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THIRTEEN-PACK
1. Pants Are Pants
2. Fireplace
3. Pomegranate
4. One and a Half Men
5. Love and Math
6. I'm Not on Drugs
7. Nowhere, CA
8. Stung by a Bee
9. Dear Boy
10. Eleanor Please
11. Michigan Tragedy
12. Your New Album Sucks
13. Nothing to Add
Pants Are Pants
Justice is rare in middle school
You make one faux pas, suddenly you're gay
Justine never knew the rules
Well, neither did I
But that's okay
So I don't live the way you do
Why should you let it bother you?
Pants are pants and shoes are shoes
Pants are pants are pants and shoes are shoes
I've skipped a lot of parties
That I knew I'd have no business at
I am a sensitive artist
And you know what?
I'm just fine with that
So I don't live the way you do
Why do you let it bother you?
Pants are pants and shoes are shoes
Pants are pants are pants and shoes are shoes
It's apparent I'm aberrant
But since the shoe fits, I will wear it
And wear it well
It's apparent I'm aberrant
But since the shoe fits, I will wear it
And wear it well
Well...
I don't live the way you do
But don't you let it bother you
Pants are pants and shoes are shoes
Pants are pants and shoes are shoes
Pants are pants are pants and shoes are shoes
Fireplace
You say you've said and done some stupid things
That you tend to let things get way out of hand
You wonder if it's fate, and you think no one can relate
Well, I can
You see, I'm gonna blow up big real soon
I don't want this shit to get around
I've come to the conclusion that there's only one solution:
To take my past and burn the mother down
I'm looking for a place with a fireplace
I'm looking for a place with a fireplace
I got myself into these dire straits
Now I'm looking for a place with a fireplace
It doesn't matter if the plumbing's shot
It doesn't matter if the walls are thin
I can't stand the heat, and so the heat's just what I need
So tell me, are you out or are you in?
I'm looking for a place with a fireplace
I'm looking for a place with a fireplace
I got myself into these dire straits
Now I'm looking for a place with a fireplace
You've got evidence to flush
You've got documents to shred
Well, I've got enemies to hush
And this won't stop until they're dead
But I'm looking for a place with a fireplace
I'm looking for a place with a fireplace
I got myself into these dire straits
Now I'm looking for a place with a fireplace
Pomegranate
We started again
The feelings remained
I don't know why we abstained
It's quite outrageous
So stark and alone
We save the world on the phone
My touch you condone
It's advantageous
We twist and we turn
Insist that we'll learn
I still feel the burn
And it's contagious
I've shattered the mirrors
And all I see is you
Your room is a mess
Thoughts to suppress
You think I'm the best
But I don't think so
You're sweet and complex
And even the sex
Once you undress
You're so courageous
You get me to cry
We kept saying goodbye
I'm not sure what's implied
And now it's dangerous
I've shattered the mirrors
And all I see is you
I've shattered the mirrors
And all I see is you
One and a Half Men
When I'd see her Tuesday nights
I'd ask about her plans
Never dreaming they'd involve
An interloping man
If it hadn't been a blur
She wouldn't have obeyed
I never said that she was wrong
But I felt so betrayed
When I'd commit some petty crime
You'd think she'd understand
Thinking she was in the right
She was controlled, for sure
But what did it mean to her?
Week after week she went
Trying to meet her needs
Crying over all she spent
She was still incomplete
After she went the second time
She was in his command
And couldn't bear to tell me that
She gave in to his lure
But what were we to her?
One and a half men is all that she needs
She's found one and a half men begging on their knees
While half simply owes her, the other adores her
She's found one and a half men too many to please
She's found one and a half men
She's found one and a half men
She's found one and a half men
She's found one and a half men
Love and Math
You may not like me now, but we have one thing in common:
We're both in love with math
So let's attempt to solve this problem
Break down the factors of these two actors
You'll see that I'm the one your left brain is after
Well, you might want to subtract me, but I just want to add you
So to break into your quadrant, I'll do everything I have to
Give me a sign � am I going off on a tangent?
I took my hope for us and I graphed it
Why ask if the probability of this working out is low?
Let's just try to make it function and see how it goes
We can dig trig or the Next Big Thing
Formulaic love I promise not to bring
Overlook my defects as I solve for 3x
'Cause what I lack in brains, I make up in respect
And I hope that if you find me statistically deficient
You'll at least find me linguistically exquisite
Take my digits in yours
See what I have to offer
We'll have memories to store if we just divide and conquer
And honey, I promise you that as long as I'm able
I'll keep on preparing you the finest In-Out tables
Peace out
I'm Not on Drugs
Up 'til four, and it ain't New Year's
Fucked up on Rhapsody and root beer
Got a brain, but I can't use it
Living on just air and music
Well, you don't have to tell me
I know this can't be healthy
But I am not your kind of dope fiend
I have my own kind of protein
I just can't get my mom to believe me
I'm not on drugs
But I probably should be
These days I am in fragments
These days I am a magnet
Seems like when I walk the streets
Everybody wants a piece of me
Hands full and pockets empty
The deck is stacked against me
Right about now I should be scared
It's all coming down, but I still can't care
And I get so stuck when I get in deep
I don't know what to do
But fall asleep
Or stay up 'til four when it ain't New Year's
Fucked up on Rhapsody and root beer
Got a brain, but I can't use it
Living on just air and music
Well, you don't have to tell me
I know this can't be healthy
But I am not your kind of dope fiend
I have my own kind of protein
I just can't get my mom to believe me
I'm not on drugs
But I probably should be
Nowhere, CA
November has ended
December's descended
And now more than ever I'm sure:
I was right, they were wrong
I've been right all along
I need a geographical cure
I have to begin again
This hasn't been my year
My name is Andrew Finnegan
And I'm finna get outta here
I have to begin again
This hasn't been my year
My name is Andrew Finnegan
And I'm finna get outta here
Stung by a Bee
Stung by a bee
Stung by a bee
Just walking down the street, and I got stung by a bee
I never bothered him, but still he had it in for me
I can't talk at the moment
I've been stung by a bee
Poked in the eye
Poked in the eye
Minding my own business, and I got poked in the eye
I don't know what his motive was
I'd never met the guy
I can't come to your party
I've been poked in the eye
Hit by a car
Hit by a car
I never saw it coming
I got hit by a car
It was moving pretty fast, and yeah, it threw me pretty far
I'd love to stay and chat, but I've been hit by a car
Violently ill
Violently ill
I must've eaten something bad, because I'm violently ill
Every pore is leaking blood and bile, filth and swill
No, I can't help with your homework
I'm violently ill
Bleeding to death
Bleeding to death
I hope you all are happy
Now I'm bleeding to death
Thank you, David
Thank you, Sara
Thank you, Andy and Beth
You wouldn't let me be, and now I'm bleeding
To death
Dear Boy
They traded roles three days ago
It's a sweet surprise
He's a soulful alibi
It'll weaken her, how easy he goes
Such is love all around
She's so easily aroused
Dear boy
Please burn
To break
And learn
It's a psychosomatic vaccine
It's a cardinal-injected empathy
I'll feel it too if I soon forget
You're a fighter full and fledged
I'm a lover with an edge
This is honesty under influence
It's a balance, it's a fall
It's a win or not at all
Dear boy
Please fail
We'll break
We'll bail
Losing hope is the game that we play
Take the pressure off your feet
It's your home and it's the streets
Eleanor Please
Once I knew
That she would start
Ending somewhere
And looking the part
Shamelessly fading
Freely she's saying
"I know someone
Who lost what they need"
I'm not able
To stop what she's doing
Hurting these people
No one can say:
Eleanor, please
You're hurting them now
And we can't tell you how
Eleanor, please
You're telling us how
You should never be sincere
Eleanor, please
You're hurting them now
And we can't tell you how
Eleanor, please
You're telling us how
You'll never come around
You're moving us
Somewhere else
Pushing our bodies
Left our spirits behind
You're looking at
Yourself in the morning
Stare at the mirror
And stand there in shame
You have no bounds
You are no martyr
Standing so proudly
Thinking you're smarter
Eleanor, please
You're hurting them now
And we can't tell you how
Eleanor, please
You're telling us how
You should never be sincere
Eleanor, please
You're hurting them now
And we can't tell you how
Eleanor, please
You're telling us how
You'll never come around
You have no bounds
You are no martyr
Standing so proudly
Thinking you're smarter
Eleanor, please
You're hurting them now
And we can't tell you how
Eleanor, please
You're telling us how
You should never be sincere
Eleanor, please
You're hurting them now
And we can't tell you how
Eleanor, please
You're telling us how
You'll never come around
Eleanor, please
You're hurting them now
And we can't tell you how
Eleanor, please
You're telling us how
You should never be sincere
Michigan Tragedy
[instrumental]
Your New Album Sucks
(One, two, three, four)
Tuesday morning went according to plan
I headed for the store at dawn with my money in hand
But I'm surprised they even bothered
To put you in stock
I picked it up for next to nothing
And that's just what I got
I got it
But I just don't get it, yeah
Your new album sucks
I bought it
But now I regret it, yeah
Your new album sucks
I guess no one's immune to the sophomore slump
It's not growing on me; it's going off to the dump
And I'm surprised they even bothered
To put you in stock
What the hell happened?
Your last album rocked
I got it
But I just don't get it, yeah
Your new album sucks
I bought it
But now I regret it, yeah
Your new album sucks (Here we go)
That was my five-ninety-nine, and I feel I've been cheated
Now you're in the clearance bin, and you're cheap for a reason
I don't want you to grow or reinvent or explore
You're out of print, so take the hint
And just do what you did before
I got it
But I just don't get it, yeah
Your new album sucks
I bought it
But now I regret it, yeah
Your new album sucks
I got it
But I just don't get it, yeah
Your new album sucks
I bought it
But now I regret it, yeah
Your new album sucks
Your new album sucks
Nothing to Add
Once things were good
Now things are bad
And getting worse still
I have nothing to add
But maybe that's for the better
I never could put two and two together