of this,” I answered, placing my hand on my cheek gently.

            “That bastard hit you?!” he questioned in disbelief, a hint of anger in his voice.

            I nodded. “But he had a good reason,” I defended Nick.

            “Shea, no man has a reason, no matter how ‘good,’ to hit a girl,” Brian stated.

            “I slept with someone else. And he saw it,” I said, the tears finally trickling from my eyes. Brian stared at me, not knowing what to say. “I slept with one of his closest friends. I screwed up and I can’t take it back,” I continued. “God, Brian! I miss him so much!” I cried, burying my face in my arms on the tabletop.

            I felt Brian’s hand stroking my hair softly. “It’ll be okay. Just give him time. He’ll come back around. Wait and see,” he whispered into my ear before kissing the top of my head. I hoped he was right. But in my heart, I knew Nick wouldn’t forgive me that easily.

 

Kevin:

 

            I sat on the edge of Lauryn’s bed stroking her hand softly. I just watched her, studied her face, remembered how she was before some dick altered her life. I turned when I heard the door open behind me. “Kevin, can we talk?” Ms. Matthews asked.

            “Sure,” I answered. I rose to my feet and kissed Lauryn’s forehead lightly before following Ms. Matthews down the hall to the cafeteria. When I walked through the door, I saw Brian and Shea sitting at a table. I couldn’t see Shea’s face, but her shoulders bobbed up and down with sobs. Brian was rubbing her back soothingly, trying to calm whatever had made her upset. Brian saw me too. He leaned forward and whispered something into Shea’s ear. Then they both stood up and left.

            “Kevin,” Ms. Matthews said. I looked around and saw her sitting at a nearby table, two cups of coffee sitting in front of her. I took the seat across from her and she handed me a cup of java.

            “What did you want to talk to me about?” I asked, talking a slurp of the hot liquid.

            Ms. Matthews set her cup down on the table and folded her hands under her chin. “Stay away from my daughter,” she stated.

            The statement hit me unexpectedly, leaving me bewildered and confused. “What?” I questioned.

            “I don’t like you, nor do I trust you,” she remarked.

            “Ms. Matthews, you don’t know me,” I replied. 

            “I heard you. I heard you talking to Lauryn. I know you tricked my daughter into loving you. Sleeping with you. You destroy lives and I don’t want you to destroy this family,” Ms. Matthews explained.

            “I don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head.

            “You did this. If you hadn’t seduced her, Lauryn would still be with Brian and maybe this wouldn’t have happened,” she continued.

            “Look, Ms. Matthews. I didn’t seduce her. We fell in love. She came to me,” I stated.

            Before I could say another world, I felt a sting across my cheek. “How dare you! Stay away from Lauryn or I’ll have you arrested!” Ms. Matthews screamed at me. She snatched up her purse and started to leave the cafeteria. I looked around the room and saw all the people staring at us. Ms. Matthews paused at my side, glaring at me with cold, green eyes. “I’m relieved she lost the baby,” she said solemnly before walking away.

            My shoulders sank and the tears began to stream down my face. How could she say that to me? Did she have any idea how much I wanted that baby? How much I wanted Lauryn? I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. Sobbed for the baby I’d lost and for being forced to give Lauryn up for the second time.

 

Donna:

 

            I couldn’t believe I’d just said that. I would never wish a baby to die before it even had a chance to live, but I couldn’t take it back. I didn’t want Kevin Richardson in my or my daughter’s lives. We needed Brian. He was honest and sincere. The perfect man for Lauryn.

            Now that has all changed. I didn’t know if Brian and Lauryn would make it through this hardship and still be together in the end. But I’d be damned if Kevin was going to take his place.

            I sighed and took a long drag of the cigarette smoldering between my fingers. A habit I had restarted at the beginning of this ordeal. “Hey, Ms. M,” a raspy voice said behind me, followed by the flick of a lighter.

            “Hello, AJ How are you?” I asked as he joined me on the helicopter pad.

            “All right, I guess. Been better. Been worse,” he answered.

            “You and me both,” I stated, taking another drag. AJ stepped under the light of the pad and I could see his face. “AJ! What happened?!” I asked, touching his cheek.

            “The price you pay for betraying a friend,” AJ replied. I stared into his eyes, both rimmed black and blue. The bridge of his nose was swollen with a small cut across its width.

            “Are you okay?” I questioned.

            “I’m fine,” he answered quietly, his eyes falling to the giant H painted on the pad.

            I took another drag of my cigarette, and dropped the subject, my mind spinning with various scenarios.

 

Shea:

 

            I sat alone in the waiting room, a bag of ice Brian insisted I get pressed to my swollen cheek. Nick occupied my thoughts. His smile. His eyes. Him. I wanted, needed, him here with me. I couldn’t go through this alone.

            As I stared at the green tile floor, two large feet approached. Slowly, I brought my eyes upward, hoping with all my heart that Nick would be standing in front of me. Unfortunately, my eyes fell upon Kevin’s face. “Shea, can you deliver this for me?” he asked, holding out a white envelope for me to take.

            I took the envelope from his shaking hand. Lauryn was scrawled across the front. “Why can’t you give it to her yourself?” I questioned, flipping the envelope between my fingers.

            “I’m leaving. Something came up in Lexington, so I have to go,” Kevin explained.

            I could tell that he wasn’t telling me the entire truth, but I didn’t ask him to explain further. “Okay, Kev. I’ll give it to her,” I replied, taking the ice pack off my cheek. Kevin looked at it with wide eyes. “Nick,” I stated before he had the chance to ask what had happened. “It was an accident,” I added quickly.

            Kevin squatted in front of me and stroked my cold bruise gently with his thumb. A tear trickled down my cheek as I stared into Kevin’s sympathetic eyes. “Whatever the reason, he’s a fool for letting you go,” he whispered.

            The tears started flowing like rain from my blue eyes. I clutched Kevin’s hand in mine and kissed it, the tears splashing on to his flesh. He leaned in and kissed my forehead lightly. “Love you,” he said quietly before standing up and leaving the waiting room.

            A few minutes later, Donna ran into the waiting room. “Shea!” she cried breathlessly. I looked up. By the look on her face, I knew it could be nothing but good news. “She’s awake!”

 

Lauryn:

 

            I woke up from a deep sleep. Bright lights flickered overhead and a repetitive beeping filled the room. ‘Where am I?’ I wondered. I tried to sit up, but searing pain kept me from accomplishing the attempt. I wailed in agony and soon I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. That’s when it all came back to me.

            Suddenly, my mom and Shea were standing in the doorway. My mom rushed to my bedside and kissed my face again and again. “You’re going to be okay!” she sobbed.

            “Shea,” I croaked out, my throat dry and raw making my voice hoarse and scratchy.

            Shea kissed my forehead. “You really scared us,” she whispered, holding my hand tightly. I lifted my heavy hand and pointed to her red, swollen cheek. “I’ll tell you later,” Shea stated, shaking her head.

            My reunion with Shea and my mother was short-lived. A police officer interrupted us and asked if he could ask me a few questions. I nodded slowly. My mom held my hand as I began to tell the officer the details of my attack. Details I’d rather forget.

            “I’d just finished my set at the J’taime Lounge, and was walking home like I did every Saturday night after my show,” I began.

            I paused to take a deep breath and a sip of water from the glass Shea held in her hand. “I thought I heard something behind me, but I dismissed it and continued on my way. That’s when I felt a blow to my head and fell to the ground.”

            I sighed heavily, my chin quivering with the recollection of my attack. “When I woke up...” My throat clogged with sobs.

            “When I woke up, I couldn’t see anything. My eyes were covered. My hands tied above my head and somebody...” I sobbed inwardly, my body jerking.

            “Somebody was having sex with me.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I let it all come out. The tears. The wails. The agony of having to relive that nightmare again.  Shea squeezed my hand tightly. I looked up into her face. Her eyes dripped tears down her cheeks.

            Then I saw Brian standing in the doorframe, his eyes glistening. “That’s enough,” my mother stated to the officer. She ushered everyone out except Shea and Brian. “I’ll be back, Honey,” Mom said, kissing my cheek.

            Shea lifted the glass of water to my lips, and I took a small sip. “Can I speak with Lauryn alone for a moment?” Brian asked meekly. Shea nodded and left, leaving Brian and me alone.

            We looked at each other in uncomfortable silence. “Lauryn, I know about you and Kevin,” Brian stated after a few moments.

            “Kevin tell you?” I asked, uncertain of what Brian was feeling.

            “No. The doctor did,” Brian answered.

            I stared at him with confused eyes. “How would the doctor know?” I questioned.

            “You were pregnant, Lauryn, and I know for damn sure it wasn’t mine,” Brian explained.

            “Why are you using the past tense?” I inquired, new tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

            “You lost it,” Brian said bluntly.

            A few tears fell from my eyes, cascading down my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Brian. I never meant to hurt you. I should have told you,” I said through sniffles and sobs.

            “Yeah, Lauryn! You should have told me!” Brian snapped. “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you! I wanted you to have my children! But now, I don’t want to lay my eyes on you again!” Brian spat. “You are nothing to me! Nothing!” With that he turned and walked out of the door and out of my life.

            I sat in my bed, the tears a constant stream running down my face. I gazed around my room at the hundreds of flowers, cards, and balloons I’d received from people who loved me, but a plain white envelope with my name scrawled across the front in Kevin’s unmistakable penmanship caught my attention.

            Carefully, I peeled open the envelope and pulled the letter out. With shaking fingers I unfolded the paper, scared of what it might say.

Lauryn,

If this is the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do, I’ll count myself fortunate. This is not easy, but it’s something I have to do. I was given no other choice but to leave. Remember, my leaving is not your fault. It’s not because of you or the baby we could have had, but because I have no alternative. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. I would never hurt you intentionally. Hopefully someday you can forgive me for what I’ve done. I will never regret the time I spent with you and it will always be a fond memory in my heart. I’ll never forget you, Lauryn Matthews.

Kevin

            I refolded the letter and pressed it to my chest. The tears dripped off my chin soaking my gown and my heart. I’d lost them both. The only two men I’d ever loved. And the baby Kevin wanted so much. Would anything be normal after this?