TYPICAL WOMEN

1. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first

name was Always.

2. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I

don't like to interrupt her.

3. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring,

wedding ring, and suffering.

4. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked,

"What's on the TV?"

I said, "Dust!"

5. In the beginning, God created earth and rested.

Then God created man and rested. Then God

created woman. Since then, neither God nor man

has rested.

6. Why do men die before their wives? Cause they

want to.

7. What is the difference between a dog and a

fox? About 5 drinks.

8. A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman

shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten

anything in four days." She looked at him and

said, "I wish I had your willpower."

9. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two

mothers-in-law.

10. Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in

some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife

until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every

country, son.

11. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified:

"Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred

letters. They allsaid the same thing: "You can

have mine."

12. The most effective way to remember your wife's

birthday is to forget it once.

13. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way

to get laundry done for free.

14. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men

would go through life thinking they had no faults

at all.

15. If you want your wife to listen and pay

undivided attention to every word you say, talk

in your sleep.

16. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew

what real happiness was until I got married; and

then it was too late."

17. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how muc

does it cost to get married?" And the father

replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


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