PONDERINGS

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software

.> I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

> West Virginia: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names

.> Montana: At Least Our Cows Are Sane.

> What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

> Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded firestation?

> It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

> If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

> HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW!

> When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

> Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

> I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!

> A closed mouth gathers no foot.

> The trouble with life is there's no background music.

> THE BILL OF RIGHTS... (Void where prohibited by law)

> If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.

> A FOOL AND HIS MONEY can throw one hell of a party.

> IF THERE IS NO GOD, > WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?

> When blondes have more fun do they know it?

> REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE BELOW AVERAGE

.> What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

> Losing a wife/husband can be hard. In my case it was damn near impossible.


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