Lauryn:

 

            Six months. I couldn’t believe it had been six months since my attack. I was almost completely healed. My bruises were gone and the scarring was very minimal, barely visible, but inside I still felt like dying. I hadn’t seen or heard from Kevin or Brian since the hospital. I’d read shortly after my release that the Backstreet Boys split up, each going their own way, because of unforeseen circumstances.

            AJ remained in the lime light, continuing on as Johnny No Name full time. Howie went straight in to staring in an independent film, but tried to keep in contact with Shea and me through phone calls and letters. Only occasionally did I see or read something about Brian or Kevin. They kept a pretty low profile, but I did hear that Brian had a gospel hour on WKYZ and that Kevin was living in Tokyo with Ming Li.

            Nick, like Howie and AJ, stayed in the spot light. His solo album My Life had just been released a week ago and his sales already flourished well over two million. Shea was one of those two million. He wouldn’t speak to her, wouldn’t call her, and it devastated her. Every night she’d lay the head phones across her round belly so her unborn child could hear it’s daddy’s voice. Every night she would cry herself to sleep and wake up every morning not wanting to continue, but knowing she had to for the baby inside her.

            Besides all the heartache in our lives, things were going well. I had a job as a makeup assistant and understudy to “Christine” in Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Shea still worked at La Danse even though she was six months pregnant. She taught four year olds the basics of ballet. She loved it, but still wanted more in her life. She still wanted Nick.

 

Nick:

 

            “Mr. Carter, we at DreamWorks Pictures think that you would be the perfect person to play opposite of today’s hottest young starlet,” Randolph Moyer, representative of DreamWorks Pictures, said.

            It had only been a month since the release of my first solo album and this was the third movie offer presented to me. The first two were cheesy, teenybopper flicks that would just label me as such again. I wanted a character with depth, mystery, intrigue. This film sounded as if it could provide me with a character I could really get into. “Who is this young, hot starlet?” I asked, staring at the script in front of me.

            “Reagan Adams,” Randolph replied. My head shot up, my eyes wide. I’d heard of Reagan Adams before. She was gorgeous. Nineteen years old with long, beautiful, wavy blond hair, and big, stunning blue eyes, a sparkling smile, and a curvaceous body. A true knock out. “Oh, you’ve heard of her,” Randolph said with a crooked smile.

            “I’m not sure,” I lied. I closed the script and rose to my feet. “Gentlemen, let me look over the script and I’ll give you my answer by Friday,” I stated. I shook hands with everyone and left the DreamWorks office.

 

Shea:

 

            “Calm down, Baby,” I cooed, rubbing my swollen belly that kept my child safe. It had been kicking up a storm all morning. I laid on the couch in front of the open window, the cool early-June breeze brushing over my skin. I gave up trying to tell Nick about the baby. He wouldn’t answer the phone or return my calls, and I didn’t want to break the news to him on the machine. I just stopped trying.

            I rubbed my belly unconsciously as I watched TRL. It was the only way I’d get to see Nick’s face even though he couldn’t see mine. I knew his first single “No Looking Back” was about me and our failed relationship. Every time I heard it, I’d cry. It made me hurt so much, but it made me happy to see it dominating the TRL countdown. “Hey, John. What did you bring us for news today?” Carson Daly, host of TRL asked newsman John Norris.

            “Well, I have a little Nick Carter news for you,” John replied. He then turned and faced the camera. “With his first solo album My Life already achieving diamond status in eight short weeks, 20 year old pop star Nick Carter has made a name for himself as a solo artist. Now, he’s going to make his break into the world of cinema. Our own Gideon Yago had the chance to sit down with Nick and talk about his upcoming film debut.”

            The scene changed to a brightly lit sitting room. Nick sat on plush, burgundy couch while Gideon sat in a matching chair across from him. “Nick, what can you tell us about this movie?” Gideon questioned.

            “Well, the title of the movie is Deep Deception. I play a young man who falls in love with a beautiful socialite, but she doesn’t know that I’m the son of the Mafia leader,” Nick answered.

            I gazed at Nick with misty eyes, my fingers tapping my stomach lightly. He looked great. Incredibly handsome. His short hair was slightly longer in the front so his bangs dangled in front of his baby blues. Light brown hair covered his chin lightly and his jaw seemed a little more structured than I remembered. Just watching him made me miss him more.

            “Who plays the beautiful socialite?” Gideon asked.

            “Reagan Adams,” Nick replied.

            “Can your fans expect any love scenes?” Gideon inquired.

            Nick smirked. “We’ll see.”

            “Production for Deep Deception will begin by the end of the month. The release is slated for next summer,” John said before turning things back over to Carson.

            “And keeping with the Nick spirit, here he is with ‘No Turning Back.’ Your number one request.”

            The video began and I could already feel the tears building up. It was like Nick took every part of the video directly from our relationship. By the time the video was over, I was bawling like an idiot. I clicked off the TV and closed my eyes, letting the breeze coming in from the window dry my dampened cheeks. I thought about Nick and Reagan. The stunning actress from Montana who had captured the hearts of many with her first movie Rogues. She was an over-night sensation and now Nick was going to be acting out love scenes with her for millions of people to see. It made me sick.

            My eyes snapped open at a knock on our door. Slowly and carefully, I hefted myself up off the sofa and on to my swollen feet. I peeked out the peephole and a smile spread across my face. I opened the door quickly and stood there, still smiling. “Hey, Gorgeous,” Howie said with a smile.

            “Hey, Howie,” I said back, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek.

            “Whoa! What’s this?” Howie asked, placing one hand on each side of my stomach.

            “This is what happens when I don’t see people for close to eight months,” I laughed. “Come in.”

            Howie walked into the living room and looked around. “So, what brings you by?” I asked him as I walked into the kitchen.

            Howie followed close behind. “Oh, movie premiere,” he replied non-chalantly.

            “What?” I questioned, turning away from the sink to look into his big, brown eyes.

            “Yep. I finished making that indie film I told you about. It premieres tonight and I want you and Lauryn to come,” He said with a wide smile, handing me two tickets he’d fished out of his pocket.       

            “Oh, God, Howie! We’d love to!” I squealed, hugging him again.

            “Maybe I should have brought you three,” he laughed, rubbing my tummy. I punched his arm playfully.

            Just then Lauryn walked through the front door. “Howie!” she screamed excitedly, running into his arms.

            “Hey, Girl. You’re looking good. How are you?” Howie inquired.

            “Fine. All healed. Working on Broadway,” Lauryn answered.

            Howie, Lauryn and I sat around the kitchen table catching up. I told Howie about the baby, and how Nick didn’t know because he wasn’t talking to me. “He’s going to be there tonight,” Howie said.

            I looked at him quizzically. “I invited all the guys. Brian and Nick are the only ones who committed to coming,” he continued. “He’ll want to know. He won’t abandon his child.”

            I hoped so. I wanted nothing more than to have Nick in my child’s life even if he wouldn’t be in mine. “Well, ladies, I have to go. A limo will pick you up at seven,” Howie said, rising to his feet. We walked him to the door where he kissed each of our cheeks before leaving. Lauryn and I sat together on the sofa. We were both scared. Lauryn of seeing Brian. And me of telling Nick.

 

Lauryn:

 

            The movie was wonderful. Howie’s performance phenomenal. But I still hadn’t see Brian or Nick. Shea and I stood at Howie’s side while he talked with other people who’d seen the film, everyone congratulating him on an excellent show.

            Shea tapped me on the shoulder. “Can we step outside?” she asked. I nodded and took her hand, leading her outside. That’s when I saw Nick. Nick and another woman.

 

Shea:

 

            I spotted Nick the second we emerged from the theater. He stood talking with Howie’s costar Ashley Judd with a buxom brunette on his arm. I watched him, waiting for Ashley and the other woman leave his side so I could talk with him privately. Finally, he stood alone so slowly I approached him.

            “Hi, Nick,” I said meekly.

            He turned around at the sound of my voice. “Hi, Shea,” he said back.

            “Can we talk?” I asked, twisting my ring around my finger.

            “We are talking,” Nick answered.

            I sighed and rubbed my palm down my face. “Fine. I didn’t want to tell you this here. I wanted to tell you privately, but you refuse to talk to me so this is my chance,” I began.

            He just stared at me, his blue eyes telling me, “I don’t care what you have to say.”

            “Anyway,” I continued, “I’m pregnant...and it’s yours.”

            Nick looked me up and down, noticing my very round stomach for the first time. I expected him to be excited. To vow to take care of his child like Howie said he would. But no.

            “I don’t think so,” he stated, turning his back on me.

            I grabbed his arm, jerking him around to face me. “What?” I questioned.

            “It’s not mine,” he answered, shaking his head. “I don’t believe it’s mine. Maybe you should check with AJ”

            I couldn’t believe my own ears. I was shocked, appalled, and mortified. What the hell was he thinking? “You sonofabitch,” I muttered. “You sonofabitch!” I repeated louder.

            “Is there a problem, Nicky?” his date asked sweetly as she approached us and looped her arm through Nick’s.

            “No. No problem at all,” Nick replied, glaring at me with cold, blue eyes. He and his date turned around and walked away. It felt as if he had just ripped out my heart and danced on it, tearing it to shreds.

            Suddenly, I felt a searing pain through my abdomen. I fell to the ground, clutching my stomach and writhing in agony.

 

Lauryn:

 

            “Hey, Lauryn. You’re looking good.”

            It took me by surprise. I wasn’t really expecting for him to walk right up to me and start a conversation after all the shit that I had done to him. “Thanks, Brian. You too.”

            I watched Shea talking to Nick out of the corner of my eye, making sure that she was okay. That she was handling the situation well. “Where’s Shea at?” Brian asked.

            “Over yonder,” I replied, gesturing to her and Nick with my head.

            Brian gazed over at her. “She’s looking good too,” he stated.

            “Yeah. Not bad for being eight months pregnant,” I remarked.

            “What?” Brian asked.

            “She’s due the middle of July,” I replied.

            “Wow,” Brian sighed. “How are things with you?”

            “Good. Working. All that good stuff,” I answered.

            Before he had a chance to say anything else, I saw Shea fall. I heard her scream for help. “Shit!” I screamed. “Shea!”

            I pushed past Brian and ran to Shea’s side. Both Howie and Brian were at my side in no time, Howie frantically calling for ambulance on his cell. “You’re going to be okay, Shea. Don’t worry. I think your baby wants to see you,” I whispered as I stroked her forehead, pushing the loose strands away from her eyes.

            It seemed to take forever for the ambulance to arrive. Shea winced in pain, but there was nothing I could for her. Finally, the EMT’s arrived and loaded Shea into the ambulance. I rode with her while Howie and Brian followed closely behind. We raced through the thick New York traffic to St. Patrick’s Hospital. When it came into view, all the things that I had wanted to forget about the hospital came rushing forward.

 

Shea:

 

            “Shea, there’s someone here who wants to say hello to you,” Lauryn whispered as my eyes fluttered open. She held a tiny baby in her arms. A tiny baby swaddled in a pale blue blanket. “This is your son,” she said, placing the baby in my arms. I had to have a C-section because his heart rate dropped during delivery and I had just come out of anesthesia.

            I cuddled my son in my arms and looked into his face. He had a sprinkling of blondish-brown hair covering his tiny, frail head. His eyes were closed, but every so often, he would open them so I could catch a glimpse of the dark blue iris. I touched the cute button nose in the center of his face, and traced my finger across his lips. “I love you,” I whispered, kissing his forehead. “I love you, Tristan Nickolas Walker.”

            “He’s so precious,” Lauryn said quietly as she lifted Tristan out of my arms and held him in her own. She rocked him side to side, humming a made up lullaby softly.

            A gentle rap came at my door. “Can we come in?” Howie asked, poking his head into the room.

            “Of course, D,” I replied. He opened the door all the way and he and Brian walked in, each carrying a huge bouquet of assorted flowers. They set the vases on the counter and kissed my cheeks. Brian stood behind Lauryn and gazed over her shoulder into my pride and joy’s face.

            “God, Shea. He’s beautiful,” he sighed, gently stroking his fragile head.

            I beamed with pride. He was right. My son was beautiful. A true work of art. Only one thing could have made that day better than what it was. If Nick was there holding me, gazing down at his son with love and admiration.

 

Lauryn:

 

            “I’m glad I got to see you again. I thought we’d never speak to each other again after what happened at the hospital,” I said to Brian as we sat in the waiting room.

            “I couldn’t hate you no matter how hard I tried,” he stated. “The fact is I still love you. Always have. Always will.”

            My heart stopped in shock, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. When I didn’t say anything, Brian continued. “I want to try again. To make a life together like we planned.”

            I still couldn’t speak. My tongue felt heavy and sticky, and my brain just couldn’t find the words that sounded right. “Say something, Lauryn,” Brian demanded softly, taking my hand in his.

            “Brian, I can’t. I still love Kevin too much to just forget about him. And if he comes around, I don’t want to hurt you again,” I explained.

            He looked down at the green tile floor, and I saw a tear drip from his eye. “I’m sorry, Brian. I will always have feelings for you. Somewhere in my heart, I will always love you. But now that you’ve forgiven me for all my wrong doings, I don’t want to screw it up again,” I said, squeezing his hand gently.

            He looked at me through tear-rimmed eyes. “I know, Lauryn. And thank you for being honest with me,” he whispered before kissing my cheek. I pulled him close and held him in my arms, my fingers stroking his hair.

            After a few moments, he lifted his head and stared into my eyes. The blueness of his eyes penetrated my soul, and I could see that he still loved me, but I knew I had made the right decision. He kissed my lips lightly. “I’ll always be here for you,” he whispered as he hugged me tightly.

 

Howie Dorough:

 

            I stood outside the hospital’s main entrance, the June morning air cool against my skin. I debated on whether or not to call Nick. Shea wasn’t going to and after what he did to her at the premiere, I didn’t blame her. But I still felt like he should know.

            I fished my phone out of my tux jacket and punched in Nick’s cell number. After a couple rings, he picked up. I could hear Reagan giggling in the background. “Hello?”

            “Hey, Nick. What’s up?” I asked.

            “Nothin’ much, Howie. What about you?”

            “I’m at the hospital,” I replied.

            “What? Are you okay?” Nick asked, concern ringing loud and clear in his words.

            “I’m fine. Shea just had her baby. A boy,” I answered.

            “And you’re telling me this why?” Nick questioned.

            “Dammit, Nick! Tristan is your son, and you know it! Suck up your God damn pride and come be with him! Accept him! Be his dad!” I shouted. I couldn’t control my sudden outburst. Nick just made me so furious with his lack of compassion and responsibility.

            “Howie, I don’t know it’s mine. She fucked AJ too. For all I know, it’s his,” Nick retorted. “Now, until she has some fucking proof, leave me alone!” With that the phone went dead in my hand.