I fear I've committed to heinous a crime, and have forever henceforthsince been banished from the English language. Above is a photo from my trail, just before the verdict is decreed. My crimes, I list as following:

1. There! There, there. They're there.

2. The Sos sew so so so so the soh sews so.

3. The kind kin's kind caned a kind kind of sort sort.

I admit, the second one is excruciating, but read them all aloud. To help, here is a paraphrase of each:

1. Look! It's okay. The two gentlemanly types have arrived.

2. A family from southern China, Mrs. and Mr. So, don't perform the tailoring arts that well which provokes a musical note (Do Re Mi Fah Soh La Te Do) to tailor like that there.

3. The nice relative's type thwacked a gentle sort of man.

As punishment for these crimes, my blatant disregard of adverbial placement rules, and my use of words such as "henceforthsince", I am being exiled from the English language and will be relocating to Japan. I'm still living in San José for my final days in the US. I'll earn my BA in Linguistics this winter from San José State University and will promptly be thrown out of the country. I plan to teach English there (to pass on my distorted understanding of our glorious language) and attend the University of Hokkaido, in Sapporo, to pursue a masters degree. I'm currently working as both the lead server over at Deep Restaurant (fine-ish dining) and as an English tutor at San José City College (as well as privately). As always, my email is [email protected]

Also: Why I Never Answer My Phone